First reponder here. Officer.TL;DR I had a rough shift last night that ended in me realizing there's a lot more shit wrong with me than I thought. Debating seeing a therapist. Unsure.TL part; Elaborating on what went thru my head last night, I'm basically fighting undiagnosed PTSD and a miltitude of other issues.I'm not very old. I'm barely over 22, and I've only been in the force for a couple years now, having started as a civillian employee, and now have been an officer for nearly a year.Nowadays though, I'm starting to feel signing up for this job was a bad idea. Mostly cause before I even joined the force as a civillian right out of high school, I was dealing with a lotta family shit at home.Needless to say, my parents weren't the best to each other nor for myself, and that resulted in pretty fucked up circumstances growing up. Some of which was straight up illegal shit that I could probably report myself now that I'm an adult. I just feel I need to talk to someone who doesn't know anything about me at all; someone with a clean slate on what to do with me. I feel like I need to get the years worth of BS my family dealt to me and themselves off my chest to someone who doesn't entirely know who I am so that I may say my feelings without recieving any bias, but I've been seeing nothing but horror stories about how shitty therapists can be, and how a lot of them just spout reciprocated PSAs n shit.After becoming an Officer, I went in knowing how bad it could get, but I didn't think I'd hallucinate and get nightmares on repeat. I feel like shit and I want to fix it, but I just don't know how.
>>31688703Is it worth it? Probably not.Is it better than trying to cope with it yourself or relying on a random schmuck's improvised talk therapy to support your mental health? Certainly.Also if you're dealing with hallucinations you definitely need psychological help, by a psychologist or psychiatrist. Not merely a therapist.Your workplace may be able to support you. There may be an in-house therapy service. It can be useful to ask about confidentiality rules, since you may not want to reveal this to your workplace if your livelihood is precarious.
Yes but you need to find the right therapist. My current therapist is great and changed my whole perspective on them. Hell...she's even a woman
We're all anonymous here, most family and youth problems have common traits across humanity, and most people don't give a shit about what goes on in the life of a cop, so I guess you can tell us a few things, without revealing sensitive info.>I feel like shit and I want to fix it, but I just don't know how.I have a take you might not be ready to hear and that you might not like very much, but it's very close to what this guy is saying.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nl5zMIwcmQtl;dr: quit for your health
>>31688703I won't read "is it worth it" threads. Try it and let us know. Do SOMETHING, to prove you are trying to fix your situation instead of whining, venting, or making some stupid political or philosophical point.
>>31688872holy shit you're the most annoying anon on this board by far, and that's a serious achievement considering where we are
>>31688703>i have undiagnosed ptsd, a debilitating mental illness >but i’m going to hem and haww instead of getting the professional help i need Make it make sense.
>>31688922he is easily the best poster on this board
>>31688951wrong
>>31688703>I was dealing with a lotta family shit at home.Hey OP, I came here to tell you that I was gonna guess this is why you became a cop.It all goes back to childhood, especially if childhood was pretty ruthless. A kid in that world likes one of two paths. Cop or Robber. Remember? Cops n’ robbers? Which way abused kid? Yeah that’s the choice a kid gets.Some kids pick cop/protector/defender cuz they wanna know how to prevent mom and dad from fighting.And other kids pick robber/criminal/offender cuz they wanna fight back and stop mom or dad from hurting them.Okay fast forward a whole lifetime and make the two kids into adults and throw them into civilised society and guess what game is being played? Cops N Robbers lol. And the cop adult is chasing the robber adult to try and stop him meanwhile robber adult is running away to try and outsmart and best him. Kinda fucked up in some countries cuz in the end, bang bang. Cop kills the other kid. He took the game too seriously. Some times its the other way around. Bang bang robber killed the cop. Toy soldiers brother“Won’t you come out and play with me?”https://youtu.be/LvdLovAaYzM?si=l0ayoNteR0FtII6i
>>31689006Makes sense.You're right, I suppose. About how things played out ending up with me being a cop.Thanks.>>31688941Keyword-'Basically'Probably PTSD, probably not. Just seeing shit and bad nightmares.I should have mentioned that I *am* looking into getting the help regardless. Have been searching for doctors left n right all week looking for ones that take my insurance.I just have doubts about it, and I'm looking to see if anyone else who're seeking therapists/psychiatric help has had any good experiences or not.Going thru with it regardless.>>31688922>>31688872See above ^
>>31689239Further, I should have mentioned that the aforementioned shift from last night was more of a push in this direction. I've always known something was wrong, just didn't think it was that bad.
>>31689239>About how things played out ending up with me being a cop.>Thanks.Anytime brother. One more thing to consider: Maybe that’s okay, maybe that’s what fate decided for you. To be a cop. Even if it was from a harsh origin, it doesn’t mean you need to have a harsh career, yeah? So simply enjoy being a cop, protect and serve and all that. Protect who? The people. Serve who? The criminals, the ‘robber’ to your cop. Serve them their rights. Only this time, mean every word. You tell them “Although you are wayward, you have value” more or less. Treat them like people, lost and scared and don’t know any other way home. This doesn’t mean don’t throw the book at them. It means just hand them the book. When you detain them or chase them, do it with righteousness, not hatred. Always try to see the human in them, and of yourself.
>>31688703Real talk - Therapy cannot help you with long term problems unless you're capable of solving them yourself. It can HELP.... if you're already motivated enough and able to actually buckle down and do the things. If you're not, it's a huge waste of money.The other scenario where therapy can help is if you're so far under water that you're basically going to sudoku. talking to a therapist for a couple of months can probably help get you out of the red zone, but that won't necessarily translate into continued improvement because of the first thing I wrote.
>>31689903This post has some good points to consider. Thats why it depends on the type of therapy. Currently the three main ones are- Cognitive behavioural (learn how to manage habits or impulses)- Dialectic Behavioural (Talking about where feelings come from in your life, how to respond to them, etc)- Psychotherapy which is basically a combo of both iirc.There’s a sort of in between therapy model that works called CPT, cognitive processing therapy, that touches on how external shit can trigger emotional flashbacks in people with PTSD and how to manage and confront those.The goal of therapy or any good therapist is to help the person integrate and internalise all these useful tools so he can use it for himself and he wont need therapy anymore.
>>31688745How's your therapist, what do you like about her?
