Stop wanting and start doing.

>>32331314
>I start doing
>Lasts for 2 months at most
>Back to square one
>repeat forever

Uhh? What's happening? Am I in purgatory?

>>32331285
Its because you’re competing with genx and millenials for careers they should have moved past by now. Thats right, 35+ year olds at mcdonalds are either jeets or fucking losers and they make it impossible for teens and young men to start out.

If you ever had to work with these people you will understand their snide backhanded ways. They want you gone because you will remind them of this.

Theres no paths and young men are simply pushed aside and forgotten in 2024. The push to college was for women. None of the new flashy world is for us and they have no problem reminding us daily.

So, why do you care? If you can make ends meet and hide out in a good location you’re already doing better than most of us will ever have the chance to do.

>2/10 genz men unemployed
>20% socially isolated

This is uncharted territory and you can’t even rely on your fellow peers to help you out. Thats the hardest transition I think. When you realize none of the people who say they care about you can help.

Oh and also that theres no plan that makes sense or doesn’t change on a monthly basis because you still have no fucking idea what you want.

Am I in the ballpark?

>>32331326
Does it suck to do things that bore you even though they may help you? Yes. Do them anyway. Trust me, when you take "maintenance" for granted, you end up doing things like not brushing your teeth (and thus watching them disintegrate over the years).

Your best bet? Take one thing and make a habit of it for thirty days. Don't try to do everything at once - that's gonna fuck you up. Figure out what one thing you want to do, set a plan to do it for thirty days straight, then execute. Once you've made that one thing a habit for a month, you can add another thing and repeat the process.

And don't think in terms of big goals such as "I wanna pull more ass than a donkey breeder". Think in terms of smaller goals - the thirty-days goal, yes, but also goals that are about the work and not the results. If you want to write, for example? Write three pages' worth of bullshit a day. Doesn't matter what they're about. Doesn't matter if anyone but you sees 'em. Write those three pages, then do what you want with them, but only after you write them. You build a habit like you build a muscle, and a habit is part of a system like a muscle is part of a body. Build a system of living that works for you, habit by habit.

Stop wanting it to be easy. Start doing what's hard.

>>32331363
No, I don't really care about money or work.
>>32331372
I had that same idea too. I also want to write... am I that predictable? I know the answer. My thoughts just tend to be depressive most of the time and I have a billion problems to fix, like social autism.

>>32331285
>>32331326
Anon I've been there and let me tell you, this type of thing is just a consequence of low self esteem. Think about it. Try to recall a time when you REALLY wanted something very intensely. You went straight to it, no? Whether it's playing video games or doing drugs or learning some specific thing or doing some specific thing, when we want something, we just do it.
The key thing to do is find what you want to do. If you are just telling yourself "do this", "improve in this way", "learn this thing and that thing", these are commands you are giving to yourself. But to give the commands is one thing, to obey them is another. If you really don't want to obey them, it will be hard to do so. Speaking for myself, it was more effective to look for the things that I really wanted to do, and then focus on that. If you set yourself a mile long list of things to do but have no enthusiasm for them at all, it's going to be an uphill battle. I won't say it's impossible. But it will be challenging. And it didn't work for me.
To give a basic example, I had this holistic self-improvement program I drew up for myself, learning, gym, etc. Well, I don't even try to go to the gym anymore because I hate it. I just hate it. But I really got into philosophy, so now I love digging into that stuff and reading books. I read a lot, just like younger me wanted. But I read because I want to read those books, not because of some arbitrarily set reading target. Same goes for languages. I tried learning German "to self-improve". Well, that was just a whim so it didn't work. Now I am learning Russian and it's working out okay because my motivations are deeper.
TL;DR find things you actually WANT WANT to do. Then your motivations will be deeper and take you farther. Or become some disciplinemaxxed monster idk, but that didn't work for me.

>>32331472
>Anon I've been there and let me tell you, this type of thing is just a consequence of low self esteem.
To expand on what I mean by this, the "commanding voice" telling you to improve in whatever way without any regard for who you are and what you really want is what the low self esteem problem is. Usually it's just a voice patterned after a tyrannical parent who used to treat you in the same way. And so you treat yourself like that too (and obviously it doesn't work because this method only gets results through compulsion and violence, which it would be absurd for a person to inflict on themselves).

>>32331472
Yeah, I can relate to what you posted. I also went through that same realization. Contrary to you though I actually liked going to the gym, I still don't stick to it though. Even if it's fun or fulfilling I don't stick to it long enough to get to anywhere meaningful, I've experienced this with playing guita too, and writing. I'd like to hear about what's going through the process of learning russian was like for you.
>>32331487
Never thought of it that way. You might be right though.

>>32331462
>My thoughts just tend to be depressive most of the time and I have a billion problems to fix, like social autism.
You'd be surprised what fixing one problem can do for you. So let me put it to you this way: Find a problem that is small enough that you can solve it without having to make a huge life change or whatever. The writing thing, for example - that three-pages thing is something I lifted from elsewhere ("morning pages" is what I learned it as), but it's still a thing you can do that doesn't need you to shift your entire life around.

In fact, use those three pages every day to write out your feelings. On anything. You don't have to write about yourself - you can write about how you feel about a movie or a song or fuckin' 4chan, for all that it matters. NOBODY ELSE has to see those pages. If you write them out on paper, you can even burn or shred them after writing. The point is to loosen your fear of the blank page (and maybe give yourself some free therapy to boot).

Choose the easiest, least life-altering thing you can do for thirty days straight, then fucking do it. If you can accomplish that, you can repeat the process with something slightly harder. And as you keep repeating the process - as you build a system of habits - you'll find yourself changing along the way, even if you don't realize it at first. You won't be the same person you were before you built that system, and that's the whole point: When results aren't guaranteed, the process is what matters the most.

>>32331472
>find things you actually WANT WANT to do. Then your motivations will be deeper and take you farther.
Refining this point: Action creates motivation, not the other way around. Start doing and you'll find the motivation to keep going; demand to be motivated before you start doing and you'll fuck yourself over way more often than not.

>>32331285
I spent the last two years doing that but I improved a lot. I guess it's because I hit rock bottom and could only go up, and maybe you were not very low.
>I suffered from several chronic pain conditions and my pain is better.
>I had crippling anxiety but now I'm more controlled.
>I became incredibly ambitious and to me it's a matter of fate and justice that I become one of the greatest in history

>>32331533
>it's a matter of fate and justice that I become one of the greatest in history
Go back to class, Light Yagami.

>>32331515
I think there's a specific technical term for this phenomenon, but I don't remember it. It's this boundary point when you just pick up an interest, where you need to spend a bunch of energy on getting past beginner level even though you can't do anything with your interest yet, and this is the great filter. It's filtered me from other things too, but for things I actually had a strong motivation for, I just couldn't stop doing them and breezed past that point. If you really want something to the point where you are willing to spend 1000 hours on it, you won't struggle to find motivation after that point either because you'll be an intermediate already and that's fun and rewarding as hell.
>I'd like to hear about what's going through the process of learning russian was like for you.
I am still learning it, and am in the beginner stages, but I have been at it for a while and can tell that this time I have what it takes to finish it. I have a few reasons to learn it beyond "you must self-improve", and these reasons are things that I have reflected on and treasured for a while. This means they are not vapid reasons. And that's why they will carry me to the finish line, no matter how long it takes. So this is more of a mix of motivation and discipline for me.
Usually though most of the things I learn, I just develop a burning motivation and it carries me through. Something catches my interest and I apply myself to it until I feel like I have cracked it. That's how it's worked for me with philosophy and some more intellectual skills - I run into something cool, I want to understand it, I don't stop until I have. This takes me past the initial hurdle of being a total beginner.
Somewhat similar was the process of me learning writing. I was teen, I got into text roleplay which was very fun for me (since I liked getting attention for my creations). Better writers got more attention, so I spent a ton of time practicing and learning. Simple as.

>>32331526
This has not been the case for me. There can be special methods to try to trick the monkey brain into "doing stuff" until you get more comfortable with a craft - a guy I know would buy himself pizza every time he worked on a new hobby of his. I am not like that though. Every time I have tried "doing first", it's ended pretty pathetically. For me, success has always been announced by a strong desire to know or master some specific thing.

>>32331561
I've found that wanting to do a thing becomes easier when I'm actually doing the thing. Example: I don't generally want to clean my house that much, so I force myself to do it, and while I'm in the middle of it, I find it much easier to want to finish cleaning than I did before I started.

Maybe it works the other way around for some people, but I find "action creates motivation" works for me.

>>32331589
That's fair enough, but that's also a smaller task than learning a language or programming or whatever. With chores, I just let my autism do the job - I have a strict timetable for what gets done when, so motivation or discipline hardly come into it.

>>32331518
I wouldn't write about my feelings, cause I do that practically every day, I'm quite sick of it.

“I’m running out of time, I’m failing, I’m fucking something up, and its my fault so I need to do something, anything.”

A snippet. I think it summarizes how I've felt for a while. I'll take your advice.

>>32331594
>that's also a smaller task than learning a language or programming or whatever
A fair point. And learning a skill is a noble goal to have, even for a thirty-day habit-building system. But starting small with less life-changing habits can create the discipline - the devotion, really - that leads to being able to better handle learning a skill.

>>32331605
>I wouldn't write about my feelings, cause I do that practically every day, I'm quite sick of it.
Don't write about how you feel about yourself and your life, then. Write about how you feel about abstract ideas such as love or greed or power. Write about a favorite memory from your childhood. Write about a movie you watched, even if you hated it. You can even write the same word or phrase over and over and over and over for three pages, if that's what you feel like doing. The "morning pages" thing isn't about writing something super-specific - it's about writing ANYTHING. You get to decide what goes on those pages, even if you're going to destroy them after you finish.

Shit, if you really wanted, you could write a bunch of bullshit about how your life is fucking awesome and address it to a fictional character or some shit. Pick a waifu and write a love letter to her. Pick a character you hate and write the equivalent of "Not Like Us" at them. See how easy it is to think of shit to write when you're not burdened by the notion of having to write the same thing every day?

Make lists! Write smut! Do an interview with yourself as if you're some famous-ass reporter! Nothing is off-limits because you're the only one setting the limits here. If it's all bullshit that no one else is going to see, it doesn't have to be all that important or life-changing or (directly) theraputic. It can just be bullshit. That it's YOUR bullshit is what matters.

>>32331605
>“I’m running out of time, I’m failing, I’m fucking something up, and its my fault so I need to do something, anything.”
#1 priority is probably to calm down, friend. If you are spazzing or panicking you are much more likely to make bad, superficial decisions, and to be lacking in the composure and stability necessary to stick with things and develop. If you want to get "stronger", you shouldn't approach the matter with an attitude that is fitting of weakness and of clinging. Think of gardening. When you provide the most favourable conditions to a plant, it has the easiest time growing, at its own pace appropriate to it. If your mental environment is negative and frantic, this will stifle growth. Living beings grow and develop when they are comfortable; discomfort is the appropriate attitude when you are losing ground and trying to desperately hold onto something that is being lost. It is not an appropriate attitude for a person that wants to grow.

>>32331285
Uninstall any stupid social media you might spend too much time on (any one that has short vertical video forms)

>>32331285
I'll be honest I don't think any of the answers in this thread were helpful and maybe you should see a therapist (male).

>>32334501
I did, for 3 months. He was a retard with dotted eyes and got me nowhere. Every session I ended I felt pathetic right after

>>32334510
damn. I usually have a feeling of relief after I leave. Not sure what type of therapy it was, person centered has been the best for relief, where as cbt is ok and relationship therapy has been the hardest.

>>32334541
Honestly, that anon might not be the brightest light around.

>>32334541
Idk, it was just "therapy". He asked me stuff and I tried to answer as best as I could, and then he spent like 2 months making me tests for social anxiety
>>32334548
erm, im right here if you want to call me a retard. very cringe of you