Hi /adv/, I hit 40 and I really feel like I'm in a existential dead-end. I'd like to do a summary of my shitty life but that would be too long, so let's lock it down with fucked up family, abuse, drugs, suicide attempts and the like until I managed to get a grip in my 30s and finally got a semblance of normal person. Fell in love first time, tried to make my dream job come trueThe problem is, not only everything fell apart, even my relationship ended up in a limbo where she doesn't know if she still loves me or not and at this point I'm starting to question my feelings too, but I also had the epiphany that I'm not interested in anything anymore. I don't want anything, and I can't fucking enjoy anything anymore. I feel like I'm fucking dead, is this all there is to normal life? Sometimes I find myself reminiscing fondly of the worst trauma shit that happened to me in the past, because that made me feel something. Is this it? I fought so hard and ate all this shit for this dull nothing? Or its just an age thing and since I'm like twenty years behind on reaching real world its happening in the worst time? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
>>32005994Just try to achieve security and enjoy life. Hakuna matata.
>>32005996The problem is exactly that, I don't enjoy life, probably never did, it was a load of expectations that evaporated when I got close and could see them better
>>32005994I won't read missed milestone.threads. I won't read litany of failure threads.
>>32008192>he said, doing so anyway
what does your day to day look like
>>32005994Go to therapy, you desperately need it.As for your relationship, if you think about it deeply, what would you actually love about yourself if you were your woman? Fix yourself.
>>32006141>I don't enjoy life, probably never didSo, why do you expect to be happy now that you are old and your body is failing?You probably have some natural born brain damage that produces anhedonia.Also, mind you, your physical decay is going to accelerate very fast, faster than you could really believe.Visual acuity, muscle strength, libido, cognitive performance, memory, fine movement control, all is going to go down the drain very fast in the next years.A recent investigation found 44 it's on average the time with the fastest aging speed of most men life. I experienced myself that way, personally.My only advice, do some sport and enjoy it to try to slow the unavoidable decay into a corpse that awaits.
>>32010596>what would you actually love about yourself if you were your woman? Fix yourselfDoubt that the problem in my relationship is tied to these issues specifically since they're really hard to see outside, and the issues we discussed when this whole situation happened were just marginally related to these things. The fix yourself... man I can't go better than this atm, I'm too tired and stressed out. It took me multiple decades to stop being a complete psycho, and sometimes I feel like it wasn't even worth the effort. I already fixed myself, I don't really know 8f I can push more without breaking>you desperately need itI desperately needed it when I was younger, do I really now? Would it really make a difference?>>32010726>expect to be happy I don't want to be happy, I just want a reason to exist, since "just surviving" for some reason doesn't work anymore
>>32005994You can try to do whatever you want within the laws of physics and then you die. Have fun.
>>32010726TRT solves most of that, as does regular physical exercise and using your brain daily to induce neurogenesis You have people becoming MDs in their 60s. Artists composing their masterpieces well in their old ageMost men live terrible and dull lives, without any daily mental or physical stimulation and then wonder why their brains and bodies are decaying at the speed of light
>>32005994Alcohol
>>32005994I feel the same way as a 35yo NEET manchild. I was supposed to become a real person so long ago. Now I'm feeling aging begin and realizing it's over even though it never started. Rope will be useful!
>>32012190>You have people becoming MDs in their 60s. Artists composing their masterpieces well in their old ageFUCK, I choose to believe thisIdk why you'd want to start being a doctor at retirement age but okay
>>32012653Dude, at the age am I the only real physical change I ever noticed outside stuff like graying hair is that I went from being able to cum 6/7 times a day to 2/3.Those 5 years can still be enough to improve your life man if try hard enough man>>32012190No idea what's trt, and didn't really pick up that anon point on physical decay simply because even if had actually noticed it in me I really don't think it would be very meaningful in the kind of problem I have>>32012497Already done and almost got a liver failure in my 20s, Still drinking occasionally but I'd probably prefer to just blow my brain out instead of wasting away for years of semi conscious existence
Believe it or not but there are things to enjoy in life. New things, that require taking some chances. Maybe you will really enjoy Parcheesi or crochet or living in Indiana. You still have the capacity for love and enjoyment, you're just burnt out from the status quo. Take some time off and think about what is important to you. I believe in you!
>>32012750>Those 5 years can still be enough to improve your life man if try hard enough manOkay I'll give it a shot. 30s still feel young, I've often told myself to postpone suicide til 40
>>32012750>Already done and almost got a liver failure in my 20sOkay then, maybe not alcohol.>>32012653I'm a 37 y/o NEET. I just ran a 5k on a Georgia hiking trail, faster than I ever did in my 20s.
>>32012777Yeah you might be right, maybe I'm just exhausted, but I never felt before these levels of "is this really all there is to life?" dread. And I'm not saying that life in general is dull for everyone, just talking about my ability to enjoy it >>32012785Go anon, make me proud
