I am wasting so much time. I realized I have horrible defense mechanisms of avoiding anything that makes me uncomfortable. I have 0 sense of my sexuality and I cant open up to anyone. I am a terrible friend to the few that I have. Any advice or helpful stories from people with similar issues is appreciated thanks
>>32322322Try to really really hate people. Like really feel nothing but hate for everyone you interact with. You will find you no longer act awkward around people because you no longer feel any respect for them nor embarassment from their judgement. They wouldn't blink twice if you were dead in a gutter, so why should you give a fuck what they think? It worked for me during covid. Cant work on family members or close frirnds though because you'll feel sick inside
>>32322322Understand something about reality: Nothing happens in a vacuum. Everything has its cause. AvPD doesn’t just show up out of nowhere for no reason, it has its root causes. That means you gotta remember the very first thing(s) you avoided. The first times you ran to your room to hide and stare at walls. What were they? Focus on what those were and realise the cyclical behavioural pattern it created. Then notice that same cycle has been on repeat and has been re-running over and over and over and over until today. If you try to look for the source of the problem in the present here-and-now, you’ll find nothing. If you try to foresee it in the future, you’ll still be way off. But if you go backwards instead of forwards – back to the past, to your upbringing, it’s there you’ll find the scene of the crash, the ground zero of AvPD. That is where that invisible dragon as sleeping and that’s where you’ll have to take your mind in order to slay the thing.
>>32322360NTA but the source of my AvPD was SNAFUs and backstabbings by childhood friends
