>be 30, ended 8-year relationship because I ruined her trust towards me and it never improved>three years later, self-improving, weightlifting, cooking, etc.>at the point women find me physically attractive, but my heart is still locked tight>only 1 body count from my 8-year ex>have had 3 opportunities to fuck, rejected all>4th comes, she's 10/10 banger with incredible personality>date for a month, made out, felt her up, she gives me the greenlight to drive her back to my place>I suddenly get nervous and made two excuses not to bring her over, she say it's fine to do another day>the following week, she's out for two weeks>two weeks later, text her and she ignores me, won't block or unfriend me (???)I look back at our texts and realized she gave me two chances to reel her the fuck in and my indecisive bitch ass likely turned her off. I don't know if it's the fact I only fucked one person in my entire life, but when I met this girl I kept saying to myself>get this right, she hits all the marks from looks to personality, don't rush itI also fucked up by never clarifying with her what I wanted between us. If she was only looking for a fix then we would have respectively gone our separate ways, but I should have been more upfront that I do see something serious between us. I will get over it in a month, but I am infuriated with myself. I should have drove her home and talked some more... It's all I wanted, honestly. Anyways, I come to /adv/, how do I not fuck up the next girl I find a banger top to bottom and our personality meshes well to where we can talk for hours to no end? I'm super nervous about the thought of sex, my mind just fixated on finding someone who I want to know inside-out is all?
>>32010137Is the possiblity of apologizing and communicating clearly (what you wanted between you, how much she means to you) already out the window?
>>32010137you didnt trust yourself. you dont trust yourself. it seems like trust is a recurring problem in your life. maybe you can work on that. why dont you trust yourself anon?
>>32010145I don't know, she only came back from vacation today and I know because she told me when she'd be back. So when I woke up this morning, I sent her a text of a simple welcome back and a joke, to which she ignored. I checked the app and saw she was online so she is clearly ignoring me. Even before I made this thread, I was already willing to send another text tomorrow simply saying>Hey, you okay? Did your vacation go well or?>>32010148Damn, I am ashamed that you are spot on. Without blogging it all, in a nutshell I been working on trusting myself over time. From childhood to that 8-year relationship where she cheated on me and I cheated back, it led to a lot of indecisiveness in my dating life. I'm trying real hard to trust my inner thoughts.Thanks you two, I already feel a bit better getting two different perspectives into the situation.
>>32010164Since she's back, maybe ask her out for another date? Give you an opportunity to talk to her and spend time together.The problem is most likely your indecisiveness. She could also have taken your excuses to not have sex for lack of attraction. So you'll likely have to clarify both of these points. Don't be afraid to explain that you've been out of a long-term relationship and need time to process things.You got this anon!
>>32010164its not really your faultif not getting sex when she wanted happens to be what made her turned off by you then thats clearly not the kind of relationship you wantedat best you probably missed out on sex, but if shes serious she'll start talking to you again
>>32010137Refusing to fuck a girl in this situation is basically the worst insult you could make. Especially if she's a 10/10 and can get men easily. You told her "You're not hot enough for me". Girls, especially the beautiful ones, know (even if unconsciously) what effect a hot body has on a man and will get deeply confused when a man refuse them with seemingly no reason, it is a grave threat to their ego. Her reaction is normal. What is less normal is that you don't know that at 30, but now you know, use the experience to move on.
>>32010137Your worst mistake was letting he 8-year thing go
