This might depend on where you live but there are speaking clubs you can join that can help with social skills. One called toast masters varies in what individual chapters focus on but it's going to be making speeches wherever you find a group.

Some are more oriented towards professionals and speaking, where others may have an emphasis on workshopping for people who struggle with social skills. Getting help with what you want to build on for yourself might differ depending on details involved here but looking for groups in person through something like meetup could be helpful down the road.

Depending on factors like expenses, you might even want to consider seeing someone to talk to if you don't have anyone else who could work one on one with you to reaching an end goal with what you want here.

Hopefully something here will be able to help you in your journey. You seem like someone with a lot to offer and beyond that a good soul

>I noticed certain people doing X successfully
>but I instead do Z because i dont gaf
>despite it directly going against my interests, I do Z and never X
>I don't understand why X is so hard...?

>>32338672
I see, that actually sounds hard to swallow
Somewhere down the line I think I developed a distaste towards true openness and humility. I think that absorbing energy and responding to people fully got me hurt plus it didn't even work making everyone like me, lots of people thought I was a freak for being too perceptive
>>32338674
yes.

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>>32338696
>yes.

>>32338674 could be a number of things... 'manifesting' if you could even put it that way (what you're describing could be in background among maybe beyond even hundreds of individual possibilities).

As someone not truly formally educated yet in how the mind works, what you're describing could be something you learned along the way in broad terms of speaking.

This could be something your brain is doing to more or less balance itself in lieu of certain variables involved with you, it could be your style of socializing, it could be the way your brain works, among virtually countless other reasons why this could be happening... If this is something you're perceiving as an issue, you might benefit greatly from seeing someone who is a professional in the field of assessing people with issues they're having in their life, specifically things that are social, mental, relationships and romance.

>I don't understand why X is so hard...?

There are people who can have your back in this case, and in a lot of places it's easily manageable for even most people to get this for free.

>>32338643
I wish i had enough time to listen to everyone's passions. I love to hear the energy in people when they talk about them, hell its one of the reasons i ended up in the chan's. People are really passionate in here, a lot of it bad, but when its good, its real good.

>>32338725
>There are people who can have your back in this case, and in a lot of places it's easily manageable for even most people to get this for free.
I'm afraid of what I'm giving up in exchange
>>32338744
If only people knew that I'm willing and able to take them to the next level for free if they only trusted me and reached out to me, the problem I think is that I can only offer myself for a short time. Nothing lasts forever and I can only hold one mindform for an hour or so if I put in massive effort

So I guess I'm just a fraud who puts in huge effort to be something he's not and fails. I'm not happy with what I have. I'm greedy. I want to steal spiritual energy from people who have less intellectual energy. I want to form a trade but they don't want to trade with me because they know I'm a fraud

>>32338643
Don't worry, you'll break eventually.
Bullshitting is a survival strategy, not a choice.

>>32338774
I really hope that you're right

>>32338643
Ignore them.