Posted it on b but I think it needs to be here I’m talking to this girl on insta and we’ve talked about cars and movies etc and recently I asked her about what she’s studying in uni and I’m planning to talk more about personal stuff, but when do I know when to ask her out on a date ? Like I asked friends and when they read what we wrote to each other they said it’s pretty much in the platonic stage rnWe’ve been talking for almost three weeks btw
>>32012501should have asked her on the second day
>>32012513Ok so does that mean I’ve already missed my shot ?
>>32012501>We’ve been talking for almost three weeks btwhave you tried being flirtatious with her or have you become her penpal?if you have been flirting, then ask her out casually to something you'll be doing anyway, her presence not being requiredif penpal, abort if you're truly interested in her or just become her friend and hope she has some nice friends
>>32012518Probably yes, probably she's annoyed by your conversations as it's not going anywhere.It's possible she genuinely thinks you're a friend, but naive people like that are rare on a platform like instagram.
>>32012524Idk if I’ve been flirty… like I did a bit and one time I asked her something and she said “alwaysss” so maybe she did too but , idk I’m trying not to read into everything she says. Generally though penpalsWdym by abort ?
>>32012501Ask her out as soon as possible. There's no harm in asking a girl out for dinner. If she says no, then she's not interested.
>>32012528Umm sometimes I try to end the convo and then she starts being way more talkative.. so I don’t know if she’s frustrated, and she asked me to tell her what I thought of some movie she liked
>>32012518>Ok so does that mean I’ve already missed my shot ?you can still take a shot, it's just a harder shot
>>32012552Why ? She’s more engaged in the convo now then two weeks ago
>>32012501Ask her out now. Find something fun to do in the upcoming week and ask if she’d like to join you
>>32012501Present it as a friends-getting-together thing at first. Pick up on something she says "You said you like modern art. Want to go to the Picasso exhibit at the museum?"Plug in superhero movies/Son Of Spiderman, folk music/coffeehouse, animals/zoo, or whatever
>>32012559Why would she agree to it
>>32012562Would you just meet up with a person you’ve never met before or known about three weeks ago if it wasn’t a date ?
>>32012567because you're showing interest
>>32012539cuz you'll have unrequited feelings and that shit sucksif you've been penpal for too long she'll basically treat you like one of the girls and you will have no chance with her
>>32012687So how do I make it not come to that
>>32012619But Idk if she’s interested in me
>>32012822You ask her out to find out. If you never ask her, she will assume you're not interested and fuck some other guy.
>>32012831So either I ask and possibly fumble this or I don’t ask and she’ll never ask me
>>32012839That's how it works. If you wait for a girl to ask you, you'll never get her. Ever
>>32012919This… sucks balls
>>32012501>>32012822>>32012839>>32012919Bro just ask her out now. Worst case she says no and nothing develops and you stay fucking penpals until either her and you lose interest. Versus. Putting on big boy pants and typing you want to hang out. You say fumble like you already haven't in not asking her out sooner. Fumbling would be to stay pen pals "waiting" like a cuck for the right moment.
>>32012932Welcome to dating.
>>32012819ask to meetask her on a dateshoot your shotdon't give a shit if she's interested, just fucking do it
>>32012949So what just ask her out for a movie or somthing ?
>>32012972Yeah you’re right
>>32013024ask her out NOW and screen it
>>32013039It won’t be in English so… And no I’m not gonna do it now, i need to think on how to do it
>>32013067the more you think about it the less you will want to do ityou will be stuck thinking and overthinkingjust fucking do it man, really
>>32013080Ok but we haven’t talked in 2 days and I need a reason to ask her out no ? Been thinking of asking her if she wants to watch this movie she recommended me together
>>32013021>>32013089Movie is fine, if its something she would be interested in. You know her interests better then us lmao.
>>32013089just tell her "hey i'm free on X, wanna watch X movie at my place?" just go at it nonchalanteither you do something or you never will and will think about "what ifs"
>>32012501post da logs
Need some advice on dealing with my partner coming to terms with a recent autism diagnosis.>Be with GF 5 years>Lots of ups and downs throughout relationship>Moved three states over together>Ended up both having bad job experiences>Decide to plan to move to Germany with her family>2 months before we move she finds out she's autisic>Spend the next 2 months reading books with her, researching different blogs, and information about the topic to be more understanding >Move to Germany>Girlfriend believes all she can handle is learning German full time (which I know is no joke based off of my part time studying)>Doesn't help cook, clean, plan, or show interest in anything revolving us>It's only about her autism, struggles with it, and school>I'm working a full time job, doing all the household work, going to the gym, and half assed learning German. >Have a serious talk about me feeling burnt out and not being happy>No response or validation from, just turns it into the suffering Olympics about how her life is harder>Begin to emotionally detach and feel hopeless in the relationship>Within a month she completely does a 180 and is up early, doing laundry, making her own breakfast, lunch, etc.This is just the gist of it all, but I'm finding this all hard to cope with given how tumultuous it's all been on top of our relationship not being super easy before all of this. I feel a lot of resentment and frustration that I got almost to my breaking point and she did a whole 180 and picked it up. I feel like I should be appreciative of it, but it's just always happens in one way or another with our relationship. Where it's great, going good, loving life, to everything is slow, hard, she's depressed, burnt out, etc. and I just am waiting for the next bullshit to begin. Idk it's half a rant/half needing an outside perspective on this scenario of how to progress.
>>32013678man this situation is complexi would go to a couples therapist, you're not gonna find any actual good advice here
Well we did to therapy before all of this and that also didn't help much. It mostly felt like her attacking me and trying to have the therapist take her side where a lot of legitimate help that could have happened didn't.
>>32014671at this point you have to ask yourself if you can tolerate living the rest of your life with this womanis this something you look forward to, are neutral about, or absolutely dread?because from the sounds of it she's not willing to work on herself and is instead finding an excuse for her shitty actions, this most likely won't changealthough you could try and shake her up so she realises you could be on your way out and see if she sticks to not being a bitch for more than a month at a time
