where do normal people go to hang out and meet friends? whenever I go to bars it's always empty except for like 3 or 4 boomers and whenever I go to clubs the music is way too fucking loud for me to talk to anyone
>>32014070Work
>>32014070Social hobbies/hobby clubs. Although places to "hang out and meet friends" are more rare nowadays than before, 3rd places are dying because everything is so expensive nowadays.If you have no friends a better option is to meet someone at uni/work and integrate yourself into their social circle.
>>32014082Normies go on and on about "don't shit where you work", your job is supposed to remain separate from your personal life. I would never interact with anyone I work with under different circumstances.
>>32014099Nta but nobody cares about people dating in low level jobs, the kind where you make 10$ an hour. But at "real" jobs, it is indeed usually a bad idea.
>>32014105It hasn't worked anyway because I've asked my coworkers what they do outside of work and it's always shit like "go shopping", "watch TV at home", "go out to eat".Those aren't activities I have any interest in.
>>32014070I won't read how to get friends threads. See the archive.
>>32014098>If you have no friends a better option is to meet someone at uni/work and integrate yourself into their social circle.I'm not OP but I work with my step-mom and don't go to uni or have any other coworkers.
>>32014105Bullshit. I have an office job and my workplace is my primary source of social interaction because, surprise surprise, those people are likely to have a similar lifestyle to mine. The trick is not to be friendly with evil people, and those who are emotionally immature
>>32014070go to concerts, bars targeted towards a younger audience, pub quizzes. works best if you're in a bigger, younger city though
>>32014812Hanging out with coworkers outside of work is never a good idea
there's only 2 places to do itschools or through people you already know>>32014082nope, they just work and go home>>32014098nope, all hobbies are done in complete solitary or with people you already know>>32014827nopeconcerts just force you to come in and stare and performer, no speaking since too much noise and no one is looking at youin bars everyone comes in and sits in their autism meat cube unable to detach and speak to someone outside of it
>>32014070Go to a bar about 3 times. If there's no good conversation, switch bars. Do this until you run out of bars or until you find a good one. There's a lot of variation in bars. Some are definitely "boomer bars". Others are "group bars" (people go there in groups, if you aren't in a group, you won't have anyone to talk to). But there are "chatty bars" where people tend to go there to chat with people around them. Only way to discover a given bar's culture is to go a few times.You can also look for bars that do live music. It's not as blaring as a club and when the band takes breaks you can chat and mingle a bit with people around you (and the band is an obvious talking point).If you're lucky and live around family, don't pass up chances to hang out with cousins or whatnot -- not, as /b/ would have you do, to date them, but because they have friends and maybe eventually you can get some introductions. "Friends of friends" is a good way to meet people.Work: the only real thing to avoid here is emotionally brittle people that you have to work closely with. Dating a coworker who works in another section (you have no professional interaction with them, you just work for the same company in the same building) is generally fine. Even dating a close coworker can be worth a shot but be pretty sure about it! 5 years from now one or both of you will likely have different jobs regardless so don't throw away a potential life-long relationship because "coworker".
>>32014099>>32014105My ex is an engineer at a major aerospace corporation and literally the only place she has any friends or social interaction is at her job and she met her new bf there.I am kind of hoping it backfires on her (she dumped me at the lowest point of my life to go date that guy joke's on her I make more money than both of them now kek) but I really don't think the whole "don't shit where you eat" rule applies anymore.
I've been trying to make friends all my life and the reward for all of my effort is a 30th birthday party I spent utterly alone because I simply never succeeded in befriending anyoneBeen to a therapist who basically said 'haha there's nothing wrong just keep doing what you're doing' and asked if we could conclude on the 5th meetingI tried a hiking club on facebook, things went well, you're walking with a bunch of young adults for 4 hours, plenty of time to chat. Great! Finished hike, said goodbye, next month a new hike, who turns up? None of the people from the last hike, all fresh new faces, back to square one. Over and over. No chance. I went to a gym club and a rowing club for a few years but literally never figured out the busy hours and genuinely never had a single fucking conversation because every time I turned up to train the gym was emptyOK so, let's try a book club. I tried one and when I turned up the leader said 'hi everyone and welcome to our last book club' as they were cancelling due to some weird reasons with the organiser. OK fine. Half a year passes and a new book club forms that I scoped out on Facebook. Attended one. All women, reading strictly women books. I don't mind the odd girlie romance but I just couldn't bring myself to attend this club for the next year and read 12 books about free love and periods and whatever. I'm a man, it was impossible for me to find something like that worth my time. My most recent attempt was today, actually, I had signed up to an adults watercolouring class at a local school $160 for 10 sessions, plenty of time to hold conversations and form connections with some other 30 year olds right? You can imagine my distain when I walked in to the class to see 25 grandmothers staring back at me. I know watercolouring isn't the most exciting hobbies but jesus fucking christ that pissed me off. Probably not going to be able to get a refund.
>>32015189I feel like screaming. The worst part is my town is BRIMMING with people my age. I see them constantly while walking around, so many couples, so many groups, everyone has friends and I'm the odd one out. A freak of nature. I don't fucking get it. I don't see what I'm doing wrong. This is my fucking hometown I was born here. I have read FOUR books on self care, cognative behavioral therapy, a fucking FBI book on body language and that fucking 'how to win friends and influence people' my eyes have drunk every single sentence in every fucking reddit 'how do I get friends' threads that I am practically a living AI generator on advice for forming relationships, all in this desperate, wasteful hunt to find a person I can actually click with. I want to tell a fucking joke, I want to smile at someone, I want to tease someone, I want to kiss someone, I want to hear my fucking name said. I'm a fucking human being, why the fuck is the purpose of my existence if it is to be imprisoned in life like this.
>>32015189Out of all those activities you listed, how many of them did you try because they're things you enjoy doing/thought you'd enjoy doing?
>>32015212all of them, I genuinely love books, boats and watercolouring.
>>32015189I wouldn't necessarily give up on things like "watercoloring with grandmas", assuming you actually wanted to do the painting, anyway. I mean if the ONLY reason you were doing it is on the hope of meeting a hottie then fine but if you wanted to try watercoloring, then try it. Because all them grandmas in there probably have extended families. Oh aren't you a dear! You should meet my daughter Jessica! Etc. This is often why it can be important to have bro friends too. Sometimes you just can't land the direct hit. Being introduced to someone through a mutual acquaintance is the far more common scenario but it can't happen if you turn down friendship with anyone that isn't direct dating material.
>>32015330I will say it's frustrating to me that my coworkers don't socialize. One of them is an introvert, like me, and we have a lot in common, but to her, work is almost a relaxing getaway because outside of work she is constantly surrounded by friends and family. She has no interest in being the slightest bit social. She's recharging her introvert social batteries when she's at work and I get that. For me, though, work is the only real chance I get for actual irl people to talk to or hang out with. I'd love to just eat lunch together now and then.So yeah, I do feel that screenshot.I used to really love watching movies. I rarely do anymore. Without anyone to share the experience with (either during or "at the watercooler" later), it has hollowed out the experience and I find I don't enjoy it anymore.I got no real solutions. I go out all the time. The bar scene actually has gotten me some hookups, even, but I dunno how to find anything lasting.
>>32015371They are held hostage by a paycheck and you expect them to socialize with you afterwards? Get a fucking grip.
>>32014099Yeah that's what autistic incels say. If you aren't a weirdo bang away at work. There are some increased risks, but you just have to navigate them properly.
>>32015203Your problem is you are too inside your own head about it. The people who have friends aren't reading all that info about it. Also your friend group left your hometown and you should havr already had someone to leave with or bridged connections to a different group. When you have no friends it is damn near impossible unless you go to gaming stores for casual play. Even then it might take a bit to get into a group.
>>32014099i am not OP. Most jobs I have had, I would not interact with co-workers because it was work I could do mostly solo or interactions were with supervisors or the one time I was a supervisor or when training new hires. A couple jobs we would go out to team lunches but that was it. I usually ate in my car alone. My last job I hit it off with a couple of people and really wanted to go bowling after work. One guy invited me to his house when it was done being built. It was a solo type of job, so why not? Sadly Covid happened, after a year my work performance suffered even though I was a work from home hire. I got pulled back to the office and got depressed due to supervisor pressure and fired after only working 3 hours a day for a month even though I was always scheduled for full time. January hit, I missed my goal and was stuck at the office still. Ruined mental state. At home vs. the office was no different because of how the job was but being at the office was punishment for not being good enough in one area despite being in the top 1% in the whole conpany in other metrics. Never got to go bowling. Fuck Covid timing, fuck metrics. Things only got shitty when my supervisor's boss got involved. Until then, it was the only job I've been happy to go to. I never bothered to exchange contact info because I was thinking I'd do that whenever bowling happened.
>>32014864NTA It's fine if you don't need them to do your job. Might be someone who you see a lot and that's it. My job I don't deal with anyone in my own department other than supervisors and new hires.
>>32016943NTA Does the grandma introducing you EVER work? My reaction if my grandparent's introduced a girl to me would be to thank her for humoring them and apologize privately.
>>32017013Was meant for>>32015228
>>32014098>Social hobbies/hobby clubsthis is just bullshit, unless youre a complete souless normie who likes doing the same souless normie things as everyone else like "hiking" or some other variant of nothing.>>32014910dont listen to this guy bars dont work the only thing that kind of works are dating apps or through friends
>>32015189yep this NEVER EVER WORKS it maybe works in college or for people who are 100% normie. it will NEVER EVER work for you. stop wasting time on it. its what i learned. Ive done all kinds of fucking activities as well and it just boils down to whether women think you are attractive or not. If they think you are attractive AND you have a charming personality they might try to ingratiate themselves with you otherwise youre out in the cold.Women are incredibly cold calculating creatures, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. if you want a friend get a dog. Women will never give one single fuck about you if you are ugly.
>>32017056A dog is not an acceptable substitution for a living breathing human beingHonestly I don't believe you at all. My problem is not that I believe women perceive me as ugly, because they don't. The problem is I'm unable to find socially acceptable places where I can befriend men or women my age
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