I'm with someone I do not want to be with. It will break her heart if I leave her.I treat her so well and I love seeing her happy. I always tell myself just a little bit longer before I break things off, but getting to see her happy brings me so much joy. I do love her, it's just that I don't want to be in a relationship any longer. If we could just be friends, that would be great, but I don't think it will go that way, I know she will take it very poorly. I just can't bring myself to end it.I fell in love with her, which is why I am with her, we've been together for about a year now but she is not good for me. She is not mentally well and despite my best efforts I can't "fix her", it's completely exhuasting trying to constantly deal with her issues, I've tried just ignoring them, but soon after I do, she breaks down and starts crying. I've told her so many things, things I should not have, just to try and make her feel better. I tried telling her the truth once, that it's exhuasting me having to preform emotional labour for her, and she completely broke down and started crying, I had to say I didn't mean, and that I was just angry so that she would feel better. I tell her I love her, and this is no lie, I do, but she just brings out the worst in me and I don't want to live like this anymore. Before we met she was a very depressed person, I've made her feel so much better, but now she is reliant on me, and I feel so bad about what will happen if I break things off. Before I met her I was so much more hard working, I had a lot more ambition and energy, but since I've become exhuasted because of dealing with her constant problems and mood swings (she is bipolar).
just stop putting in effort until she dumps you.that's what I do
>>31540502it will still hurt her. I know that I need to leave her, it's wrong to be with someone I don't want to be with, I just can't bring myself to do it.
>>31540512sounds like the plot of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.Have you seen the movie? It's pretty good
>>31540519yes I've seen it. It's a pretty common trope. Only difference is that I'm not cheating on her and I don't treat her like shit or take advantage of her.
>>31540526well anon it's time to man up and dump her. You can't keep letting her bring you down.Just make sure you're not going to regret it a few months from now and send her a "hey" text.
>>31540512>I know that I need to leave herWhy? Your OP post was extremely vague, it's hard to offer any insightful comment. Did she wrong you in any way? Or you just fell for the dumb romcom meme, where a couple matches perfectly and lives happily ever after?
>>31540696I only have so many characters and if I write too much about things, people don't reply to my posts. You can infer everything you need to if you believe what I'm saying. She has not wronged me. I love her. It's just that being with her is really hard. We're really not even that compatible, we live very different lifestyles. I want to pursue my dreams and she doesn't help with that, she makes it a lot harder. She takes up a lot of my time because she needs constant attention, it's often that she will get angry with me over small meaningless things and then later come crying apologising for the way she acted. I forgive her ofc but it takes a toll constantly having to deal with these sorts of things. I want to relax and chill with her but it's like I'm constantly on edge. I can't even be quite with her, I have to give her undivided attention and talk with her constantly for hours because if I stop talking or suggest that I leave she gets upset about it, if I keep ignoring this it eventually boils over and she becomes a mess. I have to really mind my words as well, I have to constantly think about what I need to say, everything she says must be affirmed and commented on in a perfect way, a "yes" or "no" will never do. I just can't with this shit. I can't even communicate this to her jokingly, she really doesn't take it well. She’s like a child that needs constantly looking after, it’s honestly like I am her parent. I want to be with someone who gives me energy and is fun to be around, currently it feels like a chore.
>>31540814Did she went through any trauma recently? Was she like this when you first met?
>>31540441I don’t think you love her. And that’s okay, it doesn’t make you a big bad person. Disagree with me if you want OP, but know I speak from a similar experience to you. And when I was falling for your same mistakes, I eventually learned two things:1) I didn’t actually know what love was.2) I was an unknowing dumbass,Love is more than a feeling. Love is a choice, it’s a commitment, it’s rationally acknowledging someone’s flaws and weaknesses and accepting them as they are. It is not ‘fixing’ them. It’s not chasing an idealised high were you get to feel like their saviour. Or martyr. Whatever ‘love’ is derived from that scenario is not love for them, not really. It’s loving the feeling of being needed. It’s more akin to limerence than love. And the thing about limerence is, it fades, and it dies off. And when it does, people will tell themselves >“I don’t love them anymore. I still love with them I’m just not IN love with them anymore. I don’t feel the fuzzy love feeling anymore so it must mean it’s over.”The harsh truth is — bullshit. There was no actual love at all. Only a messy cocktail of limerence, sunken cost fallacy, and idealised images of romanticised pictures of ‘love’ projected onto each other. Never really seeing the person as they are, only what they COULD be. Again, I’m not saying you are a bad person. But you might wanna think over what you mean by that word, ‘love’. I know I fucked up for years myself, trying to build up and save a troubled girl for myself. I paid the price for that. Bottom line is this: If you have to parent your partner or play therapist to your partner, you don’t have a partner. You have a project.
>>31540441I was a woman like this dating a guy like you. The brutal truth is you have to end it. The only 2 ways this type of relationship ends if you don't nip the bud now isA. She miraculously changes, not gonna happen. B. You break up with her with her after years of investment, children, marriage, etc, making it hit 7 times as hard for both of youAnon if you feel like this now, in 1-2 years you're absolutely going to hate everything about her. You have to end it.She isn't even just crazy, she's abusive to you.
whole lot of words for>can't find new pussy to fuck so much stay with her so that i can fuck some pussy in the mean time
>>31540502Same lol. I know that feel OP. If being with her doesn't improve your life then it's not right for you.
>>31540441She is manipulating you anon.What you have there is a narcissist.
>>31540441I'm you 4 years from now. I just broke up with her today. It doesn't get better.Sure there were good times. We're also both aspie so we understand each other. But the constant misery, breakdowns, crying like her dog died. The one sided support, never getting any empathy in return. And then being a regular old toxic bitch when she wouldn't get her way. She brought out the worst in me too. I wish I realized sooner that being a savior doesn't make me a good or better person, it was really only for my own satisfaction.
>>31542261>>31540502This is just a sign of weak character, I'm sorry for the girls who got into relationships with you desu.
>>31540441Have you tried being a man? If you don't want to be with her just end it. Stop this bullshit internet question circle shit. You know what you need to do.
