As I was leaving a lecture today, I had a brief conversation with the professor’s assistant. I want to apply to the same graduate program as him, and he earnestly told me to start thinking about getting letters of references for the program since it’s very competitive. I am now home going on a downward spiral and freaking out. Not only do I need references for this graduate program but I also want to apply to law schools. I feel like I won’t have time to either raise my gpa, meet admissions deadlines, garner extracurricular experience or secure references. Admittedly, my attempts to establish rapport with professors or garner extracurricular experience has been lacking. I’m not biting the bullet. I’ve only made some kind of rapport with one professor. My god-damn introverted nature. If only I wasn’t so shy and anxious. If only I wasn’t so gloomy and self-absorbed during my time in uni. I realized it’s too late to even apply to a law school now. There’s no way I can study and complete an lsat by November. If I don’t have some sort of academic success or prestige, I will have to rot indoors or at a shitty part time job. That’s the only alternative. I am also contemplating suicide, or at least engaging in suicidal ideation. I am going to get my references for the graduate program within the week (assuming most of them will answer my emails). I only know one professor, so it will be awkward at best to email the other professors who don’t even know me or have spoken to me rarely. What can I do? I’ve been sobbing and having a panic attack.
>>31991804let it out anon, that's the best way to get over it. after that, take it easy. starting monday, ask your professor about a reference. i know how it feels, but it's all gonna be okay. if not this year, then the next. even then, there's still apprenticeships, which normally take people on to give them experience in the field. i love you anon, and wish you all the best. be good to yourself
>>31991966Thanks anon. It’s just all so overwhelming to say the least. Have you had a similar experience?And what kind of apprenticeships are you talking about?
>>31991804Dude I'm in literally the same boat and looking for advice. I am in my last semester of a math degree. I'm online now but used to go to a good research school. Had a decent GPA of 3.3 but had a mental breakdown and then they kicked me out for not getting VAXXED (even though I met their vaccine exemption). Long story short I'm good as fuck at math but have a gpa or 2.35 . I do have 2 letters of recommendation, one from my advisor and one from someone who barely remembered me. But I bet the grad school acceptance council won't know. What I'm doing is applying everywhere for a MS in Statistics. Decent schools and lesser known schools. My advisor told me if I apply for 5-6 places (3 good 3 bad) I am bound to get in somewhere. Also fuck the professors assistant. That dude is probably up his own ass and is trying to fuck you over by making you feel less than him. They are all like that and dont act like real people.
>>31992110Thanks anon. I hope you make it. I understand where you’re coming from, this shit takes a toll, especially for you since you’re in stem. And I hope you’re right about the teacher’s assistant
>>31991804>>31992110Where are you guys getting the money to pay for a master's?
>>31991804>I’m not biting the bulletOP here with a correction. I meant to say that I AM biting the bullet.
>>31993273I don't know about the math student, but uni is relatively affordable where I live. I also live with my parents so I have little to no expenses.
>>31993294Are you outside the US? I've done a little research on master's degrees and the cheapest one was a tad under $10,000.
>>31993310Yes I’m outside of the US
Bump Also, would it be fine to ask a professor if they can be a reference for another university than the one we’re currently at?
Bump
hey anon, i have meager experience with academia and can frankly not give you any advice on how to approach the people networking aspect of it in anyways. i dont mean to diminsh your problem as i truly believe that they are causing you grief and are a major obstacle in your life at this current moment. i would however like to say that the situation you face here and now is but one of many hurdles life throws at you. regret, fear and anxiety are a perfectly understandable response but their magnitutes are equivalent to your past experiences and struggles. it might seem like this is the end, like you did an unreversable fuckup, but that is just because this is a hill you have yet to climb . you sound young and like you have a good head on your shoulders, take a deep breath and realise that time, if nothing else, is on your side. academia wont run away, being a lawyer wont run away - being young will however. if you cant get into the college you want this year, there is always the next. it might seem like everything is falling apart but the honestly ridiculous thing is that if you open the window and look outside the sun is still shining, the autumn breeze still refreshes your tried face and people are smiling laughing. life continues. you already know what to do, to properly form rapport, you typed it in your question the answer. it is just fear that is stopping you, fear of failure when failure is the cornerstone of our existance - that which upon all success is eventually built. and as cliche as it sounds with every door that closes another one opens. if you fail to apply this year then why not view it as an opportunity to experience life, get a part time or full time job, something you think youd enjoy . you can study law in your free time, prepare for the exam. maybe go travelling if you have the cash.. realise that what you are going through now is a vaulable experience, learning from which will make you stronger than before
>>31996824Thank you anon, I greatly appreciate it. As for the rapport thing, I don’t see how I answered that. Sending emails to professors who barely know me is not really building rapport. I’ll still send those emails because I need to, but let’s call a spade a spade.
>>31995792>Also, would it be fine to ask a professor if they can be a reference for another university than the one we’re currently at?Yes. Most students apply to grad school somewhere else.
>>31998227But can I ask them, within a single email, if they can be a reference for both our uni’s grad program as well as the other unis?
>>31999488Yes. They expect you to apply to multiple programs.
>>32001758Thanks. I just feel dirty doing this for some reason. Schmoozing and social games don’t come easy to me.
>>31991804I'm in a similar situation. The "top of the class" guys are already getting into programs and doing extracurricular stuff (and getting paid for it) 3 semesters in. Meanwhile, I'm kind of a "middle of the class" guy who gets decent grades but never does exceptionally well and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to do something like that.I am EXTREMELY lucky because one of the most well respected professors in my university, who runs a lab that does AI research, was my old neighbor. She literally lived next door to me and knows my entire family. I've had one class with her already (which I got a max grade, 10/10) and I'll have another one next semester. I think I'm gonna have to play that nepotism card with her even though I don't want to. I wanna get paid!
>>32004438Lucky you, anon. That’s the other thing I lack: connections.
Bump. When I wake up, I’ll ask for references.
>>31991804OP here with an update. I just realized that my gpa is about 0.2 points below the graduate program’s minimum gpa requirement. I also thing that by the time I raise my gpa by the end of this year, the deadline to have applied will have passed. What the fuck can I do now? Should I even bother getting those references now? I’m so fucked beyond repair, anons.
>>32007268bump
>>31992110How the hell should I even word an email to a professor who probably doesn't even remember or know me?
bump
>>32007268Could you just email the admin department that your gpa will be above that amount, if they say no maybe take a gap year,
Alright I just sent 4 emails overall. It's a start I guess
I secured one reference so far.
>>32008851What would a gap year even accomplish?
im so fucked
bro if you're already fucked why are you still bumping
>>32020280For more advice or perspectives
>>32020280Also I am going to apply for grad school
>>32008077Just say who you are and tell them what you need
