Just do what feels right for you, I know it's a vague thing to say but you shouldn't force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable.
If you don't want to date or talk to other girls then just do exactly that, and if later you end up feeling like you want to date/talk again that's fine.
What I think would help the most is focusing on yourself and things you like, or exploring and finding new things to like

>>31683870
How long did you guys date for?
I'm 7 months out from breaking up out of an over 8 year relationship. Definitely not over her yet, we were gonna get married. In my heart of hearts I know I'm not ready to fall in love again, but I have been trying to date because the whole focusing on myself thing hasn't worked yet and I'm tired of feeling the pain. Not to mention my ex moved on in only a couple of months with a new guy at her work at it makes me feel hurt and jealous.
That said, there's definitely a "meta" that is keeping me from being successful. I've even had a few girls I've taken on dates be suspicious that I'm looking for a rebound and they've cut contact after that. I'm having a hard time even convincing girls to go out because they can literally smell desperation, and I'm desperate for a new girl to see if it helps me get over my ex. You might not even be successful in getting a new girl for quite a while unless you're a mack daddy or you're in an environment with an abundance of young horny girls like college.
Time is really the only thing that will help us in the end, I think.

>>31683913
thank you, yea Im trying to change my career now to something I find more interesting
>>31683941
We were together for 2.5 years. Sorry to hear about your relationship, man. It's brutal. I know it wasn't as long as you guys, but this was the best relationship we had both ever been in and we both seemed to agree we would intend to make it permanent. Oh well...My girl too basically ended our relationship due to a guy she became "limerent" over at work.

>>31683990
My relationship with my first GF lasted two years, looking back I got over her in just a few months but we were long distance (about 4 hour bus/train ride between cities)
During that time I thought another girl was interested in me but she had a boyfriend and was leading me along for attention. I became really annoyed with women in general after that and consciously made the decision to do my own thing and ride out my last semester in college doing projects and vibing. Then all the sudden I got a few dates and my 8 year ex asked me out. Maybe I need to reach that state again of genuinely not giving a fuck about women, I definitely crave female validation way too much and it's because my ex is living rent free in my head still
I think in another few months you'll start to feel better. Yeah it fucking sucks when women decide they're done with you but you still have your life to live. Like that other anon said just do what you feel, and if that means not dating, then don't date.

>>31683870

Was in a similar situation at UNI.
Met my ex during last term in high-school, moved in together in my apartment at UNI, were together for 2.5 years and she basically checked out of the relationship.
I called her out on it and asked her if she was done. She replied "I don't really care..." So out she went.

That same night, we (the boys) were going out on campus and I got approached by some 6/10 on the dance floor and we made out a bit. That really
helped me get over my ex. I felt so shit and unwanted from how my ex treated me, so it gave me a big confidence boost. I've never had "trouble"
getting girls, but being treated poorly really fucks with your head.
I fucked a really hot 19 y/o the week after the breakup who I'd known very casually before.
After that I just "didn't chase girls" and just let em come to me which was way easier and more successful than I'd been when actively "chasing girls".

Anyway, My personal advice and opinion is to just get out there and fuck someone new. Someone random that you won't see again.
Then focus on yourself. Who are you? What do you want? What do you like?
Do fun shit that you wanna do. Party, go to the beach, do fun social activities, wash them away in new experiences.

You got this my guy!
Life is too short to spend it wallowing over what could have been. Be glad that you had this experience. I promise you that you will move on.
And in 5 years you will look back with nostalgia on who you were back then and realize how much you've grown.

Life goes on.
We cannot control everything that happens to us.
We CAN control how we react to everything that happens to us.

>>31684465
>That same night, we (the boys) were going out on campus and I got approached by some 6/10 on the dance floor and we made out a bit.
>I fucked a really hot 19 y/o the week after the breakup who I'd known very casually before.
>My personal advice and opinion is to just get out there and fuck someone new. Someone random that you won't see again.

Chad, stop giving advice. I don't care what rebuttal you have, go ahead and call me a jealous bitter incel or whatever, you are probably right, but you are Chad, ok? Your life experience is not applicable to 95% of the men browsing here. If you think it's easy to just "go out and fuck another girl, bro" it's because it's easy for YOU, because you are Chad.

>>31683870
When you fuck someone else you'll realize she really wasnt that special & get over her.
Or you'll realize she was that special and feel regret.

>>31684493
That's the thing though, I'm really not a Chad.
Chad gets any girl he wants. I can't do that. I have tried and failed.

You don't have to be Chad to get girls.

> go ahead and call me a jealous bitter incel or whatever
You don't have to be jealous or bitter or an incel. You probably aren't.
You just have low confidence and low self esteem.
Get good at something. Or a couple things. Get in shape. Learn some cool or useful shit. I promise you that your confidence will soar.
And when your skills and capabilities go up, so will your confidence. And with your confidence, your self esteem will follow.

> If you think it's easy to just "go out and fuck another girl, bro"
I'm not saying it's easy. I've tried to really get a few girls, but have been rejected.
They were simply not interested. And that's fine.
What I am saying is that if you take a step back, focus on having a good time and enjoy yourself, girls will come to you.
I promise you that it works. Talk to girls like you talk to your boys. Like they are your friends. Don't even try to "pick them up".
Just be friendly, casual and sort of unavailable, "you aren't there to meet girls" (kinda). Girls will go crazy for your dick.

Don't chase girls. Chase positive, fun and good experiences and memories.

"Remember that time at that bar where that guy tried to pick a fight?"
"Damn, this reminds me of when we went on that car trip in X place..."

>>31684620
I'm not even going to waste my time writing out a long rebuttal
Yes all that shit about building confidence and self esteem and going out and having fun is true. Fuck, I got invited out to play pool last weekend at a dive bar and had a great time. I'm booked with grillouts and parties Saturday and Sunday. I am a VERY social person. I run my own fucking business with seven figures gross revenue and I have a PhD, I'm skilled as fuck.
You know how many girls have approached me despite going out and having fun nearly every weekend for four months, consistently? ZERO. Because I'm not Chad, and you are.
Stop pretending like you aren't Chad. If you can talk about laying hot teenagers and finding other girls to fuck like it's going to the store and buying milk, you're fucking Chad, nothing you type will change that.

>>31683870
get out there and keep getting out there.

You kind of have to force yourself to have new relationships so that your brain looks back and says "that was so long ago why would I be upset about that?"

i

>>31683941
I'm 3 years out of a 5 year relationship and it doesn't get better, you just kinda grow more numb to it over time. I've had several relationships that lasted a few months in the past few years but they always end up falling apart. I always think I'm ready to try something new but in the end I always realize they didn't make me feel like she did, and I didn't love them like I loved her. Still think about her most days, and therapy didn't do shit. That said I'm still better with women than most guys on this site so at the very least I don't feel like a complete loser.

>>31684620
>>31684670
To take it a step further, I've been putting myself out there, I've been asking for phone numbers. I asked for two girl's numbers just this past weekend. One of them was 17, the other was taken, but I still asked. Fuck, I've had some dates. But no sex, no gf.
I've lost 20 pounds since breaking up with my ex. People I haven't seen in a few months have said I look the best I ever have. I did it without making a dent in my lifts.
I'm not saying I'm ugly, I'm saying you're hot and you don't even realize it, so STFU and stop pretending like finding a new girl is some easy thing when 90% of the men on this board have to work our fucking asses off to even get a phone number.

>>31684714
Did your ex have bpd?

>>31684670
You know, this makes you sound like you feel you *deserve* a girlfriend. Nobody deserves anyone, Anon. I get that you're mad about what the other guy said because it puts the blame on you instead of something that's out of your hands but he's largely correct. Have you considered that you might just not have a very attractive personality? That maybe you're too forward when talking to girls and they can tell you don't really care about them? I know it's easy to just blame your looks, but I'm a broke fat fuck who realistically is on the bottom half of the scoreboard and I still get into relationships with women who should be out of my reach. I'm able to do this because I have a good personality, and women like talking to me. I make them feel safe, heard, and entertained, at which point they start being very forward about their attraction to me. I'm not talking about some pick-up artist manipulative bullshit, I'm just being the person I always am. Friendly, caring, witty, and honest. You're social in the sense that you go out a lot, but are you actually a competent conversationalist or do you just get by? I think option #2 is the likely answer.

>>31684985
>You know, this makes you sound like you feel you *deserve* a girlfriend. Nobody deserves anyone, Anon.
You're reading way too into it. I never said nor do I think I deserve a girlfriend. I'm just saying I do all those things he said and have yet to meet a woman. I'm not doing those things TO meet women, at all. That pool game last weekend happened in a dive bar I knew ahead of time single women rarely go to. I went to have fun with my friends. If you're reading any sense of entitlement in what I wrote, that's your personal interpretation dude.
>That maybe you're too forward when talking to girls and they can tell you don't really care about them?
I'll fully admit to that, I'm gunning for a rebound hard because I'm jealous my ex got into a relationship right away after dumping me. Sue me for feeling hurt.
> I know it's easy to just blame your looks
Now you're putting words into my mouth. I never said I can't get girls because I'm ugly, I'm saying it's easy to get girls when you're a hot guy, so if you find yourself easily getting hot girls you're probably more attractive than you think and shouldn't try to give that generic "just b urself" advice to average looking dudes
>You're social in the sense that you go out a lot, but are you actually a competent conversationalist or do you just get by? I think option #2 is the likely answer.
I don't care if this is bragging or not but I am the fucking center of attention in any room I go into. People gravitate to me and hop into my conversations because I'm sorry and funny as fuck. People drag other people to come meet me and listen to what I have to say. Stop making assumptions about me because you don't know a damn thing about me or my life from a couple of posts I made on fucking 4chan

>>31685145
*Witty and funny as fuck

>>31683870
>we broke up ~5 weeks ago now
I've seen countless people take several years to move on. You're doing fine

>>31684714
It’s been about 3 months since my 3 year relationship ended and the fact that it doesn’t get better even 3 years after unironically makes me contemplate suicide. I was hoping it would get better but I’m in so much pain and I don’t think I can live like this for the rest of my life.

>>31685193
>I've seen countless people take several years to move on. You're doing fine

YEARS? I don’t have time for that shit. Unironically suicide is a better option at this point. Some people NEVER get over their ex.

>>31686322
If you're young, you have decades of time to do what you want; years are nothing.

>Some people NEVER get over their ex.
Yeah, harbouring a significant other tends to be a very important part of people's brains. Some researchers have found that losing a significant other can incur some of the same effects and relapses as fucking drug withdrawal of all the things.

>>31686376
I don’t think I’ll ever get over my ex, and what’s worse is that I don’t think I’ll ever have another girlfriend again either. I’m thinking of either chemically castrating myself to rid myself of all sexual desires, or just blowing my brains out. Not sure which, but leaning towards eating a bullet

>>31686391
>>31686322
>>31684714
>>31684465
>>31683941
>>31683870
Any of you think you could get your ex back? Does no contact really give you an opportunity to get them back?

>>31687247
>Does no contact really give you an opportunity to get them back?
It should make it (relatively) easier to get over them, because constant exposure to your exes (always being around them) is often why people gave and either overreact and do something drastic, or find themselves crawling back to them.

>>31687247
>Any of you think you could get your ex back?
No, she said herself there's no hope, multiple times. And I don't want her back anyway, except maybe to hate fuck her a few times before discarding her forever
>Does no contact really give you an opportunity to get them back?
Yes, but only in the sense that no contact lets you move on. It sounds counterintuitive, but exes need to move on from each other first before there's a chance of getting back together, because if you do, you're forming a new relationship, not continuing the old. If you do no contact with the purpose of "getting your ex back" then you're not really moving on.