Best friend: "I want a man who is tall, makes six-figures, and works out!" Me: >I want a man who will choke me, bite me, tie me up and cut me, and maybe play with my blood a little bit while I'm crying"Ahh yeah, me too ha ha..." I know I shouldn't be this way, but I can't help it, and it's to the point I don't even feel bad about it anymore. All I care about is maintaining the facade that I'm a normal girl like everyone else. So do I need therapy, or not? Because I'm very aware I have an unhealthy and dangerous sexual appetite, one which even men aren't into. I just don't see what good there is in talking to someone about it, though. I've been this way since I was a kid and it's never really changed.
>>32019336Probably just stuck that way OP. Hope you can find someone who will do that stuff do you in a loving and consentual relationship
>>32019336>>I want a man who will choke me, bite me, tie me up and cut me, and maybe play with my blood a little bit while I'm cryingSame. Went to therapy on and off for years, nothing's changed lmao. Some things are best left as fantasy.
>>32019336I have done a lot of things to women but cutting them and playing with their blood is a bit too much for me. I read in an article recently that erotic choking now is even supposedly bad for you long term but who knows if that is true in 2024.My girl cuts herself and I have been taking it not so well. I am thinking of breaking up with her soon over it because I feel responsible somehow even though she assures me it is not the case. I just cant really bear to see someone I have emotional commitment to do that to herself.
Funny. I'm a man, tall, handsome, pretty successful. But since I was a kid I had violent sexual urges and fantasies. Rape, strangulation, slapping and beating. I've had a normal middle class upbringing and don't remember any truamatic thing happening to me. I think some people are just wired differentlyI have a long-term gf but I hide and suppress that part of myself. And while that leaves me sexually unfulfilled in a way, that's a small price to pay imo
>>32019362Glad I'm not the only one.>Some things are best left as fantasy.The problem is I've had a taste of it before and liked it.
>>32019385I wont share my deepest fantasies with my SO either. For one, I dont think they would be interested and I dont want them to think less of me for sometimes wanting them to abuse me during sex.
just do it, see if you still like it afterwards
>>32019413Yeah and I don't want to be seen as a psychopathic sadist. My girl would indulge me to a degree I think ( like most women she's into the softer stuff: spanking, soft choking, hairpulling) but my tastes go far beyond that. I think it's best to lock that part of yourself far away
>>32019429Thats not the issue. Will my SO still like me, if I ask for some rough play?
>>32019385> I've had a normal middle class upbringing and don't remember any truamatic thing happening to me.Okay, you got me. I did have something happen to me. Other than that, yes, same. Middle-class suburban upbringing. I went to church and everything. >I have a long-term gf but I hide and suppress that part of myself. I have a boyfriend of sorts (fwb) and I do the same because it would definitely scare him off. The "fantasy" aspect of it would be for these things (listed above) to happen naturally to me and for me to not have to ask for it. He's gotten rough with me before but only after I asked him to, and it's the asking part which takes away 80% of the "fun" for me. >I think some people are just wired differentlyI think you're right.
>>32019409Fair. You just have to be careful to find a good and kind masculine boyfriend before revealing that side to avoid psychotic abusers. And the cutting is usually too far for those who aren't the latter.
>>32019446OP here. I say ease into it and back off immediately if she doesn't like it.
>>32019336She wants the exact same thing but from a chad who makes 6 fig and works out, what do you think the working out is for? It's for hitting her harder
>>32019336>>32019362Huh? That's like the most common fantasy ever. I thought all women are like this, some just don't say it out loud lest they appear promiscuous.
>>32019478I understand. I do some consensual non consent stuff with her at times but it's still mostly playful. It scratches the itch but not really. Like getting into a lukewarm bath
>>32019496>I thought all women are like thisNo, lmao.
>>32019496None of my close girlfriends were into that to the extreme I am. Tied wrists and light spanking was about as rough as they wanted.
>>32019502How to ask my SO to indulge in cnc stuff to/with me?
>>32019518It's a tragedy I never meet women like you irl. It would be fireworks
>>32019541Maybe you have and just dont know.
>>32019539Just be open about it. Bring it in a playful way, not in a heavy 'we need to talk about something' way. Lay it on light. Start with the small stuff. Him using his bodyweight more, letting him restrain you. Workout a safe word. Make sure he does aftercare if you need it
>>32019545Possibly. It's a hard thing to pick up on. You can kinda feel people's sexual vibe, but not how deep it goes
>>32019502>Like getting into a lukewarm bathBig YEP. An orgasm is an orgasm, they're fine and nice and neat. But what's lacking is the sexual threat, and that's my "itch" I can't get scratched. I know guys cannot really understand this, what a sexual threat is, or feeling vulnerable in a crowd of people, but it's like if you were dropped in the woods with a bunch of vampires; you know you're fucked, and there's nothing you can do. Well it's the "nothing I can do" aspect that forever eludes me, because if I have to ask for rough play from my boyfriend, then I am doing something, and I'm in total control, which is what I don't want. And therein lies the problem. 90% of guys are not going to be into the kind of things I'm into, and the other 10% probably have lamps made out of human skin.
>>32019551"HAHAHA wouldn't it be fun if you bound me with duct tape and angrily had your way with me like I was a gd raggity anne?"I mean... Im shaking in my boots at the thought of trying to approach the subject. "I think I would really like it if you kept slapping me as hard as you could while you pin me down and force yourself inside" ... I dont want them to be turned off by me being graphic, but how to subtly or ease my way into this?
>>32019336> one which men aren't intoHave you met actual men?You are inventing an imaginary made-up problem. But actually, what you want to do is do kinky shit with the guys who don't expressively want to do it. Just find some incel dweeb who isn't totally repulsive and train him. He might resist at first but don't give up instantly, be gently persistent you can get an incel dweeb to do anything sexual.Or just write slash fiction and use your imagination, learn to goon. Depending on other people for sexual satisfaction is needless in this day and age.
>>32019336It's in your DNA to be a submissive concubine.
>>32019336In all honesty anon, choking, biting, tying, cutting... they're just kinks. You're allowed to have them. It doesn't make your sexuality unhealthy in any way (as long as it remains within the limits of consent, of course). What you could do is see if you have a local kink/BDSM scene. I'm sure people would be glad to have you. You'd meet like-minded people, make connections and learn to accept yourself.
>>32019385>>32019478Reminds me of this guy's experience in Japan, apparently it's the norm for Japanese girls to tell their partner to stop but they secretly want you to continue, and if you take it literally, you basically fail.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOOAn7zC1dMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbcHKj-zTeA (longer story that makes it obvious that the girl wanted the man to take things in his own hands but he stuck to his western ideal and didn't "unleash" himself)As a man I've always thought the concept of rape or being forceful/coercion hot (but I choose to not do it because it's against the rules of our society), and according to the Japanese example it looks like women like it to some degree too. Rape fantasies are common and my overall assessment is that it's in human nature for men to often want to "take" women without consent and for women to like to be "taken" without it being their choice (like you said, asking ruins the fun).This creates a problem in especially modern western society where we can't practice this natural dynamic without the man being in a huge risk of being sued. Basically, in an ideal world, men would push women's boundaries but to a reasonable extent, and the woman still has the ability to say the "real" no.On porn sites there are some extreme Japanese/Asian deepthroat videos where I'm not even sure how consensual it is anymore. In those videos you can observe that there's a fighting back reaction (which the woman maybe enjoys?) and then there's the REAL fighting back that the man obeys most of the time (pushing him away with all her strength, turning head, etc), though even in this there can be more layers. I find this stuff hot but also problematic from my western lens (also dangerous with the suffocation and puking), I've always wondered what women think about the forcing dynamic (when you ignore the potential gross factor of the act itself).
>>32019681>>32019674You can accept it all you want and even find other individuals that accept it. It's degenerate sexuality. Let's not kid ourselves.
>>32019681The importance of clear communication and enforced limits. A little playful fighting back is bratty - a lot is clearly because the person wants to stop.That's why we have sex-words (instead of just "stop").
>>32019718*safe-words. Big typo here.
>>32019336>Best friend: "I want a man who is tall, makes six-figures, and works out!"Nobody says this.
>>32019718Doesn't the presence of a safe word dilute the experience, turning it into a kind of fake game? Like there's forcing but it's not REALLY forcing because they have agreed that the girl can always pull the plug? Though I guess safe word can work as a good middle ground.If you listen the longer story, even though the guy was clueless, the girl refused to give him a hint, while clearly trying to entice him to become forceful, basically she was trying to lose control over what the guy would do. I wonder how women see this guy in the story, because in my eyes he kind of failed as a man because of the way he stuck to his moral principle.
>>32019336Just have weird sex femcel
shit like this is literally always just a cope with wanting to be raped but still wanting to have some dual sense of being something with dignity after literally desiring to have it all stripped away, you people are literal clowns and you should never accept this within yourself. Literally, do better. I can't believe we let people like this vote.
>>32019681Japan is actually more reasonable here in that if you end up alone with a freshly showered woman, everyone understands that she has signed up for sex and doesn't get to back out of it. It seems confusing but it's actually crystal clear compared to our weird shit where you can revoke consent at any point during the act
>>32019336Every woman is into shit like that, you're not special.
>>32019882 (me)and maybe this discussion itself has the same problem, where women wouldn't want to endorse this kind of idea or truth because if it became mainstream, it would ruin women's experience. Basically if men were to act forceful, it would have to be by their own accord and not by idea agreed by women. Basically men like to rape (even though not it's not socially acceptable and most wouldn't admit it) and women secretly like being raped to some degree. I don't know, as a man I'm just inferring but that's my overall conclusion.
>>32019336
>>32019336>>I want a man who will choke me, bite me, tie me up and cut me, and maybe play with my blood a little bit while I'm cryingyou're deranged. Go see a therapist. You have serious mental health issues
>>32019662Maybe. Being purchased and kept sounds fun. >>32019674>What you could do is see if you have a local kink/BDSM scene.And now I'm going to sound snooty, but the whole fuzzy cuffs dom mommy/daddy thing would simply make me laugh. I can't take it seriously, nor could I enjoy it, because it's just roleplaying. It's like adult LARP. Even the costumes are silly. I understand why stuff like that exists and the market it caters to, but it isn't for me. The problem remains that it would be a game or like a theme park ride, and not real. The "kink" for me, if such a thing even exists, is the total removal of choice, and feeling as though under some kind of threat that cannot be evaded, only resigned to/accepted. Going to a club like that is a conscious decision, the same as eating junk food, and aside from people watching and being curious I wouldn't get much out of it. >>32019882>Doesn't the presence of a safe word dilute the experience, turning it into a kind of fake game? Yes. In an ideal world, a guy would know how to push it to the limit without going over and putting me in the ER. I'm also going to say something mildly controversial in that I think most guys are actually inherently good, which is why a few drinks at a bar followed by missionary sex is enough for them. And that's fine. I'm happy for those women who are okay with that and wish I could be that way too, but I'm not. My fantasy would be getting forcibly bled until almost unconscious and then getting fucked. I wish vampires were real. >>32020077>You have serious mental health issuesI'm aware. I admitted that already. >>32019989That's not true. Most women want a wealthy tall attractive man who likes them for no reason and who buys them things.
>>32019336>one which even men aren't into.https://youtu.be/nQYH1jEsjL0
>>32019518>None of my close girlfriends were into that to the extreme I am. Tied wrists and light spanking was about as rough as they wanted.All they were willing to admit that they wanted.
Rape can be extremely traumatic.
>>32020205>That's not true.NTA but it absolutely is true.
>>32020554I don't think anyone ever claimed it was therapeutic. I wasn't endorsing rape. I was expressing something I know is wrong with me and trying to figure out what to do.>>32020575My best friend told me her big fantasy was to get tied up and have a threesome. That's basically vanilla. I think you overestimate us greatly.
>>32020663>My best friend told medo you literally only have one friend? what makes you think you are a good judge of what women want? you seem to have two data points.
>>32020686Okay dude, you're a man, so where do you get your information?
>>32019385blud thought this was a way for him to shoot his shot ROFL trying to pick up chicks on the 'chan bro is COOKED
>>32019385>Since I was a kid I had violent sexual urges and fantasies.
>>32019842I say that.
>>32019681>Rape fantasies are common and my overall assessment is that it's in human nature for men to often want to "take" women without consent and for women to like to be "taken" without it being their choice (like you said, asking ruins the fun).Unfortunately true. It's how we're wired. I think the breakdown on this though is that most women want to be "taken" by your average Fifty Shades of Grey antagonist, ie: a man who doesn't exist, and don't really envision Pablo the local fentanyl dealer doing it, even though that's precisely who would. The ideal for me would be a guy who was on the surface normal, who I could present to friends and family without any flags being raised, and yet was an absolute demon behind closed doors and makes it known I'm not in control, and prey to his varied appetites. >I've always wondered what women think about the forcing dynamicI'm not into deepthroat stuff precisely because of that potential to get sick. Gag reflex is a thing, and I will absolutely pull away if I feel it happening to avoid disasters. Other than that, being taken by force is great. It doesn't happen enough. There's nothing more dreadfully boring than being asked for sex. I want to hurt afterward and have marks.
>>32021655My last gf would say this kind of shit and then shoot me down when i tried it everytime with hard no. It was very humiliating and it made me very angry. She would ask for it give signs and then shout me down. Leading to a long talk about sex and our communication. It made me feel weak and shitty. I hope not all women do that.
>>32019336>I know I shouldn't be this way, but I can't help itHow the fuck has your species survived this fucking long when you can't change fetishes that you know are bad?I change my fetishes if I realise they aren't helping me. It's as easy as simply not getting aroused by the shitty fetish, and focusing instead on a more useful or wholesome one. Why don't you have that ability?
>>32022518Did you ever consider the "no" might have been a lie? Admittedly, a lot of girls don't like being controlled at all and will become intensely angry if you try. It's a popular notion that such behavior is a form of abuse. The best advice I could give men is slowly ease into what you want, and if she says stop, you stop. The map app on your phone won't talk to you when you're on the right route, but it will yell at you immediately if you take the wrong one. Think of women the same way.
>>32022548That's like asking why introverts don't just become extroverts instantly, or why depressed people don't just "stop being sad". You like what you like, anon, and masochistic tendencies are very common. Admittedly, *these* tendencies on the masochistic scale would be far off to one side of the spectrum or another, definitely not, "Tee hee I like ropes and light spanking". I don't even want to mention my theory on where these desires come from, because this board is a trip
>>32019336hey just so you know thats not normal and you should seek professional helpi used to think like you as well but thats not actually what you want you just hate yourself and should probably work on that
>>32023277>hey just so you know thats not normal and you should seek professional helpI know it's not normal. I never thought otherwise. I just don't see the point of talking to someone about it though because what are they really going to say? "Girl, you're fucked up." Or just shovel SSRIs in my face? I'm not depressed, and I'm pretty sure I don't hate myself. I also don't get how every carnal desire has to be defined by self-esteem. And don't get me wrong here, I'm not trying to be mean, but if "loving myself" means missionary sex for the purposes of procreation while evangelical prog rock plays in the background, then I'm fine staying how I am. The only jarring thing for me was finding out other women aren't really as deep into the masochism hole as I am, but I figure I can lie and keep a lid on it.
>>32023232Of course i did. One time it looked painfull for her and i kept going. She literally went dry rolled over and started crying. Then later told me she knew i wasn't the dominant type. Its like she actually wanted to be raped. Which i really have no desire to do. I think my next relationship im gonna hold off on the sex for a while.The map app example is a good one, its just i feel like there is huge pressure on me to be very dominant in bed. She said that wasn't the case, but lo and behold she was rarely satisfied. Probably a good chance that we just werent compatable.
>>32023723>Probably a good chance that we just werent compatable.In that case, yes. If she wanted to just be utterly destroyed by you and if that kind of thing freaks you out, then there's no middle ground to be had. So getting out of that relationship was probably the best long-term decision, since the incompatibility would spiral into other things. Bed death is relationship death imho. I actually do feel kind of bad for men as a girl, because I think there is this expectation that you're supposed to be a mind reader and know instinctively what everyone wants, and that's obviously unfair. Just keep in mind though there is a door there for you all to explore far more than you think you're allowed to, if you want to. You simply need to be receptive to a possible "no". Most girls are going to like a dominant man, even if they don't say it. But there will be a spectrum. So your girl was probably more on the far end of that spectrum where I am. Maybe not the "I like a knife at my throat" variety, but out there.
>>32023853Thanks for being honest. I just don't know if i can find a girl these days that didn't have these requirements. I can only do my best to be the middle ground between going to far and not going far enough. Shit is hard
>>32019336that's hot. i want to do this to a chick too, just exert myself onto her, push her onto the bed facing me, pin both her hands and her body down with my full strength and weight while she struggles and begs me not to do it, and just have my way with her. and as she sobs a little after im done, i remind her while light kissing her that ill keep her safe, and that she's mine and mine alone nowsucks though because ill get my life ruined with a rape case if i so much as even try something like this with a normal girl, even more so if i dont actually know her. kind of funny that i developed a full blown fetish for complete domination and heavy (c)nc love, while i've generally portrayed myself to the world as a sexually awkward guy who feels embarrassed at inappropriate jokes and flirtatious banter haha.....this post made me pop a boner and you should take responsibility for it
>>32024167also forced, choking and biting is nothing much but blood play is nasty fucking business. get checked immediately
my last gf really tried hard to get me to do rape play, fuck off, this shit is retarded. retarded perverts
>>32024185>even the rapeplay guys think you're weirdIt's over
>>32024470because i don't know if you're just talking about just breaking skin and being REALLY into getting hickeyed and scratched, or just straight up goreplay and bloodfest. but it definitely sounds like you're leaning into the latteralso the risk of a rape case for going too far heavily outweighs the potential pleasure of forcing oneself onto someone else in most places even if you have the looks and charm (unless you're the child of a rich mogul in a middle-eastern country) so good fucking luck finding someone that meets your requirements lmfao
>>32019882i think it works better if you have a universal safe word for whenever instead of making one every timeif you're planning it each time it's not as spontaneous and hot? if you have a universal one you can still do it whenever but have that safety thereidk man i don't have sex
My gf wants me to do stuff like this, pretend to rape her and hit her so it leaves bruises and even cut her with blades. I'm not against the idea, actually I think I'd like it, but would I be retarded to go along with this? Do I need to film her giving consent first or something?
>>32024470>chokenormal>bitea bit unusual but a cute and freshly showered girl would definitely be bitable>tie me uppretty much normal>playing with bloodweird and I don't want to do it, but having this fetish is kinda cute (I can fix her)>while I'm cryingevery man loves to coddle a crying girl, regardless of whether the crying was caused by the man or something else
>>32019336I hate you whore. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. stinky brapper whore that enjoys getting beaten to death. Why?
>>32024725>also the risk of a rape case for going too far heavily outweighs the potential pleasure of forcing oneself onto someone else in most places even if you have the looks and charm (unless you're the child of a rich mogul in a middle-eastern country) so good fucking luck finding someone that meets your requirements lmfaoSo is this the reason why European women support importing savage men from Middle East and Africa?
>>32024725>because i don't know if you're just talking about just breaking skin and being REALLY into getting hickeyed and scratched, or just straight up goreplay and bloodfest. but it definitely sounds like you're leaning into the latterYes.>>32024795It's not a bad idea to get a consent video, but keep in mind it might not hold up in court (assuming it comes to that). It's better to just not, unless you both implicitly trust each other and won't do anything insane. Keep in mind you might end up marrying this girl, and you'll have to go to your wedding day knowing you put scars on her. Think of that when you're kissing her parents. >>32024985>weird and I don't want to do it, but having this fetish is kinda cute (I can fix her)I masturbated to my own car crash. I was in a bad wreck when I was 16 because a drunk driver hit my side panel. I almost didn't make it. I was in the hospital for a while coughing up blood and had to go to rehab to learn to walk properly again. I distinctly remember being zonked out of my mind on drugs and the male nurse picking glass out of my scalp while I sucked on cold oxygen, half-aware. Pretty much the night I got home I made myself come to the pain I was in. Trust me, you can't fix me. I'm what the japs would call a "landmine girl".
>>32019336>>I want a man who will choke me, bite me, tie me up and cut me, and maybe play with my blood a little bit while I'm cryinghot
>>32019336I was molested and beaten as a kid with an electrical cord quite a bit. I remember from a young age enjoying anything with kidnapping/ pain with any sexual overtones even before I knew what sex was. Power is hot. Read alot of nietzsche, the GOR books, (you should read them femanon youd like them.) Point being, I think fetishes are a reflection of yourself in a sense, for me its power and a desire to be worshipped. Because as sadistic as I am, I want my partner to be crying and sobbing and then be affectionate once iv had my fill of being cruel, forgiving them and being kind. I dont think you can change your sexuality. You can just realize, was it trauma that made these kinks, or are they a reflection of an innerself? Other than that, its just making sure you do them in a healthy manner. Trust me theres plenty of us out there who like this sort of thing. >>32026118>masturbated to her own car crash.Holy shit you are a freak, thats hot as fuck. For guys, often the pleasure in these things, is it allows us to unleash ourselves freely, its total freedom, no holding back. Feeling the squiriming as our partner writhes in pain, is liberating. The worship as we comfort them after, intoxicating.You should add me: desadereborn
>>32026118You should play Alice in Cradle
Wired differently. I had a very tame upbringing and all of this is very much up my alley. The rough sex, outright rape, pain, and blood is plain hot. Having indulged in it before, it's an itch that begs to be scratched but the associated risk is not worth it for me. There are other aspects of my life that I enjoy equally as much and that could be jeopardized if the person I was doing this with had a sudden change of heart. The shortsighted lowlifes with no ability to think through consequences will probably jump at the first opportunity. I instead fuck off to my ranch and enjoy living far from people, travelling, and having fun without ever getting too involved with anyone. Am I missing out? Yup. Is someone else missing out? Yes. Too bad, the risk isn't worth it.
>>32019385This nigga bruh oh muh lorr
>>32019336pretty common kink desudon't feel bad about it, just understand most men won't be into it and most that are into it are for the wrong reasons.
>>32027887>>32027800As a man I believe most men would be into it if they weren't educated out of it by society. For many, the desire is still there, but it's just not worth the risk trying to pursue. It was only possible when criminal justice system didn't give women so much power. Which has its advantages and disadvantages.
enjoy it while it lastsi am so depressed I can't even get horny anymore
