I'm really upset my art isn't getting more engagement/feedback on social media. Especially the stuff related to where I'm at in my healing. I feel like no one (well hardly anyone) values my work or what it means to me. Does anyone have advice how to not let the lack of attention get to me? I want to persevere and grow as an artist but this morning I caught myself having some self destructive thoughts. I know a lot will change after my hysterectomy and I get back into college, but it's just so hard to stay patient during this awkward wait period. I wish more people were interested in my stuff. I don't know why it matters. The guy I recently started seeing casually and my therapist get where I am coming from, at least.
>>31686772This hurt my heart to read, but I hope you know that you making art is so amazing, even if it’s just for you. You don’t need the validation of others to be valid in your creations, but I can understand the sadness. I’d subscribe to your art blog :D
>>31686776Thank you. I have been experimenting with datura and amanita muscaria and other plant medicine lately. The things I've realized while painting through the grief are incredible to me. I don't understand why more people aren't happy for me. There was a time I never thought I'd be capable of art again. I used to be doing really poorly - usually not even in a situation conducive to the making of art. I would like to keep making the most out of what I have. I'm sure college level art classes will help me a lot.
>>31686791Maybe they don’t realize the depths of hell you’ve had to walk through to get to where you are now. A lot of people can’t even fathom that level of pain, especially if you were taking datura and such, that stuff is pretty intense, and you mentioned a hysterectomy so I assume you’ve had some SA in your life of some kind, or at least a lot of self loathing. Lots of people won’t and don’t want to see that, and that’s okay. The people who are worthy of you will see it, and they’ll be overjoyed that your spirit has come roaring back. I’m so proud of you for fighting through all you did and getting to a point where you can create again, and you have a solid plan for yourself, a boyfriend too. You’re doing amazing things for yourself, don’t stop!
>>31686772Do you have any more healthy organs you'd like to remove?Can I borrow your boobs? Just for the weekend? Pretty please.
>>31686772Hi anon, I'm also an artist who's suffered a lot from mental health problems in the past couple of years. I had been applying for arts grants as well as jobs for years and received nothing but rejection. All the unpaid projects I tried to be a part of fell apart or didn't happen at all.I took a lot of time off from making any art. The sad truth is, there are so many people that can create art, and generally no one cares. You need to create for yourself, and no one else. If you need an audience to be motivated (which is understandable) then you're better off not creating anything. Maybe eventually you'll be inspired and create something because _you_ want to create it.Try not to look for validation from others. I know what it's like as an artist. I understand how devastating it is when you put your heart and soul and dozens or even hundreds of hours into a project and find that not a single person cares. There is no solution to it, other than to stop seeking validation from others. We need to learn to be comfortable and happy within ourselves, and create only what we want, when we want to, with the only audience in mind being ourselves.
>>31686772Good job getting through all you've been through I want to open with. Regarding creation I just work on my arts (game design and writing) privately for the most part, but will just flesh them out til perfection as I can throughout my life uncaring of their commercial success but always dreaming. I also started playing guilele and same with that, but it's fun to dream and try. I think people just aren't so into drawings and paintings these days because they are bombarded with beautiful imagery, and what you draw and paint almost matters more than your skills, like that guy that paints Trump and Jesus. Another example is musician's popularity and wealth peaking probably a decade or two ago, or actors basically becoming irrelevant when they used to be gods. The truth is if you look into it performative and craft arts come in and out of style and change a lot, but regardless what you've studied a lot of what you study can be transferred to other arts and crafts. It's more about writing a beautiful song than being the best at your instrument, this very old man who plays guitar amazingly told me. I hope you get lots of recognitions and (You)s though.
>>31686801Hi again. Sorry for the late reply. I had to use the restroom. It's hard to type while straining on the toilet. lol You are very perceptive. Yes, I was sexually abused in my childhood and later ended up in some sketchy situations. I was also groomed as a minor, etc. I was even briefly trafficked sometime in my 20s. (I'll be 32 later on this summer.) Thank you for understanding how hard I worked to get my spirit back. I'm surprised I am even starting to enjoy sexual stimulation without feeling shameful, gross, and stuff. I used to get a trauma response just from masturbating. The hysterectomy is to prevent cancer. I also have PMDD and endometriosis, so I imagine my moods and pain won't be as extreme with the thing removed.
>>31686860Keep trying. Sounds like you have more skills built up than me already, at least. My growth was stunted. I spent a lot of time (years) living in and out of shelters, wards, etc. just trying to find an antipsychotic that would serve me properly. I am likely getting my own house next year, though!! I never thought I would have anything like that. I didn't even think I would manage to keep my apartment. I thought I'd end up in a crappy group home or lose custody over myself in some other way.
>>31686968Hello haha, no issues, I just got off work. > I'm surprised I am even starting to enjoy sexual stimulation without feeling shameful, gross, and stuff. I used to get a trauma response just from masturbating.Man that’s just awful. I’m so sorry you had to experience these awful things. It must’ve been so hard for you to work through all of this. I’m proud of you, your boyfriend must be so caring and patient, you’re a lucky lady. And he’s a lucky guy to have someone who’s so strong. > The hysterectomy is to prevent cancer. I also have PMDD and endometriosis, so I imagine my moods and pain won't be as extreme with the thing removed.Jesus, that’s rough. It sounds a lot like how my mother was though, she got a hysterectomy and it made a notable difference in her demeanour and temperament, so I’m sure it’ll be great for you too. When is the surgery? I’ll send you some mental flowers.
>>31687000My next consultation is in September! I am guessing it'll be within 6 months of that, or sometime after I move from my apartment into a casita. Yes, the person I am seeing is patient. Seems to care, too. I like a lot of things about him so far. He didn't get mad my cat kept meowing at the door while I was trying to suck his weiner. Thanks for reminding me to make sure we have lube and condoms next time. He wants to give me a good weinering. It's been a while for me. It should be fine. My life used to be a sausage fest. I'm not even on birth control because it exacerbates certain unpleasant issues, hence why condoms are required until I get fixed. I might let him at least rub me off next time. I enjoyed giving head last time he was here.
>>31686772Best of luck i I feel the same
>>31687039Hahahahahaha, okay! You lovebirds have fun, good luck with everything. The nice thing about a hysterectomy will be the money you save on condoms lol. Around the house sexo too, life is on the up and up. I'm 26 and my life has not gone swimmingly but it's nice to see that it does get better.
>>31686772If you create art for attention it will never be good, give up or get serious about capturing the human experience.
>>31686772There are a million people creating their super special unique artwork and nobody but themselves and their mum give a shit and they certainly don't give a shit about your trauma and your healing or whatever bullshit you're talking aboutwelcome to reality. Try being a disable LGBT refugee next time and people might pay attention
>>31687315I agree. It's not for attention. It's to work through my trauma and express myself and more I don't feel like summarizing at the moment. After venting to you all, I am confused as to why I was upset about Internet points. I am a real artist, I'd say. Especially after I build up more skills to get things out of my head, it's gonna get better. I am already serious about persevering. Otherwise I wouldn't have reached out here.
