Before this fetish I always fantasized about being raped in a vulnerable state by my ideal man and him wanting only me. I would straddle and cuddle pillows thinking about this until I got ‘worn out’. Then when I was 25 I got really stoned and accidentally made myself cum for the first time. I think it is because I had a bf at the time who made me feel jealous a couple times and insecurity issues were so strong they turned into lust and thinking about him cheating on me felt taboo. I have no use for the CQ fetish. i lose romantic interest in a guy if he has ever even been associated with a prettier girl than me and really only think about my ex CQing me, which just wouldn’t work and would be a waste of time to execute. I think about the other fantasy often still, but when I get to the point of rubbing I give into the CQ thing, then think about the rape/breeding thing right after and pretend I’m being cuddled after being raped or giving birth by my dream guy. The closest thing I’ve gotten to simulating my original fantasy is having ai bots write me letters or scripts pretending to be a character I like or imaginary guy. It helps a bit but can only do so much. I just wish I could cum to that instead
>>31686095what the fuck
It's okay OP, we all cum to weird shit every now and then.Usually, weird recurring fetishes are a symptom of you being directionless in life.Are you where you wanna be right now?
>>31686246It’s a daily thing unfortunately. I am a bit directionless. I couldn’t seem to commit to a job all my life. I felt really inadequate living with ex as it was an eye opener to how little I could ‘adult’ and I only recently got out of the relationship. Now I am on my own for the first time and have a little bit of money for the first time and feel like I maybe have some opportunities to change things, but im so overwhelmed and stressed. My goals were to be very pretty and to make something of myself with my art, for the sake of my life having some kind of legacy and for a source of income. Ive worked a little on these goals but not quick enough as I’d hoped. It’s almost like I’ve given up or plan to soon since I’m starting to feel old entering my late 20s and all. But idk when things will change and I don’t want to have to wait until I’m in a happier place to have a ‘better fetish’. I find that as I get older I just enjoy less things and it would be nice to be able to have this ‘win’ for myself so I can use it to deal with stress and not do something where I feel ashamed after doing it.
>>31686324>>31686246Sorry for tldr I’m sleep deprived. It might be notable to mention that when I would think about fetishes I liked before I got a bf, I was still living with parents being in my childhood bedroom everyday. I feel that when I lived with my parents I was more delusional about the real world but also more imaginative/had time to daydream more. I feel like this could have something to do with it. I feel like since I have a room to myself again I have daydreamed a bit more as it’s something I use to cope, but can’t get myself back to that place if that makes sense
>>31686324You don't have to act on weird fantasies, OP. It's okay to feel ashamed, it doesn't make you a bad person though.Also, it's okay for your goals to take longer to achieve. Each adult lives life at their own pace. Sure, you can't go back to being a child (who wouldn't like that), but on the other hand, you're free now.Also, because you made it clear you're a woman: don't consider yourself "old" until you're at least 40, and even then don't get into that mentality, don't cheat yourself out of a good life that way, this "I'm an old-ass bitch" kind of shit is a surefire way to rot away waiting for your own death and waste perfectly good years, fuck that.
>>31686095Work on your insecurities, seriously.
>>31686095>I always fantasized about being raped in a vulnerable state by my ideal man W-what?
