Anyone feel excluded from society despite being pretty successful? >M27>Have a good stable job software job at a very well recognized and prestigious F500 making really good money, and lots of experience at other just as prestigious companies>Well kept, groomed, not /fit/ but in shape since I stay active>Several physical and demanding hobbies, one that I'm regionally competitive inHowever>Feel like anyone who talks to me is just rolling their eyes or thinks I'm a douche>Small talk from women feels really forced, not genuine, and when I reciprocate I get the feel I'm wasting people's time (especially because it's usually store workers who are forced to make small talk. What we're saying isn't even interesting there's just some awkward pause and the silence I guess is more awkward than potentially talking to some sperg)>When I initiate conversations I get the feeling they feel the same way about me or that they think I'm trying to brag or make myself seem better than them>When I try to stay low key i get the feeling people also think that I think I'm better than themIdk I'm just getting out of a LTR I've been in since college. I'm not trying to get a girlfriend or fuck even. I just want to to talk and not be weird, not even friends just like how can I go to a bar and not be that annoying guy at the bar everyone hates like wtf
>>31675947you're not excluded from society if you have a six figgie job, poindexter
>>31675947Cont'd but idk I guess I feel like intrusive when I open my mouth to strangers even if they are the one talking to me
>>31675973What's the point in contributing to society if everyone treats you like an alien>Tfw no greasy blue collar job with middle aged coworkers who take you to the local dive and ruin your life
My husband is the guy who makes a weird impression on people. Maybe you're like him, where there are some people who really like you, and others who don't. But not usually neutral. His thinking is that the community where we live, the culture here is not a good fit and to look for another place to live, preferably where there's much more space between us and the neighbors so he can live his life without getting so many uncomfortable judgy looks YVXB
>>31675947The internet has replaced society that's why you feel like that. I've had similar feelings since I left highschool. Feels like there is no social cohesion anymore and there are very big gaps of loneliness and emptyness between the short times i have meaningful interactions with people.
>>31676004That's 100% me, your husband and I would probably make good friends or more than likely both think that and then never converse again as wellAre you all in the south by chance? Because I am, and I grew up a Yankee with Midwestern parents so the way people interact here is just way different than I'm used tooI make SUCH a weird impression on people until I can be comfortable around them. My current friend group didn't like me at all until I spent like 4 days in a cabin with them
>>31675947I know exactly what you mean.A lot of the typical incel doomers you see here and elsewhere seem to be broke slobs who are either NEETs or warehouse wagies.I feel in a very strange position being fit and having a high-income but also having only one close friend and being effectively shadowbanned whenever I go outside my home.
>>31676024>Are you all in the south by chance? Because I am, and I grew up a Yankee with Midwestern parents so the way people interact here is just way different than I'm used too.Similar to you, my husband who doesn't fit in is from another culture than where living now. We live in Virginia now in a very wealthy suburb of DC. And he's from Maryland, which is close but from a majority black/lower middle class area. So he doesn't fit in with people who are either upper middle class or badly want to be. Idk why some people can be neutral and even if not making many friends, also in the background and without negative attention, going about their day. And other people like you too just have a shitty time going outside because dreading the negative interactions.I tend to agree that probably it's better to move, because it's one thing if you're actually an asshole and makes sense that people are annoyed, and another if they just judge a guy to not fit in and exclude in a pretty explicit, negative way w/ unfriendly looks and such.
You probably talk about your job too much based on your post. You didn't even say a damn thing about how you speak or what your hobbies are, just that I AM SUCCESSFUL, so you are likely a douche and as such are treated as. Try talking about things you do for fun rather than work and don't bring up OH I AM REGIONALLY COMPETITIVE BTW.
>>31676167How should I talk about myself to not seem like that? It's kind of relevant because the concern here is that I have "made it" so to speak, but I still feel like an outcast if not moreso than before when I was a NEET. I didn't feel going in depth into what my hobbies were beyond that I take them seriously was relevantI'm totally open to constructive feedback
>>31676158Well that's interesting, I'm from a DC-Maryland Suburb and way more comfortable around city people. I think I'm gonna move. I've honestly been talking about moving for 2+ years now since im remote
>>31676004>>31676024This is my life BTW. I never have people who are neutral about me. People always really like me, or really hate me. I’ve once heard somebody say that it’s because you look “exotic”, meaning that you have facial or physical features that look “hot” to SOME people but also look very jarring to others. In monoracial areas your experience can be worse because people are more used to pedigree attractiveness, rather than mutt attractiveness, the latter which can often carry the “jarring to some” look. In places like NYC you might be more welcomed since people are kore used to a variety of looks. In places like Buckhead GA you might be much less accepted. This isnt to say that you are multiracial, just that jarring attractiveness is more common in mutt people whereas “stereotype” standard attractiveness is more common in each individual race. And so people who grew up in all-white areas or people who grew up in all-black ghettos have far less exposure to people of different races and mixes, and therefore are used to one single type of look.
>>31676020It definitely feels like everything is about social status or looks now thanks to social media. People constantly are monkeybranching to “higher” friendsgroups or to people they met off the net. It feels impossible to have an organic relationship
>>31676537Is it really like that? I wasn't part of a proper friendgroup since at least 2021. And I left because there was too much toxicity going on.
>>31675947lol is that a PT Cruiser hobby meet or a very dedicated fan?>Anyone feel excluded from society despite being pretty successful? Yeah I am a govt worker, 29M, that is relatively high up at my facility make six figs in a LCOL area but I empathize and relate to your experience. The worst part of my experience is hearing my coworkers joke and speak and as soon as I'm around it's serious business and I feel like they want me to leave. Honestly I relate more to the blue collar workers here than I do the professional staff. Anyways I grew up in the Midwest and left, live in NYC for a few years and I unironically miss it, it was a place where even outcasts could find belonging but I came back to help aging family and live a drab experience that makes me consider dropping out of society entirely since I feel so rejected by everyone I've tried to build good will with.>>31676020>Feels like there is no social cohesion anymore and there are very big gaps of loneliness and emptyness between the short times i have meaningful interactions with people.I always wonder if that's just our perspective or is it the average perspective?
>>31676228So don't bring up jobs unless asked, and if asked just give them a vague title/company. "Oh, I do some accounting for Derp Co." I've had friends for years that still don't know what my job is because it's largely irrelevant to our relationship. No one really needs to know you "made it" and I get being proud of that, but it can be really insulting/braggarty when just talking to people.Also don't look for friends at work. From your listed salary there you are likely a superior and you cannot have that sort of relationship people on different job levels. I recommend looking for social clubs or hobby groups. That gives you an immediate shared interest to talk about, he'll, even if it's somethijg you are just starting out with a good group will be happy to show you the ropes.
>>31676594>I always wonder if that's just our perspective or is it the average perspective?Yes me too. I'm not sure. I feel like there is at least something to it even tho I would probably still feel miserable in a better environment.
>>31675947>they think I'm trying to bragYour self description post has 13 claims of being better than everyone else and nothing explaining why you're fun to be around.I'm not saying you're not, OP, honestly I'm cheering for you and think you're going to make it.But you're not going to make it if you're not fun to be around.It would be different if you self described yourself as "the last seven times I tried to make a woman laugh I was successful five times, the boys and I had a couple drinks talking nonsense about sports last week, this weekend I'm getting roped into attending some relative's theater play after party and I'm curious what that'll be like". That might be boring in an absolute sense but IDGAF I'm having more fun than a guy bragging about his job.Also you are obviously very young and inexperienced if you're basing your life on "your" job. Its not "your" job unless you own the company its just your turn to be there and they'll toss you in the trash at the drop of a hat; the only thing worse than getting married in 2024 is getting married to your job in 2024.I sincerely hope the best for you and if the above pissed you off then think about why it pissed you off.
