Hey /adv/. When I was 20 I knew what I wanted for my life. A pretty, loving, fun wife, a house, kids and a job that did enough to pay the bills, and support a life. That's it. I have no higher ambitions or passions, I just want a suburban middle class family life. 28 now and that hasn't changed. I've made my way up the ladder, I've spent the last 8 years working for my dream. I've moved around the world, jumped from job to job. Dated several women, had adventures and whatever. I make good money now, albeit I don't really care about my career, irs just for money. I've had several girlfriends but it was never quite right.I used to think about music, and movies, art, history, politics, and having fun, but now all I think about, all the time is "what do I need to do next?" "How do I fix my love life?" "How do I self improve" "how do I learn from.all the mistakes I've made" etc.I just feel like I missed my shot, it's too late for me now. I've succeeded in career, but Its literally the least important thing to me. I have a girlfriend, but yet again I'm unsure about it and unsatisfied. I just want to move forward, and get to that next chapter. Done with dating, done with the ladder, done with uncertainty and change. I just want to be married and paying a mortgage and sleeping with the same person every night and taking kids to soccer practice or whatever. Where did I go wrong? I did everything right, but here I am no closer than where I started. I can't get the woman I want and that's the roadblock to the life I want. I don't know what to do anymore other then settle, keep trying and failing, or just give up entirely. If I knew 8 years ago this is where I'd be, I would've devoted my life to something else. I never pursued anything I actually loved or wanted, just what was necessary to pave my way to a life I still don't have. I'm tired, and feel out of time. Anyone relate? How do you cope?
>I want a good life >I know I want it >now im having doubts The only thing that stopped you from enjoying the life you’re going for is yourself. I would tell you that the ideal life you envision is not all it’s cracked up to be, but chasing the idea of a nuclear family is just a relic of the past. You will likely fail at having that because of your past experiences making the attempt with several girlfriends. Right now is the age of independence. There is so little war going on between the major countries right now that you can choose to settle where you think you might enjoy passing frivolities, and earn a living stable enough to create something that lives long past you. You could potentially be living a renaissance period of your own but instead you’re sitting there and wallowing because you don’t know what to do. Why? Because you lack inspiration. You lack loving something truly, from yourself. I don’t know how you’ve been with so many women because every girl I’ve dated loved how passionate I was yet you seem like you have none at all. In closing, go find something you’re passionate about and focus on a craft that accentuates that
>>32332345>now all I think about, all the time is "what do I need to do next?" "How do I fix my love life?" "How do I self improve" "how do I learn from.all the mistakes I've made" etc.So long as it doesn't reach pathological levels and so long as you are actually getting somewhere with your thinking, that seems fine?And for what it's worth, my mom "settled" (married her #3 choice even though he's still way too good for her) and she's doing okay. She's benefitted greatly from her marriage. And if she wasn't a huge bitch she would have a happy family too.
>>32332430I'm just so scared of fomo and regret. If I marry a girl who isn't exactly what I want, or who feels like a settle, I know I will be miserable. I will become a crochety, resentful, hateful old man and be a terrible father and husband. Even now with my current gf every time I see a prettier woman or take to a smarter or more interesting one I just feel guilt and regret, I can't imagine that for a lifetime man
