How do I convince my gf to talk to me about problems she's having with me/the relationship? My previous ex never did despite the emphasis I put on us being open and honest with eachother. Apparently something was wrong and it built up and she came to resent me for it even though I didn't know anything was wrong. This all came to a head whenever she dumped me out of the blue for something very small I would've been able to fix easily I have a new relationship now but how can I prevent a similar situation from happening with my new gf?
Tell her: "How do I convince you to talk to me about problems you might be having with me/the relationship? My previous ex never did despite the emphasis I put on us being open and honest with eachother. Apparently something was wrong and it built up and she came to resent me for it even though I didn't know anything was wrong. This all came to a head whenever she dumped me out of the blue for something very small I would've been able to fix easily. I love you and I don't want this to happen with us."
>>31692519If someone can't communicate like a reasonable human being, especially after you reach out to them, dump them. It doesn't get better.And I'm not trying to be glib. In that situation either your partner is an idiot or the relationship is fundamentally broken. I mean, I can understand not wanting to talk about problems. You shouldn't have to tell your partner to do basic things and be an adult. It's exhausting and humiliating. Especially women don't want a partner who is like a little boy who needs to be reminded over and over again to take out the trash and brush their teeth.But a lot of people are petty and manipulative and that's why they don't want to talk about probems. So my point is if it's that hard then break up. You can't build a life with its ups and downs with someone you can't even talk to.
>>31692519Just don’t, simple as. If you go looking for problems you will find them.
My partner and I have a deal, and we talked about this kinda the first time it made sense - If one of us does something that bugs the other person we have to either bring it up at the time, or let it go. At no point is it OK for either of us to ever bring up historical stuff as valid grievances if it wasn't discussed at the time.This has worked really well for us for over a decade now. If something's not right, it gets mentioned and dealt with or it gets let go of. And I mean genuinely let go of. If either of us were to go back on this and start dragging old unsaid sit up in a way that suggests we've been doing any kind of 'keeping score', it'd be a really big deal and we'd hit a need to re-evaluate our relationship. Not because of the validity (or not) of that stuff that's been building up, but because of the walking back of the agreed line - Raise it at the time or let it go.I wouldn't tolerate being with a partner that's not OK with this. Someone that needs to save things up, or needs those occasional shouting matches or any of that kind of soap opera shit... Simply not someone I'm compatible with. Getting that known early is important. Being able to walk away if it's not agreed upon is important.
>>31692632Best advice itt
