>>31582227
I wish the world was less fucked up.

>>31582227
they're trying to quiet fire my ass. i just know it.
on a monday, a day that is traditionally the busiest day of the week and after a realistic holiday weekend, i had a whole...

...2.5 hours of work. not even fucking around with that number.

i spent the majority of my day working on private projects. at this point, the company is literally paying me to privately learn web programming because that's all i do on most days.

if i could ever get this job to be remote, i'd be realistically semi-retired. no joke.

thanks for paying me $300+ today to work on my private projects, guys. see you tomorrow.

You think having a clingy gf would be the greatest thing in the world until you actually have one, then you realize that clingers don't actually love you and are simply objectifying you and using you to satisfy a deep, emotional hunger.

it's over.

I hate being sad alone. I wish I didn't have to go at this alone. At the end of the day, I'm the only one on my side. Not my friends who could never understand how I feel. Not my family who are more of a burden that I have to prop up, endure, and provide for. I just have to be stronger, I guess.

Why can't I understand that is over?

Have to maintain <3:00 service and 0 complaints for two days straight because my store manager won't fucking stand up for us to the director.
I can manage 0 complaints, easy. I already get the fewest of all the night shift leads.
But under 3 minutes is NOT going to be possible. My store is in a suburb; 9 out of 10 orders are fucking bulk. No one makes small orders anymore. Plus everyone who comes through the drive thru is
>foreign
>old
or
>extremely high
So it quite very often takes 2 minutes or more just to take the fucking order.
Piling onto that, most of my cooks are new and training. I HAVE to cheat the timer.
And yet another thing, DoorDash and UberEATs have been losing drivers bad in this area so every driver has two or more orders, so they're gonna be sitting in the drive thru waiting for two or more FAMILY orders. That's gonna take more than ten minutes.
The timer system needs an overhaul. It shouldn't start counting until the order is sent, but it starts counting the instant it detects a car. Which means that 3 minute mark is very often already past by the time they finally pull up to the window to pay and wait for their $80 order.
Fuck. I miss just being crew. Y'know what, I've been "shift lead" for five whole months without the raise now. Might as well just give up the management responsibility if I can't get the fucking raise.
I even lost the promise of backpay for some unknown reason. When the raise comes I'll be making 50 cents an hour more than the max that position to make up for it, never mind that it would take YEARS to make back what I'm owed for that five months.
Fuck it. I'm done being a manager. Wish I could say "yeah the money is good" but I'm not seeing the fucking money, I'm still on crew pay. I'll set up a minute to talk with the store manager this week and I'll be looking for other night jobs in the meantime.

Kira, your seductive eyes makes me want to fuck you every time you look at me. Touching your hips was a bad move on my part.

I will love you dearly and forever if you'll have me

>>31582227

I rent a house with a 50 year old woman who clearly has some sort of cluster B personality disorder like:

>delusions of grandeur
thinks she is like an undiscovered celeb chef; her food isn't bad but she always uses too much salt because she thinks putting a bunch of spices in it makes it good

>victim complex
says she is bisexual but also they/them which makes no sense, thinks she has street cred with black people because she grew up around them, told me she was jewish but then said she was catholic, etc.

>pathological liar
waste my time telling me stories that are so outlandish and really no reason to lie about except to seem more interesting. told me she ran away from the police and jump from one roof to another roof, bill clinton sexually harrassed her, random things that went viral that she takes credit for but she 'chose to remain anonymous', etc.

>sees everything in black/white
if you don't agree with her she will take it as hostility and assumes people are being malicious first when most of the time just ignorant or bad timing. it's really annoying because she will yell at the landlords who get angry and threaten eviction, or a guy making important repairs saying they are trying to break stuff on purpose and then they leave and shit doesn't get fixed

>lack of boundaries
calls me her mother, has been in my room several times without permission because 'i had the fan running', also doesn't read the room and ignores my body language like trying to strike up a convo when i'm carrying a bunch of stuff or clearly busy and will not shut the fuck up

>showers me with gifts
gives me leftover stuff she makes and then would tell people that she cooks for me and she's like a mother to me, but it's literally a lie and makes me look like a fucking manchild

>very quick to weaponize
she witnessed my panic attack after finding out i'm getting laid off and she immediately uses it against me during a petty argument

sometimes i understand when someone interrupts me because i am quiet and tend to mumble but it's like i can't even get a sentence in it's almost like she isn't even listening to a word i'm saying and that she likes the sound of her voice.

>>31583134
wat do if im the clingy emotionaly hungry bf?

>>31583749
I wish you would.

>>31583749
The stand off will continue

>>31582643
Me too.
Too bad men just want to make the world worse.

I read "The Egg" and it made me realize that it's probably the only way people can ever actually get along.

>>31582227
weak people praising their own weakness and stupidity as a virtue piss me tf off holy shit. there's nothing more irritating than having to carry a doormat family member you're stuck with. thank god i'm moving out in 7 weeks. being the only non-fuckup of the family is so fucking hard sometimes.

>talk to girl
>hang out with girl
>she stops talking to me
>sad (YOU ARE HERE)
The cycle continues...

i wanna play with a cute womans legs

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1.58 MB GIF

>>31582227
I think I finally come to the conclusion I am just not really looking for a relationship. Which is strange because I never had one in the first place.

But I now that I have cleaned up my act and learned good social skills. I finally get matches on dating apps and girls seem interested in me.

Yet now that this once unobtainable virtue is within my grasp. I think its mystique is wearing off. And I can see a bit more clearly now.

I used to ask myself: "What do I have to offer as a boyfriend?" But now I am wondering: "What does a relationship have to offer me?"

It's a strange thing wanting something you have no idea as to why. You're always afraid of the answer, until you truly know it.

Another conversation with my mother and her trying to get me to move.
They bought a new house like a month or so ago (the process is still ongoing, they are signing the rental agreement today to rent it out to some family) and last week she asked me if I wanted to move into it instead of them renting it out and now I had another conversation with her about it.
I don't understand why she thinks this is a good idea, how the fuck am I by myself meant to take care of a 4 bedroom 5 bathroom house? why does she think this is a good idea?
im happy living at home with my own bedroom, a study to myself, and a spot in the garage with the rest of the living spaces being shared.

A few months prior my parents bought a new car and my dad asked me if I wanted it instead since my mother really didn't need something new and my car is 10 years old now.
my car is fine, its great, I have no problems with it, I don't need a new one.

I don't understand why my parents want to do this, they do okay but we are no means rich, they are working class and worked tough jobs all their lives saving up money to life a comfortable life and provide for me and my siblings but this stuff hasn't come easy and I don't understand why they just want to give me things.
I haven't earned any of it, I haven't done anything for it, just rent the place out and help pay it off, I don't need more from them, I will sort it out and figure it out on my own, I already appreciate having a safety net and being able to always go back home if things go wrong I don't deserve all this help.

I had a conversation with my mother prior and she said she always found me difficult because I never asked for things and I still don't ask them for things unlike my siblings and my parents find it difficult to help me. But they provide plenty, I don't need more help.
Them helping me just feels suffocating because I feel indebted if they help me, even if they say I am not I feel it.
I even feel shitty complaining about this.

I know exactly what to say to her, but there will never be a time. What a tragedy.

Global conspiracy hush money payments to keep the poor down

I think the elites have gotten into my head guys

I hate trannies. I hate them so goddamn much. They make a mockery of womanhood and I’m so sick and tired of libs letting these freaks do their sick shit in public.

We are not the same. Fuck off.

You don’t like map-making now?

Too bad!

…oh, right.

I built myself from nothing and now I'm collapsing
It feels like I've just been dying slowly since I fucked up

I can't catch a break
I didn't get the promotion that would have secured me
No one contacted me back for the jobs that would have saved me
I see people succeeding in all other aspects of life and I'm just fucking dying
Why?

Someone said I needed to grow a pair, I’m inclined to agree.

I NEED TO DOMINATE MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. WHY WONT HE LET ME DAMNIT

>>31584414
Make time. Get it off your chest for real.

>>31582227
I have a weird situation where I'm often torn between "I know that it's a privilege to have my attention that most people will never be able to enjoy" and "I'm completely unlovable and just so stupid for ever thinking otherwise."

i have blue hair and pronouns

aight just gonna stop bothering you then, sorry for caring

I think I might have BPD

I know that it is my responsibility to get out of this depression and I'm doing everything that I can with what I have, but it would be nice if I could get some direct help, I need a hug and cuddles and be told that It'll be OK

>>31585319
Need

>>31585737
Ok, bye. Have a nice life.

>>31585737
bother me please

all that and now i need to go to war just to pay for the sins of my father

what fucking bullshit i can bail anytime i want but my conscience wont let me fuck it all i dont even think the upcoming fighting ill have to do compares any amount to any of that shit

Fuck you E.
Fuck you A.
Fuck you M.

Sometimes I would have these hyper intensive out-of-body visual experiences at work where I would be stuck in the void, grabbing this naked woman, and burying my teeth into her shoulder trying to rip the flesh off. Every time I did this I felt like God, it's like fairy dust flew off me each time I ended the fantasy. I think I'm going to start taking meth because it makes you psychotic, I want to go to the other side

>Be son to Asian immigrant parents
>visibly different from the majority White Canadians, never truly fit in with them, sure they're polite and humor you but nothing more than that and I wouldn't expect more from such a distant ethnic group.
>family assimilated to local norms, always spoke English and never passed on the mother tongue
>given the cold shoulder by other Asians because rootless banana
>have zero appeal to the Asian diaspora or local women as a result
Part of me thinks that I can solve this problem by going out of my way to learn my mother tongue but aside from the odd conversation with my grandparents, nobody in my social circle speaks the language. I'm afraid I'd be committing to this significant effort and see diminishing returns as just because I learnt a new language, that doesn't fix the problem of me being uninteresting and having few acceptable small-talk subjects to probe strangers with.

>>31585833
Which one? The personality disorder one? Or the mood swing one?

>>31586128
Start by not being ashamed of saying your people, even if you're a Philippine it'll not be as bad as being a Canadian.

>>31586128
>white people are nice but distant
Dude I'm white as fuck in a racist state and I don't have any friends and people I've known for years treat me like a stranger. It's not always race. Everybody has this weird delusion that their own unique thing is causing them grief from the rest of society.

My black friends think anything bad happening to them is because they're black. My gay friend thinks any bad thing happening to him is because he's gay. My trans friend thinks nobody else suffers but him because only trans people have it hard. Etc etc.

The reality is that our modern life sucks. People don't socialize well anymore. We watch tv shows and talk like sarcastic comedians instead of real people. People don't make friends and then go home and endlessly scroll YouTube, Facebook, or tik tok. Get out in the real world and deal with real people. Play disc golf, ball golf, pickleball, tennis.. something. You'll be happier and maybe make some actual friends

>>31585405
That time has long past.

>>31586257
Canadians are far less friendly and humane than Americans.

>>31582027
Anon... I said I work in aged care lol of course I can't keep a job working with children because I don't work with children. I have no interest in ever doing that kind of work, no hate to people who do, the amount of paper work and legal responsibilities that are involved before you even consider entitled parents is not worth the minimum wage. I've been working in aged care for near two decades at this point, five of those as a man, and the dementia patients who have tried to physically assault me and call me a kike cause of my name have better reading comprehension than you. Are you sure you're not a woman, or a transwoman, with the amount of bullshit you just spouted about me cause you sound exactly like those old harpies.

I miss you so badly that I can’t stop thinking about it

I swear, every single time I end things with a girl, I find a better one almost instantly... but I never want to settle with just one because what if someone better is just around the corner? This is honestly a blessing and a curse

>>31582227
I'm weird.
Sometimes I despise people to the point where I daydream about throttling them, but I read about the lives of strangers in tragedies and I will just feel numb at the fact that these people will never see their families or live their lives.

>>31586191
Cantonese-Chinese, so that makes me a minority in an already-minority community. I don't know if I just need a thicker skin but during the few interactions I had with other Cantonese, the conversation would inevitably become a humiliation ritual as the curtain is pulled on my monolingualism and I would have to bite my tongue as the cheap shots come my way. Such encounters don't do me any favors towards rediscovering my roots if it means having to potentially spend more time around such catty people.
>>31586257
I'm aware that people beyond minority groups are eating shit as well and that the loneliness epidemic doesn't discriminate. For me though, I just want to enjoy life with people I know, without having to constantly prove myself, people that I just click with and don't have to explain myself to.
Despite the tone I've crafted, I'm honestly not too troubled by this. This is just an irksome that rears its ugly head once-in-a-while when my routine slows down and these abstractions are allowed to blossom.

>>31586470
>Cantonese-Chinese, so that makes me a minority in an already-minority community.
You know there are like 85 mi Cantonese, right? But Chinese in general are really not friendly with people who are doesn't seem to be putting a real effort to follow their culture.

But I'd give a shoot if I were you, any Chinese culture is far more free and warm than whatever Canadians have today.

>>31586470
>>31586494
Let me try to say a bit more. Any Chinese sub-culture is very complex and very different from what people generally have in the West, to the post of both often being polar opposites. So it happens that when people with Chinese blood born abroad try to fit in with their own, then they to show values, habits, world views... that simply doesn't fit, and people ostracize them.

I don't think it'll go very well with people from HK or Singapore, but there's a book written many decades ago by a guy in the US, that should teach you the worldview you need to fit both in China proper and Taipei Island.

let me find you

>>31586494
>>31586525
The idea of unconditionally accepting outliers is an alien concept to these cultures, so maybe I could do with a bit of introspection on my end, give a little and humble my ego to really understand these conformist/Confucian societies.
It's the polar opposite mindset from what I've been born in, like you said.

>>31586545
>to really understand these conformist/Confucian societies.
The first step is to discard these notions you already have, if anything for all I can see Western societies are far more conformist than anything I ever saw here. I guess I can say that any Chinese society will be extremely tolerant, as long as you don't press other's boundaries, so it can easily give the external impression of conformity, in contrast with Western societies where you have a broad idea of how people should behave in a private level.

But between wrong notions and lack of information, it must be truly hard to grasp for someone raised in the West.

>>31582643
I get sad when remember that not everyone has a good or long life and some people are just pieces of shit.

>>31586573
>it must be truly hard to grasp for someone raised in the West.
Cultural mannerisms and values are almost always passed down from parent to child, stem that flow of knowledge and it's an uphill battle if you don't have a guide or someone to vouch for you. After all, you're a stranger that nobody has an obligation to unless you're paying them.
Such is the fate of the cosmopolitan western world.

>>31586631
I remember the name of the book, it's Lin Yu Tang's "the importance of living", it should have all the basics.

But if I had to tell you a few cheerful things, I'd say a lax humane view of the world, with good amounts of laziness, is the core of any Chinese sub-culture... it's far less oppressive than anything I've experienced after you get used to it.

Basically, as long as you don't bother other people, you'll not be bothered in your private life. Stuff like "le good guys" trying to ban or overtax cigarettes, playing cards (or tiles) and alcohol are unthinkable, and people will not censure you for drinking, play cards or smoking a lot, as long as you don't cause trouble.

>>31586663
I'll check that out, cheers mate.

>>31586675
I don't know if I'm allowed to post links on adv, but let's give a try: https://terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/import.pdf

But what I meant to say is that unlike the common view in the West, Chinese sub-cultures tend to be very lax, humane and easygoing. Despite looking rigid and alien from afar.

>>31586675
>>31586680
The two opening quotes give a great general idea:
>It is not truth that makes man great, but man that makes truth great.
Confucius
>Only those who take leisurely what the people of the world are busy about can be busy about what the people of the world take leisurely.
Chang Ca’ao

>>31586680
>>31586694
Wasn't expecting a promising lead like this, thanks again.

>>31586751
Be welcome, if there is anything else I can help you with, just tell me.

>>31585894
You are a retard for answer posts everytime that aren't meant for you, your pathetic.

I hate you, and you are horrible. I hope you don't refer to me anymore.

on one hand, if i don't take this opportunity ill regret it the rest of my life. on the other, if i do take it then i can never go back to the way it was before.
im running out of time and i don't know what to do.

I know that you were a decade older than me, it was never meant to be, it wasn't healthy or right, but I still think of you sometimes and I want to message you again, you're right there, I could do it any instant, but I know that I have to find someone closer to my age...
I hope that you're in a better place and not working that miserable job anymore, and that you would be proud of who I am now.

>>31584243
Moving out doesn't mean you're still not a fuck up. It just means ur moving out. Fuck up

I would give anything in the world for you to give me a chance. I don't want any other women, I'd be happy with just you.

It's too easy......... maybe a little too easy...

>>31586961
stop with that bullshit

>>31587022
I just started talking to someone and they're already obsessed with me...... I don't even know what I did to cause this, that's why I'm saying this is a little too easy..... its VERY suspicious!

I'm finally starting to have some more self respect and see my own self worth, but I know that the girl that's more perfect than a unicorn for me only sees me as a friend, and I can't even consider looking for someone else.

Why the fuck did the little fuckers want me to go to sleep immediately after dinner?

>>31587068
She could be borderline, or bipolar. Either way be careful. Crazy people can drag you down too

>>31585319
My girlfriend won't dominate me.

I'm a christian. Every other christian woman I have dated has treated me like shit. The person who has treated me the best is a woman who isn't christian and is a self-proclaimed pagan. She's supportive of me in every way and has the same interests hobby wise and sexuality wise. She's fit too and appreciates that I take care of my body as well. Some random bitch told me I am going to hell because I am with her.

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Finally told my sister in law I’m not gonna watch her kid anymore after he broke 2 windows due to a meltdown. She goes mad at me but I told her get bent and pound sand unless she pays me back for everything her kid broke in my house which totals up to about 6000$.

After showing proof it was her kid(Thank you Ring cameras) she beg me not to sue but I’m in talks with a lawyer right now. Life is looking up.

Pic on how she looks(Yes I know she looks trashy. She IS Trashy)

You are too annoying and now that I think about it there is nothing good about you.

Thanks for saving me from you.

trying to convince yourself?
beacause you know that's bullshit

It does not get better, it does not end well. The things I like to pretend won't ever happen are going to. It's all already plotted in the slow descent. I can step back all I want but the moment that it seems like I can barely tell what the big picture is, it disappears in the horizon behind the curvature of the earth. There is no answer, seeing as there was never any question in the first place. Intangible, without form beyond the unique human ability to conceptualize and imagine. We press it against the grinding wheel and it changes shape, but without ever losing material until the wheel stops. Sometimes my penis gets abnormally cold.

All throughout history, there have been people tasked with the challenge of figuring out how to inflict the greatest amount of pain on other people.

Friend group whined and put me on blast on social media for being silent for a week. I was in hospital due to a nasty lung infection and could hardly stay awake for more than two hours a day. None of them apologised for talking shit about me and said I had to pay for a dinner to make it up to them all. What the fuck? I could've died if I didn't manage to call an ambulance but I should pony up a few hundred dollars to make it up to them because... I was "ignoring them on purpose" and one of them had a panic attack because of it???

I'm just sick of everything

You, your mother, father, siblings, friends all rely on key pieces of machinery to create, maintain, and believe in the illusion of identity. We function within these guards rails even when we acknowledge this collective piece of fragility. We can't function in any other way. Our perception relys on this suspension of disbelief, to believe in the set pieces of our modern lives and society to make order of what any one of us is currently experiencing. And then eventually it starts to crumble as do the people around you, and you just get fucking clocked.

This cynicism, as does all cynicism, protects one from the pain of hope.

I ingested a relatively large amount of chemicals over a relatively short period of time.

I guess, the way I view a lot of this (wish would ideally change but, we'll, you know) is that if I bung it real bad and kick the bucket like Gary Anderson, I don't know that I would mind it much the next day because I would be really very dead and unrecptive to any of the anger for having missed the field goal.

>>31587378
She's probably right about the hell part but maybe if you ask your family to pray for you both, you'll be okay. Tbhh we're already in hell.

I think I would much rather kick the bucket than kick someone's head like a football and give them permanent brain damage, but apparently people like that are still eligible to be hired by decently reputable football leagues.

Fuck if I know

>>31587695
Go to sleep mane

>>31587702
no u

>>31587715
In a bit, hold on

Lot of words said with confidence for a stupid little piss boy

>>31582227
I was washing my asshole in the shower earlier (I like a clean butt, okay?), and I felt this small lump/sore near the anus. It doesn’t burn really badly when I touch it but there is this very small irritating sensation when I touch it. Even though I am just a little concerned, I’m gonna hope for the best for now that it’s some kind of rash or benign sore.

>>31587887
Probably a hemorrhoid or ingrown hair.

If there's another presidential debate, I think they both should have headphones and ASMR mics and take turns whispering at each other.

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>>31587926
They should replace Biden with Nick Mullen doing an impression of him and Trump with Shane Gillis doing an impression of him and have them answer the questions as their respective replacements.