How do I make friends in a new city? My plan is to go downtown this weekend and talk to random people in bars. I'm also going to use this strategy to find a girlfriend. Is this a good idea? I'm too ugly for dating apps.I've been here less than a week and I'm already lonely
>>31685128>How do I make friends in a new city>4plebs adv archive>search: how do i make friends>34755 results foundso unless you want to provide specific information about yourself, your situation, your location, your history, your experiences, etc, etc, please go read the archive. generic posts get generic advice.
>>31685251I'm 24I'm a grad studentI'm in southern californiaI know no one hereI had tons of friends back home, I met them through high school, college parties, and college dorms.None of those situations are available to me anymore
>>31685267You've still not said anything about you as a person. You are allowed to spend more than 30 seconds on a post, you know.My advice is to start paragliding, join a baking group, and learn how to fix cars. Not good advice for you? Then give us more to work on.
>>31685267i say it's not impossible with girls, very possible with friends, but im not that anon. can you meet people at your school?
>>31685296I'm not sure what you mean. I like movies, traveling (I've made many friends at hostel bars before but that's a different situation), science. I'm shy, but extroverted.>>31685307Possibly, but I'm having trouble finding any clubs even though tons of people go here. I just don't know where to start.At hostel bars it's easy since I can open with "where are you from?" and that's an instant conversation starter, but that doesn't work when everyone is American.
>>31685399Have you searched online for different kinds of hobby groups in your area?
>>31685399ask them if they are from CA and what part if so or whatever. i actually think this is such a good answer i might try it.
>>31685428not OP but i have and it seems like they're all centered around an identity i dont fit into like "learning english" "old people learning young people skills" "2nd generation chinese" and random stuff like that, i actually started considering "hey you know i know english, i have young people skills... aw not 2nd generation chinese"
>>31685445Note: this is dangerous with Asian girls, they'll think you're asking about their race
>>31685459i had an asian woman randomly start talking to me about Hong Kong and she had a thick foreign accent that sounded chinese, and she was talking about it really naively and excited like "Wow the hong kongers will be so happy about this" and I was like "I don't think the Hong Kongers are going to like that because china is trying to centralize them" and this was before it was mainstream knowledge i was just coincidentally a history autist and thought that and she looked at me like i was crazy and weird. I asked if she was from China and had her own opinions, and I didn't mean to offend her, and she looked super offended and said she was Swedish or something and stormed off. I wasn't attracted to her, she was older but it was the craziest interaction I feel I ever had and I felt like she had like literally zero sympathy or empathy, and could not conceive that thoughts that were not hers could exist, not even that she was right just like that other thoughts could not exist. Iunno it was crazy.
>>31685492i almost feel like nobody can believe this happened even though it's so mundane. like i had very insane things happen in my life but for some reason this just strikes me as like the most uncanny moment of existence i ever had. it feels like this couldn't have happened.
>>31685492>>31685506I can believe it happened, and I can also believe that an autist like you is completely unable to see the interaction from her point of view.
>>31685530if i a fucking blue eyed white man was in fuckimg china and asking people randomly about some american puerto rican bridge and they said something i didn't think of, then looked sorry, and asked if i was american and had my opinions they would be interested, it would be autistic for me to think they were racist fo guessing that
>>31685576im sorry im so pissed about how she reacted. i was actually excited to talk about the bridge. it felt like she was honestly 75IQ or had zero education for a woman her age though. Like how naive could you be to think Hong Kong wants a bridge so China can send their military in more easily, and Hong Kong had such a sweet deal. It was obvious to anyone paying attention what was going on. And later on the fucking mass protests and crackdowns showed I was right. I wish I could laugh in her stupid face and point at the news when it was happening.
