>>31677176
How do I hit on women if I'm not feeling like a million bucks? What if I'm tired or bored but still not a dick to people, it's still being myself, right?

>>31677227
You can either do it or not. What else are you going to do? If you're really tired then why are you going out though? Rest up and recharge.

>>31677242
I don't really go out since there's no events or clubs around me and even these places are terrible for that, too loud, chaotic and crowded.

>>31677176
Posted this in the last thread but didn't get any responses, trying again
Roughly how long/how much should you text a girl you cold or nearly cold approached and got a number from, before you start bringing the conversation around to scheduling a meetup?
I know it's bad to text for weeks at a time before getting around to scheduling a date, but if you're basically strangers with a girl, you should spend a little bit of time building rapport, no?
I find myself getting ghosted after only one or two exchanges, and I can't tell if it's because they're brushing me off due to lack of attraction or I'm doing something so horrendously wrong in those one or two texts. Usually it's texts about the common interest we shared when I struck up conversation with the girl in the first place.
Should I just immediately invite a girl to go out with me over text after getting the number?

>>31677418
>you should spend a little bit of time building rapport, no?
That's what the date is for.

Ghosting is extremely common though.

>>31677429
Ok, so you're saying my first text after getting the number should be an invite to a date?
>Ghosting is extremely common though.
I can accept that it's just hard to accept when you pick up so many signals of attraction (or think you do) IRL

In my latest case I met a girl cashier at a smoke and beer shop who was also a weeb. To break the ice over text I asked her how she was able to watch a horror anime if she didn't like horror. She responded in like 5 minutes that she had trouble with watching it at night, and I joked about her needing a teddy bear and mentioned how much I liked the protag of that anime). Been almost a whole day since that and no response.

Should I just shoot my shot and ask if she wants to go shop for manga or something?

>>31677227
Why, when, and where are you trying to hit on women when you're feeling tired and bored?
Being yourself still means putting you best foot forward. So if someone meets you and you act tired and bored, they're not thinking "Hey, at least he's not being a dick!" They're thinking "Tired and bored is the best this guy can do."


Also, only boring people are bored. I'm only ever bored when I am too sick to do something interesting.

>>31677473
>Ok, so you're saying my first text after getting the number should be an invite to a date?
Maybe a preamble "Hey I really liked meeting you" or something but more or less yes. It's very difficult to avoid characterizing waiting as anything other than pussyfooting.
It can feel like you're trying to determine if she's worth asking out. Like, is the rapport worth spending your time on her. And that feels like maybe you think she might not be. Which feels like rejection.
But being too eager can seem too desperate.
This is why expressing sincere interest is good.

>Should I just shoot my shot and ask if she wants to go shop for manga or something?
It's definitely better than leaving her wondering.

Every single romantic mishap I ever encountered would have been better handled by putting my cards on the table and honestly, directly, and simply communicating my intentions. I tried to be clever and it often worked against me.
YMMV

I'm asking here because there's not a better thread for it, but where in the living fuck does the
>you don't need a relationship to be happy
>You're a whole and complete person without a relationship
>relationships don't make you whole, they add to an already complete life
and therefore
>so even if a relationship never happens for you, it's okay because you should already be happy anyways
...advice come from? I see this posted all over plebbit and articles online, but have no idea when people began to get the idea that our limbic systems aren't an essential part of us, sex is absolutely optional and not needed in life, and "you don't NEED relationships bro."
Is this just shit they're telling people on self-help forums and therapy now so every basic white bitch and self-obsessed loser is repeating it?

>>31677474
I sort of get him. I get up at 6 am for work. Hit gym after work. So if I do go out during the week I'll admit I'm pretty tired. Not sure any way around it, but I am pretty sure staying home every night is not any better.

>>31677176
is there any point to try dating women/looking for a gf if you have no social circle or friends?

>>31677540
I believe it means you must be happy and at peace with yourself. If you're not it doesn't matter if you are in a relationship or not. You will still be miserable. If relationships were the key there wouldn't be so many unhappy people in them.

>>31677540
I mean consider the options
If love is truly hopeless for you, would you rather be alone and happy or alone and miserable?
It's very woo woo, but at least for men you do need to exude a certain level of positive energy or whatever the fuck, and the root of that is having high self esteem which comes from a happy life.
Women don't need this to get into a relationship the same way men do, since all they need to do is open their legs, but some women do eventually get it into their thick heads after getting ran through over and over that yes, they should work on their self esteem by self improvement instead of validation from getting random dick

>>31677582
>If love is truly hopeless for you, would you rather be alone and happy or alone and miserable?

I have a naturally high libido and masturbate multiple times a day. It doesn't interfere with my work or studies, but it's a natural physiologicla part of me. I naturally want and crave sex, and beyond that I want intimacy. If love is "truly hopeless for me," I'd rather get castrated because having a literal part of my body making me desire something I can't have feels like cruel and unusual punishment.

>>31677605
pornography addict justifying his crutch

also the only women that will be attracted to you until you have personality will be like ~18 year olds because they have higher libido. Welcome to being a cursed man.

>>31677605
So go find a girl. Talk to as many as possible and eventually you will find one.

>>31677605
I also have a very high natural sex drive. I used to masturbate multiple times a day until I decided to stop. Now I masturbate only once every few months and I've actually never felt better.
>>31677627
>also the only women that will be attracted to you until you have personality will be like ~18 year olds because they have higher libido.
Kek, I'd give my left nut to find these high libido 18 year old girls, they don't exist outside of a college campus

>>31677627
>pornography addict justifying his crutch

I only use porn half of the time, and even then, it's hentai so I don't support the porn industry or sexual exploitation of women. Other than that, the first time is usually in the morning when I wake up and I'm just using my imagination.

I know for a fact I don't have a porn addiction because I can get and keep an erection without the porn.

>>31677629
I'm a terminally online shut-in who lives at home at an age many women are already in their careers. "Just talk to women bro" is much easier said than done for me. No matter how much I want sex, I'm never going to walk right up to a woman and just ask to bang, because not only is that weird as shit but I want intimacy too

i worry she will forget about me while im away

File: NotEnough.jpg (43 KB, 608x336)

43 KB JPG

>>31677540
It's pretty alarming that you seem to reduce all happiness derived from relationships into sex.

But here's the thing: happiness is a transitory state. Neither sex nor relationships are necessary for happiness or contentment.
But sex and socialization are part of a healthy human existence.

The advice is not about doing without forever. Not the sensible version anyway. That's like saying you can live a happy life without the use of your legs. It's absolutely true but that doesn't mean that you should sit down and never stand up again because you don't have to in order to be happy.

The advice is expressing the truth: If you can't be happy without sex or a gf, you won't be happy with it.

Find joy in life without sex. Then find joy in life with sex.

>>31677565
Don't exhaust yourself every day.
Go out on days you don't exhaust yourself.

>>31677644
>I'm never going to walk right up to a woman and just ask to bang,
Anon, not one person in or out of these threads has ever told you to do this.
People told you to talk to women. You tacked on that second part out of your own volition.

>>31677571
Yes.

>>31677605
>>31677644
>I WANT I WANT I WANT
You sound like a needy little girl. How can you complain about constantly having to empty your balls when you act like you don't have a pair at all
>I'm a terminally online shut-in who lives at home at an age many women are already in their careers.
And who's fault is that, really?
>I'm never going to walk right up to a woman and just ask to bang, because not only is that weird as shit but I want intimacy too
LMAO look at this retard who reduces the process of approaching and courting women to "Hi you're hot want to fuck?"
If you don't have the courage to approach women you don't deserve sex
Next time you go out and chat with a girl for more than two minutes, ask for her phone number. Just do it, see what happens.

>>31677565
>So if I do go out during the week I'll admit I'm pretty tired
Anon, so are most people. Why do you think they go out on the weekends instead (or whenever they're NOT working/tired from work)?

>>31677605
>inb4 a wonderful girl falls madly in love with you after you castrate yourself

How do I approach a girl I used to know long ago but haven't talked to in like 10 years? She just got out of a relationship a few months ago so I wanna hit her up and see where it goes, just don't know where to start.

>>31677682
Given how entitled he sounds I'd say that would be exactly what he deserves.

>>31677676
>You sound like a needy little girl. How can you complain about constantly having to empty your balls when you act like you don't have a pair at all

Uh huh. Humans have physiological wants and needs. In other news, water is wet. And you sound like a pansy little douchebag who writes tough words on the internet but couldn't box his way out of a wet paper towel

>And who's fault is that, really?
When did I say otherwise?

>Next time you go out and chat with a girl for more than two minutes, ask for her phone number. Just do it, see what happens.
Oh, so you're even more retarded than me. I already feel better. Here, let me spell it out for you. If I spent most of my adult life in self-imposed isolation, "just go and talk to a woman for more than two minutes" is much easier said than done, because I literally do not have the social or the interpersonal skills to do that. You fucking dumbass

>>31677682
Well, the idea is if love and intimacy are truly hopeless for me, then "learning to be happy without a relationship/sex" means overcoming my desire for either of those things. As someone with a high libido, getting castrated would be the no-brainer choice..

>>31677719
>If I spent most of my adult life in self-imposed isolation
NTA but whose choice was that? You even admit as much by calling it self-imposed.
So with that in mind, why are you complaining about "not having the social or interpersonal skills to do that"? That was literally YOUR idea.
The funny part though is that you could still learn those skills. Instead your mind is skipping straight to self-castration because you are just THAT against having to do any actual soul-searching or work. Sad, but kind of funny too.

>>31677719
>And you sound like a pansy little douchebag who writes tough words on the internet but couldn't box his way out of a wet paper towel
Kek I'd knock you the fuck out the minute you stepped into the ring, I'm literally training for my first amateur heavyweight bout.
>Oh, so you're even more retarded than me. I already feel better. Here, let me spell it out for you. If I spent most of my adult life in self-imposed isolation, "just go and talk to a woman for more than two minutes" is much easier said than done, because I literally do not have the social or the interpersonal skills to do that. You fucking dumbass
WAHHHHH WAHHHHH WAHHHHH MOMMY I POOPED MYSELF CHANGE MY DIAPER FOR ME MOMMY I CAN'T DO IT WAHHHHHH
Unironically, go cut your balls off. Start wearing dresses and hop on HRT while you're at it.

>>31677719
>As someone with a high libido, getting castrated would be the no-brainer choice..
I have an incredibly high libido, have gone 7 years only having sex 3 times, and I think castration is a retarded idea. I plan to nut three times a day until I am a hundred and eleventy

>>31677671
ok but how do i explain it? having no friends is seen as pretty creepy by women

>>31677734
I'm not complaining. I'm literally not even asking for help to do something about it. I'm just asking where >>31677540
this opinion comes from.

>The funny part though is that you could still learn those skills. Instead your mind is skipping straight to self-castration because you are just THAT against having to do any actual soul-searching or work. Sad, but kind of funny too.
I'm going to be honest. I don't know how, and because of life circumstances and the fact that I put myself in a position in life where even if I do unfuck myself, realistically it would take me 8 years before I actually get the financial, emotional, and physical parity with the kind of person I'd want to date, and by then I'll be a 38 year old virgin whose only dating prospects are single cat ladies, divorcees, and single moms. Therefore, it feels way easier to give up.

File: e1507492117256.png (313 KB, 494x345)

313 KB PNG

After you realize that women just want to fuck psychopaths, what is even the point of trying? That is the ultimate blackpill.

>>31677747
>Kek I'd knock you the fuck out the minute you stepped into the ring, I'm literally training for my first amateur heavyweight bout.
Cool story tough guy. You'd eat a face full of 5.56 before you ever got to swing a fist at me. The tough guy act only works when you have a keyboard and screen to physically separate you from other people. You're also not the only one here who works out, champ

>>31677773
>how do i convey that i like a girl
body language, touch her, compliment her

>>31677773
wrong reply, meant to reply to >>31677142

>>31677756
You pull. I don't. I don't want to keep something that reminds me that I want something I can't have.

Again, I'm not asking for advice. I'm just wondering what the origin of the "just stop wanting sex/relationships and be whole without a partner" comes from

>>31677761
What's the explanation?

>>31677798
>I'm not asking for advice. I'm just wondering what the origin of the "just stop wanting sex/relationships and be whole without a partner" comes from
See
>>31677657
Asked and answered.

>>31677773

That's obviously not true. Is this the first time you've been in one of this threads. Lots of psychopaths around here not getting laid. Just look at the guy who'd rather castrate himself as an example.

>>31677804
lost all my friends before covid and have been living in semi isolation since then. i was a teenager when it happened, i wonder if it stunted my growth. 19 now btw

>>31677784
>You'd eat a face full of 5.56 before you ever got to swing a fist at me.
Oh so you're admitting you'd get your ass kicked?
Also, I have an AR too dumbass. I also have a .308 I'd use to blow the top of your stupid head off before you got close to me with your shitty tacti-cool Mattel build
Look that this faggot that thinks having guns and working out is special or makes him tough. This is a thread full of single guys. We ALL work out, we ALL have guns (except for the eurocucks).
You're the one that escalated this in the first place by not being able to nut up and get the point of what we're saying, you're so fucking effeminate it's not even funny, the gene pool will be better off if you chop your balls off and troon out.
Honestly, you make ME feel better. I'm down really fucking bad right now, probably worse than I've been in my life, I'm fucking DESPERATE for pussy, DESPERATE for it, but in spite of that I'm doing 1000x than you are.

>>31677773
Aren't there a lot of psychopaths on 4chan?

>>31677690
That's tough. Are you friends on social media? Not much you can do other than DM or hope you run in to her which is pretty unlikely.

>>31677768
>I'm just asking where this opinion comes from.
The opinion comes from people without co-dependency issues trying to explain that it is possible to be happy and content out of relationship, because that is true. Just like it's possible to be miserable IN a relationship. Most of us have been there, so therefore, objectively, we know more than you. You refuse to listen and take our word for it.
It also doesn't help that you completely conflate relationships and sex. You can have sex outside of a relationship. You can sure as fuck get off outside of a relationship if you have to. You have a hand don't you? Of course it's not the first choice, but it does the job especially if we're just talking about limbic systems and physiological needs.
>I'm going to be honest. I don't know how,
I know, it's obvious. So with that in mind, again, LISTEN to us when we give you advice.
>realistically it would take me 8 years before I actually get the financial, emotional, and physical parity with the kind of person I'd want to date, and by then I'll be a 38 year old virgi
It should really not take you 8 years to learn how to talk to women. Unless you're starting right from the very bottom. Do you have friends? Can you talk to people at all?
And what does your financial situation have to do with it? Don't tell me you're a NEET too? These problems all feed into each other but you do have to compartmentalize here a bit.
>Therefore, it feels way easier to give up.
Well, thank you for the honesty. You just spoke for 95% of the incels complaining on this board. Even so...it's not the way to go. It's never worth giving up.

>>31677813
>>31677657
>It's pretty alarming that you seem to reduce all happiness derived from relationships into sex.
I don't. I recognize sex and intimacy as a basic physiological and emotional need inherent to the very condition of being human because it's our primary means of surviving as a population and reproducing. I'm asking about where this advice comes from because the people who offer it also blatantly state that everything about relationships, from the sex to the emotional connection and intimacy, is optional and non-essential to living a full and complete life. Therefore, your example about living life without a leg wouldn't apply. Your leg is a physical part of you that's necessary for you to be a complete person. A better example would be viewing relationships more akin to eating chocolate cake. It's not important and people do it because it's delicious and makes them happy, but you can live a FULL and COMPLETE life without eating chocolate cake.

Would you give a girl another chance if she rejected you because someone else asked her before you did? To me this seems like someone who never really liked me that much and just wants me now that the other relationship crashed and burned but I also get that I can be too slow with these things sometimes. I just feel like I should take that lesson and move on to another girl than one who already said no regardless of the circumstances

>>31677826
>>31677834
Nah, I'd say the vast majority are just social outcasts who like to shitpost and be edgy. Not true psychopaths that get women gushing.

>>31677840
>It's not important and people do it because it's delicious and makes them happy, but you can live a FULL and COMPLETE life without eating chocolate cake.
Well there you go, you just answered your own question. So why do you ask why we tell you?
As you said, you can live without chocolate cake, as nice as it is to have. So, what do you think you would tell some whiny asshole who can't stop complaining to you how his life is over and he wants to remove his taste buds because he doesn't have any chocolate cake?
Well, you'd probably tell him to fuck off.
Getting the picture yet?

>>31677851
>Would you give a girl another chance if she rejected you because someone else asked her before you did?
That's not a "rejection" anon, she was taken.

>>31677833
Lol you're the idiot who initiated with bringing up a hypothetical fight with me in the first place you insufferable faggot. And no, I'm confident enough in my physical abilities, but I'm under no obligation to get into an unwanted fight just because some insecure dipshit on the internet wants to flaunt around his fragile ego to make himself feel better. I got my CCW for a reason.

>I also have a .308 I'd use to blow the top of your stupid head off before you got close to me with your shitty tacti-cool Mattel build
I guarantee you that I get more trigger time than you do. Sit down.

>It should really not take you 8 years to learn how to talk to women. Unless you're starting right from the very bottom.
I am starting from the bottom. Not a NEET. Have a job, but only making $25/hour living at home. All of my friends are online, and my hobbies are entirely practiced in solitary.

>And what does your financial situation have to do with it? Don't tell me you're a NEET too? These problems all feed into each other but you do have to compartmentalize here a bit.
You don't need to be fully financially independent and have status when you're young and mingling, but the older you get the less justified it becomes to have a stable career with future prospects for promotions and upgrades. I waited long enough to put myself into the second camp. So now I have to wait not just to develop the social skills, but until I finish school and find a change in jobs and get an apartment. Realistically, I'm not going to date at all until about 35-38 years old.

>>31677861
Again I’m not great with this stuff, but I was clearly putting out intentions and being flirty. Like would she just say yes to any guy who asked before me? She was so upset when I pulled back from talking to her after yet she could have easily said yes to me and dump the other guy. Like they just started dating for a week I wasn’t breaking up a years long relationship. To me it just seems like she’s waiting for any decent guy to ask and now it’s “my turn” Like I’m sure they fucked and that disgusts me now

>>31677857
So is sex and intimacy akin to chocolate cake or living without a leg? One is more essential than the other.

>>31677877
35 or 38?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQdYhimRkMI

>>31677877
>but the older you get the less justified it becomes to have
The less justified it becomes to NOT have*

>>31677835
She doesn't have social media, but I did get her phone number from a mutual contact.

>>31677893
Probably 38. I'm going to live at home for another 6-8 years after I graduate because flight school is expensive, and I'm planning on getting my PPL, IFR, and CPL with my savings and job, which means I won't be able to afford moving out and paying rent

>>31677877
>but only making $25/hour living at home
That's not BAD, at the very least you should have been able to save some money I hope.
> All of my friends are online,
Doesn't count. I mean yeah, better than nothing.
> and my hobbies are entirely practiced in solitary.
So are mine anon, but I still have friends.
>So now I have to wait not just to develop the social skills, but until I finish school and find a change in jobs and get an apartment
I've been there with finishing school late and I can respect that you're doing it. I had to live with my parents at your age too, I get it sucks. And it did make dating harder, not gonna lie.
Even so, perfect is the enemy of good. You wait until you have your dream job and your degree and your apartment, you might be waiting forever. There are women out there who are in the same situation as you are (and I was), and you can also always date younger and it doesn't matter so much. No one said a 30 year old guy has to date 30-something year old women.

>>31677911
>No one said a 30 year old guy has to date 30-something year old women.
LOL that's literally the going opinion on plebbit and all over X and other social media

Is a woman more likely to be attracted to you when she's drunk?

>>31677884
>Again I’m not great with this stuff, but I was clearly putting out intentions and being flirty.
Did you ask her out? Flirty isn't good enough. I flirt with lots of women I never asked out, I do it for fun. That guy went for it and reached for the brass ring. You did not.
> She was so upset when I pulled back from talking to her
Why wouldn't she be? From her perspective, you were a guy who she might've considered a friend, or at least an acquaintance, who she enjoyed talking to and then suddenly stopped and went cold for no reason.
>yet she could have easily said yes to me and dump the other guy.
Why should she? What makes you so special? Maybe she was happy with the other guy? He asked her out and you didn't, cope and seethe about it.
>Like I’m sure they fucked and that disgusts me now
I'm sure they did too. But that's none of your business. Learn from it and don't drop the ball next time.

>>31677886
Definitely the chocolate cake. I thought I was making my point clear about that.

>>31677919
So? You gonna let redditors and blue-haired trannies on twitter tell you what to do or stop you from living your life?

>>31677911
>That's not BAD, at the very least you should have been able to save some money I hope.
I have, but I just spent a good chunk of it living overseas for study abroad. I took a language minor I just finished which offered an abroad program, so I just finished that.

>So are mine anon, but I still have friends.
And I don't. I literally don't know how to socialize. I generally keep to myself because that's all I know.

>You wait until you have your dream job and your degree and your apartment, you might be waiting forever. There are women out there who are in the same situation as you are (and I was), and you can also always date younger and it doesn't matter so much. No one said a 30 year old guy has to date 30-something year old women.
Gonna be real with you man, if I stop and ask myself, "would the woman I want to date, with all of her choices that she has, want to date me?" The answer would be no. She wouldn't choose me. She'd choose someone younger than me, who didn't wait as long as I did to become an indepenedent adult, because someone 22-25 who is socially well-adjusted, has money, and "just gets it" will simply be a better partner all around and better company to be with. I have a lot of emotional trauma and baggage I'm going to have to learn to cope with whic is a lot to ask a woman who doesn't have to deal with those things. Why the fuck would a woman have to put up with loner/incel vibes when she's had no issues getting dates since she was fucking 16?

If I was going to not give up and actually ask people on this thread for realistic advice, it would have to be "once I'm financially secure and independent and have some semblance of status, how do I navigate dating women over 35+ to choose the best of the leftovers?" But I'm not sure I want to do that yet, because I still don't know how I feel about my pool of potential available partners when I'm ready being objectively worse than it would for me if I was ready to date 10 years ago.

>>31677949
>Gonna be real with you man, if I stop and ask myself, "would the woman I want to date, with all of her choices that she has, want to date me?" The answer would be no.
I gotta run but check back later anon, I will have a response (and a pep talk) for this.

>>31677949
You're disqualifying yourself for no reason.

>>31677931
You typed all that out assuming I didn’t ask her out but if you read what I wrote I said I did ask her out just a week later than another guy. I didn’t just randomly stop talking to her. She knows why. if you’re saying a women only cares about who asks first then I guess the answer to my question is “no don’t give her another chance just move on” right?
> that's none of your business
Sure it is. It shows our values aren’t the same. I just thought they were

>>31677931
>Definitely the chocolate cake. I thought I was making my point clear about that.
I didn't specifically evolve to desire and crave chocolate cake. It's a cultural and acquired taste that developed through exposure and conditioning. Meanwhile, I literally have an appendage fixed to my body that exists for no reason other than to have sex. If it was just for me to urinate, a simple hole would've worked. This is on top of the fact that humans are a social species and have an ingrained need to have relationships of diverse forms with other people, both romantic and not. Treating sex and emotional intimacy as if they're totally optional and not essential to the human experience is fucking demented and would result in literal extinction. Again, it's literally our basic mode of survival after acquiring resources. Meanwhile, you don't gain anything, either nutrition wise or in genetic fitness, from eating chocolate cake.

You're fucking retarded if you think a girlfriend is like chocolate cake

>>31677965
> What makes you so special?
Dunno wish she would tell me because now I’m the only person she stares at.

>>31677975
>>31677931

>>31677840
>>It's pretty alarming that you seem to reduce all happiness derived from relationships into sex.
>I don't. I recognize sex and continue to focus and talk about sex sex sexity sex sex sex S E X ....sex
Cool story bro.

>I'm asking about where this advice comes from
Asked and answered.

>>31677176
These questions are probably asked a lot but I need some advice.
How can I tell if a girl is interested in me and how can I approach a girl I know that could be interested in me without looking like a creep?
I'm not afraid of being told to fuck off but I'm kind of scared of a girl I might try to talk to calling the cops, making a scene or posting about me on social media.

>>31677884
>>31677851
A tremendous amount of what you're upset about is happening only in your head.

And if someone asked her out first, she wasn't rejecting you.

Stop being so arrogant that you demand any woman who likes you must immediately abandon any other man to jump at the chance of dating you.
All or Nothing Thinking is a cognitive distortion.

>>31678099
I said sex and intimacy. It's clearly not the only thing I'm talking about. Focusing on one thing I mention while disregarding the rest is a form of red-herring. Stop being disingenuous and engaging in bad faith.

>>31677928
Only if she's drunk to the point of it affecting her vision. Usually it just lowers inhibition of natural attraction.

>>31678127
>Stop being disingenuous and engaging in bad faith.
...said the anon ignoring the answer to his question

Troll a different thread, anon.

>>31678148
You accused me to reducing the happiness derived from relationships down to sex only. I defended myself and proved I did no such thing. It's not trolling to defend myself from idiots arguing in bad faith by putting words in my mouth.

>>31678125
She wasn’t truthful with me either. She mentioned her ex but also started seeing another guy too at the same time she was sort of with her ex again I guess

i think the girl im talking to for 2 days is autistic or something

if we talk about video games she can go on and on but when I ask about literally anything else I'm getting barely an answer. Do I just save those type of questions for a coffee date?

>>31678162
How was that untruthful?

>>31677877
Keep being mad, effeminate and desperate to prove yourself to strangers on the Internet, this is the sort of personality women love.
Again, I thank you for reminding me there are in fact bigger losers out there than me.

the more I care for her, the more the idea of her having been with other men repulses me. it's crazy how infatuation and digust feed into each other. if I only have friendship feelings for a girl or lost this is no issue at all and I just take things how they come

yet once I actually start to feel that shit tortures me. and it's not because of a lack of experience or jealousy either. I just dislike the idea of it so much despite knowing that it is irrational

>>31678187
How is it not? She’s seeing two guys and only told me about one. She was “taken” and still went out with another guy soo not really being honest with me. Though I guess her saying “I’m a slut but not for you” is expecting too much

>>31677962
He doesn't even want to try for fear of failure, truly more pathetic creatures do not exist

>>31677965
>You typed all that out assuming I didn’t ask her out but if you read what I wrote I said I did ask her out just a week later than another guy
Ok, if you didn't ask her out FIRST it doesn't count. You waited too long and she was taken, simple as.
> It shows our values aren’t the same. I just thought they were
So if you had a girlfriend, you wouldn't have sex with her?
Would this other girl then be justified in being disappointed in your "values" if you did?

I had a minor glowup and now notice women are occasionally locking eyes with me in public

How do I go from that to sex?

>>31678195
Kid, nobody has been signaling harder than you this entire thread. You write like you have something to prove to random strangers who don't know, care, or give a flying fuck about you as if it changes anything about your life or your circumstances. It's no wonder why you feel like shit.

The only truthful thing you said in that word salad in a desperate attempt to berate me is that you're a loser. Literally everything you're accusing me of being could very well be a projection. In fact, it's obvious it is, from the tough guy language, to being the first dipshit to bringing up a fight, and mentioning you box as if anybody here cares. And supposedly I'm the one who thinks working out makes me special? Fucking LMAO

>Again, I thank you for reminding me there are in fact bigger losers out there than me.
This is an obvious cry for help. Go get therapy.

>>31678197
It’s not irrational people were just told it is because the church pushed it for their own reasons. Now people are sluts to spite a time that doesn’t even exist anymore not thinking about the repercussions of sleeping around just that’s what is expected of you now

>>31677949
>>31677954
Well, I WAS going to give you a pep talk but here you are calling me a retard >>31677970
>You're fucking retarded if you think a girlfriend is like chocolate cake
So fuck you, you're on your own.
But I will add, since you mention woman you'd want to date wouldn't want to date you, that means the woman is too good for you. So you want to date a woman who is better than you, which is the EXACT same thing incels always cry about regarding "hypergamy". You want better than what you are yourself.
So either lower your standards, or git gud.

>>31678204
So she established that she dating someone else but you're bothered because she didn't explicitly inform you, who she wasn't dating, that she was also sort of seeing someone else on top of that?
How much level of information do you feel entitled to from women you aren't dating?
Your anger also seems excessive considering that you weren't dating.

Never emotionally invest in a partner you aren't actually dating yet.

>>31678210
If being first is all that matters to her I don’t want her. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a girl to not agree to any guy other guys that ask if they’re actually interested in someone else for real. I didn’t wait months or years to ask her out I was just a week late. All the while putting in all the work to talk to her to keep the conversation going, something I’ve come to expect guys have to do, but my God I can’t compete with a timetable she won’t tell me about.
>you wouldn’t have sex with her
No I’m waiting for marriage. If she is against that I wouldn’t be mad at all for her to want to leave. But the way the gossip I heard was not the case. So no I definitely don’t want a girl who sleeps with a guy so soon in a relationship

>>31678217
It's irrational in the sense that everyone is fucking around so the logical thing is to get over it ( sadly emotions aren't governed by logic). And the more you open up to a woman, the more you'll learn how much they hide and lie ( even to themselves), so at some point you have to get over it for your own sanity. I just can't, or not in the way I should

I know the reason. it's because it profanes an image of purity I have in my mind, and I know that's ridiculous. But even so fucking with that image hurts

>>31678239
No when I asked if she had a boyfriend she said no. When I asked her out she said age was still talking to her ex.

>>31677176
>be me
>ride bicycle around town for cardio
>pass girls walking
>make eye contact and smile
>they smile back
feels good but we all know I'll never stop and talk to them

File: Untitled10.png (17 KB, 1899x154)

17 KB PNG

>>31678229
Literally NTA, but okay. I was on my own anyways. Fuck you too.

>>31678197
>>31678217
It is irrational but to me it's like imagining the people who handle your food occasionally getting shit on their hand when they have an accident wiping their ass. It's long enough ago that it doesn't actually matter. But yeah, if you focus on it, it'll disgust you.

Life's messy and won't make allowances for the things that bother you. Stop being fragile and accept that people have history.
Your dick has been inside your mother's vagina. Deal with it.

>>31678244
you’re claiming every woman that’s dateable sleeps around or there’s no virgins out there which is not true. Don’t fall for the everyone is fucking 20 people meme

File: 1000006155.jpg (259 KB, 1080x2299)

259 KB JPG

Think this one's in the bag? Been 3 months since I last had sex so it'd be nice if my next fuck would be this big titty Tinder slut.
If, or when, she replies with her username, should I do my usual thing and send a shirtless towel mirror selfie followed by a dick snap if things go well, or play it cool and chill til she asks me to whip it out?

>>31678246
>she was still talking to her ex.
So you believe that talking to someone is equivalent to being in a relationship? That tracks with the rest of your posts.

>>31678261
Hey if you’re okay knowing your wife was getting railed by other guys that’s fine but I won’t accept that. If it comes down to it I’ll stay a bachelor

>>31678243
>I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a girl to not agree to any guy other guys that ask if they’re actually interested in someone else for real.
So you expect a girl to act as though she's your girlfriend without actually being your girlfriend? I'm sure she would rebuff another guy's advances if you were actually together, because then that would be cheating. But you're not, so it isn't.
>No I’m waiting for marriage
Ah, you're one of those. Well I can respect that, but that's not my world so any advice I could give you would be coming from a very different place.

>>31678248
>feels good but we all know I'll never stop and talk to them
If you stop to take a break and bump into them, you have an opportunity to say hey

>>31678267
It was the reason she rejected me? I don’t get what you’re saying but you seem to be on a war path for a girl you don’t know. Are you saying I should t have taken that as a no? Because she specifically said no for that reason

>>31678252
Ok, you were the one who brought up the chocolate cake are you not? So why then do you just let some other faggot slot in and speak for you?
I'm so tired of all of you retards on this site and the little games you play just because we're all anonymous.

>>31678269
>If it comes down to it I’ll stay a bachelor
That's one way to refer to it.
You do you.

>>31678282
I have no problem getting attention from girls. They want to date me but I’m trying to wait for someone important. You’ll say it’s a lie but women have straight up asked to hook up and I’ve said no. I must be worth something if they are after my pants without me even wanting to commit

>>31678262
I'm not saying everyone has double digits partners at 20. For men that's extremely rare, for women more common but still rare ( I've come to understand that they lie so much to themselves, mostly out of regret and shame, that I'd never believe any survey study ngl)
But the chances of you finding an actual virgin girl that's not mentally disturbed or misformed, in the west, post early 20s, is incredibly small. As in you're hoping for lightining to strike twice


>>31678261
I can cancel it out. And I'm only taking about 2 men here, not 20. Still the more in love I am, the more it annoys and digsusts me. It'll wane with time. It's just interesting how feelings of infatuation and disgust are often to entwined

>>31678276
I'm saying that she's allowed to consider her ex "not a bf" and continue to talk to her ex and not be untruthful. It's literally not being untruthful.
She broke up.
She was talking.
She chose someone besides you.

This doesn't make her an evil lying slut.
This thread isn't a hugbox to despise "evil" women. It's to advise you on how to get women.

And step one is not getting entitled or angry over some woman you were just talking to.
It's not a good look.

>>31678281
I was, but I'm not exactly obligated to reply to every sperg who interjects into an existing conversation on 4chan when that's something insanely easy to do am I? Besides, I was replying to the tripfag and not you when I originally brought it up. Other faganon's opinions are his own.

>>31678246
These two statements don't contradict though.

>>31678293
>It's just interesting how feelings of infatuation and disgust are often to entwined
I can't relate but I'm 45 and only recently understood a hint of jealousy. Most jealousy is just retardation to me.
Not saying you're jealous. Just citing my deficiency. I'm aware that I am the unusual one.

>>31678298
You’re so into trying to convince me I’m wrong I doubt you even remember what my original question was. I don’t care about being rejected. I don’t care she chose someone else. I care she did that and still thinks I should give her a shot now. I’m not looking for a hug box but you’re just trashing me without even listening

File: tumblr_m6h8f1CLRI1rwcc6bo1_500.gif (487 KB, 470x253)

487 KB GIF

>>31678305
This anon understands basic logic.

>>31678305
Okay then why be so obtuse about it? I’m clearly asking because I like her. She could have easily said when I asked her if she had a bf that she was talking to someone. I don’t need the whole backstory but “I'm talking to someone” is a lot different than just saying no.

>>31678306
I have no idea where it comes from. Is it insecurity? Hard to imagine. I never had any issues whatsoever in attracting women and I've been dating since I was 16. So it's not a lack of experience either
I think it's because being in love you tend to idealize. And the clash of the ugliness of reality, where people make mistakes, where some sins stick to your soul for life, with my mental image of pure love just hurts. The contrast is painful. The horrible thing is that I'm 30 so I should be way beyond that. Still, I guess I'm a bitter romantic at heart

>>31678229
Don't waste your time. I read back the conversation and you're arguments only make sense to people genuinely trying to understand them. OP feels hopeless, and you have no right to steal his self-harming ideology from him. He does not want to be better.

His argument that "I have a penis, therefore sex is a necessity" is retarded. Walking is not a necessity in a vacuum. I have K9s, but eating meat is not a necessity. Our bodies are designed to run for long periods of time, but running is not a necessity. We can fight, lift, etc...

Poor OP has this infectious thought in his mind that's corrupting him. It's unfortunate too, because the more you see sex as a necessity you're due, the less likely you are to get it.
>>31678252
I'm guessing he fucked up and responded to you. Probably a mistake.

>>31678310
>I doubt you even remember what my original question was.
>>31677851
>Would you give a girl another chance if she rejected you because someone else asked her before you did?
See
>>31677861
>That's not a "rejection" anon, she was taken.
A. She didn't reject you. She chose someone else.
B. Yes. If I hadn't moved on.

She thought some other loser was a better choice than me and learned otherwise. Now she's trying to fix her mistake.

>I care she did that and still thinks I should give her a shot now.
Why wouldn't she?
She didn't reject you, lie to you, or tell you that you weren't good enough. She was just exploring another option with someone who asked first and it didn't pan out. If you're not interested, that's fine. She missed her chance. Fine.
But you seem *very* angry over this like she owes you literally anything. She doesn't. Nothing happened. There's no need for your anger.

>>31678310
>I care she did that and still thinks I should give her a shot now.

I'll answer. Ignore all other answers but mine.

No. Don't give her a chance. Ever.

In fact, never ask a woman out again, and reject all women that ask you out. Spare them the waste of time dealing with a narcissistic, immature prick like yourself.

Happy?

>>31678335
Stop. I answered his question here >>31678336

Leave. I'll take it from here.

>>31678322
>I think it's because being in love you tend to idealize. And the clash of the ugliness of reality
Fits with my not getting it. My idealized love is full of ugly reality.

>>31678339
I will give him your time.

>>31678336
Why am I narcissistic prick? I wouldn’t expect a girl to want to date me after I rejected her if I changed my mind

>>31678326
>It's unfortunate too, because the more you see sex as a necessity you're due, the less likely you are to get it.
NTA but just because you see something as a necessity doesn't mean you also think you're owed it. You also need money and food to live, yet nobody is actually obligated to give you their money or food. Similarly, you need a job to live in a modern country, yet nobody's actually obligated to provide you with a job (unless you live in a Communist country).

Love and sex are a basic necessity as are any other relationships we have, whether they be romantic, platonic, or friendly in nature. You are literally incapable of surviving without other people in your life, because being a tribal and a social species means you literally need to be around other people or else you will clinically go insane. A romantic relationship just happens to be one of of those needs in addition to friendly relationships and professional relationships.

>His argument that "I have a penis, therefore sex is a necessity" is retarded
Sure. A stronger and more compelling argument would be that you will actually go extinct if you don't have sex and raise children. We've naturally evolved to want and desire sex and romantic companionship because people who don't remove themselves from selection, and the next generation of people is exclusively populated only by those who do value sex and having children

>>31678345
Damnit

I meant something like

He will have your time.

I was referencing the other anon and then realized that I forgot to respond last thread. Oops.

>>31678326
I did mix those anons up, the 30 year old guy was right about that and I should not have flown off the handle at him. I can't blame him for getting mad at me. Again, I blame the cake autist for just jumping in and being all "hurr durr you don't get nutrition or genetic fitness from the chocolate cake". As if that matters or was ever the point.

>>31678312
Thanks. You're 45? I'm 43. I think a lot of it is we'll be here arguing with literal kids. You do pick up some logic and common sense over the years just by living. Though I don't think I was wacked in the head even as a 20 year old with a chip on my shoulder as some of these guys are, and at the time I thought I was pretty bad.
And like I told that anon, I can respect it if he wants to wait until marriage. What I just don't understand is who so many of these tradcucks and prudes show up in droves on 4chan of all places. A site where a lot of people come for gore, hentai, and calling each other niggers.
I don't know, to each their own but to me it doesn't seem like the kind of place these pious types would want to hang out at.

>>31678335
I’m not angry at her I’m angry at the situation. I’m very polite to her I just don’t go out of my way to talk to her and she acts miserable now because of it. Everyone keeps bashing me like I shouldn’t be hurt she chose someone else despite clearly being really interested in me. That’s why I’m mad if she was interested why make it so difficult? Talk to me for fucks sake the first time

>>31678355
>Sure. A stronger and more compelling argument would be that you will actually go extinct if you don't have sex and raise children
The elephant in the room here is that the genetic lines of a lot of these particular posters going extinct is NOT a bad thing.
Nature is trying to course-correct here. Don't encourage some of these guys to resist it.

>>31678356
God name fags really are the biggest attention whores

>>31678345
Yeah, thanks. You've been nice enough. This retard doesn't want his mind changed, he wants you to agree she's wrong for her justified behavior.
>>31678351
>Why am I narcissistic prick?
Narcist because you're upset she wouldn't leave her current partner for you. Prick doesn't really apply. Apologize. I should have used narcissistic retard.
>I wouldn’t expect a girl to want to date me after I rejected her if I changed my mind
Then say no. Tell her you're not interested. If that's your perspective, then leave it there. You finally found the answer to your question: Don't even consider dating this girl you're clearly interested in because of some arbitrary rule you're establishing for yourself. I'm sure you'd love it if you started dating her and she left you for another guy a week after.

Happy?

>>31678378
Why would I love that? No I’m not happy you’re still being a prick. It didn’t answer anything

>>31678369
Sure. I agree that due to material comfort and the fact that we have everything we need in abundance, modern living enables excesses to live who would've died a long time ago in any premodern society, but that's beside the point. The point I was showing is that just because something is a need doesn't follow that you're owed it. I think there's a point to be made that unlike cravings for specific foods, you have a natural biological desire to procreate for a reason.

I agree that acting like you're miserable and wailing about not getting laid just makes you look like a self-pitying loser that nobody wants to fuck, but at the same time I also feel like acting like we don't need sex or relationships at all is overcorrecting in the other direction

>>31678343
>My idealized love is full of ugly reality

I don't know what's better tbf. Punishing people because they don't conform to your fantasies seems cruel. Like last night she talked about her ex, and I could actually feel my heart growing cold. Like the distance between us was actively expanding. She felt it too and she came to sit on my lap and tried to tenderly console me. But then when we had sex I felt a kind of aggressiontowards her. Like I wanted to be more rough, I wanted to dominate her, make her feel used

That doesn't seem healthy

>>31678357
>I don't think I was wacked in the head even as a 20 year old with a chip on my shoulder as some of these guys are
I've been a lunatic for 40 years but in an entirely different way.

>What I just don't understand is who so many of these tradcucks and prudes show up in droves on 4chan of all places.
I think it's a twisted form of the Madonna Whore complex, narcissistic impotent rage, and a heavy lack of self awareness.
They don't understand sex. So they idealize sex. Yet many have been fapping to porn since before they had pubes. So they think sex is both shameful and yet they desperately want it. They resolve this conflict by idealizing the purity of sex with their partner.
The actual reality of all of it might dawn on them once they have a giggle fit after their girl farts in the middle of sex. Or not. I dunno.

But it feels like the same extension of All or Nothing I keep seeing. "If she's not a virgin, she's a used whore!"

And it's fed by the natural tendency for irrational jealousy and disgust the other anon was discussing that I can only barely perceive.

Really, the answer is for people to simply question themselves and their beliefs more often. But most never will.

>>31678368
>I’m not angry at her I’m angry at the situation.
That changes absolutely nothing.

>>31678391
>>31678369
>Nature is trying to course-correct here. Don't encourage some of these guys to resist it.
And I disagree here. Human sexual dynamics haven't followed evolutionary natural selection for a very long time now, arguably since the beginning of agriculture. For most species, nature "self-corrects" by eliminating individuals with genetic diseases, or a physical malformation or weakness that inhibits their ability to adapt to a naturally changing environment. Humans haven't actually had to contend with any of those factors since we've acquired by ability to change our environment and harness natural energy for our own utility.
Today we're mostly driven by sexual selection, which is NOT the same thing as natural selection, nor does it necessarily lead to a better and more genetically fit species. See: peacocks, who literally select for WORSE traits to survive against predators

>>31678410
>sleeping around is shown to cause depression
>nah bro it’s all incel lies keep treating yourself like fuck meat

>>31678413
You can stop replying then if you want to just be vague name fag

>>31678391
>I think there's a point to be made that unlike cravings for specific foods, you have a natural biological desire to procreate for a reason
Yes and no. Actually, sometimes when people are craving very specific foods (not chocolate cake, obviously) it's because their body is low on certain nutrients and instinctively knows where to get them. Like someone running low on iron or vitamin D craving meat or milk or green veggies.
This is trivia though. I completely agree with your larger more important point.

>I also feel like acting like we don't need sex or relationships at all is overcorrecting in the other direction
It is, and it is a slight exaggeration. We do need sex and relationships to have an *optimal* life, which you'll note, is not the same as survival. You can live without them, just maybe not live happily.
Which brings me to my next point: I don't care if a lot of these people live "happily" or not, they often don't deserve it if for no other reason then their poor character which is often loudly on display in these threads. When we say no one needs relationships, we're really saying
>fuck off, stop being a whining faggot and get over it
Which sometimes, they'll (correctly) sus out and seethe at. But if you just come out and tell them that, they get mad at you then too. There's no winning dealing with these people.

>>31678355
>NTA but just because you see something as a necessity doesn't mean you also think you're owed it.
True. This board leaves me jaded sometimes. Usually when I see guys argue that "sex is a necessity", we quickly end up at "I'm owed sex". OP didn't yet make that claim, so I shouldn't have assumed. My bad.
>Love and sex are a basic necessity as are any other relationships we have
I don't know if you're OP, but I really hate the sneakiness of combining "love and sex" as you've done, or "sex and intimacy" as OP's done. It's akin to me claiming that "food and nose rings are necessary for a full human life". It's very hard to deny love and intimacy being required - We're social creatures. Sex shouldn't be snuck in with that. The funny thing about this is that you agree with me, whether or not you consciouspy know it. Look at what you wrote after:
>as are any other relationships we have, whether they be romantic, platonic, or friendly in nature. You are literally incapable of surviving without other people in your life, because being a tribal and a social species means you literally need to be around other people or else you will clinically go insane.
Although you did try to sneak this in:
>A romantic relationship just happens to be one of of those needs in addition to friendly relationships and professional relationships.
Which, I assume, leads to the argument that sex is a necessity for a romantic relationship.

Think of it this way. Food is a necessity. Spinach is not. Spinach is great! But if you never eat spinach in your life, but you make sure your diet is balanced, you will be fine.
>A stronger and more compelling argument would be that you will actually go extinct if you don't have sex and raise children.
Maybe? I'm looking at it from an individual's self development perspective. You're looking at this from a societal level, which may or may not have been the intent.

>>31678403
It’s not healthy but people will still deny sleeping around matters to the health of a relationship. Less partners are always in longer lasting relationships and yes being a virgin is truly ideal for both men and women before marriage

File: 1686343591897598.jpg (96 KB, 640x480)

96 KB JPG

>>31678375
>God name fags really are the biggest attention whores
Yes. Yes they are.

>>31678382
You won't be happy. You're not looking for genuine feedback. You've already gotten it, and deflected it. So now you get me.

Text her now. Tell her to choke on her ex's cock. Then block her.

Happy?

>>31678403
>Like I wanted to be more rough, I wanted to dominate her, make her feel used
Try framing it in a sense of "claiming" her. You're not the first, just the best and last.

>>31678456
Maybe it's more of a me problem and I'm simply abnormal. I know women who have been sucking dick since middle school ( and not hood rats either, girls from good families) and they all have loving bfs/husbands who don't seem to care

>>31678418
>not being a virgin is the same thing as sleeping around but I totally don't have the cognitive distortion of All or Nothing Thinking
Cool story bro

>>31678470
>best and last
Kek yeah until the 7 year itch

>>31678415
>See: peacocks, who literally select for WORSE traits to survive against predators
But the peacock who survives and manages to elude predators, even while dragging those giant clumsy feathers around, has truly proven that he is worthy. That peacock will have the genes to be smarter and faster than the other peacocks who get caught and get eaten, as well as having the good genetic vigor to grow those colors and feathers to their full extent to begin with and mog the other peacocks. So natural selection and sexual selection are often closely intertwined.
It's the same with humans. Someone in here said before that we need sex and relationships because we're a social/tribal species. Ok, sure. But the problem is many of these guys CAN'T socialize, at all, and then they'll fall back on "muh social species" even though the argument is working against them. A guy who can't talk to women, for example, literally doesn't deserve to have a woman for that reason alone (and that's often just the start mind you). He is as unworthy by definition as the peacock who can't grow the long feathers or escape from predators.

>T. a guy who couldn't socialize or talk to women, once...until I learned

>>31678484
Then you dig the 7 foot ditch.

I kid.

>>31678477
If guys are okay with that, and maybe have had their own sexual experiences before meeting their wife, they’re allowed to be fine with that. But I’ve yet to meet any couple who was truly comfortable with their partners past. Ask how many would want them hanging out alone with someone they used to fuck and most will be uncomfortable with it even if they try to trust them

>>31678481
>nah babe I didn’t cheat it was just like two other girls
Brain dead

>>31678493
Well at least you admit it’s bullshit

>>31678489
>A guy who can't talk to women, for example, literally doesn't deserve to have a woman for that reason alone
There’s plenty of men who can’t talk to women who get excused for being hot and still fuck.

>>31678514
Where did you read that? How broken are you?

I was making fun because your post is ridiculous.

>>31678444
>Maybe? I'm looking at it from an individual's self development perspective. You're looking at this from a societal level, which may or may not have been the intent.
I look at it from both, because the thing is people aren't truly "individuals" in the strictest sense. Your entire identity is literally formed by those you keep around you. From birth to early childhood your behavioral patterns and speech are already conditioned and influenced by your upbringing by your parents and the kinds of friends you keep around you, and this process of "socialization" is something that occurs for basically forever. Won't go too much farther into that since it can quickly become irrelevant, but it brings me to my point about sex: you have a natural and inherent desire to procreate and have children because it's our primary form of survival as a species and a tribe, and this is true on an individual level as well as a social level. On a related note, I am OP. Earlier I mentioned doing study abroad. I just came home from living in a country with a population less than 3 million people and will unironically cease to exist and get conquered by Turks if they stopped reproducing and having kids. Sure, this isn't a situation that most western citizens are facing, but the individual desire is still there for the same or similar evolutionary reasons.
>True. This board leaves me jaded sometimes. Usually when I see guys argue that "sex is a necessity", we quickly end up at "I'm owed sex". OP didn't yet make that claim, so I shouldn't have assumed. My bad.
Sure. Maybe I failed to express myself properly? I see sex as a psychological and emotional need that stems from our desire to reproduce, but never claimed I'm owed it by anybody. I don't even blame women for being a virgin! Afterall, I'm a virgin because I self-isolate. Women can't choose or reject me because I'm literally not even an option.

>>31678526
What world do you live in where married couples don’t cheat?

>>31678521
So?

>>31678526
I've seen your name here a lot. What's sadder? The thought that everyone in these threads is just trolling or the realization that they aren't?

>>31678521
Well honestly I'd still root against them, but they at least had something.
Most of these guys aren't hot AND they can't talk to women. So why the hell should they have a woman then?

>>31678470
Kinda what I did I think. I fucked the shit out of her untill she could barely walk, but I still felt empty afterwards. But more of a good empty. She doesn't deserve it tho. She's loving and kind and tender. But life is messy

>>31678529
>either all married couples cheat or none do!
>wtf is All or Nothing Thinking?

>>31678538
Because being hot doesn’t make someone more or less worthy and because hot and being able to talk well aren’t the only two things you should consider in relationship

>>31678489
This is simplistic. Peacocks tend to do well reproductively when other unrelated forces decrease the population of predators. Therefore, their survival is not due to their physical ability "despite lugging those feathers around." It's due to an interconnected series of factors that play in the natural world.

>He is as unworthy by definition as the peacock who can't grow the long feathers or escape from predators
More often than not, when the population of predators is high, all of the peacocks with flashy and showy feathers (the issue is mostly visual, not actually their weight. Good luck outrunning a cheetah) get eliminated and the ones with dull feathers are the ONLY options left, so they reproduce. Then when the population of predators reduce again, it skews back towards the ones with colorful feathers.

>>31678546
>best and last
Incoming that they won’t cheat on you correct?

>>31678532
>What's sadder? The thought that everyone in these threads is just trolling or the realization that they aren't?
Itt? The trolls are sadder. The others are actually trying, mostly.
In /adv/ as whole, the clueless anons are sadder.

>>31678430
Sure. I agree with your broader point and it seems we agree on the more important ideas. I'm just pointing out the limitations of the original idea taken to their fullest extent. I also just think it's a bad argument because technically you don't "need" a lot of things to live. Not even a house. See: Diogenes of Sinope. So if we're being cynical, we don't need the bare minimum amount of nutrition to keep ourselves alive while living in an iron box in a hospital room. But most of us agree this is hardly a fulfilling and "complete" life.

>>31678552
it does, kinda. they're not the only things that matter, but if you're handsome, charming, and fuck her good, a woman will put up with an incredible amount of abuse and neglect

If I'm 26, autistic, a framelet and manlet, have a face that has variously been rated merely average to above average, naturally anxious to the point I've been medicated for it in the past, only now making it through college, struggle to find jobs due to interviews, have no friends, and no social hobbies, am I just fucked?
I need to know if I'm in a place where I can turn my life around and have relationships and an otherwise healthy vibrant social life all my friends, family, and acquaintances managed to have.

>>31678552
>hot and being able to talk well aren’t the only two things you should consider in relationship
I didn't say they are. We're not talking about IN a relationship, I was talking about even getting one. If you've got nothing going for yourself, you're not getting past that elimination round and nor should you.
And actually, this started when >>31678521
(not sure if that's you) said
>get excused for being hot and still fuck
>fuck
So we're not even talking about relationships at all. Let alone who would make good boyfriend/husband material or not.

>>31678584
>it does, kinda. they're not the only things that matter
You’re retarded
> if you're handsome, charming, and fuck her good, a woman will put up with an incredible amount of abuse and neglect
These women are also retarded

>>31678528
There's a lot to clarify here.

>I look at it from both, because the thing is people aren't truly "individuals" in the strictest sense.

You're talking about something different. Yes, individuals are the aggregate of their genetics and surroundings. That's irrelevant to my point.

My point is that at an individual, self improvement level, sex is not a necessity. Something can be good for society yet bad for an individual, vice versa. Having children is great for society. However, if a woman told you that she can have a child, but will face non-fatal, but severe physical and mental repurcussions, you wouldn't (I hope) tell her to have that child. Successful businesses are good for society, but an individual shouldn't waste all their money on games, junk food, etc (I am not claiming these things are bad in moderation).

Sex is not a necessity for an individual. It objectively is not. This can't be argued.

However, given the additional context you provided, I better understand where you're coming from. You seem to be from a culture that places a high value on families and fostering the next generation, which is still a common and reasonable belief outside of the west. What you're trying to understand is why the west preaches that sex isn't necessary when, in your mind, having a family is a responsibility.

To answer your question: I have noticed that in the west, we tend to be more focused on ourselves. We're relatively hedonistic. Our focuses are on our jobs, what we want to do, and ultimately what makes us happy. This has some pros and cons.

The rest of this answer can be very long, but to try keeping it short:
>Our numbers of religious people have been declining, meaning less urgency to form a family
>More women are working, meaning less dependency for a man on a paycheck
>Some men really want women, but don't know how to provide what modern women want, meaning more guys feel sad and lonely
>We want those sad lonely guys to learn to be happy alone

>>31678586
Forget all the other stuff (manlet, face, etc) and focus on the biggie here: your anxious autism.
If you can work through and overcome that, and be able to get through interviews, make friends, etc, then no, you might not be fucked.
If you give up, or cope by focusing on the things you can't change like your height, then yeah, you're fucked.
Wait a second.
>have no friends
>all my friends
Huh? Which is it?

>>31678586
You can make it, but it will take effort.
In order, can you list out what's most important for you to improve?

>>31678604
nah. I've seen intelligent women put up with that too. you underrate the importance of being thrilling to a woman, especially if she's younger, and you also underrate the intensity and superficiality of female desire

>>31678612
I should have specified old friends I've lost contact with.

>>31678614
By far the the psychological issues, they've gotten in the way of fixing the other problems.

File: pep.png (116 KB, 386x396)

116 KB PNG

How to overcome insecurity about your looks?

>>31678607
I'm from the west too, but yes from a religious background. Was born and raised Roman Catholic, and just came back from living in Armenia on a university study abroad trip.

And I disagree. You can't separate the individual need from the social need because one is downstream from the other. A society cannot thrive if the individual needs of its citizens can't be met, and similarly, if social needs aren't met, everyone suffers. If in Armenia, everyone decided to have less children because of bullshit reasons, how exactly does this help the individual when in 10 years as a result of that decision, the country is now occupied by Turkey and Azerbaijan? Additionally, you assume our needs are entirely individual when they are not. We have literally evolved to survive and ensure the continuation of our genetic lineages. If you asked me for my broader views beyond sex and relationships, I'd say having a set of traditions that you can pass down is important too, because your children and your values will be the only thing that remain once your time on the earth have passed. This isn't just a human thing. This a animal kingdom thing, albeit the culture part less so for less sapient creatures.

>However, if a woman told you that she can have a child, but will face non-fatal, but severe physical and mental repercussions, you wouldn't (I hope) tell her to have that child.
Of course, but this is a case of a malformation creating those circumstances just like how incels who can't attract a partner have something wrong with them too.

>We want those sad lonely guys to learn to be happy alone
But what do you actually mean by that? Be happy in the present moment while holding out hope for love and sex and actively trying to attract a partner? Or learning to accept being single as a reality of your life and to be happy being potentially permanently celibate? Isn't the entire message of this thread here that giving up shouldn't ever be an answer?

biological females, how do i know if one of you ladies is actually interested or acting weirded out

>>31678621
I guess I should just stop trying so hard

>female sex drive is lower than men's
One the biggest lies I was ever told

If I had no confidence in myself last year, met a woman, was acquainted with her but didn't know her super well, I'm assuming that it's probably too late to shoot the shot now that I am more respectable, have gotten to know her a bit more and invited me to read a book she's interested in?

>>31678690
no because only a tiny minority of men can get away with being horrible scumbags and still be sexually/romantically succesful. us mere mortals actually have to be good, functioning human beings in order to have lasting relationships ( built on cooperation, mutual trust and understanding, not simply passion, sexual chemistry and drama)

>>31678708
I have no problem getting women to want to fuck me I want a relationship

>>31678677
>You can't separate the individual need from the social need because one is downstream from the other.
Okay. Let's try something different. Let me ask you some questions to try and figure something out.

You just got back from a study abroad trip in Armenia. Why go to Armenia? You said you're from the west. Why not stay in the west and give your money to western universities? When you weren't in class, did you have a job? If not, why not? Your time that's not spent studying should be spent generating revenue for your country. Your time should be exclusively studying, working, and sleeping. Do you save money? Why? Hoarding money is bad for your society. Go buy things. Contribute every dollar to your economy.

Obviously, individuals don't exist in a vacuum, but I take issue with this concept that you can't at all separate the wants of an individual's from the needs of a society.

>>31678711
if she's down to fuck chances are she'll be open to more, unless you're a waking red flag adonis who she knows she hasn't got a snowball chance in hell with. or she's deep in her slut arc, but that's more uncommon than the internet wants you to believe

>met the new neighbour last night
>older petite single MILF
>we both mentioned we each live alone
>she suggested I join the local gym she goes to
>gave her my number and she sent a hello text with 'nice meeting you!'
can I bag this cougar or is she being friendly?

you guys think if i get hair transplants grown in by 33 i can still get a 21-24 year old gf? i dated before but became a shut in for years since the norwood reaper. im working out and improving and learning instruments and languages. i might even be pretty good at all of them by 33 at this rate.

>>31678676
no-one else sees you the way you see yourself
unironically the Patrick Bateman 'there is an idea of me' monologue
I'm not a solipsist but taking that mindset when considering how you look servers me very well. after a while I took it on and it became real confidence and women pick up on it quick

>>31678737
most likely no. at 33 most men are past their physical prime despite what redpill preachers claim. you can't make up for lost time by dating younger. you could sugar for a college girl but that's simply prostitution

the only guy from my friend group who's dating younger, without paying for it in any way, always was handsome and aged like a god. if that's you, maybe

but most likely, no

>>31678718
It was a study abroad program arranged through my university for my language minor. I'm the 30 year old OP from earlier. So technically some of the money did go to my home university.

And yes I work outside of class. I do part time making $25/hour.

I do save money but I also help support local businesses when I can. I live at home because I can't afford rent and because unlike my siblings who have relationships, I'm the only one who's single, so I help out my parents because they're old.

But I get the point you're trying to make. I'd say when you look at those situations in their extremes, they're situations when the needs of society come at the expense of the needs of the individual, but that's not the case for sex and having children. The need and desire for intimacy, love, and sex isn't voluntary. You're literally born with it. You don't wake up and consciously decide to want to have sex or who you're attracted to. It would be better if it were, because then incels wouldn't exist because they simply wouldn't care. If sex was a completely unneeded and purely acquired want, then you wouldn't want it unless you were taught to want it, but this is literally anti science and akin to saying you can just turn off your sexuality.

>Obviously, individuals don't exist in a vacuum, but I take issue with this concept that you can't at all separate the wants of an individual's from the needs of a society.
In a broad sense, yes you're right. But in the context of sex, love, and family formation, it's my position it's both a social and an individual need. You literally wouldn't exist without it.

And do you mind answering my earlier question? What do you actually want those people to do? Learn to be happy single in the moment while holding out hope for sex and relationship? Or to totally accept being permanently single for the rest of their lives?

>>31678762
the truth hurts

>>31678762
Then what should I do if I know I'm going to be unhappy with my actual pool of available partners by the time I'm around 35-40? I waited until later in life to reinvest in myself and work towards my career. I've got two years left in university, and after which it's going to take me another 6-8 years to actually gain financial independence and the ability to buy my own apartment. I've also been chronically single and alone for most of my life because I chose to self isolate and to remove myself from social settings simply because it never came naturally to me. When I was in middle school and high school, I just played video games all day. After I graduated, I did boring dead end 9-5s and otherwise stayed home. All of my friends are people I meet online, and my hobbies are practiced in solitude. I have zero social skills and have no ability to form emotional or basic human connections with women.

So realistically, the soonest I'll be able to date anybody after I work through my professional, financial, and emotional and social skills will be when I'm 36 years old. Is it just over then if I don't want to date a single mom, a divorcee, or someone who went through a "hoe phase" and just wants to settle with me?

>>31678802
nta but i think if you're succesful you can still do 25+ but you gotta work on looks and charm too

>>31678834
I'm not a charming person. I'm just not. I personally think it's a waste of time to attempt to be "charming" because it'll come off as fake and inauthentic and a woman will eventually be able to tell I'm masking after long enough.

Then there's also the part of me that feels I'd rather just give up and be single because apparently I'm not enough.

I was out a couple weeks ago drinking and ran into a friend and his girlfriend along with a couple of his other friends. One of the people was a girl that was old friends with my sister and cousin.
Her and I seemed like we were vibing, but I thought she was with one of the dudes there until I was having a cigarette with my friend and asked if that dude with them earlier was her boyfriend and he said no. I ended up having a little too much to drink and forgot to ask for her number.
I was talking to my brother a few days ago about it and turns out he has her snapchat
Should I ask him for it and add her? If I do what should I say?

>>31678848
yeah you're fucked anon iunno what to tell you. never going to win with that attitude.

>>31678860
>Should I ask him for it and add her?
Yes.

>If I do what should I say?
A calm,cool version of the truth. You thought you were vibing but got drunk and forgot to ask her for her info like a dumbass.
Chat a bit
Ask her out.

There's no confusion about why you're contacting her. Get to the date and talk more then.

>>31678802
Don't prejudge yourself, your pool, or how worthwhile your experiences will be.
Never wait to live life. Live now. Live better tomorrow.

>>31678848
>I personally think it's a waste of time to attempt to be "charming" because it'll come off as fake and inauthentic and a woman will eventually be able to tell I'm masking after long enough.
>Then there's also the part of me that feels I'd rather just give up and be single because apparently I'm not enough.
Well, yes. Giving up is always a choice. It seems odd for that to be your Plan A or even Plan B.

would it be weird to message a girl i went to HS with but never really talked to? i knew her tangentially through friends but i havent been in hs for about 8 years

>>31678766
>So technically some of the money did go to my home university.
Some is not all.
>I do part time
Not enough. Do full + school. It's possible.
>I do save money but I also help support local businesses when I can.
Don't save. Support local business.
>so I help out my parents because they're old.
Hire a caretaker so you can work more.
Okay, I'm done exaggerating.
>But I get the point you're trying to make. I'd say when you look at those situations in their extremes, they're situations when the needs of society come at the expense of the needs of the individual
That's not the point I'm trying to make. The part about it "coming at the expense" if the individual is irrelevant. If I'm following, then our current disagreement entirely depends on if the wants of an individual can be separate from the needs of society. I believe your position was they can not be, so I used the hypotheticals to show that they can. This doesn't mean that they can never cross over. Most individuals want their family and friends to live long lives. They don't want that because it's good for society. However, it also happens to be good for society.

I don't like the use of the word "extremes". It's implying that those examples are exceptions to the rule. They aren't. The "rule" is incorrect.

Since we now seem to agree that you can separate an individual's wants from society's needs, I can answer your questions.
>>31678677
>We want those sad lonely guys to learn to be happy alone
>But what do you actually mean by that?
Keep in mind that we just determined society's needs and an individual's wants are two different concepts. They sometimes match, sometimes don't.

Sex (specifically procreation) is a necessity for society to continue. However, once an individual is born, sex is objectively not a necessity for them to live.
>Isn't the entire message of this thread here that giving up shouldn't ever be an answer?
I'll answer this question in another post. In short, XY problem.

>>31678904
>8 years
I did this 1 year after finals and totally crashed and burned

>>31678766
>>31678677
>Isn't the entire message of this thread here that giving up shouldn't ever be an answer?
I gave you the quick answer to this at the end of >>31678909, so I'll give you the long answer here.

You grew up catholic, and I'm assuming you still have those beliefs. Let's imagine one day, a man walks up to you and asks for help with his faith. This is what he says:
>Can you show me how to do a rain dance? I've been doing my rain dance for 10 years, but God never helps me. Do I need to spin more? Do I need to twerk more? Tell me how to do a rain dance.

Would you show the guy how to do a rain dance? I'm assuming you wouldn't, right? But why?

Most incels that want relationships/sex usually don't want relationships/sex specifically. They want the happiness that they associate with the relationships/sex. They're trying to solve for the problem with an unnecessary solution in the same way that the man in the hypothetical was trying to find God by doing a rain dance.

It's not giving up. It's helping people learn that relationships/sex, as great as they are, aren't the only ways for a person to find happiness. Assuming they're you're only options isn't helpful, just like how assuming you can only reach God by doing rain dances isn't helpful.

>>31678911
how did they respond?

>>31678899
Like I said to that other anon, if I really sit back and do some introspection, asking myself, "would the woman, who I would want to date, with all of the choices that she has, actually want to date me?" And the answer is no. She wouldn't. She could choose either someone younger than me who is more social, outgoing, and has the same life experiences as her, or she can choose someone who's not behind in life and is either my age or similar and not living at home and is actually capable of building a life together.

I don't have any romantic or sexual experiences to speak of. I psychologically don't know what it's like to be emotionally intimate with somebody, how to be vulnerable with somebody, and that lack of experience in combination with a limited to non existent friend circle means over time, my mind has begun to subconsciously disassociate women from love and romance (for me) entirely. The only person I can open up to is my mother. I'm objectively not the person who the people I wanna date are looking for, because they're looking for men who are emotionally mature, confident, and have a successful and complete life they can be welcomed into.

I'm aware that when you're younger, finances are less important for attracting and dating women, but by putting it off for so long, I've now put myself in a situation where I'm actually expected to have financial security and to be established in my career because I'm older. Women my age are already in their careers. They're doctors, lawyers, nurses, educators, and have been living independently for at least 8 years now. What have I been doing besides delayed adulthood in comparison? All I have to my name is a grocery store job, a degree which I haven't finished yet, a beater up car, and strange hobbies no woman can relate to. I put myself on a timeline to start dating at +-35 because I have to start from zero.

There is a girl at work that I'm pretty sure likes me. I didn't like her back at first but she has gradually worn me down and I like her back now. However, it has been over half a year. Is it too late for me to try something?

>>31678938
why you think she likes u

>>31678944
She smiled at him when she said good morning

>>31678944
She used to walk all the way back to my room and go out of her way to say bye to me when work is over. She smiles at me and always tries to talk to me. I was kinda cold to her at first and I regret it.

>>31678950
OMEGALUL called it

>>31678952
OK, does that mean I'm wrong?

>>31678952
going out of her way is at least something

>>31678964
That's if you take his word for "going out of her way". My guess are 1. She needed to report things to him that are better in person instead of emails or 2. It's really not that far.
>>31678962
Men (myself included) are usually either really oblivious to signs from women, or we assume everything is a sign. I think you're the latter.

>>31678909
>However, once an individual is born, sex is objectively not a necessity for them to live.
But I just explained to you why this is a terrible argument. If you argue that same line of reasoning to it's farthest logical absurdity, you don't actually need anything in life beyond a choice of a barrel or a cave, and a supply of barley, because those are the bare minimum essentials you need to actually physically survive, but most people reasonably agree this is not enough for a complete and fulfilling life. Sex and intimacy are not acquired and learned tastes. They are natural and inherent things you are literally conditioned to want on a biological level. This is why every attempt at sexual repression in people, whether suppressing their sexual orientations, or their desires for sex, usually always ends poorly. Trying to force an incel to stop wanting sex is like trying to force an unironic fag to start being straight. You're attempting to recondition people against their natural determined orientation and it's a form of cruelty.

>Since we now seem to agree that you can separate an individual's wants from society's needs, I can answer your questions.
We don't, because I reject individualism as a whole concept. Am individual is a part and member of a community in the same way that a tree is an inherent and interconnected member of a forest. Simply because the needs of an individual tree can be distinguished from the broader needs of the forest as a whole does not follow that they are entirely separate concept whose overlaps are coincidental. The existence of the tree itself is defined by the properties of the forest. Similarly, the very identity and needs of the individual are influenced by the identity of society. They aren't separate things with overlap. They are mutually interconnected branches of a larger whole. A person is to a community as a leg is to a body.

>>31678989
>That's if you take his word for "going out of her way". My guess are 1. She needed to report things to him that are better in person instead of emails or 2. It's really not that far.
No, she literally walked all the way back to my office just to say bye. She works at the front desk.
>Men (myself included) are usually either really oblivious to signs from women, or we assume everything is a sign. I think you're the latter.
Maybe so and it would honestly be refreshing if I knew you were right

>>31678909
(2/2)
>It's not giving up. It's helping people learn that relationships/sex, as great as they are, aren't the only ways for a person to find happiness. Assuming they're you're only options isn't helpful, just like how assuming you can only reach God by doing rain dances isn't helpful
Except this is reductionist and overlooks that the need for social connection and emotional companionship of varying forms is an established need for psychological health as a person. The very definition of being a social creature is that our needs are inherently interconnected. Therefore you severely underestimate the effect that deprivation of relationships has on even the most well adjusted and healthy individuals. People who have friendships but no romantic connections won't be as happy for the same reason people who DO have romantic connections but no platonic friendships won't be as happy. They are literally things we naturally seek out as a direct result of our biology. To say anything else is being dishonest.

File: download.jpg (8 KB, 198x180)

8 KB JPG

>>31677176
the only way that worked for me

If you're having some decent success, and you're looking to find the right girl to eventually start a family with, how the fuck do you pick one to get more serious with? I'm at the point where I'm dating 5 different girls, it's pretty much taking all my time, and when I'm out with them I'm constantly worried about bumping into the others. It's not a big city, and I think if I carry this on I could fuck my reputation a bit. This isn't a problem I thought I would have, and now it feels like I have to pick soon or gamble on finding a girl that's a better match than all of them. When it's going well with multiple girls, and they each have some great qualities and nothing about them is putting you off, what really matters to you?

>>31679070
simple
deathmatch
also you're a massive retard btw

>>31679077
how am i a retard?

>>31679000
If we're going to continue, we need to start agreeing on definitions.
>Need/necessity - A near absolute requirement for someone to survive. You need food. You need water.
>Want - A desire that someone has. This desire may or may not also be a need. You want water because you need it. You want to go to school to improve yourself, but it isn't a need for survival.
>If you argue that same line of reasoning to it's farthest logical absurdity, you don't actually need anything in life beyond a choice of a barrel or a cave, and a supply of barley
Okay, so in your own words, sex isn't a need. I won't be autistically pedantic, so for the sake of not being an ass, I will state that you're correct: All you need for survival is the above. On an individual level, sex is a want. This is something you literally just described. The reason I don't like on bare necessities is because I don't want to.
>They are natural and inherent things you are literally conditioned to want on a biological level.
I'm talking with a Catholic, correct? Doesn't the bible teach about a plethora of things someone could want, but doesn't need? Coveting another man's wife? To be clear, I'm not morally comparing adultery to procreative sex. For this argument, it's irrelevant that procreative sex is a "good" and adultery is a "bad". The point is very simple and very, very strict: A want, whether natural or learned, isn't a need by default.
>Trying to force an incel to stop wanting sex is like trying to force an unironic fag to start being straight.
I should have elaborated on this better. My argument was that incels don't want sex, they want the happiness they associate with sex. How do I arrive at this conclusion?

If sex is truly the only thing they want, then the obvious solution is a prostitute. Most incels never consider prostitution. Why? Because what they're actually looking for isn't simply sex. They're looking for something more, but they don't know exactly what. Continued in next.

>>31679000
Recap: If incels want sex, why not pay a prostitute?
It's because sex isn't the specific thing they're looking for. They're looking for the fulfillment they associate with sex. Reread the rain dance example I gave you. When the man asks you how to do a good rain dance, he is asking you the wrong question. What he's looking for is God, but he's looking in the wrong way.
>Am individual is a part and member of a community
Nobody denies this. As we established earlier, you save money despite the fact it would be better for society if you put that money back into the economy. This is an objective example of your personal wants being different from the needs of society. Keep in mind that different (if I'm using it correctly) doesn't mean contrasting. Salmon is different from Tuna, but both are fish. You and I are both (I assume) humans, but we are different beings. Runners in a race have the exact same goals, but they are two different runners.

The wants of an individual exist are a distinct desire from the needs of society. This doesn't mean they can't overlap, but they are objectively different. Your desire to be here discussing this with me is time you couldspend working, which your society needs.

A tree in a forest is part of the forest, but is still a distinct tree.
>>31679009
>Except this is reductionist and overlooks that the need for social connection and emotional companionship of varying forms is an established need for psychological health as a person.
Stop combining relationships and sex. Relationships are one thing and sex is another. Relationships are closer to being an individual need than sex is.
>Therefore you severely underestimate the effect that deprivation of relationships has on even the most well adjusted and healthy individuals.
No, I am not. Stop combining sex and relationships. You claim sex is needed, but then describe why relationships are needed.

if you're wired to want sex or love or whatever it might be something you can't really resist thinking about and wanting, and trying to do so will only result in a mental breakdown later. Mating is probably one of the biggest things in this regard short of food and water. You probably need shelter less to be happy realistically. You used to know that as a kid that's why you watched media of people exploring new worlds or on road trips, and falling in love.

Also, I just realized
>>31679000
>If you argue that same line of reasoning to it's farthest logical absurdity, you don't actually need anything in life beyond a choice of a barrel or a cave, and a supply of barley
This is correct.
>>31678528
>you have a natural and inherent desire to procreate and have children because it's our primary form of survival as a species
This is also correct.

Meaning that, in your own words, sex is not a need for an individual, but is a need for a society. Although my argument is that an individual's wants are different from a society's needs, you literally just pointed out that an individual's needs are different from a society's needs. That's not the same argument I was making, but you're not necessarily wrong about that. Keep in mind different doesn't mean they never line up. It just means they are not the exact same thing.

>>31679114
>if you're wired to want sex or love or whatever it might be
It's not "whatever". Love is much closer to being a necessity that sex is for an individual.
>you can't really resist thinking about and wanting, and trying to do so will only result in a mental breakdown later.
Then why don't incels get prostitutes? Heck, modern day Only fans girls and other porn stars are so experienced, they can give these incels high quality sex.

>>31679153
*Love is much closer to being a necessity **than** sex is for an individual.

>>31679112
>Stop combining relationships and sex. Relationships are one thing and sex is another. Relationships are closer to being an individual need than sex is.

We're talking about romantic and intimate relationships of which sex is an integral and an essential part, especially at the beginning. This is both a physiological and emotional need both on an individual and social level. Yeah, when you divorce them into completely separate topics, then it becomes a separate thing altogether. I'm specifically talking about people who want someone to hold hands with, to cuddle with, to share emotional and vulnerable moments with, and yes to have sex with, and this being the person you ideally want to do all of those things with for the rest of your life. I'm not talking about people who just want to have uncommitted casual sex.

>Nobody denies this. As we established earlier, you save money despite the fact it would be better for society if you put that money back into the economy.
These are not mutually opposed alternatives. It is true that it is good for society and the economy when I spend my money, but at the same time if I spend all of my money and keep no savings, then I can't live anymore, and therefore can't spend and be a productive member of society anymore. Ergo, when my personal individual needs aren't met, society suffers too, so it's actually not better for society for me to keep no savings and spend everything at once. Again, another example of how the needs of the individual can influence the needs of society and vice versa.

>What he's looking for is God, but he's looking in the wrong way
I know and understand the example you're trying to make, but I don't feel it's a good example because not doing a rain dance doesn't put you at distance from God in the same way not participating in romantic relationships and sex put you at distance from complete happiness and fulfilment. A better example would be if you asked about charity or prayer.

>>31679153
no it is whatever because their are other strategies competing against love and also mutant humans

>>31679174
there*

ADVICE NEEDED

Background: I'm am autism

Question: A girl I'm dating asked me "did you want to come over for dinner Saturday?"

Does this mean come over to her house for dinner or does it mean come over to her neighbourhood and go to a resturant with her?
Hoping it's her place but I don't want to misinterpret. How should I respond?

>>31679080
>I'm talking with a Catholic, correct?
(2/2) Yes, and scripture literally regards celibacy as a sacrifice and childlessness as a curse. When the disciples chose to forfeit marriage and sex to pursue a life following in Jesus' footsteps, it is seen as a sacrifice. Something can't be a sacrifice if it's non essential or unimportant, which is the idea I'm challenging from the beginning.

>If sex is truly the only thing they want, then the obvious solution is a prostitute. Most incels never consider prostitution. Why? Because what they're actually looking for isn't simply sex. They're looking for something more, but they don't know exactly what. Continued in next.
On this I'd say the experience is individual and not shared. There's a lot of nuance you're overlooking. I've certainly encountered some "incel" types who frequent prostitutes and eventually became content just making annual trips to Vegas to bang hookers. They convince themselves that all relationships are transactional anyways, unconditional love doesn't exist, and therefore they're not missing out on anything.

I self identify as an incel, because I'm celibate despite having a strong desire to both have sex and an emotionally fulfilling romantic relationship. But that's where the similarities between me and what most people think of an incel end. I don't blame women for me being a virgin. I'm a virgin entirely due to my own choices and my consistent decision to deliberately isolate myself from social situations and potential romantic encounters because of anxiety. But when I think of what I want from a relationship, it's not just sex itself. It's the hand holding, the moments of emotional intimacy and vulnerability, the comfort of someone valuing unconditionally, someone to cuddle with at night, and yes sex. I have a high libido but when I masturbate, I always think about the cuddling part as much as I do the actual lust and physical desire part, so the experience is clearly not universal.

>>31679188
to her house
bring a bottle of something and condoms

OP here
How the fuck did you guys burn through 3/4 of this thread's life in 7 hours?
The last one lasted four days...

>>31679170
>which sex is an integral and an essential part
Meaning it is not one and the same. Relationships are one thing. Romantic relationships are a type of relationship. Sex is a normal part of a romantic relationship. We agree that relationships are basically necessary to live. I assume we'd agree that kissing is part of romantic relationships. Does this then mean that kissing is a necessary to live? It feels very sneaky to keep saying sex is necessary because it's part of a romantic relationship, which is a type of relationship, and relationships are necessary. Food is necessary. Fried chicken is food. Would you also claim that fried chicken is necessary?
>I'm specifically talking about people who want someone to hold hands with, to cuddle with, to share emotional and vulnerable moments with, and yes to have sex with...I'm not talking about people who just want to have uncommitted casual sex.
Holy fucking shit THEN SPECIFY THAT!

You're close to correct now. Incels think they just want sex, but what they actually want is the fulfillment they associate with sex. For the moment, let's just call that fulfillment a "romantic relationship". If that's what they actually want, then my goal is to convince them that sex isn't what they're chasing, a romantic relationship is. If they want sex, find a high quality prostitute.
>but at the same time if I spend all of my money and keep no savings, then I can't live anymore, and therefore can't spend and be a productive member of society
This isn't true if you spend exactly what you make. Nothing more, nothing less. The assumption is that you'd spend it on things you need to live.
>Again, another example of how the needs of the individual can influence the needs of society
Okay, that's not what that example proved, but this is funny because you said the individual's needs influence society's needs, implying that they are separate needs. Again look at >>31679144. That not my point, but it is similar.

>>31679232
Looks like autistic paragraphs being thrown around in “debate” as usual

>>31679235
>Holy fucking shit THEN SPECIFY THAT!
Anon, this whole thing started because another anon asked about reddit advice saying relationship too are optional and not necessary to live a fulfilling part. So I would have assumed all that other stuff was a given too besides the sex part.

>>31679215
Thank you

That's what my plan was. I'll pack an overnight bag

>>31679170
>but I don't feel it's a good example because not doing a rain dance doesn't put you at distance from God ...A better example would be if you asked about charity or prayer
YOU CAN'T TELL ME IT'S NOT A GREAT EXAMPLE THEN PROVE WHY IT'S A GREAT EXAMPLE! You're right! Prayer is a better way of connecting to God. In fact, it's the correct way of connecting to God! If you want a good romantic relationship, only thinking about sex is not the way to do it. I'm not convinced you understand how incels think. They are very focused on sex, but want they actually want is the fulfillment associated with sex.
>>31679193
>and scripture literally regards celibacy as a sacrifice...Something can't be a sacrifice if it's non essential or unimportant
My friend...you NEED to stop forcefully combining distinct concepts. Essential and important do not mean the same thing. It is important to you that you get an education, but an education is not essential to your survival.

A sacrifice can be important, but it doesn't need to be essential. You sacrificed your time by travelling abroad, but you weren't at risk of dying if you didn't. Just because the bible considers something a sacrifice to not do something doesn't mean that thing is or is not essential.
> I've certainly encountered some "incel" types who frequent prostitutes
Correct, which is why I used the word "most", not "all".

>>31679299
>My friend...you NEED to stop forcefully combining distinct concepts. Essential and important do not mean the same thing. It is important to you that you get an education, but an education is not essential to your survival.
Okay but this is kind of a moot point because the original OP was asking about advice given mostly to men which states that BOTH sex AND romantic relationships are non essential to a happy life and entirely optional. As in, you don't need either, the sex part, OR the romantic relationship part to live a "complete life."

I agree with you that an over focus on sex independent of true emotional intimacy is putting the cart before the horse but the general idea that gets told is you don't need relationships to be happy because you're happy and independent without them. That's the reddit therapy advice OP was asking about

>>31679249
Part of my answer is easily verifiable. The rest is intuitive based on having direct experience communicating with incels.
>this whole thing started because another anon asked about reddit advice saying relationship too are optional
Incorrect, at least partly. Anon started the question using the word relationships. However, the specific part anon claimed was optional was sex. >>31677540
>[I] have no idea when people began to get the idea that our limbic systems aren't an essential part of us, sex is absolutely optional and not needed in life, and "you don't NEED relationships bro."
Then, >>31677657 responded with:
>It's pretty alarming that you seem to reduce all happiness derived from relationships into sex.
Intuitively, I don't blame him for doing this. Incels often overvalue sex and make it seem much larger than life, so >>31677657 was right to immediately call out that out in my opinion. From there, >>31677840 made the claim that both sex and intimacy are needed. The very FACT that he tried to fuse sex and intimacy into the same claim is what >>31678099 teased here:
>>It's pretty alarming that you seem to reduce all happiness derived from relationships into sex.
>I don't. I recognize sex and continue to focus and talk about sex sex sexity sex sex sex S E X ....sex
Even >>31677857 and >>31677931 addressed it (I'm assuming it's the same person) by agreeing with the chocolate cake analogy, although wasn't aware that >>31677886 really likes fusing things. If he was aware, he probably would have clarified that sex specifically is the chocolate cake, but relationships (the broad category, not the funny definition >>31677886 keeps flip flopping) are basically necessary.

In short: OP's been using funny definitions and fusing words that should not be fused..

>>31679399
>but the general idea that gets told is you don't need relationships to be happy because you're happy and independent without them.
Then I need to see specific examples of exactly what OP is talking about on Reddit because either OP is retarded and misinterpreting, Reddit is retarded at helping incels, or both.

>I agree with you that an over focus on sex independent of true emotional intimacy is putting the cart before the hors
Did you notice how when OP described relationships, he said:
>>I'm specifically talking about people who want someone to hold hands with, to cuddle with, to share emotional and vulnerable moments with, and yes to have sex with.
Which describes multiple important facets of a relationship, which sure, includes sex?

Notice how every fucking time OP claimed that relationships are important, OP didn't claim
>relationships and cuddling is needed
or
>relationships and holding hands is needed
or
>Relationships and vulnerability is needed

Isn't it, at the very least, INTERESTING that every fucking time OP claimed that relationships are needed (which I roughly agree with), OP would SPECIFICALLY tack on sex? Is that not interesting?

Maybe the Reddit advice is dogshit. I don't know. But to be honest, based on the way OP has misinterpreted my point, and the anons before me, I'm skeptical that OP's retelling of those Reddit posts is accurate.

>>31679412
Fucking Christ we wasted a thread then because of too many different retards chiming in with different opinions without clarifying their definitions.

Then yeah, I mostly agree. My parents are long past the age where sex is a major part of their lives yet they continue to live together and their marriage is as strong as ever.

So would you say then that the advice is only halfway true depending on what part we're talking about? It's less true if we're talking about emotional connection and romantic partnership as a whole concept, but more true if you focus on sex?

Because the original reason why I posted was to get this clarified then ask about my own situation. I'm the 30s anon who's insecure about dating because of not having any sexual or romantic experiences and living at home. I self identify as an incel because I'm celibate despite wanting a relationship. But I specifically want a girlfriend and hopefully a life partner, not just casual hookups or FWBs. Is sex important to me? I guess yeah, at least in the beginning. But I'm okay with a hypothetical partner and I having less sex say when I'm 50 and she's 40s, or after she gives birth and has post partem depression.

>>31679468
yeah it's normal to kinda of want an average human life. im still like half bluepilled but the world definitely got libtarded and went insane for like 10 years at least. studies now show again women like rich men with flashy shit. maybe try to move out if you can. but if you got the rizz you can make anything work.

>>31679468
>>31679463
>OP didn't claim
>relationships and cuddling is needed
>or
>relationships and holding hands is needed
>or
>Relationships and vulnerability is needed

>Isn't it, at the very least, INTERESTING that every fucking time OP claimed that relationships are needed (which I roughly agree with), OP would SPECIFICALLY tack on sex? Is that not interesting?

Okay then yeah I agree the original choice of wording was poor. If anything the one physical thing that's more important to me than sex in a relationship is cuddling and other forms of physical touch in general, like hugs and kisses. I've always felt a deep seated need for emotional intimacy and find myself longing for the cuddling part more than the actual sex part. I can want sex when I'm horny, but once I blow my load, I still want cuddling. in fact, it helps me sleep better.

>>31679468
Okay, I'm going to forget everything before this and treat this as a completely new question.
>I am an incel. What should I do?
Step 1. Stop calling yourself an incel. I know this is ironic since I've been so strict on definitions this entire conversation but...the literal definition of an incel doesn't match what modern incels are. I won't waste your time on what they are. Please just trust me.
Step 2. Yes, try to focus less on sex. Why? This is very difficult to convey, but women can just.... tell when you're looking for sex. Again, please just trust me. Women would rather be with a guy that has something going for him than a guy waiting for someone to complete him.
Step 3. Make yourself dateable. Would you rather date a woman that feels useless without fucking you, or a woman that has career dreams and financial goals that you can work towards together? If you're looking for a while person to date, become a whole person yourself.
Step 4. Go to bars or parks two cities over. Talk to women. You will fuck up. You will feel awkward. But you need to learn. You are at a bit of a disadvantage with no experience, but it's not impossible.

>>31679479
Moving out isn't an option right now because it's expensive in my area and I'm currently making $25/hour working a grocery store job while studying in college. Besides, I'm the oldest of my siblings and the only one without a relationship, so I also help out my parents at home since they're getting old and I need to save money.

There's a lot of emotional help I need because despite feeling insecure about living at home and not working a career with status yet, there's also another part of me that thinks I would feel very jaded if I actually got what I wanted, got my dream job and house, and only then women start being interested in me. It would feel like the whole thing is transactional and conditional on what I have rather than me as a person. This is also specifically why I don't go for gold diggers or prostitutes.

>>31679510
>Women would rather be with a guy that has something going for him than a guy waiting for someone to complete him.
Maybe it's just because I'm approaching this from a perspective that's (ironically) not too terminally online but what do you mean specifically by "completing him?" I want a family with kids and I think a family that's missing any of its members isn't "complete," so I guess I'm looking for a woman to have a complete family?

I get that many online feel like they need to put their whole lives on hold until they have sex and a relationship but I can acknowledge that's unhealthy without adopting this whole "total self sufficiency I don't need nobody in my life to be complete" mentality. My family, my (limited) friends, and my siblings and community are a part of me. I literally wouldn't be "complete" without them because they literally make me into the person I am today. My wife will be a part of me just as my mom and dad are parts of each other now after 30 years of marriage.

>>31679511
i make like the same as you and live in a studio apartment in a nice area but save money til college is done i guess

>>31679572
After college I'm getting my PPL, IFR, then my CPL which is going to cost me northwards of $100000. I literally can't afford to pay rent while I pursue my career. Where I'm at, the cheapest rent is like $2k a month. It sucks

Been seeing this woman for about 6 weeks. We've been messaging every day through that time. But i messaged her yesterday and got no reply. What do i do? What does it mean? I saw her a couple of days ago and had a great time...

Holy shit.
The question was answered eight hours ago.

>>31677176
Alright guys I'm gonna need some advice from the old dogs here. Context: not a westerner but I am European and from a relatively westernized culture.
> Bad experience in elementary, not a big deal, I couldn't wait to get it over with
> High school was meh, had a few dates when I changed schools, didn't lead anywhere but then again I wasn't really emotionally mature to connect with girls
> College started, had 2 girlfriends, it was cut short because of family issues + covid
> Didn't graduate but still got hired at s solid job and quit my porn addiction, made some money, bought 2 cool bikes and a ton of hardware I needed
> Got fired from that place
I'm probably never gonna work in an office anymore, I'm a self taught welder and got the certs, pretty good at it and will probably get hired at a factory soon, the issue is there's no fuggin way for me to meet women at this stage of life (late 20s) because I don't really go out to clubs and approaching just doesn't exist here, I've never seen it happen in my life and I've been alive for long enough.
I look alright and I'm not autistic, I don't have a lot of expectations or serious plans for women I'd meet irl, I'm fine with either hooking up or finding a future wife
How do I use circumstances to meet girls?
I have no issues with flirting or being generally an attractive guy, but I do have an issue with finding female friends after school snd college

>>31679665
she met someone just like you but with slightly better shoelaces

>>31675439
Okay, I asked and got rejected. He was nice about it though. Sigh, well life goes on. At least I was brave about it and I kinda expected it already.

>>31679887
I'm that anon
Congrats on your attempt and don't beat yourself up over it too much

>>31678733
boomp
thingken of asking about any town events or functions

Girl hugged me around neck and nestled in good. She kinda dragged my head down to her level. Squeezed me pretty hard it was uncomfortable on my Adam's apple. I'm about 7 inches taller. What does this mean?

It's been nightmare hell mode for me lately. I keep getting "date girls your own age" from women. I went on a date yesterday, for instance:
> Shopping at a store
>Ask custy service girl about price of thing I'm looking at
>She tells me to wait there while she checks, in a way that makes me feel really at ease
>Comes back and tells me the price, I tell her she's cute and we just kinda flow into a great conversation
>Ask her if she wants to get coffee after work, she says yes
>Meet up with her, drive her to a coffee shop
>Got a sandwich and tea. She immediately bags the sandwich, alarm bells go off
>Someone she knows appears with her bf behind us, they're speaking in Ukrainian, I introduce myself since she didn't. They say hi and continue to talk in Ukrainian
>Bored, I go sit down
>10 minutes pass, still talking, I'm sitting alone
>Consider leaving, but she has the sandwich and I want it
>Confused as fuck never been in this situation
>Finally she comes back and I'm totally out of the mood of talking to her, kinda pissed
>We decide to leave, get in my car
>Asks my age, says her friends bf is 20 years older, I'm 13 years older than her.
>End the date after I drop her off, no kiss, she's totally eating the sandwich we were supposed to share by herself
>Try to set up 2nd date
>Tells me we're not going out, and find a girl your age

That one really pissed me off, I don't usually buy anything more than a $3-4 thing on dates but we were jiving I thought. I'm acting too nice, but that's just how I am. I want to start hissing at girls, calling them hoes, bitches, when they ask my age I want to say I'm a man, that's all you need to know, let's go and grab her hand. They always want to ask my age. I KNOW I'm handsome. I get compliments more than most guys, but they give me this shit test and I play along and fall for it every time when I should just grab them and treat them like a toy. I've done it before, I've been more animalistic

>>31680097
Idk but I had a girl straddle me on a couch that stopped mid back, and despite her having an amazing body, wearing fishnets and a skirt, I couldn't help but think about how badly she was hurting my neck so I just stood and picked her up. You think she likes me?

>>31680098
Firstly, nice work with the cold approach. Most guys don't attempt them.
Secondly, you've just encountered the main problem with cold approach. You know little detail about the girl. You didn't know she was a cunt. You're down a sandwich, but you got to practice so when you do find the right girl, you'll ace it. Bretty gud anon.

>>31680097
>>31680109
These fucking autists. I don't know how you even get into these situations. Any close contact means a girl likes you.

>>31680098
> date girls your own age
No, date women you're attracted to. Date women your age, older or younger, doesn't matter, date who you like. First let's get that out of the way, not everybody's on the same maturity level.
Alright
Your date was weird but alright, she could've been a freeloader, a hooker or just plain dumb
> Cold approach
Don't, you don't talk TO people, you talk WITH people, you create, use or engage in circumstances that make it more reasonable to talk to you and then you ask someone to hang out later.
> I'm acting too nice, but that's just how I am. I want to start hissing at girls, calling them hoes, bitches, when they ask my age I want to say I'm a man, that's all you need to know, let's go and grab her hand. They always want to ask my age.
You don't, you act and behave how you feel. Don't mask your mood.
You think that girl you're talking to is cute and nice? Reciprocate.
You see a slut that you want to fuck but are otherwise disgusted by her? Ignore or act like an asshole if that's how you'd feel
Shit tests are compliments btw and real compliments rarely mean anything

>>31679215
Thanks again

You were right, it is her place and the messages between us are going well

>just hit 30, coming out of a 5 year long relationship
>mope around for a few weeks/months, not knowing what to do
>meet a girl at the liberary. she's reading french literature and philosophy
>she gives me the eyes, I approach, we hit it off
>she's only 20
>start dating for a few weeks
>start fucking, she's not experienced at all
>yesterday the idea of a relationship comes up, she said ' I don't see you as 30, I just see you as yourself'
>she's pretty, smart and we can talk the whole night through
>we're both really in love but I'm still unsure how to proceed

should I give it an honest shot?

>>31680773
That sounds great, I'd go for it
Question about "the eyes", how do you tell if she's interested? Does she look at you in a specific way or?

>>31679735
You have to make excuses to meet women, be around people, and increase your proximity to potential partners.
Some of this advice is adjacent to approaching. Like my usual advice of taking solitary hobbies out into public.

But if your culture is one where strangers in public never randomly chat with each other, then you need to put yourself in places where you can talk to others freely. Clubs and bars are the places where women expect to get hit on. But any place where you can meet people and talk could work.

Historically, a single person would get matched up by friends and family. That's becoming replaced with online dating. Either way you need to find ways and excuses to interact with people.

>>31680880
Strangers do talk sometimes but it's to kill time, not date or hit on each other, clubs aren't a thing anymore, at least not for us older than 25.
Go out with coworkers and get hammered in bars? Thst would make some sense but I'd be playing on luck.
Any other ideas?

>>31680823
combination of body language and eye contact. a woman gives you a nonverbal inviation if she wants to be approached. she'll open up her body, smile, put herself in your viccinity. but it's still up to you to make the move

in my case, she came next to me to read something, giving me the perfect opening 'what are you reading?'. women will make it easy for you if they're attracted, but you still have to make the fist move

File: 8y1gs5 (1).jpg (103 KB, 500x768)

103 KB JPG

>>31680098
>Finally she comes back and I'm totally out of the mood of talking to her, kinda pissed
Understandable. Ignoring your date to chat with friends is pretty inexcusable behavior on a date. Like a moment to greet and disengage at most

>End the date after I drop her off, no kiss
Obviously no kiss. It was a terrible date.

>She immediately bags the sandwich, alarm bells go off
>she's totally eating the sandwich we were supposed to share by herself
Okay, what the actual fuck?
Who the fuck *shares* one sandwich? I mean, I'm 45 years old and I've literally never heard of anyone choosing to share one sandwich. If you only have one, sure. But specifically buying one to share? Who does that? Is this an actual thing? Like milkshakes in the 1950's America? Wtf?

>Tells me we're not going out, and find a girl your age
It was a bad date. She didn't like you and was being dismissive of you.

>I don't usually buy anything more than a $3-4 thing on dates
That sounds incredibly cheap to me. But I suppose meeting for coffee is about that.

>I want to start hissing at girls, calling them hoes, bitches
Let that shit go. That's the path of the Incel. The next girl isn't the last girl.

>when they ask my age I want to say I'm a man, that's all you need to know, let's go and grab her hand.
Honestly not a bad deflection. But your age matters.

>They always want to ask my age.
Of course they do, it matters. For one, a 30 something guy specifically chasing younger girls is a red flag. An older guy who acts like he's young is weird. A n older guy acting like an immature jackass is likely never going to grow up.
>t. weird older guy

>I'm handsome.
Irrelevant.

>they give me this shit test
Them getting to know you and understand what you do and why you do what you do at your age is not "a shit test".

>I should just grab them and treat them like a toy. I've done it before, I've been more animalistic
If that's what you both want, fine. But you can't assume that's what they want.

>>31680773
>should I give it an honest shot?
Absolutely.

>>31677176
Just be young, good looking and not completely autistic. Being young will put you in environments where you can meet women, like school, clubs, travelling, etc. That's literally it. If you're ugly, old and retarded you're fucked. Move to Asia or something lol. There's no game or secret tricks to getting women, literally be attractive and be in situations where you meet women. If you're not receiving good amount of romantic and sexual interest from the opposite gender you're ugly. If you've never had a girl show her tits on webchat within five minutes you're ugly. Etc. You'll know if you got it or not. Anything else is cope. There's ways to fix yourself if you're ugly but this website will never help you. I won't say where to go but maybe you'll find it eventually on your own

>>31680098
You're too ugly if age is an issue. You were good looking enough to have initial interest but your looks weren't good enough to overcome stigma that comes with age gaps. Zoomer women are incredibly ageist, so most guys are utterly fucked because they're too old. Get better and look younger or something. Lie about your age next time if you want to fuck.

>>31680098
Lol I read your story, you're fucking retarded mate. She was never interested and wanted free lunch. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

File: cave-girl-2024742_1280.png (318 KB, 946x1280)

318 KB PNG

>>31680891
>Strangers do talk sometimes but it's to kill time, not date or hit on each other
Well that's the thing about cold approaching, it's got a very low success rate because you have to randomly stumble into a person who is attractive, receptive, single, compatible, and willing to date a stranger. And you have to uncover this in a few minutes of casual chat. It's a lottery combined with a skill challenge but it's amazing fun and practice.

>clubs aren't a thing anymore, at least not for us older than 25
Yeah. I still go but not expecting to hookup.

>Go out with coworkers and get hammered in bars?
Maybe not hammered? It's better not to get sloppy.

>I'd be playing on luck
When are we not?

>Any other ideas?
There are classes and social hobbies and interests. It's probably best to consider the type of woman you want, what kind of activities she'd enjoy, and try to find excuses to socially engage in group activities doing it. My friend meets women running and at shows with mixed results.

>>31679945
Thanks bro, I appreciate it. At first I felt down and still do but at the same time I was proud how I handled it. No ill-will towards him either, he was pretty chill about it and was very nice. I did start to beat myself about it first but then I immeaditely told myself not to worry about something so natural. Especially since I was very polite and took the answer very gracefully. Made sure we were alone too so I wouldn't embarrass him either. Well, now he has something to joke about with his friends and probably got an ego-boost out of it. I just have to wait for the one, who truly sees me for me.

>>31681027
maybe I should. there's genuine attraction. we fucked like 5 times in one day and she iniated most of the time. she's always jumping on me

we talked about culture, art, literature, had sex a few times, went out and danced tango ( srsly). it was a great day. but being in love can blind you to the realness of things

>>31681053
Your personality seems ugly

>>31681069
>I was proud how I handled it. No ill-will towards him either
>I was very polite and took the answer very gracefully.
You did well. I'm proud of you.

If I get cheated on I'll decapitate the girl. I only work like a slave to pay for pussy, so if I get cheated on I have to kill you. Not my fault because I'm entitled to marry a virgin that didn't get slutted out or corrupted by the modern world and I didn't get that. If I get cheated on I'm going to decapitate the girl and kill the guy too. I'm a filthy animal and the only thing of value i provide is slave labor.

>>31681077
>being in love can blind you to the realness of things
I recently had to spend a great deal of time moving forward slowly with a girl because on paper it was insanely stupid and we both wanted run headfirst into infatuation fueled mayhem. I'm glad I took the time to pay attention to ensure that genuine love and affection were built instead of it being a flash fire of need and obsession.
Just grow together and build a connection while you're riding the wave of infatuation and when the infatuation fades you'll be left with something real.

>>31681083
You appearance is your personality. You can tell if a man is aggressive and assertive just from his face. You can also see if someone is useless by the same metric too.

>>31681116
it's so alluring and addictive tho. I'm more of passionate short-term thinking risk-taker too, so taking it slow almost goes against my nature. I think that's what attracts women to me in the first place, but what at the same time makes a stable relationship more hard

I'll try to temper it somewhat tho. this girl seems worth a shot

>>31681053
>not completely autistic
theres always a catch..

>>31681114
Fortunately, to get cheated on, you'd need to be likeable enough to be in a relationship. So no worries!

Seriously though, do you know how hard decapitation is? To do it with a blade you need a heavy sharp axe, several swings, positioning the neck is wonky if they're out, they squirm if they're not... A really great blade might do it but you don't use one to hack through bone. That's disrespectful to the blade. Obviously, the best method is with a quality saw, preferably a handsaw as getting blood splatter out of a power saw is a pain in the fucking ass.
But using a handsaw might just be a subjective thing. I enjoy the exercise and the satisfying vibration of the saw grating deeper through the bone. That's just me and my taste.
And obviously it's best to drain the blood first but to do it properly you need the right set up with a hook that can hold the weight and ideally a chain pulley in a room with a floor drain. So ultimately when you cut, the body will be a dripping mess that's not great for power tool maintenance. And if they're alive, that arterial blood spray is fucking ridiculous. You can't predict that shit. The slightest variance can alter the pinch of the artery and twist it in an angle. At least with a slice, you know that it is going up and forward because that's the only path.

Honestly, decapitation is dramatically overrated.
Highlander was cool though. Sean Connery was the only good thing in the sequel.

>>31681155
Well, more important than taking it slow is being completely self aware.

If for example, you're both incredibly sexual, being aware if your relationship is just sex and quiet moments in between sex. For me, the girl made me incredibly happy and gave me a tremendous psychological boost. I needed to separate that from my affection for her as a person. Now that we're not seeing each other any more, the boost is gone but the affection is as strong as ever because I built it up and formed a connection.

>>31681208
very true. I don't think we're simply sexual, more just intense and passionate. we have animated discussions that go on for hours, sometimes veering into quarreling. everything we do, whether it's cerebral or sexual, is so intense. I think that's what makes me wary, that the passion of it will wear us down with time. that it's not sustainable

File: imagem_2024-07-24_142723816.png (397 KB, 378x602)

397 KB PNG

What are foids trying to get out of posting such IG stories?

>>31681208
homo. You cried in front of her and she left you. You can't give advice on how to date girls if you're a gay guy. Just have money and look good. Easy answer. Quit setting incels up to get robbed.

>>31681255
The question is what will remain if the passion wanes.
Seems full of potential though.>>31681290
>homo. You cried in front of her and she left you. You can't give advice on how to date girls if you're a gay guy.
Lame fanfic

>Quit setting incels up to get robbed.
Why?

>>31680098
I think 13 years is too big a gap. You can keep trying for girls that much younger, but you shouldn't let you bother you this much. How old are you? You got to be at least 33. 33 to 20? 38 to 25?

It can be hard to tell ages. I went out with a girl 9 years younger than me. She asked me how old I was and she said "I thought you were closer to my age".

>>31681357
You're a namefaggot around the clock poster constantly trying to lure in male losers to play by a set of rules that doesn't benefit them. I don't have feelings because that's a ploy used for control and I don't give up my money for a hole that's already well used.

>>31681420
Good luck with that.

>>31681420
I think he actually gives pretty decent advice. Basically all his advice boils down to taking action. And that's really the only way if you know things will work.

>>31681267
Nothing other than now you know she likes to pick berries so it is something you could potentially do together.

Is it a bad idea to flirt with women when you're suicidally depressed

>>31681560
I consider flirting to be a pick me up.
So no.

However, it's probably a terrible idea to flirt with the expectation that anything will come from it.
Flirting isn't serious.
Flirting is fun.>>31681560

>>31679720
EXACTLY!!!

That's time I'm never getting back.

>>31681947
This is why parents say to kids who ask the same questions over and over again "Asked and answered."

MKG, I'd be interested in your opinion on this matter
>known this girl since 2016
>spoke to her back then, got back with my ex a few months after meeting her then our convo fizzled out
>split up with my ex in 2022 and see the girl on Hinge a month ago
>liked her picture and we started to reconnect
>we met up one evening and had a really good catchup
>convos getting pretty flirty after meetup. She states she's not looking for "sleepovers"
>i accept but carry on with the flirting
>eventually go day drinking with her and 3 other people
>through the night, she's giving signals of more flirting (laughing and leaning on me, asking me to feel her leg cause it's slightly prickly where she shaved)
>fast forward to the end. she wants to go to my house and smoke a spliff and mentions that we weren't going to fuck
>head back to mine and she tells me she's got no pants on so I lend her my underwear
>starts giving me signals that she wants her bum touching
>start smoking and then making out
>carry her up into bed
>making out continues and then I get undressed and pull her underwear down (she wasn't saying no at any point when I was touching her vag)
>6 strokes in, she tells me she can't do it because the "vibe isn't right"
>i stop and we go to sleep
>she asks what happens so I relay the events to her
>she tells me that we need to make sure that never happens again
>few days later, I ask if she wants to hang over but keep getting "I'll let you know" treatment
>doesn't really speak to me and the tone of convo has changed

I'm guessing I got played a bit? I think she also has some slight daddy issues as well.

>>31682136
>I'm guessing I got played a bit?
In what way do you mean this?
I don't see it.

What happened is mostly obvious to me. She clearly likes you, is attracted to you, and wants to have some sort of relationship with you. (Maybe fwb to tradwife, wtf do I know?)
But she's also conflicted for some reason I can't guess and you might not be able to either.
It's also possible that she's just claiming that she wouldn't have sex because she feels like admitting that it's likely to happen makes her slutty. Basically, she might be a bit slutty and not want to admit to it, even to herself.

But when she's in an altered state, she wants to go for it.
The vibe thing was possibly her working up a fantasy, the reality not meeting the fantasy because she did fuck all to communicate what she wanted, and then it didn't feel right. I've seen it a lot. Imagine a drunk wanting waffles at 4am and then stopping after a few bites.

>she asks what happens so I relay the events to her
>she tells me that we need to make sure that never happens again
I think that's likely referring to her getting so wasted that she fools around and can't remember it.

>few days later, I ask if she wants to hang over but keep getting "I'll let you know" treatment
She's likely feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable because you remember intimate shit she doesn't. She likely needs you to help her feel comfortable and free from judgement. Basically you have to make it clear that you respect her without implying that she might've done anything to make you lose respect for her. She might respond well to being treated normally with a slightly less sexual overtone. Like you're still interested in her but not just because you think she's a slut.

Imagine how uncomfortable you'd be around someone who fingered your asshole while you were blackout drunk because you supposedly begged them to.

I think it's worth noting that I respond much better to these situations while reading and responding in text rather irl in the moment where I can misunderstand something and respond before realizing it.

>>31682454
>>31682468
Thanks for the response, mate.
>In what way do you mean this? I don't see it.

The way I mean is like that she's playing a game with me. As for the daddy issues, she's had no dad in her life and she's currently "friends" (assuming fwb) with a guy in his 40s. She's told me one day when I took her back home from work that she's not interested in him no more, but rather than blocking him, she's still entertains him and receives gifts off him.

Her background story was that she's been in 2 traumatic relationships (both in their 30/40s and her being 25/27) and she's said she doesn't want to make herself vulnerable towards another man. She's said that we're 2 completely different people (she prefers to go out and drink where I'm more a day trip type of person) but she does like nights in.

I've said I've always liked her and always told her stuff that would reaffirm how I feel to the point her stating during early convos that she hadn't received roses for a while (her favourite) and then me ordering her some to her place of work inviting her to a drink which we ended up just having an evening at mine and chilling.

>Imagine a drunk wanting waffles at 4am and then stopping after a few bites

Funny you say that, she ordered food after we headed out the club and she only had a few bites of it and wasted it all.

>She's likely feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable because you remember intimate shit she doesn't. She likely needs you to help her feel comfortable and free from judgement

I'm just trying to get her to come and chill or hang out for a bit so I can talk to her properly. I'm undecided whether to just pull up to her yard tomorrow evening so I can actually talk to her cause I know 100% she'll just not message me and say if she wants to hang or not.

>>31682454
>>31682584

>I think that's likely referring to her getting so wasted that she fools around and can't remember it.

Just to add to that, she was 100% referring to the sex because after that, I spoke to her yesterday about a hypothetical situation of a "friend" missing picking his "friend" up from work (basically me and her). She understood what I was saying and said "why do you keep using "... we are friends? *shrug and laughing emoji*"

This is where I'm conflicted over the situation cause we were flirty with each other, the partial sex happened to the flirting and general vibe of the convos has changed dramatically.

>>31682617
>She understood what I was saying and said "why do you keep using "... we are friends? *shrug and laughing emoji*"
>This is where I'm conflicted over the situation cause we were flirty with each other, the partial sex happened to the flirting and general vibe of the convos has changed dramatically.
You're reading too much into shit and making conclusions about what she's thinking that likely aren't what she's feeling.

It seems to me that you're drawing lines in between concepts and relationships that she simply isn't. She seems far more casual than you.

You can't conclude her meaning from her dismissing your use of hypotheticals and "friends". Just because she considers you her friend that doesn't necessarily mean that she won't fuck you.

But she's probably far more aware of how differently the two of you see things. She's manipulating an ex sugar daddy (for lack of a better shorthand) and you're sending her roses. Both are fine ways to live but you're approaching each other at different angles.
Just be aware of that.

>>31682617
>I'm undecided whether to just pull up to her yard tomorrow evening so I can actually talk to her
A pop-in seems like a solid move. I doubt she'll stand on ceremony or be offended you didn't call first.

>>31682678
>You can't conclude her meaning from her dismissing your use of hypotheticals and "friends". Just because she considers you her friend that doesn't necessarily mean that she won't fuck you.

In regards to that situation, she was asking me for lifts from work and after the night out, she hardly asks. This is why I think something's wrong. I know I'm overthinking this shit too much.

>>31682678
>But she's probably far more aware of how differently the two of you see things.

Yeah, I'd happily have her in a relationship over fwb but she probably just wants nothing serious (which I'd be happy about either way).

Would you suggest me cooling down a bit on the romantic gestures? This goes as far as to opening my car door for her which I do in a nice way but also a jokey kinda way

>>31681091
Hey is there any tips though how can I get through the embarrassment though? I hate how I still seem to think I'm not worthy of any love and I really reaally don't want to be a bother to the guy. Luckily I can avoid him pretty well if I just time my shifts right. Should I try to just own my rejection with pride and hold my head up high? People still like me at work so it's not like I have to make myself little over one guy right? I don't want to be the annoying girl, I'm literally just doing my job and occasionally chat with people. God the people pleasing in me is so real. What do you think men? How do I not make myself a fool?

>she flaked
Time to hit the "new game" button