Hey

Hey

You ever play video games?

after three relationships i've realized i'm perfectly fine being single and jerkin' my gherkin and collecting the check. i only wanted to lose the V card desu

>>31672740
When I was younger yes. Mario Kart, xena warrior princess, donkey Kong, etc

>>31672753
YOU.

ARE YOU AMERICAN, RUSSIAN, CANADIAN, OR BRITISH

>>31672787
American

today will be a shitshow.
i'm guessing i might have one hour of work assignments out of an eight hour shift.
if only i could bring a laptop or a phone into work, it would be somewhat tolerable.
at least they let me browse the internet and play podcasts, though. so there's that.
at this point, the job is literally universal basic income with the occasional task.

>>31672801
was in a similar situation at my last job. shit's soul sucking, had to fill the time with learning new skills like languages and shit

>>31672751
real, wish more mfkers would realize the reason they don't have a relationship is that most of us would rather be doing this.

>>31672593
i get jealous sometimes because my ex (indefinite no-contact) and my best friend still chat regularly

>>31672593
Yeah I'm pretty sure you're going to treat me like shit over losing a job. Like.im not allowed to be angry that I have to sit here longer having nothing and no way out of this living hell

>>31673038
I'm the ssshole some how, my parents fucked me over on a job opportunity for no reason.like there's nothing going on and this shit isn't planned and then get angry at me for finding a job and treating me like shit over it.

I had a flight booked back home to visit family, but it was delayed from 1am -> 6am on Friday, then cancelled. Couldn't get any other options from Delta, waited in line at the airport for over 4 hours combined only to be told there's nothing they could do. Searched frantically and eventually found a first-class ticket, 3x the usual cost and with odd hours, which was to arrive at 2pm on Saturday; even that was delayed to 11pm (and was bumped to coach on the last leg).

My family tried convincing me not to go, to just get a refund, it wasn't worth the stress and lack of sleep wandering the airport for the entire weekend. At some point I realized why I was so desperate to book this flight.

Let's say I knew someone who was in my exact mental condition in the last few weeks. I somehow know everything they're going through. What would I pay to not leave this person to suffer alone with their thoughts over yet another weekend?

I think I need help.

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>talk to a girl for a few weeks
>get her number but she states she just wants be to friends
>we start texting the same night
>talking bits by bits every day
>we are just spruging out about music and games before bed
>day later we continue talking
>I go aspie and show her my collection of games
>she stays up hours sending me pictures of her's, like a bunch of them
Boys, I think she's autistic.
Though I must admit it's kinda fun, this feels like being a kid and showing another kid each other's card binders and just gawking at each other's cards.

>>31673069
Oh you poor caring bastard.
You have a little bit of codependency growing, if not full blown. Yes, it's thoughtful and loving that you would go to those lengths for someone you care about. You are causing yourself a lot of stress and headache for them. You value them more than you value you.
While you do it from a place of love and concern, it also comes from a place of control. You want to help control their thoughts and mind, as a way to help. Ultimately it may be because you need to prove you're loveable, dependable, caring to others because you don't care about you. You don't respect yourself enough to at least take your time.
You can't control what they think or do because of those type of thoughts.
How many times will you do this? Because you already know, at least inside, that they will do this again. Will you disrupt your life again for them when it happens?
The only reason I said this is because I did this for someone that would pull that card on me. She's still alive.
She isn't in my life anymore. Things are getting better but it took years of her abusive behavior for me to finally walk away.
How much are you going to give of yourself simply because you want someone, anyone, to give back to you?

Fight the future!

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I read almost every day, but I only like reading science fiction, fantasy, ya, romance, and sports stuff. I only seek stuff that fits my comfort zone.

>>31673181
100% this, codependency is about controlling the other person’s emotions so that you indirectly control your own discomfort about them

>>31673001
I doubt it

cute young women get crushes on me when i have a hat on but as soon as they see the bald...

>>31673845
That I'm jealous or that they chat regularly?

If it's chat regularly:
When we hang out I see DMs from her on his phone pop up a lot of the time. She seems to text him quite a lot and I occasionally see their convos on his phone. I only glance but they seem quite fruitful

>>31673755
You might like Royalroad, it's full of webnovels with that stuff.

I am not real
You are not real
Nothing is real
reality is a Lie
my soul screaming for me to stop the fight, and embrace sweet edgy oblivion
yet I... just can't
even this world is better than simply Nothingness
for what's the fucking point of staying dead... if one will inevitably come back to some reality to exist once again

Life is okay. It can be good

>>31673755
Checked and if you want to start reading more brainy stuff, you need to find what your academic comfort zone is. I thought it was philosophy for me, but most philosophy texts are incredibly dry and boring. I read psychology and alchemy by Jung last year and it was very enjoyable and enlightening.

>>31675407
okay

>>31673069
Ah, that delay was because of the windows malfunction that hit those airlines friday I bet. That was weird, seeing all those pictures of airports with wall to wall BSODs on every terminal.

I got revenge on that BPDemon.
Apparently she tried to kill herself and got caught in the act.
Still had to go to the hospital and such.

I don't feel like a hero though.

I miss the atoga thread.
Is that banned here now or what?

>>31675627
i dont mind it existing but just go to soc jeez

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>>31675711
I know they have one there, but it's way more civilized here. Soc is so degenerate. I imagine there thread is just pure hornyposting.

If I don't get a princess gf by the end of the summer I'm going to nuke the Yellowstone supervolcano.

>>31672593
I want honest answers. Why do people become so irrationally angry when anything relating to the subject of dating comes up? I was screamed at by a woman the other day because I told her I didn’t want to date (a woman she doesn’t know) another woman in a long-distance relationship. She cussed me out and said I was mentally ill, and threatened to call the police on me. She also broke a wine bottle by slamming it on the floor. This was all over me simply saying that I don’t like long-distance relationships.
>YOU’RE SO FUCKING STUPID REEEEEEEEEE
That was what she kept screaming over and over again.

This is not the first time this has happened related to dating. For example, if I say that “I’m waiting for the right person” by rejecting a woman or two, other men will cuss me out and threaten to stab me. They say that “it’s not normal to not date”, and become red in the face with rage.

Why are people so preoccupied with other peoples’ privacy? It almost feels like, in our culture, it’s the privacy itself that makes people irate.
>WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE REEEEEEE

unrequited love sucks. im retarded and suck. i did this to myself. i need to ingrain that words without action are weightless and should be treated as such.

Im starting realize lot of my childhood friends and schoolmates could have been sexually abused until the age of 10
I cant prove anything so far but the fact the I cant tell wether I was abused or not doesnt let me sleep
My parents said it just me being inmature and its just in my head which makes me even more anxious

Well hello there, little girl!

Will you allow me to gently caress your chest?

Afterwards; I could go balls deep down your throat!

I am incredibly close to booking an appointment for a happy ending massage. My parents will be out of the house for one week next month which means I won't even have to come up with some bullshit story to explain where I went.
On a completely different note, there's this absolute cutie I've known for 5 years and I kinda wanna hit her up, but I feel like doing it out of the blue after so long will be weird.

Why shouldn't someone kill themselves if they're inferior in every way and can't function in society properly?

>>31676739
The elites need you and your descendants to create the slave class.

>>31675591
Was your revenge making her suicidal? Or interrupting her attempt?

Had to give up my job..because of my fucking parents..I hate it here

The Crow and The Punisher come to mind.

>>31676982
What makes it more bullshit, the place I was going to work at is 4 mins down the road. There's no sidewalks, nothing. My dad has the car my brother has my dad's, I have no transportation and users would cost a lot to go back and forth. I got fucked again, and I was so happy I found something and it all goes craving down once again. It's brutal and I feel like shit, I tried so hard and for so long to end up with nothing again.

>>31677005
Im.tired of sitting around here unemployed like a bum. It's embarrassing and humiliating. I just want out of here and more bullshit again.

>>31676497
>words without action are weightless

not always desu. Don’t be a whiny shithead

>>31672593
Fags.

Yeah, I try to do the right thing. I believe absolutely and unequivocally in moral righteousness and live my life as close as I can to that.

But I also feel that I despise every single fucking person I see and I am plagued with thoughts about genocide and hate and murdering everyone.

While I am a very moral and upright person, kind and considerate, I think that if society broke down and there were no repurcussions, I'd go around murdering every single fucking rat bastard human I saw.

>>31676497
Actions without words can be misinterpreted. Not to go all incel, but there is truth to someone pulling out all the stops to court someone and another one just stepping in and succeeding with but a question

i ruined or was anxious avoidant with a lot of women in my twenties, and i felt so embarrassed about barely dating that i pushed all my friends away and cut all contacts, and if i played my cards better i could have dated around and found a fulfilling long term relationship by now, and even if i got my social life back we're all old now, and dating women my age fills me with regret as the idea of marrying them means closing the door on that chapter of my life forever feeling like i failed at living the life i wanted to live, so i guess im just fucked innit. It's honestly just easier to find peace in solitude at a certain point. This is a lot to realize and deal with but I think it's gonna be okay.

will my ex girlfriend ever come to her senses and realize that we had a good thing and that all the things she said about us being her best relationship was actually true? Its already been a month and Im accepting things better but I still cant but feel shocked about how it all went down

>>31677021
apologies im trying not to be self loathing but its an issue where i take people at their word when i should be more critical of their actions and intent

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I'm such a gamer

>>31677057
i actually feel a lot better after putting this all together. i guess i gotta figure out the new ideal life that can fit into my situation. maybe not having kids isn't a big deal. maybe just living is nice.

*pops a boner behind you*
psssh nothing personnel, khid

>>31677108
I'm glad you feel better. To be completely honest I feel like I'm in the same boat as you, though I still would like to get married and have a family at some point. I don't want to give that dream up. I'm happy that you feel peace over the status quo for you, because I'm a wreck here.

I don't have anything else to add but I wish you good fortune.

>>31677143
i also wish you good fortune. im open to it, like winning the lottery, if it happens.

Who's hitting the gym with me?

*Exits stage left* bye again GIOYC. Enjoy your summer.

>>31677391
talk to you later

>>31677492
Bye

I want to die.

>>31677548
Why?

https://youtu.be/lfMM8tdchbY?si=CBn44W_Zuw5pasPQ
Life went on for me but so many times I had to ask why?

I’m a horrible person. I don’t know how to fix myself and i’m rotting away, i’m in love with my best friend but god she’s a horrible person, but i am too. Maybe we are meant for eachother. I hate myself for being so horrible, but it’s so fun. I don’t know what to do from here.

>>31677606
I don't know.

I’m going to lose my virginity (25 year old KV) to an older white escort soon. I understand there’s no going back from this but I’m tired of getting friend zoned or asking out women who already have partners.

>>31677650
nta but huh. me too i guess. im going to stop living in regret now and just roll with my options. see ya later imma go get chinese food to celebrate my new worldview.

>>31677650
Then how do you know?

>>31677668
I feel the desire to die. I don't know why I feel it.
>>31677662
I thought about getting chinese food for dinner but don't feel like going out to get any.

>>31677691
atop being gay

>>31677718
I'm not gay.

>>31677718
Anon that’s not loving a same sex person that’s depression

i am going to get hair transplants and try to hit on women 5-10 years younger than me at bars, and that's all i can do. that's literally all i can do.

>>31677874
That's not all you can do. Take the pussy off the pedestal.

>>31677883
i am and have an otherwise extremely fulfilling life, and just feels so fucking good when one loves you. I've tried cocaine and it's not even close.

You still shine brighter than moonbeams and blackouts.

i feel bad for Biden his whole family died and secret agent son got in trouble for that gun all because his dad was a target in the smear campaign. I like Trump too but I actually feel like Biden was a good guy.

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I'm beyond exhausted.
I can't find succor, peace. My job has driven me into the ground. My fiance complains if I don't come home and do more chores. I've spent all summer with different blue collars from different backgrounds, some felons, some old retired union hands, but all of my comradery with them is so fake. The idea of dealing with them outside of work makes me cringe, and I back away from those invitations.

The reality is that I've molded myself into something that can thrive in this circus tent, but I hate it. I hate the drugs. I hate the work. I hate the city I live in and the bums that come up to me and ask for cash. I hate the tolerance for bad behavior. I've built this life from almost nothing, putting over 10 grand into a fucking wedding when I couldn't even talk to people less than 10 years ago, but there's something so horribly wrong with me still, and I can't figure it out.

I don't get why I still reject people.

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>>31678086

>>31678123
he's from an error where people commented on each other and looked at each other like horses, also you gotta kiss babies and pose and stuff, that compilation is actually a lot weaker than i thought it was gonna be also

damn. I fucked my girl, and the condom broke right at the moment she's ovulating. I bottom her out too so I shot it straight up her cervix

She took a plan B but apparently there's a sizeable chance that doesn't work during ovulation

God damnit lads

>>31678140
era* lol
looks like i made an error lol
hah hah
we have fun around here

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>>31678140

>>31678143
/r/ihavesex

>>31678151
post the pinch

>>31678086
It’s not really fair what Biden is going through. Old age and a demagogue keeping him from finishing out his career the way he’d like. But don’t feel too bad because he got what he wanted by becoming president and will be remembered for a long time defined by his will to do the right thing by others.

Crushing really badly on a guy at my work rn. It sucks with how hard he is to read. Usually it's easy for me to tell if someone is into me, but his actions towards me have left me so confused, like mixed signals I guess? I worry I may be doing the thing of assuming someone might be into you just because they're friendly. I have a feeling it isn't or won't be reciprocated, but at least it's still fun when I get to see him, gettin those butterflies when he gives me attention or stands real close to me.

>>31678163
>>31678123

>>31678160
I'm serious, I might be cooked

>>31678174
Ask him out

Roiled and boiling

>>31678178
nothing looked too bad in there to me desu and again he is the silent generation. boomers literally had memes about how often biden's generation pinched kids. im open to it but everyone's calling each other pedophiles.

>>31678174
i bet he likes you. ask him to hang out.

>>31678215
>nothing looked too bad in there to me desu
You probably shouldn't be left alone with children

>>31678232
you're a bad faith bot

>>31678237
You're talking about yourself

>>31678245
if out of thousands of hours of footage of biden and scooping up the whole internet this is your best shot it's weak. you're probably an actual bot that wasn't turned off yet. though maybe he is a pedophile i just dont think you proved anything. there is a case going that trump is a pedophile and he hung out with fucking epstein. if you want bad faith me not thinking trump is a pedophile is bad faith.

>>31678260
That Joe Biden is a creep is pretty much common knowledge at this point. I think it's just a case of "a person believes what they want to believe".. The whole whatabout Trump thing is just the cherry on top. You all play from the same book.

>>31678313
bro every guy is a creep these days, society will fight to the death so gay men can rim each other's assholes but god forbid a heterosexual man touch a human being after he come out of his mom's vagina

>>31678317
Your thinking is twisted

>>31678313
Trump has literally been found liable for sexual assault in a court of law. With a slew of accusers detailing other such acts

>>31678447
Your president’s own daughter implies he is a pedo.

I have to post this right now because I'm wondering if anyone related or what it means:
It's currently 1:33 AM and I'm just chilling in my room but suddenly I feel like I'm about to get scolded. Mind you, I didn't even do anything and I'm a grown-ass adult (and I was not raised in a household where people scolded or were abusing, I was always well-behaved by my own volition!)
Like, it feels like some adult man is just gonna come out of the wall and start scolding me.
maybe I daydreamed it a bit while dozing off?

>>31678510
makes sense. i hallucinate while falling asleep sometimes.

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Spent years writing this novel, and now as I upload the final chapters to RR I wonder... what now?

I'm not my friend's type physically but she lets me fuck her anyway just off personal chemistry.

I have never really experienced casual sex before. It's always been in the context of a relationship.

It was always strange and a little disturbing to me when female friends would mention hooking up with guys they didn't care to actually date. Now I'm one of those guys.

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>told my oneitis that I was worried she might be a dumb slut
>she responded saying she sure hopes she doesn’t give off that impression
She’s dating someone else so I thought maybe telling her something hurtful like that would make me drop the whole thing and move on, but now I just feel like an asshole.

i fucked up so much. Maybe datings just not in the cards anymore.

>>31678616
>oneitis
>dating someone else

I hope you're not older than 18

>>31678635
What if I told you that I am? You gonna come give me a kiss?

>>31678636
Sure, but only on the cheek or forehead

>>31678641
I’m very cute though. You may be tempted to give me a *real* kiss when you see me. I’ll bring breath mints just in case ;^)

My wife and I wanted another kid and now it's on the way. Full on, "oh it's a good day in my cycle? Let's go!" She's 5 weeks. But now she has buyers remorse. She's always telling me about how hard this is going to be. After she wanted kids and tried for one.

Honestly, women are so confusing. But abortion is illegal in my super religious country. So she has to have my kid now. In a weird way I feel like I own her for the next 8-9 months

>>31678688
You've been on this rodeo before, you've got this. Unless you're poor, in which case, you don't got this

>>31678738
We have the money. And a supportive extended family. She just wanted another baby so much and now that she has it on the way she's thinking of how I much work it's going to be. She should have thought of that earlier. Can't undo it now. Buns in the oven already

Whoever thought it was a good idea to make every fucking printer wireless/bluetooth only is a massive cunt that I hope rots in Hell or whatever negative afterlife they care to believe in for eternity

This new immigrant stopped me and asked for some direction. She and I began chatting and exchanged whatsapp.
She is a single mom with a son. Smashable. Should I? Kind of want to but seems wrong.

>>31678897
radio frequency mice are fucking awesome tho if the puter is close enough

>>31678906
Why would it be wrong?

>>31678491
>if she weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her
People died for that swine on Jan 6th. They died for him at a dumb rally gone wrong. Both times he glossed over the losses and continued making everything about himself. I hate 4chan politics as much as the next anon but I entreat thee or anyone else to not become another life and soul snatched by that man

>>31678940
I was talking about the part where he insists on showering with his teenager. Why don’t you go hate your Zionists’ puppets on /pol/?

UGH tfw I see a slut post a slutty post at the same place my boyfriend at.
>nausea

>>31678897
The Jews.

my girlfriend of 1 year says her depressed brain requires her to try doing different stuff to see if she's still capable of feeling alive, and her current "need" is meeting up with this guy who's had a crush on her for years, getting high, and "seeing where things go"
she assures me she's happy with our relationship, sees a future for us, and wouldn't leave me, she just HAS TO go see this guy, and it can't be a rando at a party, it has to be this fucking dude for some reason
and she's mad 'cause I'm not happy about that

>>31678086
He brought a lot of that on himself and I'm not convinced he's a good guy. Here's him lying about his past and being a bit of a dick back during his first run for president back in 1988. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1j0FS0Z6ho

i know looking for god on 4chan is like sifting through sand for water but here it is anyway

if there is even a single chance that I'm not some delusional faggot, have him come back to me. please

>>31675461
Especially given the last stressful few weeks, it was quite surreal wandering through a nearly empty airport with every screen showing 'recovery', 'recovery', 'recovery' in blue. It almost was comforting: here's the worst that could possibly happen, and this time it wasn't our fault.

They just offered me a $100 voucher ... for a $600 cancelled flight, which cost $1500 to replace during peak volume, which was delayed three times... fuck them. I don't care if I'm rich. I will get every last cent, in cash, if I have to tear it from their throats in a class-action.

>>31679084
I truly believe delta is going to lose their CEO over this.

>>31679048
it's in your best interest to dump her immediately. nothing good is going to come of this for you.

>>31679048
That is wack

Im excited for the future, for once in a long time

>>31679048
if this is real leave her now

I sometines dont know how to act when I get excited. I want to jump up and down, dance around and squeel... but feel like I have to keep the mystery up

>>31679119
>>31679137
she's not normally like this, I think she's panicking and sabotaging the relationship due to her self-destructive tendencies, which are usually kept in check by medication but she recently switched dosages

she'll hone in on a specific thing I say to try and act insulted that I would suggest she's doing something awful and selfish, and it's actually her brain making her do these things and she's gotta follow what the brain says, and it's not about me at all, it's between her and her shitty brain

and it just sounds like she wants permission out of pity, and that actually she was nice to say she was gonna do this instead of going behind my back and lying, like that's gonna make it all ok

I don't know if I have it in me right now to end things, I just love her so much, and when she's on adequate medication it just gets so much better and easier

but hearing this just sucks so much

she's being irrational and she can't even see it, she's good at tricking herself into believing what she's doing isn't only ok, it's the right thing to do, she can't see what she's risking, what she has to lose, her brain tells her the immediate want is more important than our future together

>>31679192
ive dated problems like this and if it works it works but i think you are prolonging the inevitable

No bro its totally cool and not strange that after getting addicted to porn you lied to doctors to become the ugliest woman of all time that has nothing to do with why we don't want to hang

>>31679417
Perhaps ghosting is acceptable sometimes.

i dont know how to feel right know im just overwhelmed in every aspect of my life and i no longer have anywhere to run i havent given up yet but i fear my body might from the stress.

I started throwing up again :(

I was so stressed that I threw up, but now I just feel guilty. As if it's all my fault anyway.

>>31679534
>>31679543
>>31679548
it happens..you'll get sick and get a stress hangover and be forced to start coolin down. what's wrong?

My life is so fucking shit I wasted all summer doing literally nothing I didn't do jackshit I could've done a month's progress of something and next semester I'm gonna be so behind because I lucked out waaaay too fucking much last semester and I learned basically nothing in a couple of courses. I'm still skinnyfat and ugly and can't drive and didn't get a job. I fucking hate myself.

>>31679569
i dont have a license and am ugly. working on it too. and im old.

It’s like she knows she’s torturing me and enjoys it

>>31679594
kinda sounds like you enjoy it too.

>>31678910
I use a wireless keyboard that has optional usb connection or bluetooth, and a wireless mouse, but you have a lot of options for wired ones still. Every fucking printer I look at it wireless ONLY and it drives me up the wall

My life is going well. I just wish I had more confidence.

Hopefully I sleep with the girl I'm dating this weekend, or at least makeout and cuddle. I really want us to take it to the next level, but I have trouble initiating intimacy

Also my therapist for adhd says she thinks I have autism

>>31679626
I just like any attention and chasing the carrot on a string, because I’m a lonely retard

>>31679696
You know, I was this way for a dozen years anon. A dozen years. I had a ton of fun doing it, but I do wish that I had made some sort of positive lasting assets and skills for myself. But I'm glad that I had the opportunity to teamkill in csgo ttt, and blow bases up in factions, and get admin on teamspeak only to ddos, and spam gore, and join in on raids, and so on. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

>>31672593
I don’t care about other people anymore. Ive been shut out passively by this world like so many others and if the world is indifferent to us, and our suffering. Fuck em.

Thats how the world got so fucked up everybody wants crawl a little further out of the bucket.

Spread rumours about you at work, smile at you with a shit eating grin when they talk to you, thinking your too stupid to see whats going on.

Idk anymore. I always told myself when I was 19 it would all work out if I exercised went to therapy and school.

Its all a lie. Nobody is going to save us, they all want your wallet.

>>31679726
pretty much but it's nice feeling part of a tribe. a tribe sees itself as a singular crab.

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I unfriended multiple people on Steam after I hadn't chatted to them in months and then realized at least one of them still wanted to be friends, and I was the one who had left that friend unanswered for that period. Now I'm having my regularly scheduled "Am I the Asshole" panic attack about the other people even though I've been ghosted in the past on multiple occasions for far less.
Why the fuck do I care so much about random strangers that will probably not reach out and that I definitely won't see in real life?

>>31679726
Dog eat dog world NIGGER. The yews run the show so might as well accept that the matrix is real and escaping it is only by going through it EG get stupid fucking rich. Watch these RapeApe jannies ban me for giving real advice but this is the realest blackest advice you will ever get, it's so black even the tomato pickers say "negro que si" as they hear it. its below hex #000000 its so n holy shit.

>>31679763
Theres no translate option for Literal Retard on google translate.

Could you try to manually translate that to english?

>>31679673
I have faith in you!
Push her hair behind her ear and see if that starts something. Sweet physical contact

>>31679763
Uhh actually your black so. doesnt matter

Got out of hospital on Monday and am not allowed to drive for a bit, not that I want to in this state. Ordered some hot food on uber from a place 5 minutes up the road. Cunt takes 50 minutes to deliver it. It's cold and soggy of course. Uber goes uwu sowwy here's a refund for your order and refunds me $10 for a $50 order, then goes "we refunded you already" when I went hey what the fuck? Now they're ignoring me. This is great. I have medical bills and a bunch of inedible soggy food and I can barely walk to the toilet without feeling like I'm about to vomit all my organs out.

>>31679751
I feel ya anon. It's a case of "I hate it when it happens to me, I never want to do it to others" and yet when they ghost you you still feel responsible. Other people are allowed to make mistakes. Not me though, I'm just by default a horrible person, that's why everyone discards me the second I don't perfectly obey their orders to pay for things. I just need to try harder right? If I was just good enough, if I was just a better person, right? I have to figure out what I can do to make up for the fact that I'm me. I don't think I ever can.

>>31672593
NEED TO GET HELLA RACKETS IN MY POCKET FIL ME FINNA RUN UP DEE BAN NIGG. RREEEAL SHIT IN THIS BITCH zZzzzzz SLEEPING ON THE OPPS ITS SO EASY BROS TO WIN IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GOTTA DO AND YOU GOT THE WAR PLAN READY N SHIT RRREEEEEEALLLLLL SHITTTT

>>31679773
Thank you

I feel a lot of pressure at the moment

>>31679790
>I have to figure out what I can do to make up for the fact that I'm me. I don't think I ever can.
It's taken me a long time to appreciate how much of what I would normally consider my personality is just different maladaptive responses to being rejected by people.

>>31672593
gosh, someone who I actually have really strong feelings for told me "love you" most likely in a friend way. They didn't explicitly tell me in a friend way, but it didn't seem like a confession.

Absolutely emotionally destroyed me inside. I do appreciate it though because their friendship is important to me.

today will be another shitshow.
not looking forward to the half-hour meeting where all the leaders verbally pleasure themselves in front of the rest of us to make themselves look good.
yesterday was a bit busier than expected - 2.5 hours of work. eh. it still felt pretty empty as most of it was in the morning.
today should definitely be lighter; an hour isn't out of the question (and that includes the 'meeting').

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ok so presemt situation with trannies has me in a pickle.
about a year ago i made a crossdressing costume (i passed well enough to confuse people and i think it was a good costume, fun to make)
but i now privated the image because i do not want to be asociated with whatever the fuck is happening in the west right now, and now it crossed my mind that this privating of the image might make people think i'm lord knows what.

i had my phase growing up but looking back it was just so damn pathetic, made me do things i regret dearly and that make me lose sleep at night and i do not want to be seen as some kind of predator when it's the opposite.

My friends don't care, but idk what new people i meet would think scrolling down. I make costumes, anyways, and i don't see how this could be wrong in any way but idk man people have cut me off over dumber shit

>>31680133
for context crossdressing is i guess so-so a normal thing in my country, right time right place type of thing, and recently with the weird tranny shit in the US it's started becoming shunned even by space commie types and idk man in general there is this hard shift to no-fun-allowed culture.
i would never just go out like that i am not fucking stupid

>>31679871
It's all so tiring. "be yourself!" No one likes me as myself because I tell them to stop bullying our clients (I work in disability and aged care) or that no I'm not going to drive you 40 minutes to a friend and come back in two hours to pick you up like I'm your father. "Tell me about your interests" and I try to engage them in a talk about native plants and ask questions about their own garden or if they've been to so and so garden in town, I'll take you there one day and pay your entry to show you it! No. Ok, you mentioned having a lot of pets, I'm a zoo member and volunteer- oh, no? You work in medical administration, I work in health too- ah, I need to not mansplain things because I'll never really get it, ok.

I don't try anymore. I just tend to my small garden, take care of the two kittens I adopted, go into the zoo once a week to read in the aviary, and now and then I'll go to some event and try and make friends only to realise they only care about me spending money on them and driving them places, they don't actually want me to talk or have opinions.

>>31678912
Just doesn’t feel right. Why shouldn’t I feel bad?

>>31679871
>>31680181
Fuck you niggers, goddamn
NTA but I needed to read this bad, I stress and stress and stress so much not realizing how little others do the same to justify such self-hatred.
I hope y’all can find people who don’t suck because I’ve found some at least. Esp u gardenanon you sound very cool and considerate and I think I would prefer someone like you as a friend.

>>31680289
Thanks anon. I swear for all that gloom in my posts I'm pretty content with my place in life. I have a stable roof over my head, higher education I'm interested in pursuing, hobbies that don't require other people but certainly can be group activities, I even get to cheat a little in that my house is on the same power grid as a hospital so I never have to worry about long black outs when I'm stuck housebound due to health reasons. It'd be nice to have other people IRL to share things with but if that's not meant to be I guess that's that. I keep my heart and mind open but I'm a lot more guarded now, and allow myself to be angry or bitter about things. It's frustrating to feel lonely yet I am far more healthy mentally and emotionally for letting myself feel it and acknowledge it. Of course I'm extremely biased in saying so: you should check your area for local boatnic gardens or community gardens! Especially if you're under 50, the seniors love having "young folk" around, they call one of our 40 year old regulars a kid haha, I'm practically a toddler to them at 32

>dad scolded mom for comparing my sister to other girls
>paid an extremely expensive private school for her while my ass was study with a shitty public school
>proceeded to do the same shit to me
>”I don’t have a favorite child”
You alcoholic piece of shit abandon me when I was 5. You let your aunt raised me while you raised my sister. Then, whenever we meet, you pull shit like this.
Fuck you, and your favoritism.
My sister is cute, so I will never hate her though.

I gotta stop giving myself so much shit over this job. I'm doing good and I need to get out of my own head and stop thinking that everyone is out to get me.

>>31680377
Al-Anon
l
A
n
o
n


(not AA. not what i’m talking about)

also Adult Children of Alcholics

>>31680896
Sometimes they DO be out to get you THOUGH

When I was kid in 2nd or 3rd grade my supposed class friends screwed me over and didn’t kept a promise and didn’t invite me to a trip or birthday party. My revenge was I made fake treasure map and split the map between fake friends. Assholes dug supposedly for an hour in rain, returned next day saying there’s nothing and I assured them it’s real and if they don’t want it I’ll take it back. Overal kept the ruse for 3 days and afterwards said: “Yeah, it’s fake. It wasn’t about the destination, but your friendship journey”. Was I petty little shit because kids pretended to be my friends?

Where did everyone go? Why do my usual boards feel like ads in ghost towns? Where are my schizos at?

When I was younger I'd get this nervous sick feeling when I spoke to any girl I liked. I thought it would go away in time because this was a new experience to me, but it never did. Every girl I spoke to that I liked it was always the same. It stopped me from being able to eat, to really be able to do anything except think about them. Sometimes when I woke up on a morning I wouldn't have the feeling and think I was "cured" but that was just because it's those couple of seconds after waking and you aren't fully with it. Then I'd think of them and the nervous feeling would immediately come back and last the rest of the day. It's such a horrible feeling that in the end I just stopped talking to girls I liked.
I'd always had a nervous feeling in general but it was amplified by talking to girls I liked. After a few years of not talking to them the general nervous feeling went away. I couldn't even remember what it felt like having it. Then not so long ago through coincidence I started talking to a girl I liked. The first few days were fine and I actually felt happy. Then the feeling came back and it hasn't left. I thought I was over this. I thought I was maybe somehow new. But I'm the same fucking loser I've always been and always will be.

>>31680908
Allanon the Druid?

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I went to a local Smash tournament yesterday because I want to improve my social skills. Since I'm a casual Smasher I thought this would be easy, but man, my social skills are even worse than I thought. I felt extremely awkward any time I was on a one-to-one conversation. You know that feeling you have when you feel more like a nuisance? Well, that's how I felt.

Honestly you confuse the hell out of me with all the seemingly contradictory facets of your personality, but it doesn’t make me like you any less

Every time I go on Grindr I feel dejected. Everyone just seems way out of my league in every way. It just feels hopeless. I don't think I'll ever have sex

>>31680896
I seriously need to make some changes to my life. I really think I should go talk to a doctor and have a serious discussion about anti anxiety drugs.
Serious question, I vape weed on a daily basis (after work/important home tasks). Is this rasing my anxiety levels? Is there a chance that there may still be some weed in my system in the morning that is contributing to my anxiety?

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On one hand I want to get back into reading the works of some of the greatest novelists of the early 20th century, to return to exploring philosophical essays like Becker's "Denial of Death" and Terror Management Theory, to resume my ventures into various historical periods that I wrote several lengthy essays on in university, and to explore topics new to me like trains and the deep sea. On the other hand after a long day's work I just want to sit in my underwear and watch formulaic anime and YouTube compilations, occasionally replay some video games, and look at a nice pair of tiddies from time to time. The absurdity of man. I wonder what Becker or Camus would say about this situation? A bottomless curse, a bottomless sea, accepting of all that there is and can be.

I didn’t download babbel or throw banana or keep the dog picure on the wall or craft the whole bag myself.

I love and hate my gf of 4 1/2 years

Love
>consider her as my best friend and it's the first woman that I feel truly comfortable being myself
>is physically attractive
>is as immature/goofy as me
>finds my autism outbursts funny
>generally have matching interests
>she never yelled/flaked/bitched at me, never had mood swings
>generally low maintenance and doesn't have expensive tastes, lives frugally
>she's not dumb, can hold a conversation and I'm proud to be around her in social settings
>although not without issues, she has a loving and caring family
>has the same environnemental/climate change awareness as me
>never once questionned her loyalty
>have the same general lifestyle
>we both were losers when we were younger/high school so we relate about lots of things
Hate
>the worst sex of my life and I've never been able to truly say how I feel. She's very awkward, doesn't ooze sensuality and is a starfish in bed. We rarely have sex anymore
>has the most dead end job ever (kinesiologist), barely makes enough to survive on her own and went back to school to do another dead end degree with no viable career path
>she had 6 different jobs since I've known her and never stops complaining
>I'm 31 and she's about to be 35 and can't give me a straight answer if she wants kids or not
>is a horse girl
>she's a rabid feminist...until it's time to pay which I 90% of the time pay the bill
>"you're first boyfriend to ever treat me this way" type of girl, she used to date lots of deadbeats/losers because she's had self esteem issues
>she wants marriage to "protect herself", her name on the house (bought and renovated my house before I met her), hates the neighborhood we live in and wants to move further away. It will triple my commuting time from 20min to 1h at the very least
>doesn't want to make "motherly sacrifices" and wants to continue travelling for her job and if she were ever to want children it would be 1 at most when I never hid the fact that I wanted more 1/2

I see a lot of "How to Stop Being a Manchild" vids on youtube and most of them are just "STOP HAVING FUN GUYS".

Lost 25 pounds, still 80 to go before I'm human.

>>31682568
2/2

>she said before she met me she never wanted to have children but now that she's with me, she's thinking about it. It honestly feels she would make me a child only for me to be happy while she doesn't want to take care of the child
>with her previous conditions about marriage/name on the house (I'm far wealthier than her), it feels like she wants mostly my money as she would never be able to make what I make and never be able to buy her "dream home ranch in the countryside". By divorcing me, she'd have enough money to make this dream come true and although I never questionned her loyalty, she does come off this way
>very messy, her cat + carpets + her hair is just too much
>lazy and always has some physical issues like her hip/glutes/foot and greatly limits what kind of activities we do together
>likes to travel even though she's extremely tight in her budget and I see no way for her to improve her financial situation in the coming years
>I have lots of family pressure to have kids and they don't really like her

I've had lots of friends chiming in about my situation and although they like her a lot, they said that her financial requests and the fact that she's not thrilled talking about kids is not a match with me. I don't know what to do. I truly love her and I think I just chose to ignore these huge issues over the years because I felt comfortable. I don't have success dating and I don't think I'll find better as my best years are behind me

I can never tell when you're busy or when you're just ignoring me

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Thinking about the time I fumbled a curvy asian qt who got off to loli

>>31673139
>get her number
How did anon make her numb in the first place? Marijuana? Novocain? Should I be concerned?

I miss having my tits sucked.

Welp. Turns out bf wants to apply for a Phd scholarship in Australia. He's leaving for 4 years... at least.

He's happy. I should be happy. Maybe I shouldnt be thinking that its over.

Im going to root for him and push him to his best, but I cant hide the fact that it makes me fucking sad because that's a coin tossed in the air. Spinning for 4 years, for our relationship. I know I wont find anybody else, im a fucking introvert and barely have any friends (we share the same like 10 friends) which I knew thanks to him lmao.

He's an extrovert. He makes friends wherever he goes, and he's attractive and very charismatic. So I guess there's that.

I know he needs this. I have my businesses and Im doing fine, he's a teacher with a masters degree (we have the same masters), and he never got to finish his phd where we live. I think he still needs to fulfill his dream, and for that reason I wish he gets accepted. Even if it means we might be over.

I love him. I wish we could grow old together.

I guess we'll have to wait for the coin to fall and stop spinning.

i came across aggressive and non-conforming in a work meeting by accident. Should I unalive myself? im not sure i can get a job this good again and am now afraid i fucked up office politics and my life is ruined. i hate how insincere society is. don't ask opinions if you dont want them.

>>31682902
I’ve been there done this
Where I live people are generally more reserved about their opinions so worst case they talked shit about me behind my back but it didn’t affect my job
Depending on job security in your line of work you’re probably fine and overthinking it, at least you’re self aware about the fuck up

>>31682902
Depending on the situation I've always done it more like
>Listen to some stupid idea that needs feedback
>Tell them their idea is a good one, but [honest feedback]
Or tweak their idea until it's gradually nothing like what they envisioned. If it's someone with more authority than me I'll let them take the credit. Otherwise they look like a spanner and have the ability to make things worse for you.
If it's someone else I just tell them their idea is retarded. Especially if I'm in a bad mood.

i've made a lot of mistakes that seem life ending although they arent the worst things in the world but i don't know how to cope and keep living. i've said n word on video and something else i don't want to say. it feels like i have no future if any of this gets out and idk how to keep living. my life is already not the greatest aside from these mistakes because of autism social skills, midwit iq, and subhuman looks but now i feel like i have no hope. any advice??

>>31682921
i dunno i think it might be fine and time will heal it but i know i fucked up. im a good worker and it's a very obscure skillset that takes like months or a year even to get good at, but it's also not very transferable

>>31682974
same i have no place in the western world

>>31682967
yeah i had a meeting right when i started and was pumped on caffeine and frustrated and i fucked up so bad. im just never going to talk again and just exist there til it's over if i dont get fired or something.

I'm gonna mind my own business from now on

>>31683015
same, i hope my life isn't ruined, just let people think and say what they want i realize

>>31683002
Yeah I wouldn't let it get to you. Everyone has been there so they know what it's like too when you're amped and already fucked off.

>>31683029
i hope so they seem understanding and i think they basically admitted i was right but basically every authority figure in the world is like "if you just listen to me and do exactly as i say everything will be perfect and communism can work, just don't play any politics or try to optimize your situation to your benefit" and if you point out that's flawed reasoning and you cant just make people do that you now have a spotlight on you as a dissenter and get the gulag even if you're the only real communist there and just wanted the system to actually work properly

>>31683098
god i hope my life isn't ruined and they don't try to slave drive me into the fucking ground. i actually get average to above average work done and am a greenhorn essentially.

I'm done trying to fit in with traditional masculinity. I might do strength training but that's the extent of it. Trying to change the way I dress and giving up on my "childish" and "unmasculine" interests gives me suicide ideation and body dysmorphia. If a woman isn't attracted to me for not fitting the mold then fuck it. I'm an INFP bi autist and I'm tired of trying to mentally lobotomize myself. I just wanna free myself of these stupid gender roles and norms, this pain is entirely self-inflicted at this point. If I run into a woman that accepts me than that's great but I'm tired of feeling suicidal cause I don't fit into the mold. Fuck I'm so afraid of the ideation coming back, I'm feeling okay right now but I really don't want it to come back.

>>31683132
i relate, i think i hate my hair loss mostly not because i cant look good and kill it bald and beared and buff as some caricature but because the only way i can be attractive now is to not be myself. Rock and a hard place.

>>31683132
Dude you need to calm the fuck down. I am a prancing lala man and I can find women. No one likes anyone that can't b urself

>>31683171
twink death comes for us all

>>31673755
Would you recommend any in particular anon? I'm always looking for books to read but I can never manage to commit to one.

>>31682829
It always leads to more. Sometimes I just want to suck some tits and go to sleep.

>>31672593
I haven't spoken to or seen my parents for a while and what motivated me secretly to keep going was that I would end up facing them one day and I can genuinely tell them to fuck off. I say I want to be better for myself but in reality it's all out of spite to one up them. I saw my mother again and she seemed "normal" apparently finding God again and making peace with lots of things. I told her to fuck off. I said a lot of other things that instantly soured the mood and she turned into a hateful bitch again. But after thinking for a long time on the things I'd say and how I wanted to make her cry when she left it didn't feel good. Not because I felt remorse for what I said but because it didn't feel satisfying enough and didn't do justice to what I wanted to say.

I guess I gotta move out. I wish I could keep up with my chores man

I guess I have to accept that maybe I won't get it all done

>>31683170
Sorry anon. If I lost my hair I would be in the exact same position as you.
>>31683171
This gives me hope, thanks anon.

>>31683627
yeah it's tough but i used to be feminine, sensitive, artistic type and lots of cute girls liked it. they still like it just dont know that's the kinda man i am and the women that think they like me realize im not a bluecollar lumberjack thinking about motorcycles all day.

I desperately want your feedback, but what if your feedback is that its middling or even bad?

I just want you to want me the way I want you.

Why is Grindr so dead? I’ve been craving big black cock in my round ass for days… HELP!

>>31679594
yes.

>>31682651
I don't have the life experience to give you advice but good luck anon.

>>31682651
F not that it changes anything but you are essentially living whatever dream she has, not whatever hopes/dreams/aspirations you have. You have to decide what is more important, and when you make your decision, yeah it will be risky, whether you stay with her and give up on some things, or leave her to try to pursue your goals/hopes. You are a bit older than me, but I regret giving up dreams for a deadbeat guy, and now I personally wouldn't get into a relationship that would completely shit on my goals.

i think i m lowkey cooked guys. ex came back after 3 years telling me that she missed me, she was surprised when i texted her back. she broke up several months ago from a depressing and disappointing relationship, i had no feelings towards that as our love went away in those 3 years but i was still surprised out to find that she hasn't forgot me and stuff. i had no intent to pursue her back, we live in different cities now and that would be impossible, different jobs, different careers. after 2 weeks of talking i told her that i would like to meet her for a coffee/drink for the old times sake and several days later i got ghosted. i don't know if she has done that due to fear or due to the fact that she received some attention and validation and then decided to left again. i m thinking about leaving a last message asking her why she decided to come back and stir shit up just to leave without any reason. i ve recently broke up with somebody due to emotional incompatibilities, i'm in no mood to get her back, but this messed me up a little bit, we've had some good convos and she basically decided to left me on read one day. thoughts? thank you

>>31683842
english isn't my first language so please exuse me for repeating the i don t wanna get her back line

>>31672740
ye actually

>>31672593
I have a problem. I can't speak up when someone is rude to me in person or when I am upset at something that someone has done to me. I just shut down and then go home and obsess over it for years. I always feel like I should have said or done something, and that feeling just kills me.

I think it harkens back to not having good examples of healthy disagreements in public. My father was a nutcase: he'd either yell at waiters or come back home and take it out of my mum and me. My mother never stood up for herself against my father. I tried to stand up against my father but he always physically and verbally abused me wherever I stood up to something wrong he had done to me. It's somehow taught me to never stand up for myself and just take bad behavior directed at me.

How do I really understand what's going on with me, and how can I fix it?

>>31683842
In my opinion it's better just to ignore

Don't follow up and move on. I think you're right that she got the validation she wanted, that she can still get a coffee date out of you 3 years later

I have a lot of trauma - from parents, childhood, and a past relationship - and I'm scared of it fucking up my new relationship. Maybe not now, because despite having to be long distance and contrary to how I've been in previous relationships, I actually feel very secure right now. My boyfriend is very sweet and attentive and genuine, I haven't felt the need to fish for reassurance that he likes me, because he shows it regularly. But I still have that terror that eventually, I'm going to start getting triggered or something, and he'll realize I'm too fucked up to be around and leave me. I usually shut down instead of lash out, at least, I guess.

>>31684108
most men just don't leave or stop loving their partners unironically even if we cheat. im not making excuses for cheating im just saying.

>>31684129
I will never cheat, have never cheated. We've both been cheated on, I would never do that to someone, let alone him.
I'm good at owning up to my problems and apologizing genuinely, but surely instability of my mental state in response to a behavior or language of his that triggers an old wound that has little to do with him, adds up and takes a toll, or makes our relationship unbalanced...do men want to feel like they're often having to emotionally monitor or soothe a partner?

>>31682288
Anon, you'll get better the more you do it. Try to keep that awareness you may be a nuisance but refine it better to actually recognise when you're being intrusive versus your brain goblins telling you you're worthless. I help organise FGC meet ups and work with the artists who table at them, everyone goes there with a basic expectation that we're all autistic weirdos in our own way, if you shower and check in if somesone has a bracket they need to get to so you know to shut up and let them go, you're doing fine.

>>31684108
I know this struggle. I've gotten my paranoia a bit more under control over the years but I still have my moments of destroying relationships and isolating if I don't keep an eye on myself. I find that writing things down physically, and having physical reminders of my friends - whether it's something they've bought/mailed to me or that I print out and put on my wall/in a journal - helps with this a lot. Your brain has a harder time gaslighting you into thinking all your memories of happiness or contentment are fake if you have physical things you can touch and move around.

You don't have to tell him everything, but if when you feel those days of fear or low energy, make sure to let him know it has nothing to do with him. If possible try to see if there is something he can do or you can do with/for him to help you through those moments, or if it's better to just let you process it for a few hours/the day. Everyone has bad days, everyone has moments of low energy and aren't really up for any sort of human interaction. He'll understand if he's worth staying with.

>>31682288
smash tournament sounds awesome tho. alao yeah you can get better. i suck too anymore socially.
>>31684217
ive been cheated on and cheated when i was in high school but wouldn't do it again ever but understand if the universe is going to punish me for that forever, it seems. some men like nurturing. some think it's annoying. i think nurturers are more common. i love holding my gfs and comforting them and confirming my feelings if it makes them feel better. it makes me feel good to think my feelings towards them matter so much.

>>31682288
Do you have to be really invested in the community and meta in order to socialize at one of these? Thinking about getting into Melee casually and I'm not interested in following the community or top players.

Gf is gonna let her anxiety win and not text me
We're probably not gonna make it

>>31684223
Thank you anon, having a physical reminder is a great idea. I do journal and keep notes of the kindnesses he shows me and that's been helping. Thank you for the advice.

>>31684242
He is definitely a "nurturer/protector" type. I also like knowing that confirming my feelings for someone makes them feel better, so it makes sense he would feel that way too. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

>>31672593
I miss my dead friend. His gf sent me some of his songs he wrote and I just listened to them and I just want to lay on the floor and cry. He played some of them for me and I had heard them before. Now the audio is all I have of him. Fuck man. RIP man.

Fuck this gay earth. Fuck opioids. Fuck everything. I hate it all.

>>31684406
mhm i miss being that someone every day i am not. i like to think when i die God will flash a movie reel of every person i ever helped online with an orchestra in the background, and then I will return to The Nobody. Peace.

>>31684419
And i can’t even imagine what it’s like for his Gf. For his mother that screamed and cried to me on the phone when we told her he was dead after we found him. I feel like everyone he knew is harboring this massive crater of grief and sadness and I don’t know what to do besides let it hurt. Fuck our stupid baka lives.

>>31684460
i would offer advice but i just tend to distance myself from addicts since my mother was one.

>>31684474
Me too, but he didn’t tell me he was an addict before he moved into my house. Then i found him dead. FUCKING KEK. World is a cruel one. I dont make hanging out with addicts a hobby.

Chi-chi, I am sick and tired of your poison algae rabies seal swatting. Be nice.

>>31684419
>>31684460
I had an art homie. They didn't die but they did cut contact. Hurts, doesn't it?

Why the fuck do they make it so hard to commit suicide? I just want out, but my shithole state wants to make getting a gun as tedious as they legally can and google is certainly supressing good info on how to use the exit bag method.

>>31684487
open a joke that alludes you do hard drugs. works every time.

>>31684521
you can die after the last bit of value has been squeezed from you.
Think of life in modern society like a hamster wheel. The only way to improve your life is to give to the rulership, and your reward will be a lottery ticket.

>>31684537
Interesting. I have just been outright asking potential new roommates “hey, no hard drugs in this house, yeah?” which uh… probably counterintuitive?

>>31684553
exactly

>>31684521
Just bind your time and nature will commit suicide for you. You must cherish life.

>>31684567
can you phrase/give an example of a hard drug user joke that i could test the waters with? not my forte.

>>31684580
"so you like to have a little fun or are you a cop?" "do you like to party? like party party?" shit like that. whatever you can do to make them think you're someone they don't have to hide it from. literally just say "i don't even care about hard drugs and think all drugs should be legal, like people should be able to do what they want!" lol

>>31684602
>so you like to have a little fun or are you a cop?
I would literally never let this utterance leave my mouth because I am not fucking retarded. The rest may do, though. Thanks.

>>31684607
if you deliver it post-post-sarcastically it works

I'm 2 years away from being a wizard. After so many years of sexual abuse at the hands of my father and a conga line of humiliating social failures, I think I'm just damaged goods. I only have my mom and brother as I have no friends and the rest of my family hates me.

>>31684537
This is retarded. While you may well expose hard drug users who think you're cool, you'll also alienate non hard drug using roommates because naturally they wouldn't wanna room with a druggie, which is what you're LARPing as

>had a condom a friend of mine gave me as a joke sitting around in my wallet for years JIC it finally happens
>try it out
>doesn't fit
I was walking around with a cock-block in my pocket and didn't even know it. I also don't know how to feel about discovering I'm potentially way bigger than my friend.

>>31684633
i think i can pull it off. you're trying to be ambiguous yourself. also im not opening this with strangers at the bar, but a roommate? heh. nice try bud.
>teleports behind you

I just texted my mom "I got you a nice cock"

Autocorrected from clock. Fantastic.

>>31684636
Some brands are just smaller than others. I can't use durex because they are way too small. I can only use Trojan.

Things happened today that I wish hadn't. I'm not torn up or depressed about them but still.
I visited my mother and saw she had thrown out a toy. A child had puked on it and it had plush parts so there wasn't any saving it, but just seeing it in the garbage made me upset for some reason. While driving a bird flew into the road, I moved to go around it but it flew right into my path and I ended up hitting it. And then finally when I went to make a meal I had been looking forward to for a week I messed up half of it and had to restart, messed up the second time, and found I was missing one of the ingredients

i think every time someone posts "looks aren't the most important factor in dating" we should all just bust on them and say "LOL THIS PERSON'S PARTNER IS UGLY AS SHIT THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT LOOKS" or something like that

Most of you who think you are losers who will never get anywhere are both a prisoner and your own prison guard. You are keeping yourselves in this situation because it has become your norm and it keeps you in a perversely painful comfort zone. Until you snap out of it and cut the bullshit with yourself, you will never be free. But once you realise this and take appropriate steps, you will be free from it anytime you want. When you reach that point is anybody's guess, though.

>>31684631
I'm about 3 months away. I have no real excuse, just very shy, antisocial and closeted.

I'd say that you should just focus on improving other aspects of your life and finding some people you'll be comfortable around, but can't say it has helped me.

>Just found out I missed being 6ft by about half an inch
I feel like Tom Cruise. I'm sure I'm shrinking.

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HELP!

On average, how many times a week do you see your SO?

I only see my girlfriend who is only 6 minutes away once a week, sometimes once every two weeks

All my friends say that's normal for a relationship, is it, though? We both work full time.

>>31684894
That’s not normal. Your friends are being gentle.

My balls hurt from cumming so much today

Also get so moody after masturbating

>>31684936
Hahaha degenerate

Aight bitch, whatever

Just know it’s not because you’re so cool or hot or smart or interesting that I’m so obsessed with you, it’s just that I’m really really pathetic and lonely

My legs still ain’t fixed I see

>>31685029
Stop kidding yourself. I'm all of those things.

City is on fire again

This never used to happen. it’s all that faggot Trudeaus fault

>>31685020
No you're the bitch

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>>31684936
It’s low t you should feel energy after sexual release not malaise

Eat more red meat pic rel

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>>31685100
He’s a bitch ass bitch

>>31684775
What if looks don’t matter but they’re hot as shit

>>31685088
>>31685120
>>31685125
>>31685139
Are you having a schizophrenic episode mate?

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If you pipe these in reverse it stops counting and you get free utilities. You have to pipe it so the display is still outwardly visible but that is totally doable

I don't get the people that say people can't be friends with teenagers. Teens and young adults have more in common than you think. I guess you're just not cool enough for them.

>>31685149
Not at the moment no

>>31685154
Yeah about that. Found a discord friend about three months ago. Really good at art. Posted on /ic/. Turns out they're 15. Do I ghost em? I like them(not like that) and they give helpful art tips.

>>31685169
Nope. If you're not a creep it's okay.

>>31685154
i hung out with old people young. they taught me a lot. i think it's good though u understand the fear of predators. i'd even like to have old old people as friends now.

>>31685169
my best friend was like 18 when i met him online and i was like 28. it's cooler he's 21+ now tho ngl.

>>31685188
Alright, cool. Given his talent, he'll probably be the one to ghost me, but until then it's artbro time.

>>31685192
I agree

It’s going to be even cooler tomorrow than it was supposed to be because the smoke is blotting out the sun
Not worth the breathing problems. Fucking stupid arsonists

A few years back I was ill and got a catheter. I didn't fap for about 2 months after the catheter was removed. When I did it was more like a pathetic dribble when I cum and didn't even feel good. I didn't even get the euphoric post nut sensation.
Ever since then it's been the same with the exception of maybe twice. I'm not sure if I'm retrograde ejaculating and it's psychosomatic or if they fucked me up with the catheter and it's because of that.

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I'm a schizoid NEET. Usually when people say this, they mostly mean they're loners, but my brain is in such a state that I can't focus or put stress on it at all or I give myself very severe insomnia. So recently I wanted to get into tekken, and it's fun, but every single time I "lock in" I'm losing about an hour of sleep. Last year this got so bad that I began losing huge amounts of hair from my head, and I had to give up all of my hobbies except 4chan and youtube to recover.

If I want to have any hobbies at all, I must achieve the 24/7 concentration and peace of mind of a monk. I cannot tense up my body or mind at all, I can never get frustrated, I can never try to force out a win. Right now I've slept about 7 hours across the past 2 days and it's gonna be another sleepless night. I'm not really sure what to do now except spend my days meditating

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im eating the ham fuck you

hope you get cheated on and then I can laugh

so much ham

i cant even throw my frustrations into this void because knowing my luck somebody from my family would click a scam email land here and somehow connect the dots stirring up even mroe drama in my life

cant fucking have anything

>>31685544
you ever tried getting pissed and eating one of those supermarket packets of black forest ham?
no guarantees but idk try it

>>31684281
I guess it depends. The locals in my city are very casual.

>>31672593

I had 7 spots on my skin biopsied for skin cancer today. I'll get the results in a month. It will be what it'll be... but damn. I don't want to have cancer. I don't want to die young.

From 10-25 my exit plan was always to sign off from life by 27... but now I'm 30 and shit, I actually like living. I love my life. I love what the future could hold. What if could hold if I'm not sick.

My grandfather died from skin cancer before I was born. He was a raging alcoholic who likely hadn't been to a doctor since he was born. One day he crashed his car because he couldn't see suddenly, and that's how they found out he had skin cancer - it spread to his eyes. He died within a week in the hospital, according to my dad, "crying for his momma".

I don't want to be him. I got sober at 25 and got my life together. I got to the doctor's regularly and take care of myself. When I was getting the biopsies today I couldn't stop thinking about him. He didn't have to die that way, but he did.

I hope I don't have to die like him.

I know I'm overly emotional now and I know it's just part of the process. I'm on top of this stuff. But god, that shit scared me.

yeah its not healthy to constantly drift off into elaborate escapist fantasy

How did you escape my dreams?
How is it that heaven yet eludes you?

>>31685669
youll be fine
gramps never saw a doctor but you did so you can stop it before its bad

>>31685687
Thanks man, I appreciate it.

>>31685669
it's like the easiest cancer to fix i think. good luck. also technology is getting better. i am also worried about my health a lot. skin cancer checkup is on my to do list.

>>31685544
Nobody comes to 4chan dude. Nobody will see this and know its you.

>>31685673
Naw, it'll be fine

Anyone else hate their co-workers? I fucking despise mine. I make minimum wage but everyone has started to rely on me to do so much, anytime I call out sick or request days off its met with a sarcastic remark or them bitching about how they have nobody to cover.

They never seem to do this when anybody else calls out and don’t seem to care that every other person my age has 4 days off a week for college I only have 1 fucking day off a week and they absolutely refuse to budge on giving me another day off.

One of them is also well liked by everyone but hes a gigantic fucking prick most of the time and when I asked another coworker out he went out of his way to tell everyone even the like boomer store managers (shut up about not asking coworkers out that only applies to jobs you plan to stick with) but ok whatever who cares except not only that he then fucking made up a story about me making her in the sims and told it to her so now she thinks I like made a sim of her. He also acts like a fucking know it all and gives dogshit advice.

My direct boss is also 30 fucking minutes late every day because she stops for starbucks and breakfast then she spends like another 30 minutes eating in the store and then she goes and talks to everyone so like half her shift is her fucking off doing nothing and nobody says anything.

Worst fucking part is I have not won employee of the month once and every godamn time I cover someones entire shift on literal snow days or help out another department or pull a fucking double shift because someone called okt all of a sudden and I work overtime I don’t get a bonus or anything instead they just seem to hand them out like candy to the chicks at customer service who literally are never at the counter.

Some dude who got hired like 3 months after me has 2x has many employee bonus checks its just plain fucking favoritism because all the customer service people are in a GC and spend all day talking to eachother.

>>31677390
I’m still thinking about it.

my friend (19 years old) is dating a 40 year old man. And she keeps thinking about if the age gap is too large.

The relationship also seems toxic since she immature emotionally. In that she blocks and deletes there messages and doesnt talk to him. And then they love bomb each other even though they've only been together for 3 months. They emotionally shouldn't even be on the same level but for some reason they are and its.


I dont think they should be together, but this guy is a sugar daddy and has given her like 7k over the last 6 months. And im not about to ruin the money

>>31683704
I want you

>>31683704
https://youtu.be/IvInTQhWkeQ?si=koHA38bRjB3q5GHh

i feel like im messing up my life so much, i just want to feel loved i guess, i feel like i could die happy if anything loved me. i pushed a lot of people away, but i was always just an exterior to them, only lovable if i did the right things. i suppose this is what not having parents does to a man.

I finally got that stable, decent paying job, but I'm at the stage in life at which I can barely make any friends, and I'm too physically unappealing in all sorts or ways. Dying alone it is.

Complex and multifaceted, top secret code phrase for complete bullshit that we are all tired of.

Operation bring the old asshole out of retirement to fix all of our issues

>>31686453
ah we'll be aight

>>31672593
I dont know how to go to school and I feel ugly and my house is a mess and my body hurts and all I can do is smoke and play dress up in my head as who I want to be in life without actually changing anything I don’t think im gonna make it and I don’t want to sometimes but sometimes I do and I think of all the work itd take to get me out of my situation and just wish I were dead instead I have 0 social skills and im becoming emotionally and mentally numb I hate it I barely feel like a person

The difference between hares and rabbits is uncanny. I don't even see the rabbit looking at a hare. I see a furry grasshopper.

Why the fuck did parents get me a PC and video games. I was too fucking young to know what it does to the brain. I never asked them for vidya, just had it dumped on me. Got addicted instantly. I had 2 (two) girls hit on me, a neighbour girl, and a classmate, and I basically told them to fuck off so I could play video games. Fucking hell. How the fuck was I supposed to KNOW, it was my parents job to KNOW, to force my ass out into uncomfortable and teach me all that shit. Instead they just gave me a drug to numb myself with. Fuck.

>>31686169
No that's normal for all humans. If you meet someone sane you can eventually start opening up and learning to listen and trust. Took us years.

>>31686574
Hens are Roosters are chicken

Probably just PMsing but I really just kind of want to kill myself.

I'm in my mid 30s, just started a new job, and once again feel inadequate. Never not felt inadequate once in my life, honestly.
I'm kind of autistic and very awkward, so while my colleagues are polite, I can tell they don't particularly like talking to me. I didn't go there to make friends, but hours upon hours end up feeling kind of bad. If I hadn't struggled so hard to find a job, I would quit. Not like I can score any better without an education.

The job is fairly strict, has constant phone contact with customers, and one is expected to perform fast after an initial period. There's an immense pressure on that front. It will surely pass once I get comfortable with the flow of things, but right now, it really all seems gray.

I wish I could just go through with it and be done. The only reason I don't is that my parents actually care and they really deserve better than that. Fuck this gay earth.

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I miss him so much bros

>>31686453

I get up.
I go to work.
I come home to an empty house, no friends to speak of, sit in the bath, get dry and go to bed.
Rinse, repeat.

My coworkers aren't bad people either, I just can't connect with them beyond work.

It's all so tiresome.

Honestly, what am I supposed to do with myself?

Ended up with an engineering job that sends me round the country.
, but I just blow from place to place without any real friends or purpose.

It took me so long to get a real job and I'm not even good at it. I'm 28 this year and it feels like I'm running out of time to sort myself out.

It's honestly not very discreet at all and you can see them doin it when you walk by through the opening n the trees. Inside there's an illusion of privacy.