As the title says. My mom was always nagging, neurotic, overbearing, and domineering. She needed to control every aspect of our lives, to the point where I’m in my 20s and still feel dependent and handicapped. She always imposed her anxieties and worries into her kids, it’s just so draining. She only feels comfortable when I leave the house for school or my part time job. If I leave for any other reason, she seems exasperated. I prefer living in her house over living alone because I don’t have the means to do the latter. She gets mad that I don’t know how to cook and says she wants to teach me, but then refuses to teach me how. Just the other day, my brother who is in his late 20s, said he wanted to take an Uber to his place after a family gathering, and she just flipped out on him. She said “we all arrive here together and we all leave here together.” She just ruined the night with her screaming. That’s how fucked up she is. My grown brother, who has his own place, still has to give my mom control over the most trivial aspects of his life. That’s how deep our fear of her is. I can go on, and I’m willing to give more specific details if asked. I blame my weak father and deranged mother for a lot of the flaws I have now. It feels like I’m dealing with a nagging monster who never dies, and that kills me to say because I do love her (despite hating her) and will cry like a bitch when she dies. However, I’m just at the point where I just want her to shut the fuck up, and stick to doing my meals and laundry. Can anyone else relate? My life is already not perfect and a nagging monster by my side doesn’t help. It’s like she wants to infuse our egos together.
>>32328076tl:drbut the answer is yes
>>32328198And how do you deal with it?
>>32328699sometimes you have to establish boundaries, this isn't always a nice process
>>32328076Oh and I must also mention that I was once going through a depressive episode and I just laid in bed all day and didn’t answer anyone when they called me. And my mom started losing her shit and was pissed that i was acting like this.
yeah, turns out that the majority of women, by their very nature, are extremely harmful to thir children and society turns a blind eye because "hurr womans are nurturing durr". i would say that women with devouring mother complex should be viewed the same way we view fathers who are sexually attracted to/groom their daughtersi just cut contact with my parents as they are both horrible people.
>>32328076Find the thing that triggers her the most and do it repeatedly until she calms down.
>>32328076>but then refuses to teach me how.Youtube. Tiktok. /ck/
>>32328935I think that will make my house more hellish
>>32329101>move outits the only way to break the curse. even if you have to have six roomates and eat raman twice a day
>>32328076> I blame my weak fatherMy wife is like this to my son and i have done everything short of beating the shit out of her to get her off his back and she will freak even worse if I stop her from forcing him to take a shower or asking if he needs to go to the bathroom until he does, telling him he is going to be late for everything and waking him up when he has time, telling him he should charge his phone, making sure he has his water bottle. He’s seventeen fucking years old. I never would have done any of this if I knew he was going to turn my kid into a helpless faggot and worse yet, I go to hard in the opposite direction on all her crazy shit so he ends up fucked all around. I don’t love my mom enough to hate her so, maybe I’m the bigger problem. What do you wish Dad would have done differently? I’ve even taken her phone for being a cunt and she flips out and gets all salty. Her incessant bitching makes not do a lot of things for fear of her bull shit. I would kick her to the curb but that’s his mom.
What does astral projection have to do with this?
rape her.
>>32328076The answer is always move out, sadly. Parents cannot be reasoned with. They are old, they are in their 50s, you think they're gonna fucking change? They might as well be dead.
>>32328076Same OP, i'm an adult but not allowed to make my own decisionsI'm not treated as a person, its like living in a house with a micro-managing control freak boss ordering me about all dayI just have to grin and bear it cause if i don't she'll give me the silent treatment and be passive aggressive its fucking exhausting dealing with someone so emotionally immature>>32329143>even if you have to have six roomates and eat raman twice a daySounds like hell on earthI'd rather just die
>>32328076Not reading all of that but yes. My mom ruined my life, I cut myself, I wanted to commit suicide and I wish she was dead, in fact I wish death very often on those who continually do me wrong.
>>32328076PoV: You have an autistic Mom. This is what living with autists is like OP. They obsess over routine + don’t understand boundaries. So what ends up happening is, they try to control your life to bend to their routines. They freak out when you do anything that they themselves did not plan in their own head. They also say blunt and cold cruel things without fully knowing how what they said fucked the other person considerably.
>>32329295I wish my father had more balls and less naïveté. Not only did not stand up to my mom and assert himself, but he didn’t know anything about female nature. He thought that my mom would behave properly and listen to him unconditionally just because she married him kek. And also, please spend time with your son. >>32331488Sounds like we’re on the same page. How old are you? Do you have a job or go to school?>>32331544Sorry anon >>32331577Autism? I just assumed she was narcissistic and traumatized. Her father died when she was only 18 so she had to “the man of the house.” But you definitely have an interesting perspective.
>>32328076Ofc, TMD everyday.>>32331577Interesting way to put it.
>>32328076I don't hate my mom. She gave me emotional scars and is a selfish person in many ways, but my mom and dad also gave me everything I have. In the Bible we are commanded to honor our parents, and it also tells us to forgive others, even if they are not sorry, and even if we do not want to forgive them. So I do my best to think of that. I also don't live at home anymore which helps.
>>32328076I don't hate my parents, but I don't love them either, and a part of me wishes they died already or completely disappeared from my life in some other way. They aren't bad people, it's just that if they were strangers, I'd have zero reasons to ever talk to them.
>>32331613> he didn’t know anything about female natureHard to know until it is too late. Normal hoes can turn out to be crazy moms.
>>32328076Everyone hates their mother at least sometimes. But one fact is absolute and you had bettter resign yourself to it: She Is Never Going To Change. It is up to you to find ways to deal with her. If you're an adult, you try to limit your exposure to her. Bite your tongue a lot when you want to fight back. Keep reminding yourself that there would be no point in complaining, because she honestly does not realize she's doing it.
>>32332329Thanks anon
>>32332186That’s one of my fears of marriage.
Reposting I'm gonna be 30 next year and I have no idea how to judge my progress so far. When I was 13 my mom got forcibly retired and ever since she stopped acting like a "person". She hasn't worked, hasn't studied, didn't try to either organise or clean the house, never taught anything about life, how to do taxes, how balance finances, how to cook, how to clean, and over time it got to the point where I'd have to force her to take better care of her hygiene. If I wasn't around, her poor financial decisions would have caused her to have lost her apartment, because she'd literally buy food from places that were two times more expensive than a supermarket, because she could order it over the phone instead of shopping personally. She literally ground her femur against her hip bones, losing an inch of bone because she was too proud to use walking aids. If you ever try to talk to her about some stupid decision she made or anything she doesn't like, she'll spend minutes without saying anything and just looking at the ground, and when she does speak, you have to be really careful about her lying.Nowadays things are more stable, but only because every slightly important decision made goes through me, ao she's basically using me to think for her. I haven't been able to finish my education, I have never dated, we live in a relatively poor area in a third world country, despite her having had the opportunity to get a well paying job in the US, I have never been to a party, I have developed health issues because of stress, malnutrition and living next to a highway, and because not a single person has offered help, including her family, who own multiple apartments, I can no longer actually trust anyone and my ability to feel empathy is almost zero.Am I considered a "neet"? I have been trying to learn to draw because I know it's easy to get money from commissions if you play your cards right, but I've been pretty inconsistent due to adhd and never having learned discipline.
I often feel a very strong anger towards both my parents. It's really self-hatred, and this is more obvious with regards to my mom. She is a housewife, but because of my poor life choices and bad relationships to my parents, so many things set me off. I'm 26 and getting asked not to ride my bike out after its dark. ... when i've been riding for 20 + years. I'm not going to shit talk them, because they're better people than I am, but i'm suffocated living here. Almost never had friends over, unless they're out, and I have arrested development, afraid of my own voice, afraid to be a genuine person. Idk the negative emotions I feel, combined, now again, with listening to my brother play wow on discord in the room beside me, all day, every day, with no hint of any other plans, slowly getting worse, I don't even want to be alive. It's too expensive to move out. I've failed my family severely, and now I live in a hell of my own making.
>>32328076Yes. Get your life together until the point you can leave and have stability, and then cut all ties. Accept you'll be stuck with this until then and just try to keep your head down.
>>32328076Yes!!!!I hope that bitch fucking dies. Sister too, who apparently thinks the result of having a mother that has never actually been helpful or trustworthy is something she should manipulate.I hope they fucking die. As god as my witness, I will be fucking glad.
>>32335305with*
>>32328818>turns out that the majority of women, by their very nature, are extremely harmful to thir childrenwtf
>>32328076My mother is neurotic, overbearing, and does this >She always imposed her anxieties and worries into her kids,But I still love her, because I know she's trying her best. That being said, the moment I move out she is getting very, very heavily restricted knowledge of my life. I'm not dealing with >when you leave the house I can't sleep>you can't do X something might happen to you>you're not comfortable with X right? I'm not comfortable with it, so you aren't either, right?for the rest of my life because if I do I might actually start to hate her. 22 and I still have to pretend I don't drink because the thought of me drinking sends her into a panic.
>>32335246>Am I considered a "neet"? I have been trying to learn to draw because I know it's easy to get money from commissions if you play your cards right, but I've been pretty inconsistent due to adhd and never having learned discipline.Fuck online panhandling, get a realistic job or jobs by looking in your local area for anything that will earn you cash. Clean toilets, stack shelves. DO NOT get bogged down in 'my boss is an asshole' type stories and look for chances to get skills or better pay. Set a goal like getting a forklift ticket or something basic and stick at it. My grandmother was less than 40 when I was born, so I'm not talking down to you by saying get the fuck out there you're nearly 30.
>>32335332I hate to say this but I literally can't or would have already. I know enough about pc AND cellphone repair to either repair them or assemble them, the problem comes with my health issues, I'd need something with flexible work hours which isn't a case in the third world shithole I live in. In fact I can't even get the treatment for my problem because they don't sell the medicine here.
>>32335332Also if I make money through the internet the conversion rate would seriously boost my income.
>>32335347are you serious or are you just being a bitch?
>>32335718I literally have been shitting acid every 3 days for the past 7 years, enough to corrode the internal walls and cause internal bleeding. Right now I have stabilised the issue by taking a lot of medicine for acid reflux, but I don't know if the improvement is permanent. And yes I am at risk of having an ulcer because of the acidity.
>>32335746sorry to hear that. Are you on disability support? IBS can be a bitch. Me, personally, I have bad hemmeroids and alcoholism, so when i shit, im there for 30 mins. And then I need 1 or 2 follow ups. I shat 3 times tonight. I am however low BMI, so shitting has actually never interfered with my work to any serious degree. With that in mind, you should look into fixing your gut biome, but idk your health situation. I know you have it within yourself to heal though.
>>32328076skipped to>and stick to doing my meals and laundryfor a hearty laughyeah my mother is a bad person who i dont like in spite of loving her toothats why im very far away from her lmaomove out you fucking loser
>>32335780Do you think a third world shithole has disability support? I still can't believe they don't even sell the medicine that could potentially help me anymore.>alcoholismHere's funny thing, I don't smoke, do pot, drink or do any drugs, I've developed that after my calcium absorption got screwed and I was forced to take 10x the daily limit a person should take.>so shitting has actually never interfered with my work to any serious degree.Yeah that's my actual real issue, whenever I shit it takes 2h per day, cumulative, so if I don't go in 3 days, that's over 6 hours in a single sitting, and fiber is precisely what causes my acidity. Current research says it has something to do with the bacteria that can slightly digest fiber in intestines.It's fucking embarrassing to spend your life shitting so much and it's not the type of disability you can easily share like adhd or autism.What I really want to know is whether I'm to blame for this state when you pair that mother with this condition.
