I have no hope or faith or optimism about the future, I do not have any masculinity in my soul or any value or character, I think I am a non-person, I can care about things, but I think at my core, I am lacking something. My mother jokes that I am autistic due being odd or dysfunctional, I see myself as a someone who doesn't have to exist, but does, and well, has no real defined reason to be a human being. I decided not to have friends because my emotions were too turbulent to keep being friends with people, with my family I have had some shameful emotions directed outwards to them, and I do not wish to comment on their own emotions towards me as that is their business. All I can say is, there is no real soul in me stopping me from doing things or crossing lines. Fearing God or the law or abandonment by God stops me, but never my soul.I feel as if I am not a good person at my core. I am really not and yet I have to have a future, I have to study and have a career because that's what we all have to do, but should I even sustain myself into the future, I have nothing the world needs from me that someone else cannot do or that has been done and that makes me feel a bit better, as I know that I do not have the fundamental masculine soul or kind heart needed to be happy, but regardless of that, I don't see much reason to live. I am grateful for the life I've had, the love from the family that hasn't left me, still I don't see myself being happy, or being a good person. I don't see myself being genuine or liked or even wanting those things. I don't want anything, God and my mother bestowed me with life, but I'm at a point where I have no use for it, my life could have been given to a soul that deserved it, it makes me sad that my pathetic soul got a gift like that, I feel sorry for God and the unborn babies out there. I feel sorry for my mother, my bio father I do not see or want to see, and my true dad.I have no hope for the future, there is something dark in me
>>31538381I don't pity myself or feel sorry for myself. I wish my soul was different for others, I'm ok with this life, but this life for the one's around me who matter most.
>>31538381What do you want advice for? This sint your blog
>>31538389I'm not sure, I don't have an answer for you,
>>31538399Don't post then. This is an advice board not a venting board. Its rule 1.
>>31538408Here's one question I would like answered, some advice in regards to it, why am I lacking a manly soul, or brain? Or if not that, why am I such a pussy (I mean this in categorical terms, not self pity)?
>>31538420Because you choose to be.
You really think so?
>>31538435You think so? Sorry I didn't reply correctly.
>>31538452Yes. You personality is nobody's fault. Its a creation of your own doing if you recognize the problem you have no excuse not to fix it.
>>31538487God told me what I am, I didn't discover it.
>>31538517Nothing you just said is relevant or coherent
>>31538445>You really think so?NTA but, while your personality might have some inborn tendencies, it also has a large component of habitual patterns of thought, which you can change.Basically, regardless of what you "really are" (nouns such as labels and identity) it is far more useful to think of yourself as what you DO (that is, in terms of verbs). What you do is largely a matter of your habits, and habits are malleable.
>>31538580I’m not feeling too coherent right now.>>31539584This gives me some hope, thank you.
>>31538381It's the spirit of the Antichrist, it was unleashed recently and now permeates the fabric of society.
>>31542474Are you calling me the antichrist or saying I am affected by it?
