Any other 23-25 year olds still feel like a child? I’m 24. I went to college, I’ve had a big boy job for the last 3 years. I live alone and visit my friends often. Kek I even stopped smoking weed. I know the repeated adage is “your brain doesn’t mature until 25-26”. Yet I feel that I have the emotional regulation skills of a child. I struggle with anxiety, procrastination, depression, etc etc etc. My room is a fucking mess. I can’t muster the energy to JUST cook a meal for myself. I want to be cared for and hugged. How do i grow up? Is it just a waiting game til my frontal lobe is done cooking?
>>31677407Maybe talk to a therapist, write things down, analyze your thought patterns, challenge them to see if they align with the reality of your circumstances, and maybe instead of simply feeling the way you feel, do things that align with your interests and goals. You don't live in your mom's basement, you have a job and have held it for 3 years, you took it upon yourself to stop smoking weed and did it. Objectivelt speaking youre not a kid. What problems are you not addressing that have you feeling like a child? Or do you think you have to be 40 to be fully grown? Sure, maybe 6 years from now you'll look back and maybe think how immature you were, but you're 24 and live on your own, presumably have your own car? I'm 23 and still live at home with "mommy" (pathetic, I know), make little money so can't move out, don't have a car, have no friends or anything so comparatively speaking, you're killing it more than me. I never went to college and am a highschool dropout. So does that make you feel better?
>>31677407sounds like you could use a gf
>>31677448Even going on r9k and reading HikiNeet stories doesn’t make me feel better, man. Comparison is the thief of joy and such, but. I guess I despise myself for not being able to handle my own distress. I feel like a crying baby who can’t emotionally regulate my anxiety/depression/anger/suicidal shit, even if I’m not crying. I don’t even think a spouse and kids is what would make me feel grown (if anything i would feel like a child with a child.)— i just want to not feel like a crying baby.
>>31677475No gf wants to be his mom.
>>31677490Nor do I want anyone to be my mother. I need to parent myself. >>31677475
>>31677481You wouldn't have been able to go to college and work a job for 3 years if you weren't to some extent handling your shit. We all have emotions, I don't have the answer for you. You need an outlet that isn't 4chan, booze, porn, or wallowing in self pity. I'm a hypocrite cause I do all of those things but maybe you need to see things from a different pov. More objectively instead of getting wrapped up in your neuroticism
>>31677522Thanks bro. Probably gonna get myself banned from 4chan soon so i can stop scroooolling. Porn ain’t an issue. Booze, well… Maybe it was better when I was smoking weed instead. I am interested in finding something completely selfless to do, like volunteering or something. My job already is “selfless” (healthcare) but I spend the rest of my time worrying about myself and how I can be better. I need to give a fuck about something else
>>31677534I think you need to move away from a certain headspace and mentality. You're fixating on it and obsessing over it, but it can cloud your judgement and instead of focusing on a solution you focus on the conflicting thoughts. Maybe look inward while hacking at the weeds that are your worries of being a manchild. I suggested therapy. I have never been to therapy, I doubt you'd like to spend hard earned money and time you can't get back having someone try to convince you it is all mommy's fault because she didn't say good job to your 2nd grade macaroni depiction of superman or it is all daddy's fault cause he missed your 3rd grade minor league game once but maybe try it just to get some thoughts out, get a second opinion, and if all else fails then maybe you can form your own opinion on that second opinion. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be better, but what is the end goal? 2 years from now? 5? 10? and then what? Life is complex and can be confusing, but the answers begin and end with you, sometimes there are no answers. We all have our own things we have to deal with. If you're worried about being a manchild, ask yourself if a man child graduates college, holds down a job for 3 years, is 24 and lives on their own, and has friends? Has taken it upon themselves to abstain from a vice that may have been affecting their life and done it? If a manchild actually has something going for themselves? Maybe it isn't so much the archetype you're worried about. Maybe it is something else and the obsessiveness has disingenuously attached itself to that acute fixation? The human psyche is confusing and mysterious.
>>31677609>The human psyche is confusing and mysterious.Truer words. That’s why we’re on /adv/.
>>31677609It’s not an obsession so much as an observation. I do not care for caring about myself—depression I guess. I want to be taken care of. I have told myself a million times to “just grow up” and “just do it” but my nature is to mot give a fuck about my wellbeing beyond going to work every day and seeing friends. Idk. and the emotional deregulation drives me nuts > all mommy's fault because she didn't say good job to your 2nd grade macaroni depiction of superman kek my parents neglected the fuck out of me and dealed meth/ had crack addicted prostitutes living in the house (YES REALLY), no macaroni
>>31677407if you're a women over 18 or a man over 20 then you're a fully grown adult. you have been infantilized on purpose
>>31677407There isn't a switch that flips and you suddenly become an adult. There are 60 year olds who can't emotionally regulate.
>>31680889Do you have any modicum of reading comprehension? Clearly I’m aware that I’m biologically an adult, yet I am here on adv asking for tips on emotional regulation skills and other aspects of maturity
