>>32006000
Have sex with other people.

>>32006003
I have almost cheated before but noped out because I closed tinder and saw the photo of us on our first date. It’s my wallpaper.

This girl turned my life around, I would have been completely alone these five years. She feels like family to me, I feel a strong sense of loyalty.

To the point I am willing to stay with her and be celibate. I need to figure out how to get her to lose weight.

Its difficult since she seems to be in denial how bad its gotten.

Say

>> honey, I get soft because you're a fat, repulsive pig. You're my best friend but I can't fuck you until you're normal sized again.

I'm sure that will go down fine.

>>32006008
>To the point I am willing to stay with her and be celibate.
why make this thread then? you gonna trick her and switch pork with falafel? lol

>>32006194
Because I’m sure theres a way to lose weight. I need a way to communicate this to the opposite sex respectfully and in a way that won’t destroy her fragile confidence.

Say you want to work on improving yourself and go twke out a gym membership and "casually" invite her with you
Start slowly and then slowly work in more things like invoting her park runs with you
If you do the cooking subtly start working out unhealthy things and incorporating more diet foods

But don't straight up tell her she's gotten fat

dude just tell her she has gotten fat and you aren't attracted to her sexually because of it. Tell her you still love her (because that is the truth) and she just needs to lose some weight. Its not such a big deal. Over to diet with her or ge on a workout routine yourself. If your also fat then you cant really point a finger at her

>>32006000
It's not shallow, you just don't have great chemistry together.

Sorry that it ended up this way, but it's time to let her go.

>>32006393
I run marathons and shit so she’s already insecure because of that. I notice her encouraging me to eat more crappy food and gets upset if I refuse.

As for getting her to work out its difficult since she has damage to her legs (childhood car accident)

The only way this works is through dieting but food is her only vice. She’s hard working and normal in all other ways.

>>32006415
well, hard truth is your gana have to push her to be healthier harder then she pushes for you to get less healthy.
If your just not attracted to your partner because of their lifestyle you pretty much have to tell them.
Anything else would just be a lie (bad) and wouldnt solve the problem (also bad)
But that doesn't mean you can't be delicate about it

>>32006013
Not op but bahahahahahahahahahahaha

>>32006439
It’s really just me being a little bit whipped. I am almost enmeshed in her feelings so if she gets upset I get upset. I tend to avoid difficult conversations because of this. It’s just not wanting to make your gf cry which is pretty normal lmao.

Its going to be a long ordeal she’s into that body positivity crap on instagram which is ok sometimes, but its not really good for obese people. She will die before me at this rate and I can’t let that happen.

Framing it from a health longevity standpoint and for children in the future might be the best angle.

>>32006000
>my gf has gotten fat
Break up with her. Everything else is irrelevant.

>>32006650
Nah man. I don’t give up on people after they spend years treating me like royalty. And I don’t even ask.

Least she deserves is loyalty in return. Fat people don’t bother me, they just don’t turn me on.

>>32006680
Fag

>>32006691
Whatever you say. Despite this predicament I know I am better than you in every possible way.

Know how I know? You (faggot) don’t talk shit in person because you would get murdered.

I still think you should be open to having sex with other people. If you don't want to cheat, then say you want an open relationship.

>>32006702
It is tough to turn down women. Tiny japanese girl asked if I had a gf at college and I hesitated.

I got urges man, but also a frontal lobe so I don’t become a piece of shit.

Open relationship is breaking up without having the balls to do it IMO.

>>32006699
You're sleeping with an obese woman and refusing to cut it off despite this clearly causing problems.
You're a cuck, and a faggot.

>>32006718
(You) And the topic is that I am not fucking her, and that I want to fix her weight issue.

It sounds like you’re jealous but theres no reason to be. And why bring up cuckholding? Thats a you problem anon.

Dude you gotta stop watching porn. It only makes things worse and it will be impossible to get it back up again if you have that safety net in the back of your mind.

Go cold turkey, at least 1 month without it and soon you'll be desperate to get on with your girl. Trust me, been there done that, don't ruin that special bond you both created.

>>32006722
I'm giving you the obvious answer, and I knew you would piss and whine and make excuses for her. She is going to continue to get fatter until you realize that I'm right, and break up with her.
I am calling you a cuck because you're willingly putting up with it, and she knows it.
It'd be one thing if it was 10-20 pounds, but this is fucking 50 pounds.
If she was actually loyal to you, she wouldn't have put the weight on in the first place.

>>32006736
This is probably right. It could be an issue on both sides. Weight on hers, distractions and lust on mine.

I know real life isn’t pornography but I still do have standards that haven’t changed when I first met her.

It’s easy enough not to watch porn so I’ll give that a go.

On the upside I think it’s impressive we are still rock solid in the absence of sex. Not easy for some people on 4chan to understand but we really are inseperable.

Why is it that women have no issue staying with a partner that falls out of shape, but for men, a woman gaining a little weight is some sort of betrayal?

>>32006753
It isn’t a betrayal. I’m being honest that I can’t be attracted to it, while still refusing to leave someone who stuck with me against the odds.

>>32006753
Women do have an issue with this and frequently leave these men for other, stronger men.

>>32006762
This thread isn’t even man vs woman issue it’s my individual circumstance.

I think this poster is confusing their life with mine.

>>32006000
>She’s been under a lot of stress with a management job and her family is obese.
>She has gained I’m guessing 50lbs since we met. I can’t fuck her anymore.
Eating is just another way to cope with stress, and she probably learned that at home too. Get her on keto, or something else. But I guess how to lose weight is not the question, but how to tell and convince her. Either be blunt, but soft blunt.
>I love you, but I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore and I worry about your health in general
Or create some excuse, like how you've been raped as a kid by the fat neighbour girl and since then fatties trigger you.

>>32006766
and in your individual circumstance, you should stop cucking for a woman that doesn't respect you.

>>32006783
Your fetish has nothing to do with this thread.

>>32006780
Kek at the last line. And yeah keto is a good idea. I might depending how goes sit down together and research the best way to do it.

I am for sure going to be careful not to be psychotic and tell her to starve. Even if it takes five more years as long as theres change it’s good enough for me.

>>32006785
Have some fucking dignity mate
being with an obese woman is embarrassing.

>>32006797
Yes that is the purpose of this thread. Gotten enough male attention yet?

>>32006000
Talk to her. Retard.

>>32006846
Again that is the point of the thread. HOW is now the discussion, which higher IQ anons have helped with quite a bit.

>>32006856
And, as I have said already, there is no talking her into losing weight. She will continue to gain weight or "manage" her weight (stay the same weight)

>>32006864
I don’t believe you. Anyone can lose weight especially if they have help from someone who knows their way around fitness.

I haven’t been into dieting strictly mostly because I exercise enough, but since she has mobility issues in both legs from the car crash, dieting was helpful advice like keto from that other anon.

You are entirely unhelpful, not what you want to hear but thats the truth. No more (you) for you.

how is it possible that she has gained 50lb but you have not? if you're eating together

just fix her fucking portions, man, stop it with the twice a week takeouts, stop buying junk food, if ur hungry eat fruits and nuts as a snack through the day like what normal people do


its piss easy, you both have no excuse

>>32006886
She lives at her house and cannot exercise easily due to injury. Her family is obese and orders takeout. Its a miracle she wasn’t like this from childhood but I can see how all these factors and somewhat abusive people who only order takeout can cause this in her life.

Whats the point of offering advice without reading the post?

>>32006897
then the easiest solution is to simply get her away from her family and into your place to live surely

>>32006931
Seems unrealistic as opposed to just getting her to agree to a diet. She can afford groceries there, family will probably bitch at her though because if she wants to make something all of those trash have to be included and tell her what to make.

I don’t even go over there anymore because its so fucked.

>>32006944
OP, you should probably approach it at a health angle. If she’s obese, she would be noticing the difference in moving from before she gained weight. Sit her down and tell her that you’re genuinely worried for her health and then show her studies that confirm the heart issues obese people have. Also, there are multiple work outs for people with injured legs.

The main issue I see is her family. She needs to develop more assertive ways of communicating with them in order to stick to a diet plan.

>>32006736
That's fucked bro. Bro is a marathon runner and clearly has worked on himself to be physically fit (and I assume) attractive to a degree. (in-shape, not fat, etc). So to say he should lower his standards is wild. Sure I could not jerk off to porn and be a horn dog and fuck some hambeast, but I have self respect. Just like I feel people should have the respect for others to tell them they find them unattrative because of something CONTROLABLE. It's not like OP is saying its because she has small tits or something, weight gain is singifcant from a health and physical attractive standpoint. You are coping and settling which is sad to say the least.
>>32006752
THANK YOU OP FOR HAVING A BRAIN. Porn is not the issue, but is known to cause problems anways so that's probably a good thing to cut out.

>>32006753
Dumb take. You are probably a woman or a simp. Chicks do it all the time too and its valid if the change is significant enough. + 50 pounds is a lot.

>>32007077
This family is fatties so they will want to drag her down.

>>32006000
OP I will give you the best take I can, from someone who had a skinny to fat gf who wouldn't change. Everything was good in the relationship expect for that. You can keep it, but you NEED to tell her and start to introduce healthlier methods. My ex said she was but clearly wasn't, as she was packing on the pounds. Take her for walks if she is unable to run/workout fully. She can still do light lifts I assume? Diet is most important and the issue is she has to WANT to change. If she does not want to or is undisplined it won't work. Since you feel strongely I would say try your best to get her to do it on her own with your support of course. Spell it out if she isn't getting the hint. Worse comes to worse you ultimatum it or become sexless or learn to love it lmao. But don't forget its also just a health issue. Down the line it will catch up. Good luck.

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>>32006000
>I masturbate furiously
top kek

Stop treating women like people, treat her as a pet, meal prep for her and take away her money/CCs so she can't buy more food

>>32006000
stop masturbating and pow she'll be hot again

Tell her shes fat, but frame it as concern for her health. Maybe take up cooking as a "hobby" and cook decent meals. She will want to encourage you by eating the dishes you make for her. She will fill up on the healthy foods and eat less junk. Switch her soda to diet.

>>32006415
>I notice her encouraging me to eat more crappy food and gets upset if I refuse.
Force her to eat twenty Big Macs in one sitting and see how she feels about fast food after that.

>>32006753
Men and women are different. Men pee standing up, women pee sitting down. Men have testicles, women have periods.
That doesn't make it bad, it just means it is different, generally speaking. Even if women have sex drives and enjoy sex as well, men oftentimes have a higher, more outgoing, sex drive so being attracted to a woman is important to stick around. Women may favor emotional things over physical things, that doesn't mean they don't prefer or enjoy a man being physically attractive.

>>32006008
Very based, i hope you find the answer to your problem anon

>>32006415
How about learning how to cook then feed her good food? Ultra-processed food and the like make people hungrier by design
https://youtu.be/zz2WR6tVg5E

>>32011784
You can try ozempic as the last option

her family is obese. if you stay with her long term you are going to have to live with these genetics and the fat is only gonna get worse. are you ok with that?

>I notice her encouraging me to eat more crappy food and gets upset if I refuse
this is bad man...

>>32006680
>Least she deserves for treating me well is loyalty in return
so she owns you? so you deny that you have the freedom to make decisions about your life that are good for you if it upsets someone you care about? relationships should be voluntary. if she's treated you like royalty as a consensual *transaction* and not because she wants to show her love for you freely, then you're right, you owe her compensation (but no feelings of guilt for not wanting to fuck her). if she's freely expressing her love,then the relationship is voluntary and she must honor your freedom to leave, and caring about your happiness and well-being would be the loving thing for her to do

>>32006415
>getting her to work out its difficult since she has damage to her legs
is there some way to improve this?

even if not, leg exercises are not the only exercise options. go to the gym with her and hire a personal trainer for both of you. even if you don't need a trainer, it could help motivate her and teach her how to be physical on her own when away from the gym. what about swimming? if you have no pool is there a public one you could use?

what about watching a health or vegetarian documentary together? that could make her think about her health and lifestyle


>>32006712
>Open relationship is breaking up without having the balls to do it
not necessarily. if she can accept it, then you're doing it so that you can have a sex life. you can stay committed to her romantically, while helping her lose weight. when you can fuck her again happily you make the relationship exclusive again. of course itll be easy to get led astray by another woman, so this is risky and will take discipline.


>>32006393
have you never talked to a woman?

>>32006000
>we depend on each-other emotionally. We don’t have friends it’s just us.
also you need to make some friends! co-dependency is no way to live!

>>32006008
you’re so sweet

>>32006008
>I am willing to stay with her and be celibate. I need to figure out how to get her to lose weight.
What makes you think you can make her lose weight? You're not willing to leave her, so you don't have that as leverage. You already don't have sex with her. How long are you willing to be celibate? The rest of your life?

Get the fuck out of there. You're 23. If she's a similar age (early-mid 20s) with an obese family, her odds are not good.
>>32006746
Harsh but fair.

OP, if you became obese and refused to do anything about it, would you blame your girlfriend for leaving you if you refused to change? Assuming she's not into fat guys.

>>32006000
Why is leaving not an option? Why would she ever change if you’re always going to be around?

You’re both unhappy. She’s unhappy because she’s fat. You’re unhappy because you don’t want to fuck your fat girlfriend, which is valid.

Quit being a pussy and tell her she needs to lose weight. Also the idea that she can’t exercise because of an injury is bullshit. There is always a form of exercise that can circumvent injury and allow someone some form of an active lifestyle.

You’re ignoring all of the solutions and throwing a pity part. Either tell her to put the fucking cookie down, leave her, or quit bitching.

>>32006013
Chat does this work? It sounds like it could maybe if you leave out pig just say fat and repulsive.

I think that you fucked up by letting it go on this long. So the eating thing- you really can't ask her to go on walks or eat better by cooking? I think this is your penance for lying to her face so long. You can explain the depression is the reason but you must commit. Be positive she will love the changes in her body