>>31690528
Most "normal" people are just as insane and dumb as (You), they are just good at pretending in front of others. Which is not really an enviable way of life either.

>>31690528
What's the real issue? Why do you want to be "normal"? To fit in better and have more friends? To be better at keeping a job?..
We all have our struggles OP, even "normal" people.

>>31690604
always thought its just me putting on a mask desu
>>31690636
>To fit in better and have more friends?
I guess that? I had some friends back in school but it always felt like I was faking a lot of stuff and It didn't feel good, yet I feel lonely and sad when I have nobody irl.
>To be better at keeping a job?
Nah, my job is pretty good and I like it

>>31690604
Came here to say this. I'm not an autist, and this was me for about 30-something years. (20 years straight realistically if we don't count childhood/teens). You can prove this instantly OP, just work in a call center lol.

>Normie colleague receives call from angry customer
>Normie colleague does a nice melodic positive voice and follows script to calm angry customer down
>Normie hangs up phone when call is done
>Normie turns you you, sighing, and says "phew.. wow what a fucking cunt that caller was."

Masking. Everyone does it.

>>31690528
>How do I stop hating myself for being a weird autist and not normal?
Because it isn't logical and I know autists love logic right? So here's where the logic doesn't add up:
>Autists struggle to know who they are, where they fit in
>Yet somehow think they should hate themselves
???? what happened. you can't hate who you don't know, right?

Okay so what about blame, should autist blame his/herself?

>born with a genetic disorder caused by the shank-2 gene (theory)
>disorder causes sensory processing issues (ow socializing feels painful to my brain)
>autist becomes reluctant to go outside, to hold convos, to be in groups cuz its painful. (remember not in their control, not their fault).
>autist ends up not learning social cues as an adult
If anyone says it's the autists fault, they are either ignorant of the disorder or are genuinely being cunts. Ignore them/discard them/blocklist/cut them out of your life etc etc.

It's not your fault. But it is now your responsibility as an adult. So all it means is you learn how the social dynamics work, find the logic in them, have people explain it to you in an autist friendly way or connect with autism friendly support groups or read the literature written by autists who managed to learn the social code.