On the cusp of making the plunge again. Divorce is finalized, and my social circle is basically non-existent, so no chance of being introduced to anyone.All I hear is that "it's a warzone out there", and the classic top 1% of men take the lion's share, and it's honestly confronting. I have no idea where to start, or how to go about it. I've signed up for POF & Tinder in the past two weeks, kind of a test-out-the water situation, and the only matches I have had have both mocked my display picture, which I've attached.As much as I am looking for genuine advice, it would be reassuring to know that I'm not totally repugnant and alone.
>>31692269if i was trying i would just go out a lot, at least twice a week bare minimum, to a bar, concerts, and stuff like that.
Gotta start with the right mentality first.Don't go in thinking it's a warzone, don't create an adversarial relationship between you amd the world. There are millions of great people out there for you to meet and make great friendships with. Notice I'm saying "friendships", not "sexual relationships", because friends are way more important for you right now, but you're fresh from a divorce and you don't realize it.Make friends especially out of good women who aren't sexually interested in you. Get them in -your- friendzone, their social skills will rub off on you and you need that shit bad.Avoid apps, they're a money trap and you won't make genuine connections there.Do you have any interests or other things you gave up on because of marriage? Time to pick them up again. I don't know you enough to tell if you're "repugnant" or not, but I know people won't approach a guy whose only aim is to check if "he still got it", they will approach an imperfect but interesting dude though.You're probably not that old anyway, go live your life, you got a lot of it ahead of you.
>>31692290I've been eating at this Chinese restaurant a few times a week, and just talking with the waitresses has really helped my self-confidence, but it's just difficult to get to that next point where you arrange dinner or a movie together.
>>31692304i would just talk to random women at bars and concerts and corny events i can find, and if it was going well enough you basically just ask them to hang out. a lot of times the girl will want your number or get it if it goes well.
>>31692269gordon ramsay?!
>>31692269is that pic you and you are over 40? Don't try to be under 40. Don't look into the camera, don't have an indoor picture. Keep it casual and fun, so no pressuring yourself.
>>31692386One of the women on plenty of fish said I look like Gordon Ramsay if he had Hepatitis B, and honestly it really upset me. And she was Chinese, too.
>>31692386Sorry, I've replied to you twice. Yes, I'm over 40.But even the whole picture process, it's like I don't know where to begin. Most pictures I have also feature the ex-wife, and I don't have anyone to snap a picture of me from a different angle, so you find yourself on Reddit looking at the selfies and emulating it I guess, and it doesn't work.
>>31692269To be brutally honest, you are not the best looking. Do you at least make up for it with money? Do you have your shit together?I have no idea what advice to give to a 40+ year old man, with your genetic value.Maybe try geomaxing? Asia? South America? Africa? Your best bet.Also look up mens style, dress more your age. Put a bit of effort into your fashion, something that shows your wealth, class, but don’t be too obnoxious about it.
>>31692396> Gordon Ramsay if he had Hepatitis Blmao, I see the resemblance. Not sure about the hepatitis. The issue is you looking too tense too. You aren't a virgin, so no need to be insecure about it. You would also look good with a beard. >>31692404Use the camera timer. Set it up outside, and just act like you are doing or looking at something outside while someone took a picture of you. If you have a hobby, take a pic while doing it. Once your are happy with you profile, you can move on with going through all the trash and hope you find someone good. It's more an effort and takes time, can't really do much other not being too demotivated.
>>31692430Apparently the white's of my eyes have a yellow haze to them (according to her anyway), but I think she was just trying to be cruel honestly. And being hit with that when you've just made a return, it's just so disheartening.Thank you for the beard suggestion. I'm going to let it grow out, and see if I can get the beginning somewhat styled when I go and get my streaks touched up next month.Hopefully this didn't come across as a pity party, because that was not the intention.
>>31692423My financial position is comfortable. I mean, my rent is paid, I can order a pizza on Sundays, and I'll have a little egg when the house is sold.I actually met the ex through early 2000's geomaxxing (she's from Beijing, and came to Melbourne), so I don't know why I didn't think of that sooner.I'm going to experiment with some pieces in my wardrobe tonight; I threw this together, and I feel quite good about the results.
>>31692537>trying to be cruel honestly.they aren't trying, they just are. And once someone is slightly vulnerable they abuse them, since irl they are frustrated and don't have the chance. She won't be the last one, just block anyone like that and move on.
You look good my man! Don't worrry, you got this. I would say focus also on the things that might not be optimal and fix them taking it slow:>how is your sleep>how is your physical health>can you meet new people through hobbies>is your diet balanced>any career goalsWish you all the best king
There's literelly only 2 ways for men to speak to women nowadays1) schools2) people you already knowthat's itmeaning that if you're asking this question it means your only way out is to quit your job, enroll in university again and meet women there>>31692290that doesn't work, outside no one speaks to anyone but people they already knowin bars they sit with their boyfriend, at concerts there's just shitty loud musicthere's only one stuff that lets men speak to women and it's school
>>31692553Why bother man, all that trouble for a bit of puss here and there. Just get an escortAt least they will be upfront about using you for money. Fr
>>31692860I'm definitely open to it, there's so many advantages, but I think coming out of a 12 year marriage, there's this great unknown about whether I still have that ability to pull a bit of moot, you know.I mean, of course that is something that I miss, but there's just this huge uncertainty about where I fit now; and you have to wonder at what point do you resign yourself to having to pay for it.
>>31692269>my social circle is basically non-existentHonestly, you need to address that before you even start thinking about dating. Women want a man with social skills who is capable of forming normal relationships with other human beings. Your photos should mostly be pics that were taken by your friends in social situations.
>>31692835It's the Blackpilled Prince of Bangalore, Schooler!
>>31692835DER SCHOOLER IN DA HOUSE!!!!!!WOOOOOT!How the Hell is the slum, Schooler?
>>31692269>top 1% of men take the lion's shareKilled the LARP.No one over the age of 30 that has ever had sex believes retarded shit like that.
It's over bruh. Let it go pops. Just hit the asian massage parlour from time to time to get your nut
>>31693717>>31693723>bangaloreis that where you're from you monkey? stay to that shithole slum and keep your blackpills to yourself, you have nothing to add to conversation but prove how retarded you monkeys are
>>31692835everyone knows women are too busy going to class and studying to talk in school.The only pace to meet women is at bars or parks, maybe a book store, library, or ice cream parlor
>>31693783>please be doing the needful or going to school, saarFTFY, Schooler
>>31693786>saarEven when you try to argue with me you keep using your subhuman dialect exposing your natural inferiorityKill yourself pajeetard>>31693784Nope. In bars they sit inside meat wall made up of men they already know and there's no way to cut through them all on top of there being no possible words to say long enough to form relationship there, there's nothing to say to random passerbies in parkes/stores long enough to get to know them, people just come in to get their shit and leave, there's a reason why in all of human history no one ever wrote what could be said to stranger in these settings to form a relationshiplibraries are straight up empty outside of ones in unisIn schools they spend most of their time chilling around between classes around hallways/corridors and talking to other students.
>>31693801>>31693783>>31692835Missed you, Schooler. the place just isn't the same without you.You ever talk to a woman? Or are you still waiting to use your memorized conversations?
>>31693783SIR YOU ARE FUCKING INDIAN SIRSCHOOLER SIR DO YOU NEED HELP SIE YOU ARE FUCKING INDIAN DO YOU NEED HELP?
>>31693801>Please be kind, Saar, I am from the slums and very poorFTFY
>>31693801>no way to cut through them allBe taller and stronger than them. Simple as.
>>31693823>>31693824>more indian retardationidk what it is with you monkeys sperging out whenever someone explains to you basic social etiquette this is the level you're lowering yourself by disagreeing with me >>31693821 you're just trying to pander to some celibate monkeys who cannot even speak human language much less think on their own>memorized conversationsas opposed to never using any words or interacting with anyone in my life like everyone who disagrees with me and is incapable of even imagining a conversation? yes
>>31693839EXCUSE ME SIR BUT YOU ARE FUCKING INDIAN EXCUSE ME SIR BUT YOU ARE FUCKING INDIAN EXCUSE ME SIR BUT YOU ARE FUCKING INDIAN
You look like an alcoholic and your room is disgusting, hire an interior designer or something
>>31693839Translation from Schooler into Human: He has never, ever in his life ever talked to a woman. he has said this himself more than once
>>31693839
>>31693801>bars they sit inside meat wall made up of men they already know and there's no way to cut through them allBut I met my current GF at a bar! It was a honky tonk and we met line dancing
>>31692835Schooler thread! SCHOOLER THREAD!
Holy shit, it's Wink Martindale!
>>31694121I honestly loled
>>31692269Make sure you have something you're passionate about- like a hobby/sport- that makes you an interesting person. People love passion. Preferably something that makes you fit/confident. Best of luck :)
>>31692553I don’t like the rings at all. Used car dealer vibes. You look fine otherwise, just relax.Try just making friends and expanding your social circle. I joined a local volunteering group when I was younger and living in a new city where I didn’t know anyone. We would usually volunteer at all day events, then go out for drinks afterwards. I made friends with people from their 20’s to their 60’s. I was in a long distance relationship at the time and wasn’t trying to meet women, but there were definitely single women in their 40’s there.Volunteering made me feel like I was doing something good, and meeting people from completely different generations and backgrounds gave me more perspective on life.
>>31692835AAAAAAAAA IM GONNA LOITER AROUND SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLSIIIIMMMMMSCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLING
>>31693913No you didn't. If you ever went to a bar you'd see it's just tables where men surround women at all times>>31693939Here's a hypothetical for you pajeetard : You're stuck alone in an elevator for 320 hours. How do you meet a woman while completely isolated in elevator with no option to speak to women? >>31694249>>31693859stay seething retardyou cannot debunk me, my logic is flawlesskeep seething and raging
>>31692835yeah nothing happens mostly when i go out that's why you have to go out like every day if possible
>>31694382repeating something that obviously doesn't work will just keep not workingthere's no one to talk to "out" women only ever speak to men "in" inside of schoolsinside their social circlethat's it, there's nowhere else to get to speak to themit doesn't matter how much you or every other incel goes out, all you ever see are other incels because there are no women out, they're all locked inside their rooms, meatcubes or schools, they don't spend any time where incels can get to talk to them beyond schools
>>31692430Get the beard and look like an explorer or smth in your picturesProbably OP's best bet
>>31692553Every picture you post has technical issues ranging from contrast being too high or too low, weird light reflections, bad posture, strange photo focus / depth of field issues.Just find some recent professionally taken engagement photos and try to do the photo without the fiance, more or less.Get rid of anything shiny in the frame, have a reasonable contrast between you and the background, having nothing in the background looks as weird as having too much "stuff" in the background (with the exception of nature photos).Yes, I know it feels weird to stand up straight in a park in front of a tree while looking at a neutral height not too high or low but the pictures will look better so just do it.Its not that ALL you need is technically proficient photos but in a competition (which dating is) its kind of required as the minimum... Your aim should not be to barely do better than the worst dudes on the site because they're not getting any.I have no comment on the dating aspect of this but you might want to consider asking some woman to take your pictures, even if you have to pay for it. Dudes might not pay for sex (or maybe they do, doesn't matter) but dudes probably should pay a photographer; that is worth it. And chicks will take pics that appeal to chicks, so find a female photographer.
>>31694374Yes, I didWe go back to the same bar every month.If you ever went to a bar you would know women talk there
>>31695127No, you didn'tIf you ever went to a bar you'd see that there's just meat walls there every time and no one would even be aware of some random incel sitting there once a monthWomen are biologically incapable of speaking outside of schools or their social circle
>>31694401repeating something that works 1/10000 times does work, but not always. yes dating is easier if you are a 10/10 6foot tall billionaire with 10,000 friends that is in university and meets new people daily. Did you need that confirmed? Confirmed.
I got married at 21 and divorced at 27.I moved to a new city and had zero friends or acquaintances. I wound up just getting a job I could handle that paid well enough, I was way over qualified for it but just needed to chill for a while. I then started going to things I really enjoyed doing, by myself. Eventually I met people at these events and started hanging out with other people more, mostly women and I treated them as friends, never romantic interests. Eventually I got in to a few friend groups and started having a life again. Eventually I did meet a woman and got serious. Those connections with new feiends fizzled out but I wound up having kids and a whole life with another person. So I guess what I'm trying to day is just go do all the shit you want to do and do it alone. Eventually you will meet new people to be friends with as long as you're open to it
>>31694235Thank you for the words, King.I used to create masks, the process of which I would film for my small YouTube channel, but I dropped it when the marriage failed, so I think I might revisit that for a start.Waking up this morning, I genuinely feel really optimistic about the future.
>>31695354Ah the ever ambiguous "events" and "activities I enjoy"Name 5 of them. If you're really a social butterfly it should be easy. I don't care if you have to list a buttplug convention as one of them, just pot them.
>>31693751Hahah, I think I'll be well avoiding the Asian ones. The ex-wife was from Beijing.I was talking to a woman on the train the other day who was from Brazil, so i might be on the lookout for a South American parlour in Melbourne now lol.
>>31693558Where I'm from, it's become a really insular environment. I think with the cost of living, so many people are under immense stress constantly, that the need for socialisation gets neglected.I found this photo my sister took of me for Christmas, and I think I'm going to start using it.
>>31695152Yes.If YOU had ever been to a honky tonk you'd know there is a lot of talking, dancing, and eating with strangers.That is why you go!
>>31696460much better
>>31696442NTA1) the singles events at local parishes2) swing dancing3) Habitat for Humanity4) Tech Association lectures and networking events5) Chamber of Commerce eventsbonus round6) games nights at the FLGS7) dances at the legion8) trivia night at the local bar9) tailgating 10) local art, food, and music festivals11) intramural softballI can go on.How do you NOT know about these sorts of things?
