37M. This is not just another "why nobody fuck me" post.Like, I get it, I already have the answer. Poorer men than me get sex, fatter men than me get sex, less manly men than me get sex, uglier men than me get sex. It's really because I'm broken inside and I know it shows just by looking at me in the eyes.I'm actually an escortcel, at some point I decided paying was better than nothing and entered that rabbit hole. In my location -not US- it's fairly regulated, accessible and arguably safer than picking random chicks in a bar. It's not impersonal, we chat a bit about life etc. They aren't mere cum dumps to me. Haven't fell in love with any either. It's the half-life I chose and I'm not proud of it, but it's better than nothing. Of course that's not the same as a fulfilling relationship, and sometimes that empty feeling kicks, like in this exact moment. (In case you're wondering I was already broken before I started doing this)The question is, how do I unfuck myself? Am I too far gone for a normal life? Is my fate to stay browsing escort websites, fulfill the physical need and then feel miserable later?I already quit escorts for long periods. Didn't work.I have my hobbies. They give that bit of dopamine but then it goes away.I have lots of hobby buddies but no truly close friend or confident. I'm like a shell that won't open.I already tried therapists. Didn't work. Heck, escorts do a better job in this departmentI have a nice job, but as I sink into depression I'm slacking more and more and sooner than later I'll run out of excuses and everything will crumble.God I don't even know if I really want a relationship, I just don't want to feel empty and lonely. I know I can (and maybe should aim to) feel happy and fulfilled while alone, I'm simply unable to. Something is missing and it's probably not a gf. Purpose perhaps? How do I even build purpose out of thin air?
>>32330110Just put it into perspective. You are part of the dominant species in this planet, you live in a developed country, and you get pussy. Enjoy life. Whether you manage a relationship or not, you are already so high in life, living more lavishly than kings used to. Anything more is just extra, things should be great now. You don’t need a relationship to be happy, you already have enough. If you can’t be happy with what you have now, what makes you think you can be happy after you have a relationship. Start enjoying life before it’s over.
33 here and almost the same except the escorts part...I used one twice many years ago but. My opinion is that we've been emotionally isolated for so long that even if we did manage to fluke a gf somehow we still wouldn't be happy because well, I like my personal space dunno bout you. Both physically and mentally. Too accustomed to doing everything by myself, having someone else to think about would be too tiresome.
>>32331921>If you can’t be happy with what you have now, what makes you think you can be happy after you have a relationshipAnon you missed pretty much the entirety of my post. I literally say I'm not sure I really want a relationship and that the missing piece must be something else.My question is, precisely, why I'm not enjoying all of those nice things.
>>32330110you seem to want people to care for you and appreciate you in a way no escort ever willdon't get me wrong I go to escorts all the time but I've had gfs and I can flirt no problem, I've just become lazy with the whole deal and besides I can fuck 18yos without problem paying for them, making one to fall in love with you to fuck you is quite the ordeal. besides I would only be fucking one when I can fuck one weekly by payingI got lost in the sauce, what I wanted to talk about is, you might not have extra time I'm guessing but try to do some charity work or just spend more time where no money is needed to close bonds with people. A kitchen for homeless people, teaching drug addicts how to draw or write or anything, just sit in a park and share a hamburguer with a non crazy hobo>yeah but they only care for me because I give them foodI mean, not really, anyone can give them food, you're giving them your time and an ear, people appreciate thatI'm sure you can think of other stuffI invested in an old classmates failing restaurant and we tried to get it off the groundit didn't work in the end but the dude cares deeply for me now, not because of the money but because I cared for him when he needed it tooI don't know if you get what I mean, give something to someone and you'll receive actual love from themof course you can always try to give something to females and try to make it a relationship as an end goal but I'd say start with the sex you're not attracted to and try to make genuine friends first and then go for a relationship if you by then want one.that shell thing you're talking about is not something you open one day with anyone, it's usually something you open slowly to people that is also sharing with you.I told that friend I was helping with the restaurant about stuff I actually never talked about with anyone, not even family friends, we would get together to dine almost daily and ended up talking about a lot of stuff.
>>32332069I think the missing piece is you haven’t yet chosen to be happy, you are just waiting to become happy. Just actively be happy and if it fails, then at least you can see where are the friction and the bumps, what stops you from being happy. Right now your happiness process is too passive you should actively try to be happy not just pursuing more experiences and things and hoping that will lead to you to being happy. If this doesn’t solve your problem, then at least if you do it right you will understand better what stands between you and happiness.
>>32332253You seem to believe I'm sitting in my desk and waiting for things to happen.I have made steps. I've started hobbies, I have picked again hobbies I had abandoned. I have traveled like crazy this last couple of years, sometimes with friends, sometimes solo, I've explored, shared with people, attended events, spent time with myself, in open air.All I do gives me those bits of dopamine for a little and then it just goes away. Then at the end of the day I go to bed and the emptiness is still there.>>32332105Appreciate the advice anon. I have the feeling that it will go as described above, but I'll give a shot anyway. Thanks.
>>32330110Just find someone you are attracted to or emotionally interested in and be vulnerable but play it cool. The rest comes naturally. You are like an abused dog that wants love.
>>32330110Life after 30 is a slow-motion suicide without family. It's all the negatives of getting old; watching your friends drift away as they start their own families, your parents and siblings getting old and die, watching everything in your life slowly putter out as the magic fades; without any of the positives of things like family or community to shore you up. Everything rots away and you're left with the bleakness of oblivion, no hope of anything continuing. Anyone who has experienced considerable ageing among his family members (or already in himself), knows how blackpilling it is. It's really rough, once people pass their early 50s (or sometimes even sooner) you start to notice the slip-ups, forgetfulness, the declining of fine motor skills, the difficulties understanding new information. Human existence is a tragedy, there are so few years that you are allowed with full mental and physical strength. Your peak years are mostly wasted with education, where you have barely any control over your own life, because you have little to no money nor autonomy. Add to that the time spent sleeping, working, hygiene, housework, shopping, appointments, visits to the workshop - what do we have left? Everyone who has to work for a living basically leads a precarious existence, regardless of whether they are a simple worker or a well-paid employee. Before they have built up a comfortable fortune and a well established understanding of the world, the body goes downhill.
>>32332287No, you failed to read what I wrote, it was exactly trying directly to be happy not through experiences. Also, I didn’t miss the point of your original post. I will also give you one more FREE advice that just as you interpersonally, you probably lack gratefulness in your own personal life, which is probably a barrier to your fulfillment. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you and don’t cast your pearls before swine we both have a lot of improving to do.
>>32332321>you haven’t yet chosen to be happy>Just actively be happy>you should actively try to be happyThis kind of advice is as empty as it gets, you can't even describe "how" to be happy, you just have to snap your fingers, like this. Magic!>you probably lack gratefulness in your own personal lifeWith my parents and sister dead I don't have much of a personal life left. My sister's kids are basically the entire reason why I won't off myself.I have another sister but she's minding her own business and I'm the one who has to call her every time."Gratefulness" is another empty buzzword, like yea, I have several nice things and I've had some luck, more than most. Why I'm feeling like this, and how I stop feeling like this, you don't have a real answer beyond "just stop feeling like this!"
>>32332442I can’t help myself, I have to respond against my better judgment. No money and just hostility as payment but here goes…You are hostile to the idea because it invalidates what you have been doing and how you have been approaching the problem. You cannot accept that the solution is simple and easy, it has to be complex and hard. If the solution was simple and easy, and you could just switch on your happiness, dial it up your enjoyment of life like it’s a microwave switch, then that would change everything.So yeah, just be happy bro. Start enjoying life, you don’t need anything. People can enjoy life in the wilderness in mud huts. Actively get into the state that you are wishing for, don’t let it be a wish or a dream, just become it. You don’t need anything, just a bit of internal alchemy, you just decide what you want to be and become that, it’s simple bro.
>>32331955BINGO. This is what's really going on.
>>32332299Agreed. Young anons, take heed. You have a chance to unfuck yourselves if you start now, but every year you wait that pit just gets deeper and deeper. One day you'll wake up and realize you can't even see the sun anymore. Coping is trap.
>>32332253>>32332321>>32332553I'm not OP but you're an idiot which explains why you think being happy is a "decision." Retards are ignorant of the world around them and ignorance is bliss.
>>32333677 You can choose to be horny, you can choose to be angry, and you can certainly choose to be in a happy, fulfilled or in other transcendent states. It’s a combination of controlling your thoughts, possibly your physical actions, possibly reminiscing on events or using imagination, among other things. Breaking it down it sounds complicated but it really isn’t. You can very easily control your state. It’s your choice to be miserable.
35yo NEET here. I dropped out of college. I worked menial jobs in my 20s. I had a psychosis 6 years ago and moved home. Sane now but extremely depressed. I've posted so much cringe, IRL and online. I feel no longer human, like the novel. I'm too selfish even to read the other posts ITT. Just fishing for encouragement anyway.For a long time I used suicide as an excuse not to grow up--I'd rather die than work! I gotta lay low and my genius will blossom somehow! Ridiculous cope.Can I just work a shit job and NoFap forever and read books in the evening? Is that it? At least I can have pet reptiles.
>>32332299One more layer of difficulty I'd add to this is that you're very lucky to get a halfway-accurate view of the world by the time you are 40. It's only possible for young people to capitalize on their strength and energy if they have accurate guidance from the previous generation, which is yet another thing that has been ripped away from them. The master-student/apprentice relationship needs to come back and modern education must be completely abolished.
>>32330110You need to zoom in and zoom out on your problems. Reframe them. You are thinking of your life and your problems in terms of oversimplified tropes and internet memes instead of your unique individual authentic experience.Visualize about what you desire, the pleasurable outcome, instead of disappointmnents that happened in the past. Imagine your desires being fulfilled, imagine how nice they would be.
>>32334587>being a wagie in the current year
>>32330110https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QT3fOMJdfbchttps://kingjames.bible/John-1https://m.youtube.com/@theghettogospelteam/
>>32337741I know. It's brutal. You get insulted and abused by People of Color while you sell an hour of your life for the price of a Big Mac meal.I said>one of those days, eh?to comfort a fast food worker last night after he was bitched out by an impatient customer. He said>this job makes me wish I was back in fucking prison
>>32332299>after 30It already happens after 20 lol
>>32330110therapy, but open up as much as possible.also, go out, talk to random people as other anons said, join groups, go for walks, get tinder and looks for friends there, whatever
>>32330110>This is not just another "why nobody fuck me" post.Yes it is
>>32338113You didn't bother reading of courseOP already knows why and wants to undo it
believe me when I was in my 20s I think 40 yr old people are old even the 37 yr olds I am not sure if something is wrong with me even one year older guys seem old to me
>>32332299This is exactly right. I'm the 35yo NEET. I had all the blessings I needed as a kid except for one thing: true beliefs. No one with wisdom ever appeared to tell me what I needed to know. My personality developed poorly and I wasted my looks, brains, amd athleticism. God, how women used to look at me. And the QUALITY of women who liked me! Brilliant, beautiful women, scientists and doctors now. The opportunities I had.Yeah, I'm thinking nitrogen + exit bag.
Guys, is there a way?Is there a fucking way for a 35yo with nothing to turn it around?Am I really on the threshold of suicide?Or is there a way?
I turned 28 yesterday. This thread is making me suicidal.
>>32338430I was fine at 28, I just didn't know it. Should have committed to the job, made like $60k, made the FWB my gf/wife, and cruised.Instead I developed a flaming psychosis, spammed everyone I knew with /pol/ and /x/, and moved home, where I've been for the better part of a decade now.
>>32338430>>32338507OP here. I was actually far worse at 28 than I am now>At 22 my dad died and my mental health started drifting>At 24 I dated someone and lost my virginity. Was dumped a few weeks later, but she kept searching me every few months while dating what was basically a succesful version of me>At 25 I finally dropped out and got a job as a software dev>At 26 I lost my job, my former date decided we had to stop and I never saw her again>At 28 I gave another shot to college and failed miserably>At 29 I got a minimum wage job and started leaving the hole. I was still living with my mom, but at least putting some money on the table. And despite the low payment, I learned a lot that would help me land better jobs later>At 30 I started seeing sex workers>Around 32-33 I moved to a better job finally started earning decent money, but coinciding with my sister and mom's deaths that happened a year apartNow I'm 37. I'm fine on the material side, but completely broken emotionally.I don't wonder why I don't get laid (paid sex aside) because I know the answer - my brokenness reflects in my face and makes me undesirable, no matter how tall I am (6') or how much I make (on the top 10% in my country) or how funny I am (I have a knack for jokes). This is why I made this thread - I don't want to be broken anymore, not even to get into a relationship, if only to feel well with myself.>how can you be funny if you're so miserablepicrel
>>32338418>Guys, is there a way?You have to want to turn things around. At 35 your ever decision is a vote cast for the type of future you want. If you decide to doomscroll 4chan every day, that's the future you want, and that's the future you'll have, you simply don't want to turn things around.
>>32338154I also know why but i don't wanna undo it. 33yo and it's already too late in my opinion.i have some form of chronic fatigue that i first noticed at 20 which doctors will never be able to figure out cause they're dumb.There are so many wrong things in my life that having sex, a gf, wife, kids are the least of my worries. i hate the shit communist apartment building where i live, shit neighbors, shit is everywhere in this city and country, shit inflation and costs of living, even my parents were very big pieces of shit.didn't even have a crush since 2019 or 2020.HOWEVER,no war, no forced mobilisation and I'll remain as happy as it's humanly possible. and a decent job with decent income is all i sneed
Honestly I'm a Schopenhauer fan and I might just NoFap forever. >think of the world as hell, and try to make a little room away from the flamesI have to get money somehow, though. I'm fine with like rice and TV. I know I'll never be a beautiful person. A small life is fine at this point. Insulation from bullshit is what I want. Maybe trucking? But I don't want my body destroyed.
29M lost my virginity to an escort in the ghetto. Was afraid of getting an STD so I pulled out after I felt in my heart that I was not married or in love with this woman like the girls I used to have a crush on. I felt very upset I can't get this love story I've always dreamed of with women ever in my life. Everything just twists into a reprehension with women in my life.
>>32330110I won't read maudlin rambles that go on forever. Get to the point next time.
