I was always a nice and polite kid that never caused any trouble. None of the adults had any problem with my behavior, but I got relentlessly verbally and physically abused at school, and fighting back did nothing but get me ostracized further. I reached out to school counselors and family for help, but they did nothing either except tell me to ignore the bullies. My mom was the worst about it, she would just outright lie to me and tell me that I didn't need friends.I tried internet communities throughout my early/mid-teens, but when I became depressed, they stopped filling the void and I quit all of them.As an adult, I've tried therapy, but it also did nothing. All the therapist did was put me on useless pills.I just don't know what to fucking do anymore. I'm not getting bullied anymore, but I can't still make any connections and don't feel like I "belong" anywhere. I'm not socially awkward, shy, or anything like that, but I still struggle to form any kind of meaningful bonds.I've always been proactive about fixing my loneliness problem, but no matter what I do, no matter who I reach out to, nothing changes. I don't understand what I've done wrong in my life. I've always been a friendly, energetic, outgoing, and optimistic person, but at best I'm ignored, at worst I'm treated like I'm "weird".
"Nice" kidSounds like you made the mistake of catering your behavior to older people instead of your peers. You've done alot wrong with your life and describing yourself as nice doesn't mean shit to anyone else. That shouldn't have been a problem but you need connections instead of not needing them like your mother suggested.
>>32004248>Sounds like you made the mistake of catering your behavior to older people instead of your peers.I DID cater my behavior to my peers. I tried being more like them, but that didn't help either.
>>32004192Sometimes we do the right things because we expect things to go well, but i guess doing the right thing is just the most standard way to raise the odds for something to happen anon. I'm sorry life's has dealt the cards this way, you play as you can and that's how most do their lifes, luck and actionsI'm also a bit of a failure in that regard, also dealing with bad hands but so many others around us eh? I can't tell you how, i can't tell you when, i can't tell you where, but as long as you have another day being alive, there might be a slim chance somewhere, hidden.
>>32004192I often feel on the outside of society. Most people are impolite, selfish, and will plot and scheme to fuck you over if you open up to them.Being polite makes you a target for the bad people of the world, they really can sniff it out like blood in the water.At best, people will be carelessly indifferent to your existence, but at worst they might try to destroy you.You are experiencing the rarity of truly polite people.
>>32004886Not op, but by doing the contrary of being polite, wouldnt that increase the odds to create even more problems? I get that there's circles where they are jerks to outsiders but somewhat united because they are the only ones that can tolerate each other.Bad people take up your mistakes with a death grip and never let it go to mess with you, no room for saying sorry, no room for changing as a person, no room for anything, you're set up for them since you did one mistake and nothing in the world will change that fact to them.
>>32004192I'd talk to you.
>>32004926I'm definitely not suggesting to become a dickhead, just that being a polite/kind person can be quite lonely if you don't naturally attract people.Perhaps you feel the way you do because the people who surround you aren't up to your standard.Do you have any guesses why you can't make connections? Do people stare at a wart on your forehead, or something?
>>32004192>not matter what I do nothing changes Sounds like you are the problem anon. No one ostracizes a kid for fighting back against a bully i know I have had many bullies through school. If you have had no friends it is you.I can also tell you are not being a reliable narrator. Whether you are doing it consistently or not is hard to tell. >useless pills, no medicine is useless. It might not have worked perfectly for you you but with many therapeutic drugs it can take many tries to find what does work right. If you were being pro-active you would have kept looking. > therapist Therapists don’t prescribe anything, they just take all with you. Do you not know the difference between a psychiatrist and a therapist? How often do you see this therapist? What is lame do you talk with them about what do they say to you? To reiterate, you at the very least are trained helpless. Look it up and u train the behavior. At worst you are an autistic narcissist.
>>32004370It is amazing how much luck in critical moments in life can open or close the doors of opportunity.You can do everything right in life, and then one day your child was killed by a drunk driver.
>>32004192Wow, being a normal person must suck. I'm glad I don't need connections or belonging.
>>32004971Wart on my forehead? Lmao what As for the people question, i kinda accept that im a nobody to demand anything from anyone, i prefer having no relation with people rather than bad ones And yeah, im too reserved for my own good, keeping myself private until im absolutely sure i wont be ridiculed or i sense a bit of care from the other person, either way my autism will show itself sooner or later
I have a similar problem. I was adopted, ostracized a lot in school, abused by caretakers. My ability to form attachments is seriously impaired, I'm sometimes fucked with by sociopathic people because I'm a soft-spoken push over.What's helped me so far is surrounding myself with other genuinely nice people (cutting off and ghosting toxic ones), working on eliminating my own toxic behaviors, and building strong interests that make it easier to connect with others. Is there a specific sub-culture or 'type' of person that appeals to you, that you'd want to make friends with? Even if you don't belong anywhere specific, do you still find there are certain types of people you naturally get along a bit better with?
