it seems like such a stupid thing to worry about but i can't stop obsessing over it. like say you used to be a total loser. fat, friendless, virgin, bitter about women, mommy issues, etc. you used to be these things, but you've self improved and now those things are in your past. are you morally obligated to disclose those facts on a date? it seems like you should. most would consider hiding things to a potential partner manipulation, and no healthy relationship is founded on lies and secrets. that being said, those things can be red flags for most people so it's kind of a catch-22.
>>32332748>are you morally obligated to disclose those facts on a date?Obviously not, are you retarded? Imagine Donald Trump trying to negotiate a deal and press his advantage, but he has to say "btw I went bankrupt once" every time he's negotiating. Dumb fucking idea. Honestly, if I get a question I don't like on a date, even if it's a direct question, I'd just try to deflect it. If it doesn't work, I'd regret being unable to deflect it, not the fact that I tried.
>Imagine Donald Trump trying to negotiate a deal and press his advantage, but he has to say "btw I went bankrupt once" every time he's negotiatingi get what you're saying but at the same time it seems really unethical to have to treat getting women like closing a business deal.
>>32332891Their fault for being picky. Shoulda just gone on that date and been happy
You sound like a massive bluepilled whipped faggot. Women dont give a single solitary fuck about your past, struggles and journey. Thats not what they want from you. They want your future. YOU'RE the one who should be worrying about their past, because you're risking your future by being with them. Stop thinking that youre this women ally and man the fuck up. Attraction is natural and nature is entirely unconcerned with your ethics. Save your morals for people who would value them, not women. Women are not concerned at all with who you are, rahter than what you can get them. >Verification not required
>>32332891That's literally what the modern dating scene is, though. You are trying to haggle for sustained interest. Until there is some personal connection or familiarity you are not even dealing with an acquaintance, you are trying to reel in a total stranger. It's the rules of the game. Hate it? Tough luck, you gotta play it or find another one.
>>32332891moot point. it's more unethical to promise someone a fun outing and then trauma dump because you need to "clear the air" to appease your narcissistic sense of being steadfastly moral and responsible. you don't care about ethics, you care about controlling the frame so you can self sabotage and shrug off "welp guess girls will never like me" instead of doing the actually difficult work of putting your best self forward even given a checkered past
>instead of doing the actually difficult work of putting your best self forward even given a checkered pasthow is that not manipulation?
>>32333042forgot to quote, meant for >>32332960
>>32333042There's a huge difference between lying to a chick in response to a direct question vs some imaginary hallucination of a conversation where you're at the park playing disc golf or some damn thing making some fun memories together and then out of nowhere you start screeching about how used to be 20 pounds fatter as if that has anything to do with your date or what you're doing you just felt like screeching it as some kind of self-sabotage strategy."Hey Stacy it sure is fun playing miniature golf but I figured between holes 6 and 7 was the perfect time to freeze up and tell you all about how I failed a math quiz back in 7th grade and now that you know I guess you'll have to dump me OK so bye have a nice life don't bang Chad too much after I'm gone"
>>32332748>total loser. fat, friendless, virgin, bitter about women, mommy issues, etcI'm a 31 year old who was exactly that and I've improved my life vastly. I'm still technically a virgin.I literally went on a date yesterday, asked her out for a movie. She's 26 and we were talking before the movie and she said she only had 1 boyfriend for 6 years, and asked me "have you ever had a relationship?" in a tone which seemed totally normal if I said "no", and I said "no" and she kept talking like it was not important.Anyway, we ended up going out drinking after the movie and dry humping until like 4 am and she was already talking about coming over my place this week.Here's what you need to know: be honest but there's no need to give details, and just don't make a big deal about it because if you think about it, it is not. Most people are weird in some way, you figure that out after you stop being a lonely stuck up loser and meet people.If she's attracted to you it doesn't matter. If it matters to her she's probably a cunt anyway, you don't wanna date a cunt.
>>32333126>I literally went on a date yesterday, asked her out for a movie. She's 26 and we were talking before the movie and she said she only had 1 boyfriend for 6 years, and asked me "have you ever had a relationship?" in a tone which seemed totally normal if I said "no", and I said "no" and she kept talking like it was not important.>Anyway, we ended up going out drinking after the movie and dry humping until like 4 am and she was already talking about coming over my place this week.Nice larp, faggot
>>32333118>vs some imaginary hallucination of a conversation where you're at the park playing disc golf or some damn thing making some fun memories together and then out of nowhere you start screeching about how used to be 20 pounds fatter as if that has anything to do with your date or what you're doing you just felt like screeching it as some kind of self-sabotage strategy.what are you even talking about?
>>32333202Yeah dude, it may seem impossible to you right now, it would for me too until very recently, but it happened. Do you go out and see people dating? Things happen when you open yourself up to the world and I hope you learn that someday like I did.
>>32333250your story just doesn't make sense.>and asked me "have you ever had a relationship?" in a tone which seemed totally normal if I said "no", and I said "no" and she kept talking like it was not importantno one just asks someone that on a date. most people have been in relationships, it's not something that needs to be stated. the only reason someone would ask you that is if they think that you haven't, aka they think you're a loser.>She's 26 and we were talking before the movie and she said she only had 1 boyfriend for 6 years>we ended up going out drinking after the movie and dry humping until like 4 am and she was already talking about coming over my place this week.so she was loyal to one dude for 6 years, but she dry humped you on the first date? either she's a massive whore and was cheating on him the whole time, or you're just so attractive that you turned her wild with your insatiable charm. either way it doesn't make sense and you're full of shit. do better.
>>32333042>how is that not manipulation?because no society in the world has ever functioned on the principle of "when two people meet, comprehensively exchange all metadata about your past to make sure you're compatible"there's no manipulation because there's no expectation. everyone has always met someone and gotten to like them based on a tiny, unrepresentative sliver of their totality. people get married for years and still find out new things that one partner considered a core part of their identity that they just haven't gotten around to in the years since meeting their partnerto be manipulative you have to be finessing a societal convention, or avoiding the spirit of the law. presenting the best aspects of yourself without being comprehensive in the getting to know someone phase is not subverting any societal conventiondo you understand this?
>>32333400Tell us about the last time you went out on a date.
>>32333488I told her I've never kissed a girl and she said she didn't care, then we dry humped on the table.
>>32333400>either she's a massive whore and was cheating on him the whole timeThat I don't know. I just met her yesterday. The fact that we were making out in my car doesn't really make her a whore though in my opinion. She wasn't grabbing my cock or anything.>or you're just so attractive that you turned her wild with your insatiable charmShe did seem to like me yes.
>>32333547Oh I see you have a lot of experience with women and dating. Well then your input has been duly noted.
>>32333410>there's no manipulation because there's no expectationthere's some expectation. when you're getting to know your date, it's implied that you're expected to get a somewhat complete picture of them to see if you're compatible. it's why dating apps have questionnaires and personality tests. if you're goal is just to get laid then obviously none of that matters, but it's extremely important if you're looking for something long-term.
It's persuasion. Rather move out the mindset of it being a dichotomy. Think of it more of a range. Manipulation implies you're only looking out for yourself. You sound like me, in that you want to be honest and open and hope others are the same. This isn't reality though. Realize the girl also has secrets, maybe some worse. I mean at some point you shat your pants as a baby, but you don't recall, but you learned how not to. It's all relative don't sweat it. The stuff you listed isn't even fucking bad and I promise you that a lot of the supposed alphas out there also started somewhere.
>>32333042everything is manipulation, get over it faggots
>>32333547she is still a whore lmao. also she definitely knew u were full of shit about the kissing thing. its obvious when someone does not know how. but yea full make out and everything. nice larp
>>32334160u have autism anon. get tested. no shame in it.most ppl on 4chan have it. the more ya know
>>32334470huh
>>32334717You are genuinely so fucking stupid. Sub human idiot does not even understand english. kys
>>32334745I understand English, I just don't understand whatever the fuck it is you were trying to say. Maybe try Rosetta Stone, jeet.
You don't need to tell your date on the first date that you've cheated in every relationship that you've been in. But you should eventually
Nah dude, in fact I've learned the hard way that you don't want to be too forthcoming with information, especially on a first date.My friend who is more successful with ladies than myself likes to deflect and be sarcastic, it works wonders. Girls enjoy digging and finding out about you, if you lay it all out bare they get bored.
>>32332748Do you feel the need to tell them every single thought you've ever had?Everyone presents a facade even to those closest to us. If we could see the innermost thoughts and motivations in everyone we'd hate them as much as we hate ourselves. You only like the façade the people you know present to you, not their entire being.Some things are best kept to yourself, especially if it is firmly in the past and has no true bearing on who you are today.
>>32334811I've tried being sarcastic but it just came off as weird and offensive.
