How do I keep a good man? I always have intrusive thoughts in regards as to how good I am being as a girlfriend and I just wanna know what to actually do. Biggest argument we have is always in regard to my health...but that is about it.
>>31682323one blowjob a day keeps the cheating away
Open communication is the key. That both of you tell each other things as they are, including the negative.
>>31682323BECOMME the healthy gf:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hVBYdonQ3I
>>31682323What do you mean your biggest argument is in regard to your health? Do you have some kind of disability or is he trying to get you to lose weight.Also:>>31682337this sounds like a joke but it's not. A man who's well fed and sexually satisfied is a happy man. Just make sure you actually try to enjoy it too. Nobody likes it when it's clear their partner only has sex with them because they feel obligated to. That's worse than not having sex at all.
>>31682414It's my weight. I am slightly overweight and I have been trying to lose weight for years, I always use food as a coping mechanism and I have a hard time remaining active due to Dyspraxia (Mild disability). He honestly does not mind me being chubby, he just wants me to be healthy. For the longest time I thought that he didn't like the fact I was chubby, but he states it's more in regards to my health, and he didn't put it that way at first because he didn't want me to remain mediocre about my health. No problems when we have sex, we do it quite often lol.
>>31682450What are these arguments about your health like? I ask because it sounds like either you've got a good thing going and you worry for nothing or the arguments are quite serious which would lead me to a different conclusion. I say this because we often hide the way we actually feel not to hurt our partner. The whole "I'm worried about your health" shtick is something I've used and has been used on me when me/my partner felt the other was getting a little too chunky to the point of losing some amount of physical attraction to them. That shouldn't stop you from feeling attracted to your partner, but it can be hindrance.
>>31682323Enthusiastic cock sucking at least 3 times a week
>>31682654Well, they are quite serious and he's wanted me to do it for a while. He's basically worried about my health because he feels like it may get worse as I get older and put on more weight, also diabetes, heart disease, etc runs in my family. My uncle recently died due to diabetes, actually, which worried him further about my health. We have good communication and he's stated he finds me sexy, it's just really in regards to my health and how I cope with my eating habits, I'd say.
>>31682722Serious as in you get into screaming matches? Serious as in he starts making demands?
>>31682722Regardless on how much you try to ignore this, the reality is that if you don't stop being fat you will lose him. If this thought makes you reach for your comfort tendies, think about how hard it is for men to even qualify as a potential partner while, for women, you gotta just not be fucking fat.
>>31682323>How do I keep a good man? Just do the opposite of everything your intrusive thoughts say
>>31683047Not screaming, he just really is serious about this and truly wants me to make changes. I want to but I always seem to binge and find comfort and solace in food.
>How do I keep a good man? I always have intrusive thoughts in regards as to how good I am being as a girlfriend and I just wanna know what to actually do. Biggest argument we have is always in regard to my health...but that is about it.1. Not be a parasite that gives bf false commitments just to keep him around
>>31682323this is very unspecific and im not sure how much you're making yourself look less bad or good than you are
>>31683937Yeah it's very vague. OP could be a lazy ass tub of lard that is constantly stuffing her face, or an insecure girl with a slightly controlling bf and we'd have no idea either way.
>>31683197Just replace food with his cock and balls. 3x a day. Guarantee you'll have fewer arguments. Also, put some passion into it.Men minds are dumb and simple. Suck a dick and he shuts up
>>31684211For reference I'm 5'5 and I weigh 173 lbs, I'm 20 too. Do with that what you will.
>>31684226Yeah your relationship gotta be real fucked up if good sex can't fix it.
>>31684275he's mad that you are gaining weight or remaining franky obese i think, it seems. no offense. so if i am right you have to get skinny, he has to get a fat fetish, your relationship must be a dead bedroom, or you must break up. i think. again no offense femanon and i still love you as a participating member of the community.
>>31684285We have sex pretty much all the time, he truly doesn't mind me being chubby, he just wants me to be more healthy.
>>31684275>I'm 5'5 and I weigh 173 lbsthis is ridiculous. you need to get to 140 at least. It isnt even that hard. lift weights, do cardio and eat like 1/3 of what you are right now
>>31684292i would like to prelude by mentioning i am sorry that the thread will now focus entirely around your weight and how annoying that must be. i assume that's why you kept it vague. im sure he probably loves you and doesn't mind comforting you. i wont lie. your current weight is at the far end of what men find attractive in a woman about 5'4 tho you are taller. i dated a girl your weight once and the next ten pounds are make or break. but also their long term health and mobility did matter to me. it's going to be a lot harder to remain even this weight as you get older but i dont know lots of your specifics in the initial weight gain and history. for all i know your parents just died and you were anorexia and gained 70lbs in a year.
>>31684275Okay, so you have a BMI of about 29 which does mean you are significantly overweight bordering on obesity. What this means is that your BF does have a genuine reason to try and get you to take your health seriously. Now that said, you aren't some megahuge monstrosity. You don't need to turn yourself into a stick, but you should consider taking weight loss a bit more serious. Losing about 15 pounds should be pretty easy to do and that's really all you need.Besides obviously eating too much and working out too little, are you making sure you are eating well-rounded meals? Are you eating enough veg and fruit, or are your meals mostly microwaved, fast food, or deep fried? Maybe your boyfriend isn't worried about your weight, but rather your diet. Our diet is basically set in stone during our youth, and changing it can be incredibly difficult at a later age. Luckily for you you're young enough to be able to make significant lasting changes in your diet and have them actually stick. It's gonna take a lot of work from your end though. You gotta make bad choices hard and good choices easy and work on it every day until it is part of your routine.Also, you being 20 is quite telling. If it's your first long term relationship it's pretty common to be insecure and feel like you're doing things wrong. Just make sure you maintain open communications with your bf and be introspective. Its okay to worry about these things, it happens. Just make sure your understand the difference between insecurity and reality.
>>31684331Thanks for your words. I know it's a bit larger than most guys find attractive, and I hate that. Shitty diet started when I was absolutely fucking depressed on my teenage years and only comfort I had within was food...I'd unironically look forward to food the most at some points, though it isn't like that anymore. I met my boyfriend 4 years ago, said he wanted me to lose weight. No willpower for no reason, hard for me to do it. I have unironically started to think about starving myself at this point. It's gonna get worse as I get older and I hate it.
>>31684358if you want a cheat code lowkey get weight loss peptides. i know this isn't the "wholesome" answer, but it makes losing that weight so much easier.if you cannot afford the prescription stuff, or insurance won't cover it, you can still get some online. with a little know-how it's easy to administer to yourself
>>31682450Are you really overweight or just by a bit?
>>31684226Nigga how you gonna cum 3 times a day every day, you'll be a dried husk
>>31684352Thank you for your kind words. My diet consists of it being full of carbs, I also eat a lot of takeout. He has said that too, about how my diet is very worrying and that it'll make me unhealthy. It is my first relationship and his too and I have never felt happier, I truly want to be with him and he says I'll be a good wife, but this is honestly the only "issue" I have according to him, although I know I have a lot of flaws. I just wanna lose the weight and do things right but I feel like I will never be able to as I feel unlovable. He has said I have horrible self confidence, which is true. I feel bad for him going through this and I wanna make him feel good, because I have nothing but love for him.
>>31682323What do you eat usually? What was your ancestors diet (this is usually what will suit you)
>>31684380Well I'm 5'5 and I'm 173 lbs, I'm also 20. I think that is overweight.
>>31684384You maybe, with your weak genes.I'd be having the time of my life.
>>31684394Hispanic with italian roots. I am guessing mediterranean food from my italian ancestors, and the native americans more than likely ate corn with rice and probably fish...not sure though.
>>31684358it's okay. you're still lovable on the inside and probably still the outside to degree. also the health things. if you need help i can maybe help you feel like you're basically eating an giant american diet and sustain your weight using gastronomy. though to lose weight is pain, always, but that pain does not last forever, just til you hit target weight. starving yourself like every other day a random week here or there is a good strategy. you don't want to let your body get used to starving. you want to take breaks between starving. you will be miserable while starving so i say hit 2.5 birds with 1 stone and stay busy and productive and distracted those days. the hardest part will be resisting binging on days where you starved yourself the day before and losing all your gains... wait i mean gaining all your losses.
>>31684358i also fucking love food btw like way more than average. i was almost getting fat as a young teen but got anorexic instead. now im just super educated about the topic and it'ยข
>>31684417s basically effortless now
>>31684413Thanks dude. So you think fasting in between days would be a goos strategy?
>>31684397Ok I challenge you to cum 3 times a day every day for the next 2 weeks and see how healthy you feel
>>31684428yeah it's not crazy like people say and exercise doesn't help with weight loss. weight is maintained in the kitchen. just dont become crazy about it. find a comfortable equilibrium of like 10lbs and eat freely as the low end and stay busy and hungrier at the high end.
>>31682323Keep his balls empty, his stomach full, and give him peace and order. That's literally it. That's all any man wants.
>>31684451What do you think good workouts are? Or is it mostlt your diet?
>>31684478basically all diet, but try hacky sack (great and fun cardio, just watch tv and practice hitting it the same way til you can basically do it endlessly, then try hitting it another way...) or pushups and squats and walks maybe. it's important to move a little and not sit around too much.
>>31682450> asks how to keep a man> is overweightWhy do I even bother with women.
>>31684478meal prepping a tasty base meal for the week and then buying like potatoes/potatoes and salads for sides is great. also soup is extremely filling and low in calories for how much volume it has. fat and protein are your friends but try to put small amounts of fat on the outside especially of the meal to give it that "wowie wow wow" with each bite. avoid processed sugars. im assuming you basically have to detox off sugar but girls also generally eat way too much bread and stuff. avoid bread except sourdough if possible. drink only water, or maybe coffee or tea in the morning with some milk (low fat or skim milk, whole milk is fattening as fuck). fat is awesome and you need it but it is twice as caloric per gram compared to protein or carbs.
>>31684519potatoes/rice*your goal is too cook a meal that satisfies each of your cravings with as little of itself as possible basically and to avoid sugar. try to lean heavy on protein when in doubt.
>>31684388Alright look, I used to date a girl who by all descriptions you give of yourself sounds very similar to you. Similar age at the time, insecure too, weight problems, etc. Her issues were a little more serious though, as she had bulimia and would self-harm. We loved each other a lot, bordering on obsession. We were our first everything, wanted to get married, said we would never break up, you know the deal. That didn't end up happening though. Her constant insecurity was a huge weight to bear (though I was glad to bear it), and was a massive strain on our relationship. Eventually it all became too much and we broke up, leaving me in a long-term depression. You weighing a bit too much, or having a shitty diet isn't what you should focus on. Those things are symptoms of the larger issue that is your terrible mental health. Ask yourself why you feel unlovable when you have a boyfriend that clearly loves you a whole lot? How do you think it makes him feel that he seemingly can't do anything but offer you momentary comfort? That he keeps trying to talk to you about improving because he cares about you, but you keep making all kinds of excuses along the way? Don't you think this man thinks you're worthy of the effort? The problem is that you're showing him that YOU don't think you're worth the effort, and by extension your relationship to him isn't worth the effort, and the man himself isn't worth the effort. The best thing you can do for your relationship isn't to go on a diet, but to find a therapist and start taking your mental health seriously. You need to feel confident in yourself and your relationship, and understand that you as a person clearly have lovable qualities. HE WOULDN'T BE WITH YOU IF YOU DIDN'T!Now, go tell him you love him and that you understand he loves you too and that you're going to change for the betterment of your relationship. Then go have some lovey-dovey handholdy sex and when you're done ACTUALLY DO THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO.
>>31684436I've had weeks like that. Felt pretty good. In fact that's pretty standard every time I start a new relationship for the first couple months.
>>31682323Be a good woman, and a good match.>>31682337Degenerate horseshit. If a guy "needs" sex (let alone fetishistic sex) to stay loyal, he shouldn't be appeased. This is exactly why not having sex outside of marriage is so effective. It makes such people show their true colors.
>>31684556I hope everything is better now, man. I am also interested in knowing if your ex gf is okay too as of late, because all of this sounds concerning. I hope both of you are okay now. Thank you for your words, definitely is my mental health I think. I was a quite depressed teenager (Trauma from friendships, bad relationship with parents, self destructive habits, no joyous moments in my life at that point, etc.) I met my boyfriend 4 years ago and he made my life better, but I still cling onto bad habits like binge eating and inactivity, no friendships, low self esteem, etc. We are madly in love and I can tell when I look at him in the eye and the way he often smiles and...it's the best feeling in the world and I am not kidding when I say I'd do anything for him. I just want to be a good person to him because he deserves the entire world and I am always so worried about doing things wrong, and I have in regards to myself as I often sabotage myself in regards to the diet and better habits, yet he's still here. I would do anything to be his wife and I promised him I would always take care of him. Your comment has made me so emotional and it's very true, and I wanna thank you for that. You have given me more calm and comfort with these words. I just wanna value myself more because there is a reason why I am alive still...not everything is bleak or dark.
>>31684676You think getting your dick sucked is fetishistic?Don't get me wrong I don't think not getting it sucked should be used as an excuse to cheat but seeing what is the most basic sex act after vaginal as something worthy of the term fetish makes you come off as a crazy prude.
>>31684741It is literally just because of porn (and gay porn, initially) that oral sex became popularized. Just 50 years ago, it was widely considered sodomy, and very much not a "basic sex act".
>>31684730The feelings fade a little more every day. I haven't talked to her in a couple years, but the last time she acted like she was doing fine. She had a habit of changing her personality at will and not revealing her true feelings to people she wasn't close to, and I fear I became a member if that club the moment we broke up so I can't say for sure. I knew her better than anyone back then though, and knew when she was lying to herself. When we talked last she was doing just that. She acted like things were better but I knew that wasn't true.Anyways, you and your boyfriend seem to be doing better than me and her were 4 years into the relationship, even if there are some major similarities. Remember that no relationship is smooth sailing. You gotta put in effort to make them work. As long as you work on your own mental health, be supportive, give him compliments, and keep loving him completely, you'll do just fine. It just takes a little bit of effort every day. I'm glad I was able to help and I hope you guys have a great life together.
>>31682323>How do I keep a good man?get married to one, what kind of question is that
>>31684857Even with the self destruction, unstability and constant ups and downs, it truly did seem like you loved each other and cared for each other greatly, and that is very poetic and telling of the good character you both have. Love is an absolutely powerful thing, and you still show care for her and I am sure she has a soft spot in her heart for you too. I understand why the relationship did not work out, however. People are messy and it's a mistake to think everyone will be a clean slate, as people have nuance, quirks, flaws and perks. I just want to truly be able to provide him with the life he deserves, and I wanna get old and wrinkly beside him. Flaws are to be understood and worked throughout, not shamed unless it's something you truly can't stand. You have a kind soul and I hope everything is well with you, I hope you find a good woman or that a good woman is with you right now.
