We were having sex yesterday and I told her to teach me how she masturbates so I can learn to make her orgasm since I haven't been able to do it 3 months into our sex life, she showed me but then I learned that she stops before having an orgasm because she's scared of not having control (?). I asked her why and if she has had any bad experiences with it but she told me that it's none of that, she's just scared of it. Long story short I made her almost cum (or at least the closest I've gotten to make her cum), she told me to stop because she was scared and when I stopped she cried, we cuddled and I comforted her as best as I could. She said her period was making her way more emotional and that she had never cried from that but I'm still concerned. Anyone got experience with a similar situation? Any advice is appreciated.
Sounds like she's had some kind of sexual trauma she's not telling you about imo
>>31905290There's some kind of trauma that she might not even be aware of. It's probably not even sexually related, but more to do with not having control of a situation or not being in control of herself in front of others.
>>31905290Have a talk with her about it. Next time you see her. It's likely not you, but something with her.Try not to be too aggressive with your questioning.
>>31905290My girl is also weird about it.I can make her cum consistently by eating her out, which focuses almost exclusively on the clit, but she feels very uncomfortable about pussy internal stimulation. She describes a sensation of "having to pee", which by all accounts must be her being about to cum vaginally. Whenever she gets close to that no matter the way she does she completely shuts down.Many months of me trying to encourage her to let go didn't lead to anything, but it's alright because we're both content with our sex life. I just think she's probably missing out on some good orgasms, but she's fine about it and that's what matters.
>>31905290Lay some towels down the next time you have sex since it could be a bladder thing
>>31905290recently read somewhere that that's actually a semi common thing. That some women are affraid/ashamed of having an orgasm.Doesn't even have to be a trauma, could just be them perceiving it as a taboo to feel good/ lose themselves in sex or something.I dunno man, I never had a healthy relationship but probably best thing is to just talk it out
>>31905290>Anyone got experience with a similar situationYeah, same with the wife here.My advice? break up.You will only regret it latter, a woman that can't reach sexual safety with you is the same as if you're raping her in her mind.
>>31906594It's exactly this, I have the same problem though I've never had any sexual trauma in the past. It's scary not knowing what your body will do/not being in control of your own body. I wish I could let it go but when I get close it gets so scary I gotta stop
>>31906672Would you be open to try your limits and talk about it?Should I be content with a good enough sex life knowing she's not enjoying it to its full potential?
>>31905290Almost certainly NOT any secret past trauma. The most likely explanation is that she is telling the simple truth - never having experienced an orgasm, she got the impression that it is a complete losing-control, and that prospect scares her, either because it might be dangerous or just embarrassing. With a gf who felt that, I suggested that she think of it as riding in a carriage being pulled by a horse, and just letting the reins hang loose in her hand. You never actually lose control, you just let the horse go its way, knowing you can always pull back.It worked. She said, after coming, "You're right. I never lost control. I just relaxed it." And she never had trouble coming again.
>>31905615Rising arousal CAN feel like a full baldder. It isn't, and the danger of pee leakage is not really there, but the fear of embarrassing herself can be real.
this shit is crazy bc I have to make my gf cum every time we have sex or she will pout lolhave you tried using a vibrator?
OP are you still around? I reached out here >>31907523. If you could respond in that thread that'd be great, since I really don't want to monitor this one if you're never coming back.
