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>>31999420
Some people contacted me on Discord last time, but I was too busy to reply to the few who did sometime last month and I still haven’t got back. Feels like it’d be exceptionally awkward after all this time.
My texting etiquette isn’t the greatest.
Sorry. My bad.

Get off the internet regardless, you are not mentally equipped to be here, you are emotionally immature, that's why you are puking your emotions here instead of dealing with them inside your own head, otherwise you will stay stuck in this loop of "motivation/getting punched in the face" based on the content you receive

>>31999442
I’d disagree. I think that I’ve pushed myself far further mentally than anyone my age should have to, and that I’m doing the right thing by seeking outside advice rather than going deeper into my head. I’m not trying to vent, I don’t need to, but I do need help in learning how to let go.

>>31999424
It's okay I have bouts of not using discord. What have you been up to since the last thread? Weren't you in trouble at your job or something?

>>31999577
Thank you. I haven’t been up to much, just going to work and trying to get sort this out. I’m not in trouble with my job, but I’m not exceptional and I’m still on probation so if I screw up, then it’s back o being a NEET.

>>31999661
Oh right, you were on probation. I couldn't remember exactly. Well, gl with the job
As far as figuring out how to give up, I still think you should keep trying to grow and have your own type of social life. I think you should start with a therapist who could probably help with your self compassion, positive self talk, and provide some irl accountability for actually doing stuff... it seems like you are pretty aware of whats happening but can't actually take that next real step towards your goals. Life as an old cat lady with no family is fucking lame and horrible, so that's why I think you should keep trying to build some kind of life for yourself.

>>31999442
reddit tier psychoanalysis

>>31999420
Have you given any more thought to my marriage proposal?

>>31999728
Thanks.
Yeah. I know what’s happening and I can’t stand wasting each day but I don’t think a therapist would be able to help. I’ve tried twice, but I think that a therapist would be unable to help when I’ve had all of the advice and validation anyone would need to move on with their life yet I still can’t. If I get to the cat lady stage, then I’ll just neck myself than live like that.
>>32000726
I would be a terrible wife

>>31999420
Total LARP.

>>31999728ĺ
If you go in your head to try to solve problems, there is a chance you will be stuck there and will never be able to get out

>>32000495
incel tier reply

>>32001452
I wish it was a LARP
>>32001478
True, but I've exhausted every other external option.

>>32001033
>I think that a therapist would be unable to help when I’ve had all of the advice and validation anyone would need to move on with their life yet I still can’t.
the thing is, you havent. you've had like 3 or 4 threads on here getting a bunch of advice but that is nothing compared to having a solid irl person in your corner to talk to and hold you accountable. you need to slowly change your environment and support system so that you can actually change and grow.

Would you consider joining a church or alternatively, some interest based community? I know you are interested in art, maybe you could find meetups or something to do with that? even an online community could be better than nothing? let me know if you disagree

>>32001768
A bit more than three or four threads; I’ve been doing this roughly monthly for years now. My family have tried their best to help and when I did go to therapy, I went for a considerable amount of time. Nothing has changed, and I think the reason why is because I’m trying to be someone I’m not. My first therapist said something about trying to ‘not to change but to maximise your happiness/dopamine’ each day and rather than try and do that, I’ve been striving to be someone I’m not.
>Would you consider joining a church or alternatively, some interest based community
I’m not religious but I’ve thought about it, I don’t think it’s for me though. I just haven’t been raised that way. As for interest-based communities, I’ve tried online but haven’t had much luck. Can’t really mesh with most anrtists online outside of this site, and the risque stuff I like to draw doesn’t go down well with that crowd. There’s not much going on around me IRL that isn’t based around pub activities or clubbing.

>>32001768
stop replying you retarded simp, do you think you're getting a date out this? headcase OP has no intention of trying anyting other than sitting on their ass and getting attention from retards like you

>>32001912
Yeah ok, so you've tried a bunch of stuff and it hasn't worked at all, so you think you should just be alone, give up on finding a social life or a goal life and try to be content with what you've got. because you're just not meant to be a normie. That's fine, well I'm here on discord if you ever want to commiserate. I'm pretty much you in 10 years but male, never went out, couldnt deal with being different. Now it's even harder to find friends and relationships because everyone was already hustling to find them at your age. I guess you can find copes like art or cats or designing furniture, whatever but they just suck major ass compared to having someone that loves you

>>31999420
Where in the UK you from? Happy to meet in person if you want, I'm in West London

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>>32002996
>Where in the UK you from? I’d be Happy to meet in person if you want

>>32003139
Honestly. Was in a similar position, now 27 and work a normal job. Not a nonce, just had good help and want to pay it forward

>>32002005
If I wanted attention I would become a Twitter whore or something. But I actually have respect for myself and don't, I'm just retarded and can't help myself.
>>32002009
Thank you.
>you should just be alone, give up on finding a social life or a goal life and try to be content with what you've got. because you're just not meant to be a normie.
Yes. If my life ended up this way then it's clearly the person I was meant to be. I can't see any alternative when I've already tried and failed each time.
>I guess you can find copes like art or cats or designing furniture, whatever but they just suck major ass compared to having someone that loves you
Yeah. I think I'm just going to cope through fiction and knowing that I have a better body and discipline than most through working out. Hopefully AI will advance to the point where it can be a substitute for real connection but I'm not counting on it.
>>32002996
>>32003177
Sorry, I wouldn't meet anyone from this site IRL.

>>31999420
>I just can't imagine myself doing it
Don't believe in yourself. Believe in the me that believes in you. Place the weight off your shoulders and just start doing things.

faggot.

>19
>F
I will you give the best advice that any one here could give to you, and i'm pretty sure you will not take it, but i will. Leave 4chan.

>>32003751
Kamina...
yeah i know
>>32003757
Can't. Site's been apart of my life for too long now.

>>32003792
>Can't
So at least, stop doing shit like this >>31999424. You are literally allowing yourself to be orbited by random men from all ages. Most of them are trying to get nudes of you, so they can not only jerk off, but expose and destroy your soul. You will say you know better, but you don't.

>>31999442
>you are not mentally equipped to be here
Man I wish someone told me this when i came here when I was the OPs age. I'm still dealing with the consequences of having exposed myself to such an esoteric website during the pandemic.

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>>32003853

>>32003883
I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm fabricating this problem?

>>32003838
It's either timestamp, or
>larper
>troon
I know that a lot of people are here to try and solicit some kind of special attention, but I've made it clear that I'm not interested. I appreciate the concern, but I wouldn't let myself get coerced into doing anything lewd. Girls say that all the time and go on to get groomed, but if I were like other girls, then I wouldn't be here.
>>32003853
>I'm still dealing with the consequences of having exposed myself to such an esoteric website during the pandemic.
Sorry that happened to you but I've been using this site since 2018 and nothing bad has happened. I've been more scarred by things I've seen on Youtube than anything on here.

>>32003895
>since 2018 and nothing bad has happened
I don't understand this. How can this place not fuck with your social outlook? I view every interaction in real life as if it were occurring on 4chan. But that's not how this works lol. I haven't really been here since 2022 but I still am unable to get rid of this complex.

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>>32003895
>but if I were like other girls, then I wouldn't be here

>>32003895
>but if I were like other girls, then I wouldn't be here
The girls who get groomed are literally the ones who use 4chan. Are you dumb, nigger?

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>>32003906
>How can this place not fuck with your social outlook?
It's not that bad. Don't take it so seriously.
>I view every interaction in real life as if it were occurring on 4chan.
Why?
>>32003908
lmao
>>32003917
Most of my time on this site is spent on boards where there's no need to give any indication as to who you are. /adv/ is the only board where I've given an inkling as to who I am, and I've managed to avoid getting groomed for years when I was younger and dumber; that's not going to change now.
>Are you dumb
Errrrrrmm!

>>32003967
>Why?
Idk I just do. I've conditioned my social outlook to be like this and it's hard to get over this complex.

What do you have against guys you meet on 4chan? Some of us are moralfags, normies, etc.
Personally I'm probably safer to be around than most guys you'll meet at a bar.

>>32003981
That's a little sad. Do you worry about speaking to people in real life as you would on here?
>>32003985
Nothing, I'd initially be on guard with anyone online who wanted to meet, male or female.

>>32004004
>Nothing
>>32003545
>Sorry, I wouldn't meet anyone from this site IRL.
so which is it?

>>32004004
>Do you worry about speaking to people in real life as you would on here?

I sort of do. It's hard to conceptualize an interaction where people have genuine good intentions irl.

>>32004013
I don't have anything against people from this site specifically, I just think it's a stupid idea unless it were something like a board meetup.
>>32004014
>It's hard to conceptualize an interaction where people have genuine good intentions irl.
Some don't, some do, and some don't care. It depends on who it is, but a lot of people are so focused on their own lives that their apathetic to most others.

>>32004039
>stupid idea
>literally the solution to your problem
alright

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>>32004040
>most people on this site want your nudes
>but meeting them would be the solution to your problems

>>32004052
you could vet people by getting to know them online over months to years before meeting them. just block the guys who you don't like or who only want to fuck you.

>>31999420
How does a woman have trouble dating? Unless I'm wrong it should just be as easy as "be a woman and show interest in men". Are you obscenely fat? I am genuinely having a hard time wrapping my head around this.

>>31999420
Forget about all the grand life plans, all you need is one IRL friend to latch onto. She doesn't even have to be your age. In fact, an older female would make a good mentor. At 19 your brain is still developing, it's too early to embrace stagnation. I made my first friends at 21, joined the fringes of a friend group at 22, became an integral part of a friend circle at 23, got my first girlfriend at 24, then left her and began regressing back to my old solitary self. Working a few weeks at a commune at age 25 was the last time I was part of a social group...I grew alienated and left to do my own thing, hurting many people with my coldness. Wasn't until age 30 that I fully accepted my solitary nature and disciplined my mind to shut out negative thoughts and enjoy the life I have. Wouldn't be able to get to this point of contentment and inner peace if I gave up at age 21 and shut myself off from the life experiences I had. All the same, it's been a long and difficult journey. Yet facing challenge and enduring difficulty is the only way to gain inner strength.

>>32004077
Of course, but as you said, it'd take months to years. I want to resolve this as soon as, I've lost enough time.
>>32004096
I've never dated. Went to an all-girls school until I was sixteen, wasn't approached in college and don't know anyone outside of work. I know that I could get on Hinge and find someone, but I don't think it's for me. I've spent so long being alone and coping that being a loner is better than I don't think I could do it.
>Are you obscenely fat?
Underweight.

>>32004135
It took you years of isolation to get this way right, it'll probably take a long time to fix

>>32004132
>Wouldn't be able to get to this point of contentment and inner peace if I gave up at age 21 and shut myself off from the life experiences I had.

What if you actually went on the path of embracing stagnation at 20/21? I'm 23 now and I basically have been stagnating since then and I don't know how to get out of the rut I'm in now.

>>32004132
The only person I can think of was an old classmate who I got in touch with a few months ago. We met up but things didn’t go as smoothly as hoped. I could message her to try and start up a new conversation but it’s been a few months.
>>32004168
Yeah. It started when I was around eleven, so almost a decade now.

>>31999420
OP, I joined this site in 2016 when I was 15. I had a bad home life and was constantly moving so I never made friends, and people I met on here became my friends. There are some amazing people and some horrible people. I am locked in 100% and basically unable to communicate with normal people, to the point where I actively avoid anyone who I view as normie or not very smart. this is a very narcissist thing to do and I strongly advise you to avoid it if you can. but if you are perma stuck here like me, do not make the mistake of going on degen boards. use a good board like /lit/ or /g/ or /ck/, I even like /3dcg/. Get a constructive hobby, too, don't become a doom scroll zombie.

Work on yourself, identify your issues, set small goals, heal etc. and then make normie social media and put yourself out there. this is what I see as a remedial path to getting a partner. right now I am doing good, but I used to be really messed up as a kid. I went on some boards and looked at some really gruesome stuff that no one should see. I am really scared for younger people who will see this stuff in current year when the world is so different and there is still no robust protection against them being here. If you are young on here and know what I am talking about, trust me on this, it will affect you in ways you do not expect.

>>31999420
I think getting trapped in these cycles of "it's so over" Vs "we're so back" is a sign of mania.
My sister is pretty similar and therapy helped. NHS sucks so you might have to go private but it's been very helpful.

As for giving up, I wouldn't just yet. You're incredibly young, you've had bad thoughts for your entire (short) lucid life and believe this is the way you'll be forever, but I believe that you're a victim of your circumstances. If you had a thriving social circle, a partner and a fulfilling job, these thoughts wouldn't occur as much (and you definitely wouldn't be on 4chan).

This anon is right, start small: >>32004132

But, I'm trying to offer a message of hope: things do get better, and there are a whole host of people who have a positive outlook on life and whose vibes will help pull you out of this funk.

You're young and your self-aware. It's a good combo to have but can lead down this bad path. I'm trying to get you to see that there's still hope. Leave 4chan. Go do "normie" activities. Try things solo too. Become a "normal" adult for a year or two and see how you feel. Then, pick and choose which aspects to keep and which to let go of.
I know you want a quick solution but none exist. This is the worst thing about life and your awareness of it's shortness: it takes real time for things to get better but we feel like we don't have time to give to the process. You do.

>nowadays anons thinks its normal for a 19 girl to use 4chan and act like thats not a bad thing
I'm from 2009. You new people are strange.

>>32005158
it’s less normal now that gen z avoids anything ‘edgy’ like the plague

>>32005136
Thanks. I can still communicate with normal people but it's a front, there's no connection there and I'm just going through the motions of what I should say. I don't use degen boards, usually just /vg/ and /jp/. For hobbies I draw, compose music and workout, but that's it.
>I used to be really messed up as a kid. I went on some boards and looked at some really gruesome stuff that no one should see.
Same, but I pushed it to the back of my mind and forgot about it. I used to watch Liveleak videos out of morbid curiosity and eventually got used to it, as I did with anything messed up I saw on here.
>I think getting trapped in these cycles of "it's so over" Vs "we're so back" is a sign of mania.
I don't think so. I'll get advice from these threads, feel like I might have a chance, see what ex-classmates are doing on Instagram and how far ahead of me they are and then give up again.
>If you had a thriving social circle, a partner and a fulfilling job, these thoughts wouldn't occur as much (and you definitely wouldn't be on 4chan).
Yeah lol. But if this is the way that I turned out, then it's the way that I was meant to be. You can only blame circumstance for so much before realising that the problem is the person you are.
>But, I'm trying to offer a message of hope: things do get better.
No, I get it, thank you for the advice. I appreciate it. I just find it very hard to believe that things will get better when everything else in my life has gone in the other direction, even if I'm still young.

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>>32007017
>I just find it very hard to believe that things will get better when everything else in my life has gone in the other direction, even if I'm still young.
I know you can't see into the future so its hard to believe what older people are trying to say to you, but you will still be alive when time goes by, and your brain will be basically the same. It doesn't mean that it will continue depressed though, but that you will be able to find new meaning to older things, with the same feeling you are doing now. Getting old doesn't change your soul. Hold on, and one day you will be stronger, or maybe even find things going into a better direction. Don't do nothing stupid.

>>32007075
Thanks.

aint reading all that, skipped to the end

>but I'm never going to be a cute girl out with her friends in the day and on a date in the night, or even date at all

whats stopping you?

>>32007498
>I've come crawling back so many times, been given paragraphs upon paragraphs worth of advice, yet I can't change. I just can't imagine myself doing it, trying to fit in or dressing up and getting ready for a date. It's not that I have no social skills or even that I'm too ugly because there are landwhales I know with all of these things, it's that I can't fathom not existing outside of most people's worlds - it's not right, and it's not me.

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>>32007391
Thanks indeed, writing this made me cry.

>>32008244
>fathom not existing outside of most people's worlds
what the fuck does that even mean?

>>32008244
so the only reason you cant is because "i cant"?

>>32008271
I'm sorry. I really do appreciate it.
>>32008289
I'm used to being someone with no connections to the world outside of my bedroom aside from previously school and now work. Used to being the retard, the odd one out, and the person always on the sidelines.
>>32008306
It doesn't feel right. Feels like a betrayal of the person I've grown to be.

>>32008341
I promise you nobody fucking cares
Nobody has a perception of what you are, just they same way you dont give a fuck what everyone else on the street is doing
Just go and do what you fucking want

>>32008358
You're right, but for me, it's the knowledge that I'm different and I failed to do something as simple as establish bonds with others that makes me think that I should stay in my lane and not try to be someone I'm not.

>>32008392
You are not special, I promise you
You are no different to anyone else, grow up
Go do whatever you want, nothing is stopping you

>>31999424
your bathroom is fancy and big. I don't get why you are upset? You're a woman. You can neet until death and no one will care.

>>31999420
I remember you from your previous thread.
What is your purpose for making this new one? You said it yourself that despite paragraphs of advice being offered, you can't change.

If you feel that changing betrays yourself (whatever tf that means) but you are not ok with yourself rn, I think you should explore what being YOU means.
You can do that through putting yourself out there and experimenting (which you seem adamant on not doing) or going to therapy to sort your feelings out.
BONUS: you can also try expressing yourself through an artistic endeavor.
Otherwise you gonna seem like another damaged attention whoring zoomer.

>>31999424
large pale hands, I'm getting necromancer vibes

>>32008437
if that is "big and fancy" you must be BROKE

>>32008467
maybe its one of those men that calls themselves a woman

>>31999420
You're 19.
You couldn't possibly have applied all of the advice you received here, because some of it will take years to fully realize. I'm not berating you, I'm just saying that you should keep a wider perspective before despairing.

>>32003985
People, especially women, should be on high alert here, and VERY reluctant to meet anyone.
Sure, we individually know ourselves and our intentions, but nobody else is in our heads to verify. And that's the issue: not only are crazies/creeps much more likely to ask internet strangers to meet up, but 4chan also has a higher concentration of them than other places.

>>32008472
Not many in the UK have a nice bathroom like that unless they're middle class. Everything is expensive here.

She's a middle class white girl complaining. What a joke.

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>>31999420
>19F
>giving up
why the fuck would you give up when you have the opportunity of playing on easy mode? you're not a guy, just putting in even a mild amount of effort will basically guarantee people who value you. giving up when your efforts would actually be rewarded is just foolish

>>32008540
I grew up in coucil housing and the bathroom was like that if not bigger....

>>32008554
if they had to live 1 day as a male they would end up a statistic lmfao

>>32008554
>will basically guarantee people who value you
Just show me a thread like this where the OP is a 18 yo boy staying alive and receveing this many replies.

>>32008568
wow! your parents got handed a big house for pennies a month by the council. Lucky fucking you.

Never seen a council flat like that and I've been to many. I grew up in London.

I don't see any manly stuff in there and it's mostly empty which may suggest it's her personal bedroom's bathroom or it's a 2nd bathroom.

Don't even know why she's complaining. She's the top 20% in the UK. Mummy and Daddy will pay for everything.

>>32008402
Thanks.
>>32008437
>>32008472
>>32008540
My house isn't big. My mum has OCD and everything has to look like a showroom at all times.
>>32008455
>What is your purpose for making this new one?
I want to know how to stop holding onto false hope.
>If you feel that changing betrays yourself (whatever tf that means)
If I've lived my whole life unable to achieve basic human connection, then clearly, the problem is me and it's not what I'm meant for. Trying to be someone I'm not goes against that.
>>32008467
>>32008480
lol
>>32008554
I could play on easy mode, start wearing makeup and sucking up to guys, but it feels like I'm playing a character. I'd rather be myself even if it means being alone.
>>32008615
>which may suggest it's her personal bedroom's bathroom or it's a 2nd bathroom.
It's the main bathroom. We don't have much stuff and what we do have is stashed away in cabinets.
>Mummy and Daddy will pay for everything.
Everything I've had since I got a job, from my car to rent I pay to live here, has come out of my own paycheck. You sound bitter.

>>32008624
Who said that you should be sucking guys? The fuck.

>>32008633
Bad phrasing. Trying to get close to guys would've been a better way to put it. My mistake.

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>>32008636
No, i like the phrasing.

>>32008624
>I'd rather be myself even if it means being alone
if "being yourself" means straight up complete social isolation, you're a genuine outlier, but that's pretty unlikely. so, under the assumption that you're relatively "normal", you can have friends, romantic partners and a social circle with a fraction of the effort that it takes for men while still being your "authentic self" because you provide value just by existing. you can literally pursue whatever career/hobby you want and things will work out for you socially.
think about it, you're a member of the sex where "just chill out" is actually good advice and not a death sentence

>>32008624
>I can't act like a normal human being
>I won't try to act like a normal human being
>But sometimes I act like a normal human being
>How can I let myself stop trying to act like a normal human being
>It's not me cuz I'm a troubled, unique & special person!

>>31999420
Attention whore is an attention whore.
Sorry you're not the centre of the universe, you're just not special enough for that. Maybe you should try adjusting your life expectations to match your average self, trying to live like a king when you're only a peasant will only make your life more miserable than it has to be.

I’m an older woman in my early 30s and I used to be like you. I had my first boyfriend at 21.
What helped me is putting myself outside of my comfort zone like doing internships and going to random parties where I had to socialise. I was forcing myself to. Alcohol definitely helps (but know your limits).
It was super uncomfortable at the beginning but I got it after some time and I stopped living in my head. Basically you have to force yourself to be uncomfortable otherwise you will not change

>>32008979
>Alcohol definitely helps
Sorry, but alcohol and women don't mix.
If you're a woman, never fucking go out drinking. You're literally one misstep away from getting raped and being none the wiser.
>t. a completely normal and adjusted individual

>>32008990
I have alcohol regularly, to have fun with my friends and it’s never been problematic. It definitely helps with social anxiety. You just have to do it responsibly.

>>32008684
Thanks, but I don’t quite agree. Nobody would argue that a fat woman with a bad sense of humour added anything, even for women I’d argue that there is a baseline for acceptance from peers.
>>32008692
I don’t think I’m special or especially troubled, I just think that some people are innately catered to different ways of life.
>>32008920
>Maybe you should try adjusting your life expectations to match your average self, trying to live like a king when you're only a peasant
Thank you for repeating what I asked in the OP.
>>32008979
Thanks.

>>31999420

>>31999424
Women can't be lonely. Tits or GTFO.

>>32010010
>even for women I’d argue that there is a baseline for acceptance from peers
yeah, of course, but you can hit that threshold without it requiring years of effort and sexual frustration. that's why you'd be foolish to give up, the level of opportunity available to you with just a few months of work is something that a lot of people would straight up kill for

>>32003545
I find it so frustrating to see girls who are struggling and I know that they're the kind of person who I could actually bond with and have a shared understanding of things, yet there's never a way to actually talk to them. One big issue is that every girl is bombarded with attention to the extent that they're overwhelmed and close things off, while guys don't get any attention - neither side is satisfied.

I don't believe that you could simultaneously be reaching out on 4chan but also saying you'd never meet anyone from here. From personal experience, basically everyone I've met from 4chan has been pretty fucking normal all things considered. The people who wouldn't attend IRL meetups are maybe the ones you'd be seeking to avoid, and since they avoid them anyway, there's nothing to avoid to begin with.

>>32005158
>things change with age
water is wet