It feels stupid posting here because the solution seems clear, snap out of it, but it's not been so easy.I think I've been depressed for years but now it's affecting people around me I care about. I managed to get married last year and my mood just makes me want to be alone all the time making my wife unhappy. Work constantly stresses me out and I have nightmares all the time about it. I'm extremely underweight on top of it all and struggle to eat when I feel this way.The solution here is to get over myself, I know that, but I can't get myself there.Any anons who managed to turn their lives around? How did you manage it? I feel like an asshole 24/7
I watched anime.. moe literally cured me of depression
>>31696757Have you considered looking for another job? What have you tried to get better?
>>31696813>Have you considered looking for another job?The job I have pays well and I only started just over a month ago, so I don't want to drop it just yet.>What have you tried to get better?I've tried speaking to psychiatrists and counselors but it's hard to put across how I actually feel to them.I've tried keeping a diary, forcing myself to do my hobbies (drawing, music), meditation. I cycle an hour every day just going to and from work but I'm not sure if this counts as exercise.
>>31696895What came as a result of the time with the psychiatrists and counsellors? Was the only difficulty expressing yourself, or did you find other aspects hard? Will you consider going to a professional again, maybe a different kind, and maybe with a different mindset where you are more determined to get better and more open to discussing what's wrong?
>>31696757i think you have to find things that make you happy. That helps me. Still depressed tho but it revolves around being single. I think if I could have the best parts of my life from different ages I could be not depressed.
>>31696927I still see them as I also have schizophrenia which I go to talk to them about as well. It can feel wrong sometimes to talk about my depression to them when they're more concerned with the voices and things I see that aren't real.>>31696936>i think you have to find things that make you happy. The things that used to make me happy, or at least occupied, don't work anymore. If I had things completely my way I would work, sleep and occasionally eat when I'm starving.
>>31696945Great. Continue seeing them.What do you hope to get from /adv/ that you don't think you'll get from the professionals?
>>31696985I don't really have anyone to talk to about this (other than the professionals every 2 months) and today has been particularly bad. I was hoping to hear success stories to inspire myself to do better.
>>31696757I'm successful and not a jerk anymore but still depressed. Not to demoralize you or anything, just saying. I don't know what it is man. You can change your habits, your behavior, and still believe that there's no intrinsic value to life. So then you have to change your outlook. But that's easier said than done. Maybe I just have no motivation to socialize and therefore nobody to distract me from these thoughts.
>>31696757Only way to get over it is to talk about it with someone who can listen. We all develop coping mechanisms to deal with how we feel to survive as we grow up, until you talk to someone openly, and honestly to identify how you've developed your coping mechanisms, they will forever destroy you. You just got married, and you have a deep struggle inside you of just wanting to be alone. That's not something a "find something to make you happy" can fix.
>>31696995Ah, once every two months is not a lot at all. I'd like to suggest you see a therapist where you can get together once every 1-2 weeks. You need to be able to talk often about your feelings and problems.
>>31696945>happyare there any youtube channels you like? i think maybe you'd might like survivalism and learning outdoorsy skills. I also feel like artificial environments have more depressive effects on schizophrenia maybe. Also sunlight might be more important. Schizophrenia aside I think you should expose yourself to a lot of content and find new things, and maybe start some skilled based hobbies or long term projects, and have a hot drink or something while you're doing them. No caffeine after 1PM though. Try cocoa or water then. Keep snacks of nuts around with raw pumpkin seeds mixed in, they have b vitamins that help fight depression too.
>>31697011I don't think I have the money for it, but maybe I could ask who I'm currently speaking to to see them more often.>>31697037I've been enjoying listening to podcasts as I do things around the house.>start some skilled based hobbies or long term projects>Keep snacks of nuts around with raw pumpkin seeds mixed inThank you, I'll try to get back into teaching myself programming and I'll try to eat that kind of food. A big reason as to why I'm so underweight is that I don't snack basically at all.
>>31697101food is life, but some people overdo it lol
>>31696757>because the solution seems clear, snap out of it>The solution here is to get over myselfI've been suicidal depressed before, got institutionalized out of it. This is the dumbest advice I've heard, and is probably part of the reason you are so depressed. This is pure fantasy shit. Like believing if you just hear the right song it will lift your spirits and then you'll finally be happy. The way out isn't back up to sunny skies, it's through the heart of the depression. You need to figure out what it is that is making you depressed. When it's long term, it's not something minor, it's something that has literally killed your hope for the future.Is it environmental or is it physiological? It's usually one or the other. Either some external factor is dragging you down, or your own brain chemistry is keeping you down. Once I figured out the reason why I was wishing for death, the solution was to find a fix for that problem. In my case, losing my last chance of having a decent career. The solution I found was to give up on my dreams and lower my sights. I'm not jumping for joy, but I stopped being suicidal.Stop blaming yourself for not being happy and figure out the cause. You clearly still have fight left in you, or you wouldn't be trying to find a solution. Hang onto that.
>>31697268Nta. So the solution for fixing suicidal thoughts is...giving up? You're able to be content with what you have simply because you know better isn't possible? Is it just that you're already so dead inside you don't see the point in killing yourself any more or?
>>31697275>So the solution for fixing suicidal thoughts is...giving up?No, suicide is giving up. Letting go of your hopes and dreams hurts, but it's a bit like turning down the difficulty setting in life. If your criteria of success for the day is to get through a day of work without anyone getting shot or lit on fire, then it's harder to have a bad day. Unless you work at a prison or something, but then your criteria is probably a bit different in that case.>You're able to be content with what you have simply because you know better isn't possible?Yes. It doesn't sound like much, but accepting what is still feels better than no longer wanting to live. It hurts less. You learn to take joy in the little pleasures of life, knowing you wouldn't be able to enjoy them if you were dead. Something is still better than nothing.
>>31697315Oh. I don't think this is going to work for me. It's a good day when the weather is nice, I accomplish a chore, and eat enough. I enjoy the little things but I'd give them up for guaranteed nothing.It's an interesting idea though. And I'm glad it works for you.
>>31697357One short-term fix I used after getting released was distracting myself with productive projects that interested me. Learning M68000 ASM, learning how to solder and repair my various electronics, learning how to work on my car, learning to cook, whatever. Didn't matter what it was, as long as it interested me, resulted in something that was useful to me, and kept me too busy to think about trying to kill myself again. The first is important to keep you motivated, the second helps stimulate the reward center of your brain and helps improve your situation, and the third helps you ignore the depression for a little while.The goal is to distract yourself while improving your situation, or at least distract yourself while giving yourself some more options to work with.
>>31697478That gets old after 17 years. Thank you though.
>>31696757For me the turning point was when I told my dad I thought about killing myself.I had always told myself that I wanted to change and become a happier person and make a better life for myself.It wasn't easy.It took a lot of self-brainwashing.I came up with a lot of positive mantras for myself, basically would mutter these anytime I faced any kind of stress or negative thoughts. Phrases like "just keep moving forward".I forced myself to become a robot for my own happiness. Anytime those negative emotions came and I recognized them I tried to distance myself from them and segment them in some corner of my mind and get back to the task of bettering myself. I would throw negative thoughts into a "mental trash can".I picked up a camera which made me go out more and eventually I met people by taking photos at local events. I became kinda popular or at least well known in the local scene and I think that helped a lot too. The camera as a way to connect with people helped a lot.Additionally I was also doing work on myself, going to the gym helps a ton. When I would look in the mirror seeing the improvements to my body gave a tiny boost of positive emotion. By learning to admire my external self and then realizing that external self was the reflection of my internal self it helped me to love myself more.I was also working on getting through college. Seeing the progress build up over time made me feel like I had accomplished something.A lot of my depression was sparked by feelings of inadequacy and that I wasn't where I wanted to be in life. Learning to just focus on being productive and being patient with the process and pushing through those depressive episodes where I wanted to just lay down all day helped.
