I'm a textbook people pleaser and nice guy. I drag on relationships for weeks even if I'm not interested because I'm too scared to hurt the girl. I ditch my own plans and goals the minute someone asks me to do something or invites me out. I consistently volunteer, time, money, and energy even when I dont want to. I'm deathly.afraid of hurting anyone or anyone not liking me. I know in my head this is a flaw, and a burden, but when the time comes to act I just can't bring myself to be honest, upfront, or stand up for myself. Please help
Do you mind if I make this my thread? I don't have a picture to post so I think this could do. Alright.So, guys, there is a girl I saw the other day while buying bread, she's hot and cute but I'm a retard and a loser so I don't know how to frame my mind to think and make her think I can be good for her, what do you think? She has big brows and tits, man
>>31681211Talk to the big tits girl retard. And stop hijacking my thread
>>31681139Understand that despite your efforts, you will not please everyone. Even if your intentions are always pure, someone will have issue with the way you do something or who you are spending time with.Also, any relationships you form through people pleasing will be paper thin and crumble the first moment you’re not present. Is that what you want? To constantly repair a crumbling foundation?People will actually like you more if you are true with your desires and goals. That makes you authentic. You may lose some “friends”, but you’ll gain respect from others and build new friendships that are actually of quality.Please learn to love and respect yourself anon. The things you care about are important and are worth pursuing. Good luck.
>>31681324I agree with everything you're saying I just don't know why I don't feel it. I don't like myself. I have everything going for me, good career, life, friends, family,.relationships, but I just don't like.me. never have. I instinctively feel lesser than others and am so afraid of being disliked or a bother or unwanted. I want to shake it but no amount of coping or "self affirmation" can seem to break me out of my lifelong rut.The only thing that makes me feel any value or validation is knowing others like me or want to be around me..I fuckin hate it man
Understand that ignoring your own needs and focusing purely on the other person's happiness is a terrible burden to place on them, and dooms any relationship. Theybare now carrying YOUR expectations and are responsible for giving you happiness. That is a total Goddamned nightmare. This book will help a lot. It has helped other creepy stalkers and emotionally stunted men get back on track.
>>31681427Funny enough I just read this and it really struck with me how much I relate to what he's talking about, which is weird because I don't have any of the childhood/father issues he claims causes most nice guys. If anything my father was a nice guy himself. I really set forth to change but I mean, I've already gotten into a relationship with a girl I don't really want to be with anymore but I'm too scared to break up with and be a bad guy and hurt her, I've completely fucked up my school schedule by being unable to say no to invites out by friends I dunno how to really take it to heart and make it stick, I wish I didn't know anyone and I could be completely alone so I didn't feel responsible for anyone but my self
