I have regrets in life where it comes to girls, but when I look back and even now, I can't fault myself because the path is totally mysterious to me. I've been interested in a few girls but never knew how to make the gargantuan leap from casual friend to a relationship. Obviously you wouldn't say 'please be my girlfriend' - that is something a literal child would do. A major gripe I have is the concept of 'not trying'. If there was a fixed process to follow then we'd just do that - but human connection doesn't work like that. The 'effort' people talk about is courage. They already know how to get to where they want, it's a natural thing. I know I like someone - I don't know that I have 'feelings' but how could I? I'm not close enough to them and neither are they to me. If I were to try to get closer, it would feel very forced and cynical. This whole concept broadly applies to all relationships, romantic or not. Any attempts to get closer to someone feels mechanical and forced. I'm not in school anymore where we're all sharing our lives together, day by day. I'm sat in my home at a computer. I have no path and I am not sharing this non-existent path with anyone. If anyone understands what I'm saying, perhaps can relate to the way my brain works, please give me advice. My life is just slipping away and I literally know that there's no chance for it to change as I currently am. The world wont radically change so I need to change myself and the way I view the world, but that's a huge task and I can't do it alone.
>>31527391hit her, they love that
>>31527391OP, I think you have to make it known from the start if you’re genuinely interested in her and make it known that you are not interested in being a friend.Then ask to take her out on a date, that’s where you ask her hobbies and she asks yours and yall get to know each other.Saying ‘please be my girlfriend’ isn’t childish at all bro, if u make it with a full sentence like ‘ I love everything about you, and I think we’d fit well together. Insert name, please be my girlfriend’ would be fine. ( it worked on a Korean girl who I didn’t know one month later her family owned a major hospital )But I think they gotta be traditional tho and appreciate that kind of romance
>>31527391>The 'effort' people talk about is courage.Correct. And in case you don’t already know - courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway. I was scared shitless as a man to approach a woman. I was scared shitless to ask one out. I was scared shitless to marry one. But I did it all anyway, Buster.Know why? Because there are no finer rewards to those who take risks. That’s the way of things. Nature rewards the man who accepts his fear and trucks along anyway. And contrary to popular blackpill belief, women enjoy seeing you go through that fear. In fact they love it. Because it tells them that they must be so special to you that you’d be willing to claw through fear itself just to have them. It shows them that something about them as a woman makes you stir and shake inside. And that makes them feel truly loved, truly attractive.
>>31527837>>31528250I think you guys have the wrong angle - I don't have particular feelings for these girls. It's more mechanical - I like them as people and see them as someone who could be a 'candidate' for a romantic relationship. Part of it (especially nowadays) is lack of exposure (I might not even know what they look like, and may only talk to them once a week), and part of it is self preservation (subconsciously preventing myself from developing feelings as a defensive mechanism). If I take a step to try to advance things, even in a non-romantic way, it could be seen as strange and offputting (and again, very forced). I've never been in a romantic relationship so I don't know what it is to develop into one, let alone be in one. I have no idea how to play the game. There's more than one step towards a relationship (from a casual friendship starting point). I can crash and burn a friendship with a stupid message - I don't do that because I know that's not going to work. But at the same time, it feels like there's no correct path to take without literally being someone else.
>>31529432You think about you too much. People are usually troglodytes that see something they like and try their best to obtain it. In a conversation they don't think about how they look, but rather how to convince the other person.
>>31529494Yeah, that's why I feel hopeless. My personality is not geared to get what I want. You bring up trying to convince people things - I don't want to trick anyone into liking me. I have never wanted to do that. It's why dating profiles are such a strange topic - sure, I can get more likes if I photoshop my images and write a profile such that it describes a gigachad, but that's not me. There's no point. I only want people who have genuine interest in me for me. It's hard to navigate the world when there's little reason for anyone to have that genuine care, given the lack of shared lives/ communities.
>>31529518>there's little reason for anyone to have that genuine care, given the lack of shared lives/ communities.I agree, shit's hard currently. I feel the lack of community myself.That's capitalism for you. If you don't know how to sell yourself to others, no one will care.
