Been talking and dating a girl with adhd - some minor adhd I would say - and I’m wondering what I’m signing up for? What the are the upsides and downsides to a girl with adhd? Common traits associated, and what should I avoid doing or should avoid from her side? Is it worth the hassle?
>>31686935ADHD can be very different depending on the person. Last girl I dated had ADHD and it basically killed the relationship. She was a terrible communicator and would regularly just forget to reply, forget about plans we had, or simply disappear for hours at a time. She could rarely hold down a conversation and didn't like talking about herself so most of our talks were just me monologuing and feeling like an autist because I was taking up so much space in the conversation. She was the kind of person to be hyper-obsessed with a single game for months at a time. When I tried to get her into new games she'd get really stressed out because it was difficult for her to learn new controls and she'd dodge hanging out until she'd spend enough time playing the game by herself to grasp the controls. Simple tasks like going out to get groceries and cooking dinner would take her hours. In fact if she had a day where she was going to do a few chores that would take a normal person just an hour or two she wouldn't be able to spent time with me at all because doing those few chores took her most of the day and stressed her out a ton.That said, she had a lot of good features too, otherwise I never would have dated her. If you girl just has minor ADHD these things likely won't be present or as severe as they were in my ex, but they are things to look out for. You need to be extra communicative to compensate for her possible lack of communication, and constantly remind her of your plans and things she needs to do (like taking meds).
red flagmove on
>>31686935Niggas legit can't take responsibility for anything.They forgot something, it's your fault and your problem.They got distracted, it's your fault and your problem.They disagree with you on whether something needs to be done or not, your fault and your problem.They got 0 humility. Honestly a pain in the ass to deal with.
>>31687183Worst part is that if you talk to them about it they'll just get mad and say you're not 'accepting them for who they are'. Bitch you have a mental illness.
>>31687118Im thinking she doesn’t have it as severe as yours, no dyed hair, no tattoos, daddy issues yes, took some depressant years , years ago but no longer on any meds, does communicate and is around most of the time- is it still something to be wary of? I mean I’ve heard stories of adhd girls being more likely to cheat is there any truth to this, what are some telltales signs?
>>31687230ADHD girls aren't more likely to cheat. I don't know where you got that from.BPD girls on the other hand...
>>31687306Doesn’t adhd cause boredom and lack of impulse control. They sound like recipes for a chance for someone to cheat I feel like.
>>31687321Yeah, you're right. But lack of impulse control only leads to cheating if they're already someone who doesn't think much of cheating. ADHD lack of impulse control tends to be more about buying shit they don't really need or spending a lot of time doing unproductive shit when they really should be doing work.
>>31687339How do you think I should navigate the conversation to figure the cheating part out?
>>31687356I mean I think it's a little manipulative to go fishing for these answers. That said, just tell a story about how you found out some random (male) online friend of yours got cheated on and you don't know if you should tell him. If she thinks you should tell him, or responds with disgust to the fact that he got cheated on, she's not likely to cheat herself. If she says things like "it's not your business" or she starts digging for reasons why your friend's girlfriend cheated on him she's very likely the type of person who will cheat on impulse and make excuses for why it's okay for her to cheat.In reality though, you should have a deep enough understanding of her character that you're able to tell if she's the kind of person who'd cheat. All women I've been with made it very clear that they were loyal. Any woman who doesn't make you feel like that isn't someone you should be with. You're probably just paranoid though.
>>31687230>I mean I’ve heard stories of adhd girls being more likely to cheat is there any truth to this, what are some telltales signs?lol what? noyou should just ask her how her ADHD affects her. Inquire & observe what coping strategies she has in place. Like for me, I have to make sure I immediately put any events I have to attend into my calendar and I set three reminders -- one for 1 day before so I remember "oh yeah, that appointment is tomorrow", one at the time I want to start getting ready and one that reminds me GET YOUR ASS OUT THE DOOR NOW. I'm very meticulous about notes I take at work because you can tell me something and my brain can potentially forget it almost immediately. I lay out all my clothes and make sure everything is in my work bag the night before so I don't have to worry about how groggy I am in the morning & forgetting shit rushing out the door, one of my peak forgetfulness times. I have to be more mindful of my sleep than others or else my adderall efficacy goes down the drain. I have to make sure I plan out my meals for the week because, again, if I don't eat enough my adderall is not as effective and I have an even shorter fuse than normal. I feel my temper is worse than average which is doubly not fun because people really do not like angry women. My ADHD is probably worse than hers though, I wouldn't describe mine as minor.
>>31690300Solid advice, at what point does adhd become a hindrance?
