what am i supposed to feel? what am i supposed to think right now? nothing is making sense, we were deeply in love, i landed a great job, i had good hobbies and was developing in them, we bought a sweet flat, her studies were going well, i was helping her with them, i studied hard for her so i could quiz her and she was great at it, and the exam is far away anyways, how do i figure out what went wrong? i dont understand at all, i dont understand anything
>>31682871I’m sorry anon. Surround yourself with people who care about you friends/family. It may help to connect with her family and loved ones as a way to keep her memory alive.
>>31682871nothing went wrong, in a time of weakness she made a bad choice. that's all. like taking a turn early at a junction and dying in a car crash. treat it the same way.
>>31682888She doesn't have a family, sort of a loner, but I will learn how to paint and capture my feeling of her on a canvas. >>31682898It helps to think of it that way.
>>31682909Will there be a memorial or a funeral? Did she know ANYONE? Can you arrange a makeshift ceremony (if desired) with some of your friends at least?
>>31682871find a new gf
>>31682871>what am I supposed to feel? >what am I supposed to think?Your brain wants you to think and feel nothing, for now. This is the response to a sudden and massive traumatic loss. It’s a safety mechanism of the mind. Kind of like power outlets, when there’s a gigantic surge, the thing will short circuit prevent an explosion or fire. The mind has this built-in too. It’s to protect your sanity. The calm before the storm so to speak. It’s at this time that you need to get to shelter. You need to find somewhere safe, as this anon suggests: >>31682888Surround yourself with people who you know care about you. You might not instantly recollect them right now since your emotions are dulled at the moment. Just think of people who you have known and have known you for a long time. It’s those people. Go to them, that’s the mental and emotional shelter you’ll need once this purgatorial dissociation clears and makes way for the storm. God be with you. I am so sorry, OP. And may your beloved rest in peace.
>>31682871some suicidal people are very good at hiding it. Consider it like a disease, you won't find any logic behind it or anything to understand.
>>31682909>but I will learn how to paint and capture my feeling of her on a canvas.Ok you were secretly gay and she knew and killed herself
>>31682871She didn’t leave a note?
>>31682871Did you pound that corpse pussy before it went cold?
>>31682871it was just a girlfriend, not a wife, you'll get over it.
>>31682871I know you don't want to hear this, but she would've left you in another manner if it wasn't her death. I know this because I had someone I loved more than anyone else in the world. All she ever did was stare at me with a blank face when all I wanted was for her to look at me as the man she once loved, just because I decided to play hero for a lesser man's mistakes. It's a cruel truth, but sometimes, even the people we cherish most aren't meant to stay with us.
