>meet Russian conservative qt grill>me have good vibe>we soon after meet for 1st date>best 1st date ever, we were 8 hours together>at the end, she gives a very harm hug>proceed to more dates, she tells me I'm her dream man, and other flattteries>she tells me she had no father as a child (divorced) and is very shocked by my affection and caring aura>she tells me she has never had a serious relationship before and that she has only met guys she liked but were not serious men for a relationship or serious guys that were boring and that I'm the 1st to combine both categories into 1 person>after the end of 3rd date I realize that she wants to move VERY, VERY slowly, on the physical domain of a relationship>she does not even allow me to hold her hand>later she gives me a lengthy text explaining that she feels pressured from my physical attraction & desire towards her and that she'll need MUCH time for anything physical to happen>realize she is mostly likely still a virgin>I tell her to just stay friends, since for me this is a form of emotional torture; she was not happy about this(part 1)
>>31531912>Later, next day, I text her to give a try and to help me to make this work for both of us>basically we agree that we'll keep on seeing each other with zero touching and we'll focus on doing fun stuff together (sports & going to the beach and other activities)>she tells me that after this period (probably many weeks, if not months), maybe she'll feel ok with progressing into physical touch (which I don't think she refers to sex - she probably means just cuddling in bed, holding hands etc)>I agree, because it's basically what I suggested (= to stay friends), and I don't mind having her as a friend, that maybe one day in the far away future it might end up in a relationship>in the meanwhile, of course I'll still be actively looking for other, not sexually repressed girlsQuestion:Do you think she is salvageable? I'm afraid that even if she manages to get over this initial state, do you think she'll be able to have a normal, sexually healthy relationship? I do like her A LOT, but she seems like a lost cause. I feel that too much work is needed for her to be normal and it's probably not worth it. On the other hand, good, waifu material girls are almost impossible to find nowadays.
>>31531922>do you think she'll be able to have a normal, sexually healthy relationship?no, she literally needs sex therapy. If not and you'll be in a relationship it's not just gonna be solved by you tip toeing around her issues.
>>31531922She sound autistic but you'd probably have a better read on that. If she is really just inexperienced and new to all this you could probably speed things along pretty quick she sounds good and sex really isn't everything in a relationship. Also guessing you have some experience with relationships but if not make sure you ease into it with physicality (at the start), you can play sports that give you an excuse to have contact and she will slowly start to like the intimacy and comfort of it
How old are you anon? You sound 18
She is 100% asexualThere are two types of virginsThose who will react positively to touch, like handholding, hugs, a kiss, this means she will most likely be into sexOr those who refuse physical touch or are strict/restrictive/very slowThe more uncomfortable and slow she is to something so human like physical touch she will not be into sex, and most likely be a dead bedroom or asexualAnother possibility- she suffered sexual trauma and is repressing
>>31531912>russian woman>fatherless>virgin>at 29who's gonna tell him lads?
>>31531912>>realize she is mostly likely still a virginEheheheYou're funny anon, you're very fucking funny, I feel sorry for you but this made my day and I just woke up
>Russian>virginoh no no no no
>>31531912I just skimmed through this, and I think, that if a girl says you are here dream man, but she doesn't want you to hold her hand, something is not adding up. If she's 29 years old, (I hate to say it) it's a red flag, the same way a guy who has never had a girlfriend would be a red flag.Her story isn't impossible, just borderline unbelievable.
>>31531912Be very careful, and make sure that she already has citizenship in your country. Russians can be completely ruthless and utilitarian when picking men. >>31531922>On the other hand, good, waifu material girls are almost impossible to find nowadays.That's because what you consider "normal and sexually healthy" is careless promiscuity under the guise of "serious" dating.
>>31532099>she suffered sexual trauma and is repressingMy money is on this, sadly.
>>31531912She has massive hangups and baggage that you're carrying for her at this point, to your own detriment. No sexual stuff is one thing, but if your love-language involves touch and even innocent physical intimacy, like you said, this is just torture for you. Moving slowly, okay, but essentially being an emotional cuckold, I don't know man. I couldn't do it, because it really would just feel like being friends and nothing more. For all the emotional labor, dedication, thought you have to put into a relationship, not having a physical bond of any kind is heartbreaking. I'd express as much to her, tell her that sexual intimacy is okay to hold off on, but that you need physical contact to make it work, otherwise you'll be suffering trying to keep it going. No blame, just express that this is a need of yours and figure out together if you can compromise or if you should step away to save yourselves heartbreak. There's no sense in pussy-footing around the issue or "keeping her in your back pocket while looking for something else", that's just wasting both of your time. Confront, be direct, reasonable and clear, and see how you can make it work for both of you, on both of your terms, not just hers. If she can't make it work for you too, then it doesn't work.
>this virgin won't have sex with me>reeeeeeeeyou can't expect to have it both ways unless you're too young to be posting on this site
OP here.>>31532099>She is 100% asexualThis is one of my main fears.>Another possibility- she suffered sexual trauma and is repressingthis is the other.>Those who will react positively to touch, like handholding, hugs, a kiss, this means she will most likely be into sex>Or those who refuse physical touch or are strict/restrictive/very slowShe is not per re restrictive to physical touch in general. At the end of our 1st date, she gave me a very harm, lengthy hug. It was beautiful.She also told me that she likes physical touch - she said she just feels pressure because she feels sexual pressure (although she has admitted that I've not pressured her actively, but she sense it in the air, which is true, ngl)>>31532047I'm 32.>>31532108>>31532159>>31532188is she is not virgin then wtf is happening? I cannot find any other explanation (apart from recent sexual trauma). I'm pretty sure she finds me attractive and she told me that she does not want to date "potentially good partners" if she does not like them.>>31534006>Confront, be direct, reasonable and clear, and see how you can make it work for both of you, on both of your terms, not just hers. If she can't make it work for you too, then it doesn't work.This is probably the best way to approach this. But I do want to give her some time, say, 2 weeks, to see if this can avoided without having to have "the talk".
>>31534207>recent sexual traumaDingdingding I think we have a winnerSeriously though, I have dated conservative women and they were not as weird about physical contact as your story. Intimate contact (not just sex) is a natural extension of a relationship - yes some people (especially the inexperienced) tend to be more nervous and not initiate it themselves but your description far exceeds that - sounds like there is some deep psychological issue.
>>31531912i'm on the same boat but with a 22 year old virgin. I'm 20 and i thought every girl lost their virginity in highschool at the latest, and she's out here finishing her degree a virgin, so i have my doubts, as you may expect.in my case it's worse since in your she at the very least wants a relationship, my girl just goes on dates with me and i have to assume she's into me.I love autistic women but goddamn are they complicated
dude, i hate to break It to you but she's not a virgin. 60% of autistic women have had some sexual experience in the past compared to only 20% for autistic guys. At 29 i bet she has a hymen
>>31531912A long goal of the slowest relationship.If achieved would give the best joy and good couple only if your patient.
Get another girl, unless you want the character development
