I've lost a significant sum of money in crypto (don't want to mention the amount but enough to retire) over the last year. I lost most of it with some very stupid trades (I discovered I have a mental disorder, an obsession with certain numbers, which blinded my judgement). Before this, I was fired three times from my job but never intended working again, so I wasn't initially worried. But now it's all coming to me: I've fucked up badly and will never be able to make back what I lost. I feel suicidal to the point where I had a loaded gun to my head. I'm not sure how to move forward to this. I'm not particularly smart or hardworking. I just got "lucky" by making this money, and now it's gone. How do I not give in to my suicidal thoughts, my feeling of worthlessness and despair?
Just don't kill yourself? Pretend you're a broke college student and that you never had any money to begin with.
He bought?
>>32016478And just live a miserable life, barely scraping by and looking forward to nothing and working a shitty job?>>32016493It happened exactly like this. Emotional back and forth buying and selling. Getting raped by market fees in the process
>>32016511replace 'is abilify with sugar pills and install Opera GX
>>32016458>I discovered I have a mental disorder, an obsession with certain numbers, which blinded my judgementlmao just own the fact that you were a retard. take responsibility for your stupid decisions instead of trying to blame some made up jewish mental illness.Maybe then you'll be able to do something about it instead of an heroing to escape it
Were you using leverage? Even 5x isn't safe. You have to get out right after making your money.
>>32016458If the mental disorder is that bad see if you can get on disability. It should help with the money aspect
>>320165332x leverage but opening up shorts based on my obsession and hatred of certain numbers. literally if I did the exact opposite, opening up 2x long, this would have been a happy ending >>32016535I’m convinced it’s autism but not interested in getting diagnosed formally
>>32016458So, you're broke now? Welcome the club, it sucks.
>>32016458You know the saying, easy come easy go? Well that’s you. That’s the lesson.I had the same situation with the stock market. Gained and lost a fortune without getting to enjoy one dime. There are no job prospects.I don’t have a suicidal personality even a tiny bit, but of course I went into a deep, long depression. Quite similar to you, I know the feeling of constantly calling yourself an idiot, garbage, trash constantly. Thinking it in your mind, saying it aloud. Feeling like you just wasted a lifetime of luck all in one shot and will never get another chance. Feeling completely dead and joyless, not actually caring about anything, even losing the fear of death. It IS death, identity death. That former you is gone forever and you know it.Certainly, incorrect choices that you made directly resulted in your undoing, but so do the actions of an animal that falls into a trap or eats poison bait. Perhaps through sheer luck, you managed to tilt things in your favor just a tiny bit for a very brief moment. The fact is, you’re in an environment that is specifically designed to make that impossible, as evidenced by how easily and rapidly you lost it without changing your strategy. So much of your self-hatred and guilt comes from the misguided notion that you are somehow responsible for failing in a system that exists to ensure your failure. Whether through luck or talent, it’s to your credit that you were able to see a glimmer of light for even a second. But the traps always work, given a little time. You shouldn’t hate yourself. You should hate the bullshit system that ensnares you, and the parasites who will steal and steal from you, forever, never satisfied. They will keep stealing from you even when all you have is a wagie paycheck. It’s never enough. Hate THEM. Every time you start to call yourself “stupid” or “trash”, correct yourself. Remind yourself of who your real enemies are. Dedicate your new life to destroying their systems.
>>32016458you're a gambling addict and you should seek treatment
>>32017105Going forward, separate yourself from rigged systems as much as possible. Do whatever you can think of to become more independent. As you surely know, nobody will ever pay you what you’re worth as an employee, so you have to find your own way of doing things if you won’t want to live the rest of your life with leeches all over you. To do that, you must always be sharpening your sword. What is your edge? The thing that you are best at, that gives you a competitive advantage, a place, a purpose? Build your new life through that. Put all of your energy into it. You probably don’t care about trivial entertainment like vidya anymore, or at least nowhere as much as you used to. Take all the energy you used to put into those things and turn it into action. There is nothing else for you to do. Perhaps at the end of that path, you can look forward to something good happening again. It will be a long and arduous labor, but you have already experienced much worse, and are mentally ready to handle it. Turn your suffering into power. Use the lack of fear you now have to move accurately and without hesitation.
>>32016458> Aquire stuff that would be worth money if invested correctly or sold at the right time> Don't invest it correctly or sell it at the right time> "I have lost so much money I want to kill myself"crypto retards, every time. you didn't have money. you just lost at the casino.
>>32016458>I discovered I have a mental disorderYeah, retardation.>literally if I did the exact opposite, opening up 2x long, this would have been a happy endingIf only I'd picked red at the roulette table! Honestly you need to own that you're a spaz and probably a gambling addict. Also learn the lesson to not retire when your assets consist of leveraged crypto plays.You just have to learn and keep going. If it makes you feel better at least you're roughly where you started. You could cope that you never had it at all
>>32016458I played all my cards bros.No more aces to play.This is it for me, the final stretch of my life. All the doors have closed in on me, all my options are gone and all my opportunities vanished. I have abandoned the few remaining people in my life and further drifted into obscurity. I don't have anybody anymore, from here on I stand completely alone.The few remaining battles left in me now look more and more lost with each passing day, I'm afraid I just have to show up and accept defeat. And so capitulation draws near.. it's over for me bros.
