I wasn't the best boyfriend in the past with my girlfriend/first love. i was abusive to her, not physically but very verballyI would yell at her and threaten her. alot of the time it would just boil down to us fighting and got very toxic very quickly. After we broke up it was a wake-up call for me to change. i went to both anger management and therapy to try and fix my issues, i thought they helped. i dated around a few times after that and in college and never had any exchanges with those exes. Me and her made our amends last year but we broke off again after we fought once more. Even though i thought i had moved on, i still can't forgive myself and i still think about her and what happened in general. idk what to do, what do i do?
>>31536263you shouslnt forgive yourself for yelling at her and threatening her. suck it up. expand your life to something beyond her
>>31536263The fact that you did terrible things is bad, but dwelling on it is unhelpful, it clouds your judgement and prevents you from moving on.Figure out why you did what you did, and try to fix that. Examine how your current interactions are, do you still have the same tendencies?
>>31536300I tried talking to my therapist about it, i might bring it up again>do you still have the same tendencies?The best way i can describe it is whenever i don't get attention from X person i became close with i become paranoid they don't like me, even i later find out they themselves were busy with something
>>31536263Most people were shitty partners to their first. There's so many factors outside of your control that cause it so you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. You already realized what your faults are and sought help which is more than a majority of people would do. Take that relationship as a learning experience and just aim to be a better person.
You should pay for your crime by willingly getting into an abusive relationship on purpose so you can be yelled at and degraded by someone you're supposed to love and build a relationship so it can break you in the same places.
>>31536268>NOOOO YOU CAN'T FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR HURTING A PRECIOUS FEMOID>SUCK IT UP AND FEEL BAD FOREVERThis shit is why Jesus Christ was male and why in Godly societies women were never allowed any sort of real voice in the court of public opinion
>>31536412I try. I think its the fact i miss her, we cut each other off again recently.
>>31536421i have thought about this as a punishment, the worst i got was i had a friend who experienced this, i never told her what happened to me but i heard it from someone else. man...
>>31536263>idk what to doWhy were you angry if you didn't want to be? If you were going to regret it or think of it as a problem, why were you doing it to begin with?I don't understand how you could have a problem. If you didn't want to do the thing, you could've just not done the thing.
>>31536579>Why were you angry if you didn't want to be?Its hard to talk about, when i talked about it to my then-shrink we concluded it was a reaction to her being busy with her stuff and didn't give me enough attention, as a result, i lashed out and started becoming more controlling>If you didn't want to do the thing, you could've just not done the thing.Idk how to explain this either, one of those "heat of the moment you did it without thinking of the consequences" moment
