My partner identifies as cishet, but I'm bigender and feel like I'm a little bit of a guy too sometimes. My partner is aware of this and it feels almost like he's pressuring me to wear feminine clothes out of spite for the masculine elements of my gender identity.I've been feeling emasculated by all this, but when I try to tell him that he's like, "you can't be emasculated because you're not a guy". I know that's kind of a bigoted response on his end, but I really like this guy and I'm hoping to get through to him. I'd appreciate any advice.
so you're half a guy and you like a guy?kinda gay bro
>>31693597>I'm a little bit of a guy too sometimes.how? Dressing like a butch, or just not feminine enough for him?> I'm hoping to get through to him.If you can't, what would be the alternative? Wouldn't he not already know that you are dressing differently when he met you?
>>31693597> it feels almost like he's pressuring me to wear feminine clothes out of spite for the masculine elements of my gender identity.Okay, so is this just a feeling you have or do you have any kind of evidence to corroborate this?
>>31693623Yeah I identify as heteroflexible and I'm a little gay since I'm bigender. My bf hates when I say that though.>>31693639I only started embracing my bigender identity two months ago, and started presenting over this last month. I'm dressing in like, a t shirt, jeans, and a plaid unbuttoned shirt on top. I have short-ish hair (shoulder length, I cut it back from mid-back length). He's been upset because until now I've only presented in feminine ways since that's how I was assigned at birth and how I was raised.>>31693650He's said outright that gender identity isn't real and he's called it "perverted" when I try to embrace the masculine side of my identity.
>>31693668So break up with him if he's being such an asshole about things you believe.
>>31693597>I know that's kind of a bigoted response on his endwell, he's right. you're not a man, you don't know what masculinity is. and that's ok.
>>31693683I live with him and I'm not financially independent enough to break up with him right now
>>31693692Well how'd you get yourself into that mess?
>>31693668Did you tell your boyfriend you've had these thoughts about the way you express yourself early on in the relationship?
Both of you are degenerates. It's all in your mind. It's a sickness, not an identity
>>31693692Then I think you should submit to his desires or at least feign submission until you've reached the point of financial independency. Maybe as a part of wanting to control you he wanted you do be financially dependent of him, so he has leverage on you. I'm aware that even feigning submission will probably damage you.
>>31693597I don't think there's really any relevant advice to give. You have a straight boyfriend, with straight preferences, that loves you. One or both of you has fucked up in letting the relationship get to this point with all other factors borne in mind.One of my close friends (male, not trans) is in a very similar situation to your man, except his partner was straight, non-trans female and presented very outwardly feminine. After almost five years of being together my friend's partner decided suddenly to adopt pronouns and identify as fluid. They effectively killed the woman my friend got into a relationship with, and expected him to stay in spite of it. He has, but I can tell it's eating him inside.Whose fault is this? Is it even anyone's fault?I think the only pertinent question when all is said and done isAre both parties being honest with each other and themselves?
>>31693597 >but I'm bigender You are a woman.>feel like I'm a little bit of a guy too sometimes. You feel more masculine sometimes, but are still a woman.>like he's pressuring me to wear feminine clothes out of my gender identity.Then say no, or get a job and move out.>you can't be emasculated because you're not a guyBut you aren't.Have you ever experienced real bigotry in your entire life? Real hatecrime? Real >Gender identityNot real, not perverted either. Go on testosterone and be a man if you so desire, and people will see you as such. It sounds like I'm being bigoted but I'm liberal as fuck and also a faggot. You. Are not. A man.
>>31693745Harsh but trueOP, you're trying to have your cake and eat it.You cannot expect to fundamentally change yourself and have the people affected by the change simply endure it to their detriment.You have an inalienable right in my opinion to do whatever the fuck you want to yourself, but that right does not and should not extend to moral coercion of other people to treat you identically to before.You are not the same person, and appealing to subjective morality with statements like>that's kind of a bigoted responseonly works on Twitter, not in real life. It's not going to suddenly make your man a faggot.
Bigoted femanon take: cishet men will be more attracted to femininity. He is mad you are making yourself less attractive to him by presenting as male!! I used to be a pan they them jacked mega dyke and surprise surprise, men were not attracted to me. Now I present feminine but am still in good shape. Spend less time online, less time around people who affirm being heckin quirky and valid. You’ll probably be happier with yourself. Or embrace being lgbtqxyz and leave him, don’t drag a cishet guy through your identity crisis. He’s a wuss for tolerating it at all, but I can’t blame him if you weren’t “bigender” when you got together. Let him go get with a woman who knows she is a woman.
>>31693597>My partner identifies as cishetNo, your partner IS 'cishet'. Identity has fuck all to do with it.>I'm hoping to get through to himNo, you're hoping to change his mind. You're hoping to change his sexual preferences to suit the identity you've chosen. This is not a matter of communication; it is one of fundamental misunderstanding on the nature of human attraction.
>>31693793Yeah OP is kind of an ass for just assuming her boyfriend should change his sexuality to respect her sudden shift in identity. That's actually pretty fucked up.
>>31693691I'm like 20% a guy in my mind, and I identify that way. Why do you think I don't understand masculinity?>>31693703He's been supporting me financially since my last work contract ended. I had to quit because the position was harmful to my mental health. I've been looking for a new job since, but I've had trouble finding anything.>>31693704I mentioned it but he said I'm "just a tomboy", and nothing changed about how he treated me like I still don't get invited to guy stuff.Everybody is trying to tell me I'm a woman but I feel like I'm only a woman sometimes, and like part of the time I feel like a guy. I just want to be able to feel like my guy self in those occasional times. I'm not even asking him to treat me like a guy all the time. I just want to be included in stuff and to learn what kind of porn my bf looks at
>>31693834>Everybody is trying to tell me I'm a womanNo we aren't, dumbass, we're trying to tell you that as far as your partner is concerned, he is in a relationship with one.It is selfish and immature to the point of sociopathy to expect love so unconditional from another person that they should have to change their sexuality to meet your whims.Your posts literally read like satire. I hope you're 12 and grow out of this.
>>31693834I'm not that commenter, I just got here>I'm 20% a guyNo. You are 100% a woman.Caveat: If you take T and pass as a man, then people will see you as a man. By all means go ahead, it's your life.>In my mindNo one else sees it that way yet.>Why do you think I don't understand masculinity?Because your conception of masculinity is most likely based upon media representations of masculinity or coveting male fashion and secondary sex characteristics.But you have no idea what it's like to be treated as a man daily, to have the brain composition of a man, and to be under the influence of male hormones.You can't "Feel" like a man. Sex and gender isnt a feeling. TLDR; you're a masculine woman and that's okay. You can present/dress masculinely, but you bf doesn't have to like it.
>bf pays all my bills>bf listens to all my bullshit>bf won't call me Dave>reddit is this abuse
>>31693597That sounds hot. If I had a vagina wielding bigender partner I would want to treat them like a total bro when they're feeling masculine and then have lovey dovey sex with them while they wear boy clothes.
>>31693899>I would want to treat them like a total bro when they're feeling masculineGood luck with that, mateTheir idea of masculinity - being loud, obnoxious and brash - is not the same as ours.
OP I feel bad for you but this seems to be a predicament entirely of your own creation.
>>31693597You don't need to bring identities or whatever into this and you shouldn't because it seems like it brings up bigger issues for you.Just say: I don't like being pressures to act more fem, please stop doing that
>>31693597He's trying to counter manipulate you out of the manipulation that got you into this position in the first place. If you stay in this relationship, you will adopt views more similar to his eventually.
OP is going to lose a perfectly good relationship with a guy who is paying for her shit just because she can't accept the fact women can have masculine traits without actually being men because she desperately wants to be oppressed.
Whst the fuck language is this fruit loop writing in? Did I have a stroke? It's all made up words and preteen angst. So two homos are having a spat. Is that a correct summary? Christ I miss who I was 2 minutes ago. Talk to your boyfriend, not us, kid. You'll figure it out.
>>31693956Man says to woman>you're not a guytrannies:>He's trying to counter manipulate you!!I'm so glad this shit only started after I locked a normal female down
>>31693692>I live with him and I'm not financially independent enough to break up with him right now>I really like this guy and I'm hoping to get through to himDisparate statements.In your own words, why are you in a relationship with this person?
>>31693597>le mentally ill special snowflakeeven LLMs are laughing at you at this point, can't imagine the howling people will get by reading your dystopian senile drivel in the future.
>>31693834>nothing changed about how he treated me like I still don't get invited to guy stuff>I just want to be included in stuff and to learn what kind of porn my bf looks atWhy would he change how he treats you? Isn't it a good thing that he sees you as you and doesn't base his treatment of you on your gender? Your interests in traditionally masculine interests don't have anything to do with gender. Women can like "guy things" so your exclusion from those activities is just about him not including you, period. It could be that he just wants to hang out with his own friends on his own, and he just uses "this is boys night" as a way to express that. Hanging out without partners is a normal social activity. Even gay guys do it. It's nice to occasionally be in "friend mode" and not have to be in "boyfriend mode". If you're there, he has to pay attention to you and attend to your needs.
>>31694028Did you really stop reading mid sentence just to write this post retard? I'm not saying anything about which position is right or wrong here but you can literally tell in OPs post that he's trying to manipulate her out of it. I'm not saying he's doing it maliciously nor am I saying it's a bad thing, I'm just stating what's happening in a neutral way.
>>31693597You are just confused. I feel compassion for you but also you need to really get it stuck into your brain that you are being retarded here. You're a girl.
