>>32328038
Here again..

Went on two walks. May go to a free movie drop-in tomorrow.

>>32328043
I need a job

spent some time outside to handle some business, it was pretty nice.

>>32328044
me too.. badly

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Hey resident GIOYC man hater, do you work at Duolingo?

i am not enough for her

Gay people and women supporting Palestine is like a black man supporting the KKK. Gays are routinely murdered by palestinians in the west bank and gaza all the time. Supporting a group of people that would literally kill you because of who you are is the dumbest fucking shit in the world. It's not much better for women. Palestine supports sharia law (or something quite similar, it's not exact) which basically makes women property. They can't get an education, they have no reproductive rights, they are married off as children, and they are unable to work but the most trivial of jobs. Only 15% of the workforce in Gaza is female. Oh, and over 60% of women have reported being beaten by their spouses. I told this to some woman on twitter and she replied with 'well some arab states are like that." and I told her that those numbers were specific to palestinians and she blocked me.

These people are absolutely delusional. They act like Palestinians are these freedom fighters but they are islamic extremists that supported 9/11, protested FOR the charlie hebdo attacks, tried to genocide christrians in Lebanon, received funds from Al Qaeda, and the vast majority of them supported the oct7th attacks. Hamas has said outright that they wanted to genocide jews and have been trying to do so for nearly 20 years now. They are just the shittiest fucking people.

I've been musing about murdering my cheating ex-girlfriend. I just want to take a piece of wire and choke her until her face turns blue. I want to physically hurt her so badly, but I know that I'll go to prison. I tried so hard to make things work.

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I will never know who she was, if she truly was a narcissist or just looked like one, if she truly liked me (she didn't) or just saw me as some prize (didn't know I was adhd savant)

It ended before it started. She reminded me of my mother and brothers, and I thought I could've saved it because my family loves me (and so did she), but her interest in me was not big enough to give me time of day. I could not save it. I failed and now it feels like a part of me, the part that was able to win my family over, has died. What I knew to be true I am insecure about. I need to surround myself with my family for the next months in order to recover. Very disorienting but it is time I let go (been half a year)

Narcissistic abuse is not fun but it's even worse if you have a history with it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A99xg_kGGTg

>>32328038
Feel kind of guilty that I enjoy the new found attention I'm getting from becoming more attractive (finally got fit and don't dress or act like a recluse anymore). I have a wife and don't plan on cheating but it does suck that I didn't get to enjoy this newfound privilege sooner. Oh well

Also kind of glad that I can just spend the holidays with my wife and our dog since we decided to take a break from visiting the families (we're saving up for a couple of trips and a few big purchases next year).

Have been out of work for 2 months now and have nothing to do except work at a local centre about once a week
I feel empty, even though I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want at home

>>32328641
There's lots of fit people with the privilege of being able to fuck around, but only you got your wife. Enjoy your holidays

I wonder if she thinks about both of her feet around the base of my cock...

>>32328038
DDLG is kinda hot if you don't include the weird pacifier and diaper shit. Realistically I just want a girl to talk to me in a cutesy voice. Either that or about how she'll let me plow her daughters.

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I can't take it anymore. I'm not going to do any of this anymore.
I'm so sick of being tortured everyday

>>32328899
What tortures you?

>>32328984
My ex. I finally removed her after feeling like shit trying to pretend I didn't still have feelings for her for so long.

https://youtu.be/TxaHB60jIBU

they keep telling me and stupid and wrong :""""( nooooooo noooo nooooo

>>32328038
My roommates are high sitting in the common room. Black girl said “fuck you whitey”, and her white friend goes “hey, I’m white too”. Kek

>>32329320
It’s just embarrassing if you put up with that shit. Black girl was schizo ranting about the kkk earlier, fucking hilarious

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>>32329197
Removing her from your social media is a big step towards severing the bonds of relationship which still exist between the two of you.

They don't teach you this in school, but relationships don't end on the word; it's a hard lesson to learn. But you're figuring it out just fine on your own. And while there will surely be more pain ahead, you are severing the bonds of your relationship with her in a way which will allow them to truly heal. Once healed, you'll be able to bond deeply with another as you did before, but that can only happen so long as you the bonds between the two of you remain severed.

We can only relate deeply with a handful of people in a single lifetime, and with lovers it's even slimmer than that. To bond deeply with another, while the bonds of a dying relationship still remain, inevitably saps some of the energy away from your budding relationship and diverts it towards a vestigial one. Now it's not wrong to do this, but understand that if these bonds are not kept almost entirely severed then your life energy will be diverted towards innervating something that only takes and never gives, something which could drain you right down to the last drop if you let it.

>>32328038
I AM SO FUCKKINGG DONE

I think I am an emotional masochist. I am motivated by things that humiliate me, I am motivated by feelings of fear, doom, betrayal, and misery. I hate when people casually put me down, but at the same time I love it because it's the only time I ever have a fire inside me. I really want a woman to get close to me and show me love then cheat on me and degrade me, the feeling of having something so wonderful in my grasp then having it suddenly ripped away from me brings me catharsis. I feel absolutely unworthy of love, and when people hurt me it's like confirming my beliefs about myself.

>>32329380
I’ve heard them talking about me all day, and conspiring whether I’m a snitch or not

I just asked the one girl to go on a walk. Earlier, I went out and looked at the chore schedule, and she gave me a look. Then she says “let’s go” to her friend, and they talked about me

>>32329429
The solution to “snitches” is to stop discussing your private matters so openly in the common area. Fucking retards.

I keep to myself

I’m not asking for advice at all. I just need to get this off my chest. I broke up with a girl I’d been with for just about 10 years, we’ll call her Lauren, maybe about 7 years ago. I’m married to someone I love. I wasn’t a particularly good partner to Lauren and she found another partner that she was very happy with. I consider him a better partner to her than I ever was. A couple of weeks ago he succumbed to a rare form of cancer. Nothing to do with his lifestyle, just a dice roll. Same age as me. How the fuck is that fair? I don’t know, just the hand we’re dealt I guess.
I’m overwrought with sadness about this; not because he was a friend of mine, though that’s obviously a part of it, but because of the pain Lauren has gone through as a result while in compassion after our separation I’ve ended up with a retardedly successful life. I don’t need to anymore, my wife is incredible and we live a very happy life togethers.
But I was a cunt in that life, how is it that the most moral, focused, dedicated person I’ve even known ends up with that?!
I’ve often had idle suicide thoughts but after the passing of my friend they’re starting to manifest in very real ways.
I’m sorry Lauren

>>32329440
I am starting to sound like one of them
Just tired

The nice girl I've been getting along with very well has world views that are not necessarily opposed to mine, but very incompatible with mine. I'm not quite sure if she has noticed or it's as much a problem in her eyes as in mine, but I feel like we would never work out together and it would make neither of us happy.
The disappointment hasn't fully hit yet, but I know it will soon. This shit fucking sucks, man.

>>32329440
>tripfag
>woman
>gossiping like it’s her persona blog
Typical

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I have to finally face the fact that life's full of ups and downs and go on the rollercoaster of life.

>>32329540
Yeah, fuck you too

>>32329549
Least I’m not an attention whore

>>32328038
FFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKEEEEVVVVEEEERRRRYYYYOOOONNNEE

>>32329555
HAAAHHHAAA I don’t give a fuccckkk. I don’t have ANYTHING to lose. I just want to spit on everyone’s faces, fucking hate you demons. I GET BULLIED FOR NO FUCKING REASON. I HAVENT DONE A DAMN THING TO DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT. ALL MY FUCKING LIFE. IT FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE I GO. Every time I go outside, get laughed and stared at. Fucking hate you fucking bastards

I don't think I'll ever be fine again. I'm in a constant loop of depression and anxiety. I take antidepressants to deal with anxiety so I can function properly, but then I feel dead inside and nothing brings me joy, just negative emotion. Tried getting off of antidepressants but then anxiety got unbearable and I just couldn't do it so went back on them.

I thought I was depressed because I didn't have a job and I was right to some extent, because a job gave me some confidence in myself and a reason to get up and I don't actually hate my job, but I hate the fact I have get up and do "something" now. When I'm off sick for a prolonged period of time I finally feel "free", like I have nothing to worry about, but then I feel useless and depression goes back up. Then I go to work and I'm anxious because I'm around people and mostly people I don't like.

I just wish I was normal, one of those people that can talk to anybody about anything, that doesn't wrestle with themselves about being around people and that I could actually get things done in the real world. Its not that I hate people, but most people are just not for me, so basic, so stereotypical that it hurts and I have 0 in common with them and talking to them feels like pulling teeth. Only met a few people I actually feel comfortable around but thats very rare and that makes being around people so hard. I feel like the only "cure" for me is to somehow remove 90% of people out of my life and only have the normal ones around but thats not gonna happen. Other solution is to conform to what everyone else is but that won't happen, I just have no interest in it. Theres just no way out.

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>>32329600

>>32329630
i felt like this too for a bit, then i realised its cuz im lonely and friendless and was doing nothing with my free time but rotting. unironically, just get some hobbies or if you’re able to then try making friends or something. just anything fun to distract you and beneficial

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I would kill a man just to bust a nut in lauren. She's so tiny, she was made to be a fucktoy.

>>32328038
Lol

Guy from "I live for Work" that appeared on a past thread, what I want to say now is that I wish that this black chick that appeared on today wet dream could be real, she was so lovelly and caring, but it only happen on a sporadic dream, never on real life...

>>32329732
I just wanted a friend
It hurts to be teased by people in a far worse situation than you are. I am just kinda sick of it. I know it’s immature, but I really can’t deal with the slamming doors at night, and the coldness I get from strangers

>>32329771
My life serves no purpose
I am deeply unfulfilled, bitter, and miserable

>>32329721
JUSTIN LONG of all people got to do just that when she was in her prime. Fucking Justin long of all people.

I know for a fact I would make a better boyfriend/fuck than justin long could ever be.

>>32329793
Crazy mean crazy people on the street
Mean crazy mean half the people that you meet
You can't love 'em you can't trust 'em, you can't take 'em anywhere
You can't hold 'em you can't tell 'em that you ever really care
Tell me where will I go when I cannot go to you
Where I don't know when you go I'm going too, mama
Mama, mama, mama, mama, help me
Mama, mama, mama, tell me what to do

>>32329817
Edie Brickell is underrated. Paul Simon’s puppet

>>32329600
>I don’t give a fuck
>proceeds to write a paragraph

I accepted all my ex's problems and shortcomings but she ultimately wouldnt do the same for me. The beginning of the relationship she was insanely in love, but it wore off over time. I actually loved her more over time, and learned to really appreciate who she was, despite the emotional dysregulation, anxiety, self harm etc. I don't understand what happened really. Someone who once loved me so much? What happened? Was it just a good vibe? Is she incapable of a more mature romance? I keep thinking of those early days of falling in love...its hard to imagine feeling like that again, at least for a very long time.

>>32329833
It’s catharsis

>>32329721
>Tiny woman coomer
Zased

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I'm going to focus on what's on this side of the fence from now on.

>>32329600
Not like I’m unaware of why that is, that’s why it affects me so much.

>>32329872
I’m gonna guess you don’t actually have a boyfriend?

Fight the future!

>>32329886
There are no women on the internet.

>>32329886
Oh, my bad. You are probably just calling him a faggot. How insensitive of me.

>>32329912
Oh right I forgot mb

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I'm overwhelmed with all the different types of humans in the world and I hate being stuck in my shitty obsessive thoughts.
It's debilitating.

time to get something to show for it. I'm sick and tired of never having anything to show for it. this is a whole new me now

>>32329886
They tease me because of my robotic walking. I can’t eat in front of anyone either. I’m just an all around fuck up

Never had a boyfriend, but there’s nothing preventing that from happening if that was something I wanted. I just want an irl friend

>>32329985
That’s why I said I know why that is. I know why everyone teases me

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>>32329859
Jenna is only 5ft1in. You could easily pick her up and do all kinds of things. She was built to be tossed around.

>>32329998
Had an online friend, but it didn’t work out
I’d like to hear from L, but I don’t see that happening

>>32329985
So what’s your reason for not wanting it despite your name

Oops. I vomited all over cyber space again.

>>32330014
No worse than pissing in the ocean.
>>32330007
I thought we were friends.

>>32328236
Leling my fucking ass off

if i don't get a stemfag husband NOW there's gonna be a hostage situation

I love to write, but after I read any work of literature, it hits me in the face as to how bad I am at writing. The realization hit me long before adulthood, but the urges to write keep coming
My existence is suffering and I want to off myself. I'm not good at anything else, outlook isn't good, father's getting senile and staking everything into the false hope known as lottery. I look at him and get scared I might be him one day 30 years down the road, except wifeless

>>32330011
>despite your name
My name is my reason. I wish things could be different, but I’ve accepted things as they are. I love my L.

I’m not well enough to be in a relationship. I can’t concern myself with someone else’s emotional wellbeing, when I can’t even look after myself. I have nothing to feel proud of, and so being in a relationship would make me insecure

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>>32330072
I feel the same way.
I really want to tell stories and communicate ideas and have a conversation through my work and conversations.
All I do is get called retarded and piss people off while other people who aren't much different than me get told they have beautiful minds and get jerked off up into heaven.
I just suck though, and I now realize that. It's crushing but what can you do. I'm sure your situation is more coherent and less cringe than mine, so you'll probably make it.

>>32330111
*Have a conversation through my work and paint pictures with my conversations

>>32330111
I think you’ll make out alright (:

>>32328038
Going to sleep. Sorry.

Let them fire me if they want, I don't give a fuck anymore. Its just getting worse and worse there every month. I just can't believe how fucking useless these people are and managers are no better, sure they're friends with those people that do nothing so they allow it. 80% of the staff is related to someone higher up, so they have a guaranteed job and then people like me are the ones who have to do all the work, burn out, take days off and give them a reason to get rid of me. Then they get another idiot to fill in my spot, let him burn out, quit or be fired and get someone new. Its a government job too, its hard to get for people like me but if you're related like those inbred cunts are, then you get a job no problem. One of the women here that does fuck all wanted to get moved to the office, so she did, then she quit because she had "no one to talk to" and got bored even if money was better, so she asked her husband to tell his friend in charge to move her back where she was. Its fucking ridiculous how people like that get a job and I've to overperform to even be considered to stay and we don't even get a fucking contract. Some people work here for 15 years without a contract and they can let them go whenever they want. It sucks because I actually like the job but jesus, nepotism makes this place insufferable to work in. One of the managers is getting in shit with the higher ups because she's telling people to stop fucking around and do some work. Another supervisor was told he was "picking on" some staff because he told them to work and not talk all day. That girl's mother is the main manager too so shes untouchable even if she does 0 work. Fucking laughable. if they fire me my only defense is that I'm a foreigner, but even that won't work unless you're black. This is why all this woke bullshit doesn't work, it just gives lazy people opportunities to exploit the system while everyone else pays the price.

>>32329827
Actually, Edie Brickell was always the mastermind of Paul Simon, and wrote Simon and Garfunkel’s songs in 1964 before she was born

>>32330072
>>32330111
How many times do you guys proofread your work before you publish it?

>>32330086
Maybe you should get edmr therapy. What’s the worst that could happen other then ending up slightly more retarded

I’m still the immature child I was. I haven’t learnt how to cook yet or how the laundry works, I don’t properly help around the house. I wake up at the shittiest time. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. Even if I do it eventually I’ll realise it’s a waste of time. I have been stagnant for the last several months. Afraid to be forced into being an adult. Then I’ll have to learn how to drive and when I do have a car I’ll have to drive everyone wherever they want to go. I’m the useless oldest sibling that does nothing. I need to figure out what is it that I should do so no one bothers saying anything about it again.

>>32330200
>publish
I don't think I'd be dooming here if I were anywhere close to that stage, or confident enough to pour it anywhere

I hate that I'm so emotionally immature.

i fucking hate being ghosted

shes the type of girl to triple text me if i dont answer in 15 min and shes ignored my text for 2 days now

>friend send a funny instagram reel with a kid being cute and funny to her parents
>cry like an idiot after listening her mother call her name
>my ex and I had planned a future and chosen names for our future kids before we broke up
>that was the name
I will never be happy again

Damn bruh, I'm already forgetting being with her even though we lived together for over a year

A, I feel a sense of freedom realizing you never meant a word you said now. It's just a little less hard to deal with every day. I don't get why you were lying until the end, even when you were making big teary confessions, but I think at this point the answer is in the lie itself. There's no greater reason, you're just a liar.

Do I regret acting the way I did? Sure, but I don't think you'll ever understand why I did. I was burning the bridge by acting immature and selfish at that point because I was sick of you. If I'd kept my composure, made the breakup easy, just blocked you when I hung up instead of calling back... there was the chance you'd text me again a couple months later when I had a pang of regret like I always do. Because I made it easy.

But if I acted like a fucking child and screamed on the phone in public, if I called you a pedo to your family, made a huge fucking stink, I knew you'd remember that and never text me again.

Even till the end you were just poking for a response. You made a big speech about how you've hurt people and said you could never talk to me again, so I hung up, and immediately, you texted me complaining about my reaction. You wanted a rise from me and you got it.

You're very narcissistic and I think you're aware. LARPing suits you.

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>>32330779
The art of writing is as much the art of putting word to paper as it is the art of refining that which has been written.

Now, it would seem that you have some ability to sense what's good writing and what isn't, what hits you in the gut and what doesn't, and that's a start. Use that feeling to guide your work, and see what happens. Just don't be afraid to tear apart your original copy, even to pieces if necessary. Sometimes that's exactly what's required to evoke the spirit from your words. And that's exactly what your goal should be with every piece you write: to evoke the spirit.

Unfortunately the spirit can be quite stubborn. It doesn't like to come out of hiding, and when it does it only does so ever so briefly. To get the spirit to reveal itself you'll have to tease it out; it's a lot like kneading bread, composing a song or making love to a woman. Just remember: it's not a race to the finish line. The words must breathe for there to be life in them. When you make love to a woman you don't just rush her to orgasm. Play with her: get her up a bit, and then take just a little bit away before proceeding once again.

Spontaneity is also important for it engenders life, but not too much for it can also take it away. And the same goes with repetition: A gentle rhythm helps things along, but too much repetition and you may as well break out the vibrator. Rest is important for life, but don't rest for too long; for there to be life the words must continue to flow so as not to become stagnant. And like a good song, a good piece of writing shouldn't be all crescendos and high notes. Build up to a climax, but not linearly. Like a proper orgasm, a piece of writing should be a journey of ups and downs, with an element of uncertainty intertwined with ample passion.

But it takes two to evoke the spirit: It takes both a reader and a writer intertwined in an intimate dance, a dance so intimate that the spirit hasn't a choice but to burst forth from their union.

They like when they break my spirit

I met Tania Raymonde at my job tonight. She's the actress that played Cynthia in Malcom in the Middle. She appreciated the help I gave her and I honestly wanted to ask for a photo, but felt like it would have been inappropriate to ask her that when she looked tired and was with her mom.

She was kinda mean to her mom, though. Raised her voice at her and everything.

>>32328038
Why do I fart so much when I take a shit in the bathroom? Please help me, I got a job and doing this in public restrooms is incredibly embarrassing.

>>32331546
Why would anyone shit in a public place?

She proved me right. You really can't trust no bitch. I'm just going to ignore her until she disappears from my life.

I don't take pleasure in breaking anyone's spirit; yours or anyone else's. Nor was that ever my intention.

You see anon, the spirit can also be evoked through conflict: understanding through conflict as I call it. It's an art which I have yet to master, so I'm a bit clumsy with it. Though I'm starting to doubt if such a thing is even possible to master within the limited time frame of a human lifespan. I simply can't garner enough experience, and with each and every conflict being unique, there's no one way to go about it. And conflict wears me out, it also wears out the people with whom I enter into conflict. But I can feel it, I can feel what could happen if our songs were to come into unison, so I can't help but to pursue it when the opportunity presents itself.

You see anon, It's a lot like counterpoint in classical music: the melody and counterpoint are, in a way, in conflict with each other. But though their conflict a union can arise, and from that union so too the spirit. But I don't know how to pull that off reliably. Even the best composers struggled to evoke the spirit from the conflict between their melody and their counterpoint. It's no easy task, and injuries can happen along the way. What I have learned along the way is this: for the spirit to be evoked from conflict, you can't always hold the high ground. In fact, it's necessary for both parties to feel that they have the other on the ropes. Which is why it was necessary to ensure that you had what you needed to bring me to my knees. Only when both sides are confident in their victory can the spirit arise, and both of us were fully confident in our victory.

It was a good fight, anon; it was one of the best. It's something which you and I will take with us to our final day. I harbor no animosity towards you.

I'm feeling a lot better.
I genuinely don't know why I care at all let alone how much I do. It's cringe

shut the fuck up retard

it's amazing what you can accomplish when you cut out social media and other internet distractions.

>>32328038
what the fuck man, i didnt initiate any dates with you for 2 months because of your exam. i gave you space as much as i can but i still miss you and when you reach out to me, i was so happy and then you disappear after i reply. why cant you atleast sent me a "brb" or i will ttyl or someshit like that. Am i that mentally taxing to talk to? god i wish the dec plans work out because i really want to have a mini vacation with you after all this time but maybe we arent on the same page and i know you are stressed about your career and exam but holy shit atleast dont leave me hanging on text for hours on end. i cant read your mind g

close, dubious, muster, boulevard

I keep making awful decisions for myself. I want to improve and be happy but it feels impossible. Everyone looks at me like I'm a freak and it feels like I'm never going to get out of this. The few people that I find compatibility with or enjoy being around end up hurting me... a lot. I wish I could be better. I just want to be free. I've been alive too long to still feel this way.

I stopped listening to music all the time, stop scrolling TikTok and twitter and 4chan and I feel so much more awake and connected to the world and FUCK I'm so lonely I was walking home from work and was so aware of everything and noticed a girl wearing tight yoga pants and I was just mesmerized by her perky butt

i hate gamers and fanbases, I love games but trying to talk to people about them has only brought me pain, it made me hate souls games that I used to love, it also made me hate other franchises.
I just wanted to talk about shit I like, but people get weird and aggressive for no reason.
Had a friend who was like that about music, got really weird and mad that I didn't like the Dave ghrol band, forgot the fucking name, stopped talking to that dude with BLM hit full force and he was talking about killing cops and burning shit.
I'm sick of crazy people.

I already am in a better position than most people of my age.
I have a loving family, I am autonomous and have a car, I have a decently paying job and have pets and hobbies that cheer me up.
Still I feel like all of this is worthless because I'm a lonely and socially inept sack of shit. Don't have many friends and I'm sure I'm not getting a gf in my lifetime, I have already achieved my main goals and have nothing to aspire to.
I can't even kill myself because I would ruin my parents' life.
The thought that this is going to be my life for the next 50 years is eating me alive.

I realized that my humility is just a symptom of fundamentally believing I don't deserve anything instead of true humility coming from gratitude and respect for others and their circumstances

Now I'm sad

>he gets hard from Qualley twerking

>>32331550
Because people need to shit even when in public.

I feel like my boss has been giving me shifts on weekends because I'm one of the few who don't mind working on weekends. But it's giving me a lower pay since the opening hours are shorter.
On the bright side, I can find another job from Mon to Fri but god that's exactly the problem.

My current plan subject to change because ifucking suck is to lay off for a minute, do nothing but listen to asmr for a while and just relax

>>32331319
Was this AI or were you trained on AI?

The puppet in the white home has authorized the shitstorm. Germ any is preparing for war. Still plenty of time to get things escalated into fuckedville. I hope individuals go out of their way to be outspoken against getting wage raped into funding constant death and destruction and emit a vibe that puts fear into war mongers.

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today I will face the terror

Some piece of shit just stole my amazon delivery
hope you enjoy freezer bags and phone protectors, you goddamn dumbass scumbag

hate myself

Really ringin

we're practically a couple, we have intimate conversations, have sex, she calls me baby, and she randomly ghosts me for 3 days then comes back with the excuse "i had no wifi"

i feel like an idiot

>>32331679
did u quit porn?

ive noticed im way more attracted to real life women when ive quit porn for a while

if im "on porn" i usually avoid looking at them its weird

>>32332406
Open up like 15 different ones and play them all at the same time

I've done myself in AGAIN
Why do I have to open my stupid mouth

Really I ought not to do that because suddenly everything becomes about me and that sucks. I should know this by now

>>32332792
Ah the ol anxious/avoidant "situationship"

Try not to be so needy it's ok if you don't hear from her from 3 days

help

I'm so fucking pissed off that I don't have any support system in my life.
>Friends
Straight up ignore me. When they don't, they pity me or act condescending.
>Family
Abusive. They kick me to the curb and tell me to go fuck myself for the hell of it.
>Counselor
Brushes away my problems and can't even pretend to understand why some of the most basic things are so important to me. At a moment's notice she would send me to a nuthouse and get me kicked out of my college and clubs if I said I was fasting for weight concerns or actively get 2 less hours of sleep to get homework done.

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>>32328038
The suicidal thoughts are back, stronger than ever. I'm so tired of everything, I wish I was never born. I won't do shit though, I'll just roll with the punches and keep going through the motions until I delude myself in being happy again. Its all bullshit. I am so alone.

Anticipate, clown, grouch, zookeeper

Was almost 3 hours late to work again today due to oversleeping. Didn't apologize or anything, boss who's a friendly guy only laughed (friendly i think) and said something about getting a bigger/better alarm clock or so. I smiled while staring into space. I've overslept multiple times before, once i came about 6 hours late (each time) twice in one week. Job is very low paid and dead end for me it seems, i'm getting only primitive work after more than a year working there because i have no skills at all and am basically retarded while others work more or less fully independently CNC-Milling after half a year. I guess i was supposed to do that too but they realized i'm a retard. It does not seem my pay will ever rise or my tasks become more demanding. It's kinda comfortable but also humiliating and hopeless. Not sure if i'd like to get fired. I doubt i could get or hold a job anywhere else except minimum wage. I'm 30. Friendless hobbyless KHHV uni dropout, have never went out. I often chuckle when i think about my situation in life and it seems strange that i'm still alive. Didn't post this as a thread because i guess i don't really want advice and am probably not going to actually act on advice. It's likely i won't quit soon if they don't fire me, either, instead being stuck in limbo and going to work (or school when i was younger) then coming home and trying to escape/ignore everything as i've always done. Thoughts or something?

>>32331546
This is why a certain ethnic group has a weird fetish about telling people to eat fiber. Also eat bugs. Generally they're just weird LOL.

>>32331546
That what butt do

Had another meltdown/crying fit at work, this time in front of the new guy who has been here for like a week. I think that's the 5th or 6th at this point. God I hate my life.

It’s taking every bone in my body to not rant/be mad at my ex for realizing how shitty he treated me. I’ll just stay silent though, I don’t want to hurt him even if he’s hurt me in more ways than he realizes. On the flip side, I was able to actually fall asleep last night, but I’m still depressed asf about it

>>32334107
Hahaha damn anon you cried? In front of other people? What a pussy.

The last time I broke down was some months ago over some stupid college quiz(that I ended up passing the class in) to my professor in front of the library… embarrassing, but I like to think that since I shoved my face downwards no one saw

>>32333878
are u a woman or a man.
cant tell from context

>>32333983
what degree did u get? any other job options. surely theres something more. has to be anon

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>>32328038
>genuinely dislike people of any kind
>"repeated exposure will help, bro"
>become normalfag tier in socialising
>read psychology and philosophy to understand people better
>get to know a lot of people personally
>over the years, become only extremely misanthropic as a result
This is ass, how do I just not feel lonely?

>>32334175
>read psychology and philosophy to understand people better
You sound annoying.

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>>32334177
Thanks for the projection, kind stranger.

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im burnt out. i shot way above with the things I thought I could achieve. i have constant brainfog and i can feel my mental capacity steadily declining. the pressure to do things is weighing me down so hard, and i feel stressed. so stressed that im numb. im unmotivated. im so done with everything. my environment is a mess. im a mess. i tried telling myself I should clean up because "i deserve to live and exist in a clean and organised place" but im tired all the time. im so so so tired. others have it worse, i know but id just like to sleep. preferably for a really long time and dream. i have random pains all over my body, heart lung area and constant muscle twiches. i just... i just dont know about anything. i want to completely unwind and not just procrastinate and distract myself with things.

>>32328038
I pray to God that I get put down in a lethal accident, but he doesn't listen.

>>32334150
None. I dropped out after 2 semesters (country is Germany, it was actually a Fachhochschule), then NEETed for some time. I used to want to go back but didn't know what to choose and was afraid of failing and of being older then the others so i never did. Years ago i would have rather died than having to justify myself to and embarrassing myself in front of zoomers. I don't really care about that anymore, but besides not knowing if there's any point anymore going there if you're ancient i've always been stupid and lazy i guess and i feel i've become much more stupid over the years and might now actually be retarded, so it's out of the question. The thought of having to do another apprenticeship at this age does fill me with intense dread though for some reason, so that might also be out of the question.

>>32334186
You said you felt lonely and I told you why

>>32334198
Do you have dozens of piss bottles in your room? Stacks of empty fast food bags? Cans all around your desk?

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>>32334232
Okay, but this didn't explain anything.

>>32334225
well im not sure how it works it germany but there is always time for change anon.
every day is a new opportunity.

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I often have wet dreams about fucking a tranny in the ass doggy style and I always bust right after I slide my cock in his ass. I also had a dream where two men were rubbing their big cocks together.
wtf, I'm actually not gay, I love women with big tits.

Some of us just don't have a single incentive to try in life or to be kind.
It's a thankless task. I've decided I'm going to try anyways.
I think in the end I'll be alone and no one will care, but it's worth a shot.

>>32334309
damn she bad wtf.
trannies are fucking hot.
id tap. not even joking bros.
idc if it makes me gay or whatever
at least im getting laid
fuck where do i even meet cute trannies

I have lost twenty pounds shitting my guts out in the last month. I guess I found my diet plan.

>>32333823
What?

>>32332359
Suggest a shift differential. It is often good for business to to motivate workers with an extra buck an hour for unpopular hours.

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>>32334355
most are not. there are escorts, here they are like 40/50€ but I don't want to fuck one, it's disgusting. I don't know why I dream about fucking them up the ass.

>>32334393
damn must be nice.
i would totally pay to get head from a trans girl if i was not in the usa
shit id be having threesomes every night
at that price

>>32334417
bro, you're fucking a dude up his ass hole, filled with turds. that nigga is going to moan in a manly manner. Shit is dismal

It feels good to come on this board and see how many men are incels who have given up and have no idea how to talk to women. The competition is so absurdly weak. American men are majority incels, soys or brown guys. What amazing luck

>>32334474
ur on 4chan no shit its full of incels and dork nerds u weirdo autist.

>>32334445
Honestly, that is fine. But still, I would get a bj from two cute trans girls if I lived in asia or something. 50 dollars is fucking nice. Hate being american

I think I'm ready to be honest, even if the truth will hurt.

>>32334360
bro pass me the method

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>look up ex from years ago who I was madly in love with and had a bad breakup with
>she's trooned out and thinks she's non-binary now

Must have been the pineapple banana pepper pizza that crossed the line on the gross meter

>>32334644
Do u tell lies to feel comfortable, anon? How badly do u think your lies have hurt others?

Just wondering

Honestly, I think that ghosting you was the best option because everything I wanted to get off my chest would've probably made you kill yourself.

I will never give up on you
I know I'm a pitiful mess right now but I will pull myself together and I will come back for you
I don't care how big the distance between us might seem, I will always find a way back to you
This is a lifelong promise

>>32334982
I never lied, I just withheld the whole truth to spare their feelings, but it cost me my mental health. I 'm unsure of their reaction.

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That one time 4chan looked like this less than two years ago. Two screenshots combined to put it together in accurate representation. U probably don’t believe it. I’m content with your disbelief and delusion. Just think it’s interesting.

>>32335114
thats not creepy or unsettling or anything like that

>>32335127
U can still be honest while keeping a secret if u know how to speak correctly. Keeping secrets from people who deserve clarity can be quite damaging sometimes. Hope it all works out. If they can’t handle truth then that part is not your fault.

>>32335127
>>32335146
However the damage done because u let a secret that concerns them fester absolutely is your fault. Best to not let things fester.

Heebies and/or Jeebies

>>32328038
I randomly had a thought about how I can describe exactly why I don't feel any shame regarding my hebophilia.

It's like being sexually attracted to Michelle Obama.
I have zero intent to ever act on it.
And being alone in a room with her wouldn't change anything. I still wouldn't have any idea of engaging with that desire. There's nothing to do be done so I wouldn't act. It's a non-issue.

>>32335137
I don't care how others perceive me, I have already made peace with the fact that most people think I'm a delusional lunatic. I'm following my heart and doing what makes sense to me, others' opinions be damned.

>>32335146
>>32335149
I'll think on that, thanks.

Phone in bathroom because current circumstance

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Instead of working on something meaningful I am watching an OVA that kinda sucks. Been feeling down lately.

i'd gladly be a human NPC if it meant i could have a loving wife, kids and get to throw the football around on the weekends. but im not even at NPC level. im like a scuffed, glitched out character that no one understands or could admire, much less love or desire.

my ex cheated on me which ended the relationship but I probably took her for granted and was autistically honest with her about her faults and shortcomings. Did I deserve it?

Hallowed be my name
Hollowed be my heart
On the heights of despair
Where is my depth
Which penetrates
ever deeper
to the bottom of the pit

NOBODY PICKED UP THE CONVERSION PROJECT FOR THIS APP FOR ALMOST 2 SPRINTS, I PICKED IT UP BECAUSE I WANTED TO TRY AND GET IT DONE, NOW IT'S TAKING ME OVER A MONTH AND I'M THE ASSHOLE EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WANTS TO HELP ME, FUCK YOU ROBB YOU COCKSUCKING MONKEY ASS BITCH. THREATEN MY WFH? GOOD LUCK KEK, 1 PERSONS RETIRING IN 2 MONTHS AND ANOTHER HAS HIS 0 DAY NOTICE IN DRAFT, WHICH LEAVES YOU WITH JUST ME STUPID BITCH. HAVE FUN RUNNIN THE SHOW SOLO IF YOU WANNA DO THIS SHIT

i miss you but at the same time just wish I could forget you existed. I want to talk but also know I have nothing to say anymore.

>>32335340
I feel this so much

If anyone wants to start WWiii by nuking my phone so the image gallery is eraticated, that would be great.

jingle bell time
>is a swell time
to rock the night away

>>32334175
Psychology is a psudoscience and all of the people that believe in it should be culled.

what if my next girlfriend doesnt get my sense of humor like my ex did? she wont find the same movies funny? I kind of deserve it, since I kind of shit on everything my ex liked. I deserve to be treated horribly

>>32333563

Is that what it is?

i hate the huge contrast from speaking every single day (even if its just "Have a nice day") to straight silence for 3 days

When he asks if I know what he means when he says Mississippi queen, I have to be honest, I don't really have much of an idea of what he actually does mean, and by asking there seems to be this implication that I should know what he means, but I cannot really imagine any sort of euphemism or double meaning he intends to get at and all I'm left with is either a queen from Mississippi or a boat.

I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I've been this way for two years. Please God let me die in my sleep.

I can't let my life go to waste anymore man.

>>32335545
Literally me last night crying in bed and punching my forehead till I see flashes.

>>32328038
I Hate Life!

It's pointless. PPeople and ethnic groups a plently are consistently as neurotic as us Men and many Women. I hate humanity, life in general, and I wish at least I'd be dead so as to not experience this hell we call life. Life isn't fair? Sure, but so it death. That's why we have this thing called suicide. I don't know any solutions to Life other tahn money, and I am too stupid in the most insane of ways to even make above minimum wage, as I find every major or apprenticeship a bore. And I'm fat as fuck, and I'm tire of life sucking every momentary smile. And I wish I could die in some way that nobody could discern I offed myself.

I Hate Life.

i miss you but I have to let you go
life has no meaning anyway
miss you, you probably hate me and i'll never talk to you again but that's okay
every day is so quiet, empty, lonely
it feels like i have no genuine connection to anybody anymore, and i dont trust anybody i know
the happiness i felt in my heart around them i keep trying to chase, but they don't want me
soon i'll feel nothing, it feels like nothing matters anymore

I think it would be neat and fun to record the sound of punching the inside of half a grapefruit as hard as you can and then trying to compress it to get it sounding just really fucking unnecessarily impactful.

>>32335541
You know what he means. You know exactly what he means.

>>32335837
I think I'm just gonna not with this and say less words.

>>32328486
I don't understand why people are so militantly in favor of the "bad guys". I do think Israel dragging this out is bad optics but they're doing it against a culture of people that are inherently opposed to the world's ways and, if they had the power, would exterminate the Jews entirely at once with that power.

If Israel made it thorough and decisive we'd be moving on. Unfortunately, it's a drawn out torment for all parties. Probably to keep Bibi in power.

I'm an asshole

>>32335911
why

>>32335936
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs

>>32335479
then you make her your ex and find someone who will actually get your sense of humor...... retard

People on Youtube who do react channels with a parent are a special kind of pathetic. You don't have a friend or a spouse to do this with? You need your mom to see the Marvel movies?

I rather enjoy penis.

I can literally tell when this girl at work is on her period...
she's usually very sweet, but around the middle of the month she turns into a nagging moody bitch

why do you always fuck me over

why can't i have real friends

i hate living like this

>>32328038
lost $7000 trading crypto futures and screwed my savings

>>32335862
jews are "the good guys" haha ok anon you are a kike shill

>>32336199
They're better than the side that gives their kids C4 clay to play with instead of playdoh.

I just peeked into a general after being gone for like a year. All it is is constant slap fighting and pedophiles. Just people arguing and acting like they’re in a sitcom. I’m trying to get back into a project too, not for them, but what the general is for. What’s the point if nobody cares? Not even the developer cares. He’s too busy jerking off to how smart he thinks he is. I even decided to drop the game entirely because I’m done. Fuck him and people like him.To jerk around for years on end, to waste everyone’s time, is a fucking insult. I don’t want to ruin my work or trash it out of spite, because at the end of the day, I still love it. I still want to finish this one thing. But I don’t see anything at the finish line. Just wasted time.

I wish I could stop having feelings for this girl. we only know each other online and every part of my mind tells me its stupid but it just hurts thinking about her getting hit on by other guys online even though it may just be casual and I'm just overthinking it. on the bright side we're good enough friends to show some vulnerability to each other.
if she's actually taken or just has no interest in dating in general I would only be mad at myself for letting my mind go crazy with this stupid shit.

>>32336248
shut up kike

>>32336288
Not Jewish, fucktard.

>>32335023
lol

It's kind of crazy how little I care about other peoples feelings.......... am I psychotic?

i never get credit for any of the work i do on anything and have nothing to show for it so yeah i'd love to be proven wrong but fuck humanity i hope we all get nuked

See you in a week or something

why did so many of my friends let themselves get turned into literal cucks

>>32336647
yo dog at my work they got these pucks, right, nice round leathery. So they usually come in bags where you can take a poke in to feel the texture a little and maybe give it a sniff and have that sweet rubbery goodness grace your ears once more, for a short while. Well now they come in plastic containers sometimes! Sealed, you know, the ones that are a pain to get open and you gotta get a knife or something? What I'm saying is I like pucks but I get fucked by the cuck box, cucking me from my pucks? What the fuck?

I'm genuinely getting tired of reading how much easy some people have it with women, even here
>just talk with them!!!
I wish I could skin you alive.

wish youd unblock me im sorry but i get it, you actually hate me and i dont blame you

just didnt expect you to go full zach on me even though i told you i was afraid of being abandoned for being mentally ill

oh well

I've left for myself some sizable swigs

'you're mine, i've decided'
you abandoned me just like everybody else lmao

Some of you guys on advice got to dial it back with the aggression towards each other. I get some might feel alone, depressed or angry- but I don’t see what lashing out to strangers is accomplishing.

Going to an advice board to shit on people is like going to a party and not talking to anyone. And I get the irony of writing that here but this is a vent thread.

Would I that love be like the Winter season-
Cold, distant, dark and wrapped in icy sleet-
Yet marked by fire's heat and primal reason?

Or is it Summer's heat so unrelenting-
That burning beats upon one day by day
Until he's sent away with love-repenting?

... 3

I AM A PERSON WITH A PRETTY FACE YET NOBODY WANTS TO BE WITH MEEEE oh wait i reject anyone who is not like the last one I liked FFS

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>>32336837

I can't find the courage to call the doctor
I need the visit so I can improve my life and hopefully find the cause of my problems, yet for some reason, I just can't muster the courage to call him

and now I have a cold

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Talked to a buddy of mine today for the first time in a while. They had my number blocked until they wanted to tell me that they’re going thru similar issues that I have. Tried interrogating me about my cyber footprint too. Not sure how fake they were being.

>>32336837
SHUT UP HOMO

>>32336961
>I AM A PERSON WITH A PRETTY FACE YET NOBODY WANTS TO BE WITH MEEEE
you seem very unstable and mentally ill. those are signs that you are and ugly delusional person.

Pulled his phone out and had tape all over the camera but then started peeling it off around the time they decided to show me cuck pornography. I’m not sure if they had the tape peeled while showing it to me or not. Makes me wonder.

>>32337157
The supposed purpose was to get my opinion whether he was clearly being cucked or not.

>Match with cute girl on dating app
>conversation is good and even though I fuck up a few times she doesn't ghost me
>make plans to meet up tomorrow
>ask for her to confirm she's not a catfish and to do a finger pose I send
>gets offended and starts asking if I doubted her
It's all so tiresome. I envy the gays

Asmr playing full blast from a phone left in an empty shower

Ask me again I'll tell you everything is a okay, but in reality it's been one thing after another. Choking on positivity, as usual, I drown in it even though I just keep trying to shovel the shit thrown at me. Stagnation eats at your soul, I'll keep perching that smile till the toothpicks lose their grip. Pro, mentally I'm getting more balanced, Con, have the ability to pick apart my thoughts one at a time, more time to pull them apart and focus. This is life without bailing out, we smile hard and just fake it.

So are these warning signs?
>Constantly talking with me about stuff. Doesn't agree with me politically. But seems like she is only finding even ground.
>Says shit like "I love you" a lot. Like constant reminders of "I'm glad we're dating" level shit. Even when it's casual convo.
>Told them before I don't like surprises. As in "please don't show up to my place unnanounced" where she suddenly goes "You won't have a say in that" as well as telling me out of nowhere at 5 am that she will grab me for a doctors appointment she may have.
The fuck? What if I am busy at home?
I understand she is worried I haven't found a job but neither have others and acting like me not finding one when I am not in any financial trouble and my living situation is okay. I'm living with family who doesn't mind me being here. If they ask me to do something I do it.
We are both demi, I don't mind having them as a damn good friend but I feel like they are REALLY latching onto this shit to be something it isn't and I'm afraid they are the ones setting themselves up for constant disappointment.

I feel so horrible. I love her so dearly, and every time I see her face I want to guarantee her happiness, but I just don't feel like she's my second half. I feel unfulfilled. I'm scared that my judgement is somehow impaired, I'm scared of ruining a good thing and coming to regret it in the future. I'm scared of leaving her out to dry, of financially and emotionally ruining her. I want to leave, I want to look for women who make me happier, but the thought that I might be the best/worst thing to happen to her terrifies and guilts me too much to do anything about it. I wish I could have felt this way BEFORE or WAY AFTER the death of her grandmother, I wish that she had her own vehicle to drive around if I leave, her own job for pay. I wish she bothered making friends here. I wish that breaking up with her didn't mean leaving her in such a poor spot, away from any and all support. I wish I was dating someone who thought more thoroughly, someone who was more patient. I wish I was dating someone I could talk to in depth the same way I was able to talk to my grandfather, somebody I could talk back and forth with for hours and hours without either of us ever getting bored. I wish I was dating somebody creative like me, who made up worlds in her head. I wish I was dating somebody cleaner, somebody more considerate. I wish I was dating someone who had more of the same interests as me. I wish I appreciated my current girlfriend and her undying loyalty more deeply. I wish I wasn't such an obsessively people-pleasing bastard and a coward. I wish I wish I wish.

i wish i died i my sleep and didnt wake up today

why do i exist? im a worthless unlikable piece of shit

>>32337390
>We are both demi
You are both weirdos and as such you should expect weirdo behavior from her

just woke up and i have nothing to be awake for or care about so i barely stay awake anymore, why bother? back to sleep

i feel purposeless, my plane is nosediving, spiraling towards the ground

elmo is a bbc

The saying that one ought not attribute malice to what can feasibly be attributed to stupidity is actually pretty apt. It's largely true, I'd say, of a time when education was less common and the generally lower amount of what we'd call common knowledge today. But now, in the advent of wikipedia for example, ignorance is absolutely a choice and considering how annoying it is to have to deal with unsocialized, maladapted retards regularly, I consider it to be a form of malice. In fact it's the most commonplace one today and no, I'm not talking about being skeptical of the kind of presuppositions about the world you see at the intersection between popular science and high level scientific research. I'm referring more to the ability to accomplish basic tasks and grasp the kind of baseline knowledge that allows you to more smoothly operate in the world.
Everywhere I look I see autists and atavisms that make the world worse just by breathing and this is something that people would recognize if they weren't shackled to a sense of shame due to having acquiesced to conventional morality to get by easier. Retards driving like shit, people littering, my fucked up neighbours allowing their blocked toilet to overflow periodically and leak into my place all the while letting their atavistic little spawn bound around the place making the walls shake and generally driving me toward madness.
Learn how to socialize, how basic plumbing works, how to generally not be such a fucking nuisance, anons. Because I see a lot of you out here and one day you'll get what you have coming.

>>32336710
dude you don't understand

dyek what it's like to lose some of the best friends you've ever had because they double and triple down on whore investments, causing an unstoppable loss of respect for them?

it's not the same being around them anymore, they're hollow husks of their former selves, servants of their own destruction

>>32328486
Pisslam is cancer but that doesn't mean that the people indoctrinated into it from birth deserve be genocided

>>32337685
Yes. In hindsight it is one I should really took more notice of.

Damn, my office finally recalled us back to the office after 2 months of what I consider to be working paradise. For two months straight we worked from home and everything seemed to go as intended; I never noticed a drop in work quality or any other issues really.
I would sleep right up until 5 minutes before I had to get on. I'd brush my teeth on the toilet while my laptop booted and enjoy some coffee after swishing the toothpaste out of my mouth. I could never have fathomed how good it would be.
But all of it a fleeting taste of what work should look like, at least if you're in an office setting and can reasonably do your work online. This insistence upon being in the office is antiquated, increasingly pointless and even possibly counter-productive as surely I will leave this job if I can't get hybrid weeks going. It's not worth it to have to ride my bike down here to the office and all for what? So you know I'm not jerking off during working hours? Joke's on you, bitches, because just by virtue of having come down here today I've been vexed by you and all the other creature's I'm forced to pretend are actually human beings. No, what I see are a bunch of walking, talking annoyances who exist solely to make everything more difficult than it needs to be. Why do I have to look my stupid faggot coworker in the eye and have to smell his shitty coffee breath and hear his stupid opinion on whatever topic-du-jour has got him feeling like anyone gives a fuck about what he has to say? I can ask him through Slack and we'd all be happier for it.
I don't need work friends or to socialize at work. I have a well-cultivated group of friends who don't piss me off and whose company I truly enjoy. If I need to socialize, I'll go see them. Otherwise man, I don't want to have to even be near any of these fake fucking idiots I have to pretend like I care about. It's all just such nonsense.

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>>32328038
I HAD THE CHANCE TO FUCK RAQUEL'S BIG LATINA BOOTY AND I BLEW IT. SHE GAVE ME DOZENS OF CHANCES AND I LET THEM ALL WHIZZ RIGHT PAST ME BECAUSE OF MY SELF-RIGHTEOUS MORAL BULLSHIT.

NOW SHE'S FAT AND OLD AND WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN OVER 10 YEARS SO IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN

FFFFFUUUU---

Man, 4chan was already so dead this year and the newest change to the captcha seems to have killed it. It's understandable because the new captcha is ridiculous and you'd have to be a fucking idiot to confirm your email on here, but it's still unfortunate.
The internet seems to small these days. Everyone is on the same 5 sites trying their best to be seen in a sea of bots and spammers. I came back to 4chan after about 4 years of having lost interest in browsing, but coming back was amazing only because things hadn't changed much. Maybe that's a bad thing, but it was almost comforting for me. I just couldn't fucking stand browsing reddit at work anymore because it was more socially acceptable. No amount of social acceptability will ever make reading the actually active subs on that site anything but infuriating. People on there are so fucking lame.
But now it seems night has fallen on this site once again and this time it seems like it's for good. Oh well. I can't wait until someone creates a new internet protocol that isn't .onion so I can just get away from all the corporate bullshit, botfarming, social engineering and advertisements.

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>>32338139
4chan was overflowing with shit prior to the captcha change, and it still is to some degree. However, the extended captcha timer and e-mail verification seems to have cut back on some of it. What's missing now, at least in my opinion, is mostly the sludge which once rested at the bottom of the tank. With the sludge no longer as clumpy, it's quickly becoming clear that there wasn't much left in the tank to begin with.

But 4chan isn't really a place for discussion, it's a place to go to be entertained. And so long as entertainment can be derived from it it will continue to live in some form or fashion. The majority of people here are not looking to get into a long-form exchange with some random anon; instead, they're here to feel good, to garner attention and to win. And if they can't win the discussion with a sharp-witted one-liner then they'll find another thread within which they can. Rather than genuine discourse, I find the majority of people on this site are here either to partake in its pornography, to put others down, to annoy people, to roleplay, to garner reactions from reposted content, to test their beliefs against the beliefs of another or to seek out love amongst the fine selection of men and women who regularly peruse this website.

It's a mess; 4chan has always been a mess, but being a mess is apart of its magic. And I really wouldn't have it any other way. Though I do think 4chan has been in need of a break for quite some time. And maybe this break will be a long one, and maybe it is the beginning of the end. We'll see. Though I think a 4chan on the brink of death could actually be a pretty cool place to hang out. By that time the attention seekers would be long gone, having fled to more popular places where they can garner the attention they need to get through life. And this would leave behind the rotten and curmudgeonly oldfags: people who are as dead on the inside as the website through which they interact.

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>>32337802
EVERYBODY START BURDENMAXXING IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Start stealing and become a burden on society. First thing you should do is quit your worthless wagie job. Don't bother applying for benefits, welfare or any other government assistance unless you really can't help yourself. I personally prefer to also GHOSTMAXX, no properties in my name, no hand outs, no benefits, no taxes, just living in the shadows of society and outside of the system as much as I can, but I digress. Simply take everything you need from big corporations, resell it and enjoy life. Hit their jew warehouses and megastores and become an honest reseller. Make sure to post about it and encourage more people to become burdens like you. Once enough people do this, their system collapses. Also always remember how over half the population got vaxxed and sided with the government? make them pay and enjoy it too. This is how you get back at the jews, the governments, the corporations, the normie cattle and everybody else who wronged you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTV2S2OtrfM

There is nothing more that jews and their wagie cattle fear than you anon getting ahead in life, never forget that

I feel like killing myself.

>>32336268
Why are all these guys simping over her online? Is she hot?

I once had a female nutritionist give me a big hug after some talk. we were completely alone in her office and I'm pretty sure she wanted me to fuck her.
but I was too pussy to do anything. that's the story of my life: being a pussy in front of women.
I hope therapy will help me, because otherwise I'll kms. I'm almost 40 and I wasted most of my life because of my fears.
don't be like me anons.

>>32338527
She's cute and is nice to mostly everyone. Me and her became friends due to similar interests and are comfortable with each other to even talk about personal stuff.

The only way to save the world is to make the internet disappear
It's the cancer of humanity

>>32338601
Why don’t you just tell her that you have feelings for her?

>>32338626
Because I know she doesn't see me like that and being states away won't help. And even if best case scenario she's says yes or respectfully rejects me it will just be weird for everyone else around.

time to get some thick skin man time to get humiliated

I noticed some small blood stains on my sheets that appear to be consistent with evidence of bed bugs. I panicked and tore my entire room apart, especially my bedding and mattress, but found no evidence of bed bugs anywhere. No droppings, no carcasses, no nothing. But the blood stains look identical. Surely there would be some carcasses from them being crushed or they would leave some droppings behind somewhere, right? My sheets are white, so I don't think I'd be able to miss them. What the fuck else could it be? I am losing my fucking mind.

Since I was 8 to 9 I persisted in living of my art as some kind of comic book artist or in the video game industry, mainly doing action centered content, but since I was like 12 to 13, gradually I was losing interest and gravitating into horror themed content, and now, since I was 18 (24 years old nowadays) I'm going full into my biggest passion since my teenage years, doing content centered into gorgeous chicks in sugestive content, nothing catters to me anymore.

(PS: Ain't doing nothing for money, only for artsake)

>>32338809
How small are the bloodstains? Do you have any open cuts or scabs on your arms or legs that could be opening while you sleep and leaking tiny bits of blood? Any history of random nosebleeds or any other leaky orifices? How about your teeth? Do you have bad gingivitis that bleeds regularly when you brush your teeth?

If none of those things are a possibility, it is still looking likely that you have a bed bug issue. They can be very difficult to spot even if you know what to look for and keep in mind that they don't always nest in the bed (though they will always be near) so check any nearby outlets by opening the cover or cracks in the walls/baseboards near your bed, under your end tables. Just make sure you cover every possible area that you can.

If you've done all that, refer to the first part again and if you're absolutely certain that the blood isn't coming from a minor cut or something, maybe try calling an expert to see what they think. Sorry, anon. It's never fun to have to worry about this shit and I wish you luck.

I fucking love porn, I'm so addicted and I hate it but I still love porn. I finally started checking out AI generation of porn. It's kind of fun.

>>32338862
Holy shit, you might be onto something. My skin kind of sucks and gets even worse in the colder weather, I get some small bumps here and there, and when I go from cold outside to warm/hot inside I get a bit itchy and scratch them sometimes. I just noticed some of the bumps were bleeding very slightly that match up to where the blood stains are on my sheets. I guess I didn't notice they were bleeding because I'm usually fully clothed but I sleep without a shirt on. I'm gonna try to resist scratching them for a few days and see if any more of these blood stains on my sheets show up. Great call, thank you. I really hope you're right.

>>32328486
>be shitskin muslim
>sister is proud of going to reddits and spamming fuck Israel like a /pol/tard
>sister is isolating mom from her family. She's mad over not being accepted as a fag by mom.
>brothers are pseudo-man dicks, one loves to "wrestle" aka beat mom. Hate kikes and gave me shit for my one real friend
>Arab "friends" treated me like shit, always ghost me when I ask if we can hang out, and generally do not care about me. They protested to Israel over night.
>the one kike I know is a cool dude
>had a nice conversation with an Israeli over the internet
If God is testing me, then I don't know what the FUCK the test is supposed to even be/what's the correct answer is

I hate my job, I hate my bosses, I hate my stupid fucking neighbours and it seems that everything that could have possibly gone wrong this month did indeed go wrong. Logically I know it not to be true, but sometimes it feels like everyone just decided to do everything they can to piss me off all at once (and some of them probably are, though I don't know why) and so what did I do about it? Aside from dealing with whatever nonsense I could take care of personally, I complained all the while about it to my girlfriend.
Two months ago she had a very similar kind of month which left her miserable and downtrodden; I'll admit to having found it irritating to listen to. But I know this sort of thing happens and sometimes there's only one person who already knows it all and can sympathize without having to backtrack and go over too much detail. In my case, when she complained I tried to let her know I understood and that if she wanted advice she could have mine, but that otherwise I'd just try to keep her company.
Today when I complained about work, my ignorant bosses, the current state of affairs in my living situation and my overall discontent with all the bullshit I've had to deal with recently I was met with a, "Well, life is hard. Suck it up, I guess."
I know she's right, but what kind of heartless ass comment is that? I can tell you how she would have reacted if I had even implied that I felt like she was complaining pointlessly and just had to grin and bear it because I was sick of hearing it (even if I was and I was).
Today I'm going to have sex with her and then break up with her because I'm really just so sick of people in general. It's nothing but take take take with you all and when I ask for a crumb I get shit on in return. Every single time. And I can't even say it out loud.
I really can't wait for another pandemic. Happiest time of my life. A lot of you fucking idiots were dying and I didn't have to see any of you.

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I hate office normies

>>32338640
How do you know she doesn’t see you like that?

>>32338934
Yeah, that sounds like the culprit. Maybe go check again just for peace of mind, but considering what you just told me I can all but guarantee you it's your little itchy bumps getting scratched open and bleeding somewhat. Have you always had that reaction to cold/warm weather? I only ask because I know this isn't an uncommon thing, but do remember that itchy bumps are a hallmark of bed bug infestation as well.
Still, if your history with those kinds of welts predates any concern about bed bugs then I'd just chalk it up to that and maybe go see a dermatologist? Either way, I hope that helped a bit.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZL5Jc5QSL8

>>32339034
most of the times when there was flirting it was just non serious and she made it clear that her life is busy as is and being in a relationship would add more to that. on top of this she said I was like a younger brother to her with there being a three year age gap.

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Keep freaking out about chest pains and the afterlife and nothing I do seems to calm me down. Just got to wait until I get distracted and forget.

I feel like one of those birds who are the last of their species, singing out in a voice no one can understand, all alone.

>>32339117
How old are you, and how old is she? Depending on ages three years isn’t so bad

>>32339160
Me 23 and her 26

I'm in a weird mental situation where I simultaneously believe both that being loved by me is a rare honor that few will ever get to experience, and that I'm unworthy of love and will most likely die alone.

>>32339166
I think you should tell her how you feel. Repressing your feelings for her will only make the situation worse

>>32328038
I gotta be honest with myself:
I broke up with her because I didn't want to be with her anymore. she was not the smart, pretty woman I always wanted to be with.
when we broke up I was still unsure, but what I really wanted is to try other women... once I realized I was the same insecure faggot I've always been and that things wouldn't be as easy as I thought, I started missing her.
I also just didn't trust her much. ever since we started living together, I might have been looking for reasons not to trust her. I'm paranoid by (my psychological) nature. I also was unsure about wanting to buy the land while being with her for legal reasons.
plus I didn't know how to handle her mood changes, the lack of communication and the fact that I couldn't talk to her without making her cry or get mad at me because I didn't know how to be more "diplomatic" with her (or with people in general).

but, limerence is such a weird thing... I still miss her a lot, even though I found a mechanism to avoid talking to my mental image of her.

now I'll try therapy, but I'm not sure it will fix me. I am a broken man and I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I've wasted so much time in my life, and feel so lonely and bad... and I don't know what parts of what happened came from the traumas and insecurities, and which ones came from the "real me".

FML.

>>32339043
Yeah, my skin has been like this for as long as I can remember. My mom has the same issue, but she has a bunch of ointments and creams that she uses to keep it under control. I used to borrow them when I lived with her (this is my first winter away from home, you think I'd take care of myself better at 24 but oh well). I'll still keep an eye on it just in case. Still, thanks a lot for taking the time to reply to me, you helped immensely. I wish you great health and great fortune.

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>>32339135
And yet the bird still sings, almost as if it were attempting to evoke another from the void itself.

he posted a pic of his gf today, absolutely devastating blow to my ego...not sure how i will ever recover from this. i feel like such a cuck. before this all i ever thought about was going back and forth between imagining our life together and trying to convince my self i dont like him and that he sucks and thinking about everything i hate about him making him out to be a monster so i can get over liking him, all this mental energy spent on thinking about him while he's balls deep inside someone else the whole entire time. it's all so humiliating. my chest physically hurts.

worst part, when you have to walk away no matter what, is when your cuck friend's girl starts making moves on you

there's nothing you can do here to make this alright, even if you wake your friend up to the truth (that he's dating a whore and shouldn't put up with it) your friendship is ruined from the jealousy

worse still is when he's into the idea of you banging his girl either in a 3sum or alone

this is why i don't even want to be around friend's significant others

you might go 'oh it's just harmless and appears as flirting, she's faithful' but you haven't been thought what i have, seen what i've seen

life's so hard I just wanna cry :"""""(((((

I'm so weak so weak. it's all too much I'll never make it

>>32328038
Again, no job, no home, my own family is slowly distancing away from me, and soon ice and snow will kick in, forcing me either to go to a shelter, risking freedom and limb, or just thug it out in sub 0C weather. Gosh darn banks are ready to charge-off and sue for my credit card. All in all I owe less than 5K total, but these yike-types would rather claw for money than work with you to retain. Credit score is worse than an illegal, so I can’t do anything financialwise. Real ruckin’ petty on my previous incompetent man-agers to want to save 2K and not pay unemployment by throwing dirt that I wanted to harm people there; ASK ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME: they’ll tell you the opposite; they hurt patients to save bucks and I help people regardless of how they are. Buck the friggin L&I system for not reaching out or giving any bucking contact, but giving me MORE paperwork cause HEY YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK WHILE WE PAY YOUR INJURY TIME LOSS, I DONT CARE IF YOURE HOMELESS RULES ARE RULES. Cucking snort-head car motor keeping me up all night, can’t afford to fully fix it; have to order parts and ask cousin if I’m LUCKY. Crackin’ hearing call didn’t come through; called and got sent to another number for an office that’s closed. The mother henner punks from the state should get fired as I was and see how their system is bucked up. Nothing from any places I applied including waiting lists. Jesus Fucking Christ God Damn my problems. Every day just closer and closer to just not doing anything - I’m so demotivated and disappointed. I thought I wouldn’t have suicidal thoughts, but what the hell. Seriously wish a financial miracle or an angel would at least pull my head from the water because I honestly just want to drown and never deal with life anymore.

Captcha: RX4ANP

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>>32339350
True love waits, anon; true love endures pain; true love doesn't give up until the very last flicker of hope is snuffed out. You know to properly love another, anon; you know how to bond with another so deeply that you lose yourself within them. And that's the real shit woman; very few people are capable of that depth of love. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Now he may have gone off to pluck another, but trust me when I say that there's far more to beauty than outward appearance. The lonely dandelion in the meadow is just as beautiful as the thorny rose. But so easily discarded is it, for it's just a dandelion after all. But that dandelion knows how to love, how to nourish; it heals the body and provides fun and laughter for children. Every aspect of the dandelion can be easily consumed, and it allows itself to be without complaint. But swallow a rose, stem and all, and you'll quickly discover the kind of love which it has to offer. So pretty on the outside, but embrace it too tightly and it'll rip you right open. God help us if every woman were a god damn rose; he'll find that out for himself soon enough. And when he does you'll certainly cross his mind.

As for you anon, you'll be alright. I know it hurts, but in time you'll come out the other side of this; maybe a little worse for wear, but you'll make it out mostly intact. And while you may not be as outwardly beautiful as the rose, understand that you have a beauty all of your own, a beauty which the rose can never attain. So have faith in your nature, anon. Trust it and it too will nourish you.

>>32328038
I need to stop being an audacious prick

>>32339629
Whenever I have a day where I think too many “I think’s” (judgements about the world), I want to shoot myself for being insufferable

>>32339636
It’s a struggle just to observe sometimes

>>32339648
Whoever is playing piano downstairs is killlliiinnnggg it! (:

>>32339636
i started to be like "okay if i'm dwelling on something for too long then i gotta stop its bad for me" when it comes to annoying stuff. it's hard for some things if it's immediately in your presence but it helps for a lot of small stuff that really shouldn't bother you but does.

>>32339486
thank you, this made me feel better. a lot of it is just shame, i feel nothing but shame for even caring. i think i'd care less if it wasn't so rare for me to find someone i like. the worst part is that i dont cross his mind at all. i thought once maybe he liked me a little cause he offered to help me out when i needed it and he seemed to post on instagram when i did and would post similar things which seemed like he wanted my attention but the few times i tried to talk to him about his interests or random stuff he never really continued the conversation so i would just dwell on it all but he just wasn't into me at all and it makes me feel delusional lol i just feel like such a loser right now especially since i spent so much time trying to convince my self that he was the one that was in fact a loser and not worth my time (follows half naked girls, vapes, acts like an asshole) whole time he has a cute young girlfriend that he is probably nothing but sweet too and is not worried about me at all.

>>32328038
none of my friends actually like me and I don't know if it's because I am uninteresting/unfun or I just can't tell when people are acting solely on interest
“if my friends were money, i'd only have counterfeits”

The virgin people pleaser:
Agrees with everything that is upvoted
Agrees that everything that is viewed by everyone is great
Agrees on IMDB, Rottentomatoes, and Meta Critic scores are best
Agrees with figures like Nostalgia Critic and other YouTuber Reviewers
Agrees with Feminists who tell him to chop off his balls
Agrees with Fascism and socialism out of fear of upsetting his liberal friends who really care about him.

Chad loner
Does what he wants and likes what he wants not giving a fuck except just enjoying the real world getting real chicks who like him for him. Gets a Stacey he meets while having a good time with his friends as opposed to the virgin who is still thirsting after a autistic girl who keeps blocking him and humiliating him on Twitter.

I couldn't bear to see that reminder of that pain anymore, I never deleted it since you posted it. It was always there, with the first sentence as a preview. I didn't want to delete it since I didn't want to delete anything from you. It made me sad seeing it pop up on my screen my accident. I know it was years ago, but looking at it hurts. That's why I removed it. I don't know if anything else will happen outside of that, it shouldn't. I don't mean you any ill will from it. I do feel a little better knowing I'll never see that message again. Apparently I got a message saying something did happen, I didn't expect that would happen, at least it's temporary, must have been an automated thing. I still love you deeply with all my heart, and I do want to get married and grow old with you, but I hope you understand. (I typed this up hours ago, couldn't post it before since I got banned here, just if you are wondering when this posts, just wanted to get this out there)

>>32339360
Honor above all else, to the end. Unless they're not really that much your friend and not worth the hassle.

>>32339666
Thanks

I wanted him to be my everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I'm just not strong enough.

>>32339676
The problem with dandelion people is that they tend to bond deeply with those who desire to swallow them whole without hesitation They're drawn to such people, but such people take far more than they should, and in so doing, they can take the life right out of you. From what you've provided in this post it would seem that this man is somewhat of a voracious eater, so I'm not surprised that you bonded with him so deeply. But now he's had his fill of dandelions, they no longer sate him as they once did. And it hurts to be desired so thoroughly only to be shit out and flushed down the toilet not long after.

And when such things happen it's easy to get lost in the game of who's came out the winner and who came out the loser. When the bonds of a relationship begin to fray and split, we feel pain almost as if the bonds were apart of our physical organism; and you're feeling that pain right now. When we feel such pain we can't help but to protect ourselves, and it isn't wrong to protect ourselves from it. The winner/loser game isn't a mere ego game, it's a means of ensuring our survival. Let the pain penetrate too deeply and the marks which it leaves could become indelible. What's happening is that your ego, if you want to call it that, is attempting to protect itself from being severely injured. Psychological trauma can induce physiological trauma, there are plenty of research papers which clearly showcase this phenomenon. Our body does what it can to prevent such an outcome.

>>32339676
>>32339925
But what's to be done? You feel yourself to be the loser through and through. And while you're stewing in your juices he's busy plucking the rose without a care, busy going balls deep in her as he once did with you. A sacred and intimate act which you once shared with him now thoroughly defiled. But worst off all, you know you can't compete with his new lover in the way which would satisfy your ego. To feel as if you are the winner once again you'll have to beat the rose at her own game, your ego won't be satisified with anything less.

Now you can go ahead and try, but I wouldn't recommend it. To do so would be to walk right into a double bind, a no-win game. And such a thing can drive one crazy once you cross the point of no return. Have faith in your nature, it will provide you that which you need to heal from this. But if you can't do that then remember this instead: While it's ok to let your ego protect you from injury, don't let it lead you into a war which can't be won.

Everywhere I got I feel upset that people constantly are obsessed about getting booty-calls, getting high, stealing, shooting guns, and leaving people to die.

On the flip side there are people who are obnoxious, elitist, above it all, unforgiving, and outright smartasses.

Is there a world where none of these two exist? I get irritated by people who just can't play by the rules in a civil and polite way ever. I've never been able to have a real conversation on what I learned in college with anyone in a true manner. It's always "Anon is retarded and doesn't know anything" or "WOW ANON YOU ARE A GENIUS".

My God the way I live my life is extremely discouraging when everything has just been how much of a black person can you be without getting caught.

IT STILL HURTS THE SAME and it is not getting any better. I shold have the guy I was fcking for 2 years just to move on lol

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On the one hand
>Want a sincere, loving woman with a youthful spirit to compliment and assist my cynical bastard nature
On the other
>Want a ruthless, borderline psychopathic woman who is seductive and that I can hatefuck into a shivering mess
I fucking hate my psyche
The real reason I've never married is because my past suicidal ideations and head injuries have me convinced that if my theoretical wife ever cheated on me I would have a psychotic break, kill her, the other man, and then myself in that order.

I wanna see what shawty can do
Put the perc in her butt, make her get loose.

I exist in a self-imposed malaise.

I have two art jobs that don't pay a lot but it's all I'm really good at. Basically the only way to make my bills is to work all the time, but it's unsteady. Extremely seasonal workflow. My boss on one of the jobs recently fucked up a gig we were supposed to work that would have gotten me enough money to be comfortable for the month, so now that's gone. The other job is obnoxious corporate work that pays low but more steadily.

I have several projects I've started and not completed (got a fantasy novel at 40,000 words, several prototype RPGs that I've done a lot of art and writing for). I've got tons of art that I'm pleased with, but it's piling up.

Have had a GF for 2.5 years. She lives like 2 hours away at college, so I visit every other weekend. Her parents are getting divorced and she's going to move several states away with her mother by the summer. She's in college and her mom's a fucking loser who can't hold down normal work, even with like 2 grand monthly alimony, so it's not like she'd be hard up for cash. We're basically on a countdown to the breakup, because I don't think we're gonna succeed as a long distance couple. GF also clearly doesn't believe in my ability to be successful with my projects, and sorta nagged me into shelving them to work more. She doesn't pay for shit. Even the things she promised me she's fallen through on. But we do love each other and she's been faithful (confirmed).

My parents are old lunatics who had a lot of money, very little of which I've seen, who live in my state. They're now considering moving. My sister is a successful doctor, and has been fighting with them over seeing them as abusive now that she has her own kids. I've gotten dragged into this.

I got some roommates to save money. One is a suicidal autist and the other is an ok dude who haphazardly forces catshit down the shower drain sometimes.

I'm worried about the future being a hole I can't overcome.

I hate talking to people because it always seems like it's a net negative.
>arm wrestle with cousins? They do it to beat you and talk shit about you
>uncle invites you over? It's so he can talk about his meme religion
>show coworker weird issue? He talks shit about your example/subtly calls you stupid for it (he acknowledges the issue exists btw)
I realized I have such low self esteem simply because it seems everytime I fucking communicate it's a net loss. Even on the internet I feel like I'm losing when I speak

>>32340746
There are a lot of assholes out there, anon. And when you encounter them it's important to stand your ground, otherwise you'll always end up with the shit end of the stick.

If your cousins are being assholes and talking shit to you then tell them to stop. Tell them they're taking the fun out of the sport. People aren't used to being called out on their bullshit, and it often shocks people when they are; at least the not-so pathological ones. If your Uncle bulldozes you with his religion then tell him you've had enough of it for the time being and change the subject. If your coworker tries to undermine your confidence then stand your ground and tell him you're not stupid for having an issue and seeking help with it and that you would appreciate it if he would keep his put downs to himself.

Many people will try to place you beneath them, oftentimes without them even being aware that they're doing it. But you're learning the game, all you need to do now is to fight back. If you don't fight and assert yourself then these people will just have their way with you.

One last thing: be careful with armwrestling. When you armwrestle assholes you can easily break your arm. Remember to look at your hand at all times and try to keep your shoulder and arm within your body and not outside of it. Competitive armwrestling is also more about back pressure than it is about side pressure. To play it safe, just pull back on their arm as hard as you can and let them wear themselves out on you. If they don't train this tactic alone should be enough to make yourself competitive against them.

Frick i hope i get rich