I still believe in God, my life hasn’t been that terrible that I’ve lost faith in him or Jesus, but for some reason every night before bed, I lose all hope for tomorrow. I don’t believe in myself at all and I’m starting to consider just ending my life, I have a good life, it’s just that my mental standards are super duper high or unrealistic or are focused on all my mistakes like losing my friends or family and I don’t want to go and be happy, I am keeping myself in society and life hoping I get the juice back to go again but I’m not, I am getting more and more aware of how I suck and really my birth hasn’t helped anyone at all, In fact it separated a lot of people from each other. I feel bad about that. And my own wrongdoings. 20 yrs old and I feel like I my life doesn’t have any value, all the people who’ve come before me have achieved all the world needs. Are any new generations needed? Are we genuinely skillful, do we have souls? I don’t have a soul, I sapped it out of myself and destroyed it trying to be something that wasn’t real. That’s my fault, I just see so many people who are sapping their souls up, who wants to be in that world, a world I helped make because I sapped my soul up and destroyed authenticity in myself. I don think about this stuff at all til bedtime, it’s not really worth thinking about but it hits me. I have felt like changing my looks on my face so I can be disguised and maybe that will spark me to be happy again, new face where the people I wronged can’t recognise me, the police won’t recognise me, and the people I’m afraid of won’t recognise me. Disclaimer: I haven’t broken the law, and I didn’t hurt my ex friends but rather took some jokes badly and my mother forced me to leave the friend group after I showed her what they were saying (pretty normal teenage stuff like you would hear from high schoolers but I a pussy about it eventually). Seeing the people I had to leave scares my mind and body
>>31581376OP all this bad shit's from the devil. btw the devil is a pussy with no power. the evil one is a weak little bitch and he'll try to get you away from god by making you despair.>for some reason every night before bed, I lose all hope for tomorrow.the evil one's trying to get you to despair (he's a bitch)>I’m starting to consider just ending my lifea permanent solution for a temporary problem, 100-200 years ago people didn't have time to think about stuff cause they had to feed their family.>I am getting more and more aware of how I suck and really my birth hasn’t helped anyone at allnot true you're made in the image of god. god had a hand in your birth. you matter.>I don’t have a soulyes you do. not sure about metaphysics but you have a soul.you matter to Jesus. he cares about you and loves you. even if you're only 1% better everyday that's a win and if you win enough days your life gets better. don't despair, pray and read the gospels. god bless.
>>31581519I didn’t realise the devil was doing this to me. I appreciate you supporting me, I’ll keep on going and I am glad Jesus loves me. I may not be ploughing fields or anything like that but I care about my family and support them like Jesus supports me. But I see your point, you spend all your day working, who has the mind energy to think about any of this. Still I’m lucky to live in the modern world, the first world. I hope I have a soul, here’s hoping I start to win a little like you said. God bless you too, thank you. I’m tired and I probably sound pretentious, but I do get what you are saying even if I sound defensive.
>>31581376This sounds like me nine months ago. I fully embraced atheism and feel better now. There is no God, there are no souls, we all receive the sweet release of oblivion upon death. I was a devout christian before becoming agnostic, before becoming atheist. For me, there was a psychic tension created at the corner of my autism and decaying religious systems. The pressure of being a child of God is too much. It made me alternate between delusions of grandeur and feelings of cosmic incompetence. Christianity and all religion is inherently psychotic. Believing that morality depends on religion is the greatest threat to the species. You don't matter to Jesus, there is no Jesus. The story of Christ is a bastardization of the real hebrew prophet Yeshua and the Roman empire has systematically raped his story to create the perfect citizen's guide to the empire in the new testament. Religion is there to make you subservient and deranged, let it go.
>>31581668Now I’m confused so much. Let me have some time to think about what I should believe but I appreciate you supporting me. I’m happy to talk to further if you stick around til tomorrow (my time in aus), but I do believe in God, sometimes I wake up and go nah the world is horrible how could he make it, but believing in God is what helps me go about my day, I have the chance for a new day to be a new beginning for me because Jesus died for my sins, yours too. The world is beautiful, God made that, and Jesus connected with the people God made.
>>31581668I've never read anything this historically ignorant, holy shit
>>31581706Do you mean ignorant in terms of biblical history or general history?
>>31581668This desu.
>>31581780You think like this too. I was raised to believe in God; and one time I said I didn’t (it was a rare lapse in faith for me) and my mother felt very sad, don’t your parents care about you having faith and comfort from God? I believe in God, it was just that one bleak moment that I didn’t that made me believe again.
>>31581376I'm not reading that ramble. Ask clearly for advice next time.
>>31581376Faith is belief without evidence. You have it if you decide to. Maybe you doubt your faith but, it’s there. We may not have souls but it feels like we do so I’m not sure what difference it makes if we do not. Religion is more slippery than faith. It makes more sense to me to try to make the best of this world while we can and not leave it all up to a deity. Even book literalists ought to agree that we art the fruit of knowledge and are here to fend for ourselves for the time being. I don’t believe that your predecessors have done much other than to give your generation the fundamental luxuries and mediocre political systems. It can get better or worse from here and the oldfags have no say so in the direction it goes.
>>31582430Understood will do.>>31584871Ok I understand. I’ll try to be better
