I had a bit of an awakening where before I didn't care about getting a relationship or sex and just kind of accepted its never gonna happen but after the awakening now I think it can happen, but it will take so long to actually meet women and I still don't know if its actually possible to date or hookup, I think I'm like a 6.5/10, could use some work. My social skills are a bit below average and could use some work. I hate dating apps and they won't work anyway. This all happened because one of my friends hooked up with a girl off bumble and I got jealous because I'm an incel virgin. If I stop jacking off for a few days the feelings get so strong like I need to meet real women. Does this go away after a while?
I’m going on a drinking challenge. I’m not a drinker, but I think if I drink instead of goon, it’d tame the agony of my mundane life. But at least I’d wake up tomorrow completely avoiding it.
>>31685683I want to drink so bad if I'm being honest
>>31685323Look you have to understand that everyone feels sexual desire. You have been functionally numbing that instinct for a long time and you don't know how to handle it, but you have to get a handle on it now because you can't really just ignore your needs like that forever unless you're gonna be a preist or have some sort of adjacent pursuit (incredibly isolated programming wizard, forest ranger, whatever). You have confidence issues that need to be worked out and you need to stop thinking about other people and their sex lives almost entirely. If you keep pretending like this isn't something you need or that it's not important you'll likely keep experiencing weird and intensifying sexual urges or some other displaced side effect. Sure it's fine now but what about when you're 40? That's how psycho nutcases happen.
>>31685323Stop jacking off and use the growing hunger/tension as motivation to talk to girls. Flirt with them. A hungry lion is a dangerous cat.
>>31685742Anon, the entire fucking point is that I stop thinking about and wanting girls
>>31685323as a woman, sex really is not everything. like it doesn’t define your worth as a man if you don’t have it. lock the fuck in my guy. become autistic if you aren’t already and start researching anything and everything is my best advice, nothing wrong with jacking off once in awhile but we shouldn’t occupy every thought. how many women are thinking about men all day? certainly not me, i’m out living my life 2 years no sex. you can do it anon.
>>31685731This is good advice, thanks. How do you stop thinking about other people? I think its a bit easier said then done.
>>31685323Hi hello.There are medications that you can take that will greatly reduce your sex drive without negatively affecting your testosterone levels. Finasteride is one, it is used to treat balding in men by reducing the amount of DHT in the body. DHT, not testosterone is actually what is responsible for libido. Testosterone metabolizes into DHT normally but finasteride prevents that. You will not only prevent yourself from balding but also reduce your sex drive as well.
>>31685779I notice incels have a weird tendency to express themselves focusing on the sex part of a relationship but plenty of us want the complete relationship too. I want the kissing, the hugging, and the emotionally intimate moments that come with a relationship in addition to the actual sex.
>>31685755I get it, but once you achieve getting laid, you’ll realize its not a big deal. It is not as big as your mind makes it out to be and you can move on.
>>31685788okay, and you can have that. don’t use dating apps. when i used them, sure you can call me a bad person but i swiped left on any sub 8 man i saw. that’s just how the world works. and i’m not going to tell you to just go out and meet people. low key i met all my bfs on social media. how old are you? usually it just happens and you don’t expect it. make an instagram and make it seem like your life is really interesting or just be you and network as much as you can. you’ll find someone. if you have unrealistic standards for women like most incels do, you’ll need to lower them because we are NOT perfect tradwives that will do everything for you and be your fucktoy.. i say this kindheartedly, dear anon
>>31685781When I say stop thinking about other people I mainly mean stop ruminating about what other people are doing, like you described in the OP. This is honestly pretty good advice for every area of life but especially for sex stuff. Ask yourself why you care, truly. Why do you really, really give a shit. You are going to die. Keep that at the forefront of your mind whenever you're wasting time thinking too much about what someone else is doing. You are going to die, likely before any of the consiquences of any sort of social fuckup would get to you anyways, so don't waste time thinking about what other people are doing, or what they think of you outside of when it directly impacts the material situation of your life (meaning one degree of seperation, as in if I make this person angry I might lose this job interview, not as in oh if I do some nebulous thing it could effect my entire social vibe). Examine your emotions. Your friend is fucking someone, think about why you care. I'd bet its an immediate jealosy response. Examine that jealousy, are you really jealous or are you just kind of anxious that you're not doing that? Do you want to do that right that second with that person? Then it's ok to be frustrated for a few seconds, you don't have to beat yourself up for the way you feel. Really it's all about evaluating if responses are appropriate and directed correctly if that makes sense. Also if you were raised religious, even if you're not a religious person, understand that is directly effecting you in a negative way in this arena wether or not you believe it. You'll grapple with that sooner or later.
>>31685810>sure you can call me a bad person but i swiped left on any sub 8 man i sawYou can get away with this because there's a 1:3 gender ratio on dating apps in favor of women. When you're swarmed with many more choices, you can afford to be picky. Men on dating apps don't have that luxury. Therefore, as a man, unless you're a total chad, online dating is a waste of time.>how old are you? usually it just happens and you don’t expect itLol no it won't. This is just another example of women being totally disconnected from the day in life of an average man. Unlike women, relationships don't just materialize out of thin air for men and usually always requires a conscious and intentional effort from us because most of us live solitary and boring lives that don't actually put us in the way of meeting someone. This whole "just be happy alone while single" advice is terrible and inactionable for people like me, because if you tell someone chronically single with a solitary lifestyle and lack of social skills to "just be happy as you are," then he's just going to...not do anything to attract the partner he wants, and end up actually celibate for the rest of his life. It's great life advice, but terrible dating advice. For most men, you're not going to get the woman you want unless you actually decide to put in the effort to become someone attractive to her. That means not being fully happy as you are and actually wanting more out of life. >how old are you?27 years old. Live at home. No career. I study and work part time, have an assortment of hobbies that are either all done by myself, or are exclusively male dominated, and never once had a girlfriend.
>>31685788>>31685788You also have to realize if this is what you want it means making yourself known to another person, that's what's likely holding you back and making you anxious. Relationships really aren't even that much about physical intimacy, that's a symptom of real intimacy, which comes at the cost of real rejection. Not "I won't sleep with you" rejection, the kind of personal rejection that hurts even more because it's not superficial like that. It's a painful process of constantly finding people you really like who you might differ from on just a few key things that really blow the whole thing up. real intimacy means knowing every part of eachother, and if you have parts you yourself find disgusting other people might be put off by them as well, so it's best not to beat yourself up and to really just start looking for a freak like you. It's all leaps of faith and that can be really scary, so remember, for better or for worse,You are going to die and be eaten by worms and become soil. So do whatever you want but if you want that sort of intimacy, better get cracking, who gives a shit about the minutiae? Only dumbasses. You'll start to get that.
>>31685852drop your discord let me rate you rn. i swear to god there is a woman out there for you.no matter what you look like, you will be able to pull. if this response is how you act around women, or how you would act around them anytime they say something you don’t like to hear, then maybe that’s why they’re not dating you. i met the guy i’m currently going out with on fucking soc of all places. i’m literally trying to encourage you and you’re being all doomer. quit it with the attitude or you won’t ever find a girl moping around like that, anon..
>>31685852>>31685810>you’ll need to lower them because we are NOT perfect tradwives that will do everything for you and be your fucktoy.. i say this kindheartedly, dear anon(cont)I have higher standards for a woman's looks because I have high standards for my looks too. The problem is that my own looksmatch is above my league because I live at home and I'm anti-social. I work out religiously and have a six pack and an athletic and muscular physique. Even if I just materialized social skills right now, I'd have to settle for below my own looksmatch simply because women are valued for their looks over their money and status, but men need to have money and status just to get their foot in the door.
>>31685873ghostrider_579
>>31685874women don’t want you because you’re an incel, not because you lack social skills. again, the guy i met on fucking 4chan has zero female friends, is in zero female spaces like you, is autistic and nerdy in male dominated hobbies and still managed to pull me and many other women simply because of his attitude towards life and towards us. women don’t want someone who fucking hates them. if your future gf saw how you’re acting right now, would she be impressed at your “tough guy” demeanor, or would she be embarrassed for you?
>>31685899And what caught your interest, did this guy have a lot of Discord friends or something? Or dose he just post on soc and you talked to him from there.
>>31685802It’s actually the opposite. Once you finally have sex and your dick gets a taste of pussy, you’ll crave it for the rest of your life, far more than you would as a virgin. I unironically wish I was still a virgin cause of this.
