>Know I have OCD>"Eh, it's just me, it's also a necessity for me to keep anxiety at bay and perform as good as I am, OCD is a side effect of a positive personal development, I'll deal with it when it becomes unbearable">Get worse and worse>"Still manageable, no big deal to take 20 minutes to put on my pants, brew coffee and leave house, it's what it is">Have one (1) encounter with girl>Get stuck on imperfect phrasing on my part>She lost interest>Blame myself (basically expecting myself to string people along rather than interest being natural, saw it as a superpower of mine to string anyone I want along and being interesting to everyone, but this only prevents genuine, long lasting connections from forming)>Stuck on one wrong word for 30 days>"Let me just see you one more time for 5 minutes, I'll fix this">She lost interest>60 days, trying to make encounter happen>90 days, upset, bitter, realize it's over, but what if?>365 days of coping and seething>Realize, on the 365th day, this was all OCD, and I have it bad.>Solve "problem">World opens up>Things are colorful>I am me again>Don't even remember girl>Past year feels like it didn't happen>No rumination>Feel 500 kg lighter>"This was all it took..mental gymnastics....">Weep in the car, afraid of how mentally ill I've becomeDoes anyone have OCD? Specifically, Real Event OCD (REOCD)? Is there successful treatment for it?
>>32338738To top it off, what I thought was me being interesting to people through perfect articulation, was actually more crippling than good. When I "solved" the problem, I was interesting to even more people. People notice when you're off. If they find you interesting despite being off, they'll find you more interesting if you aren't off. I didn't know this.OCD is a problem, never a trait.
>>32338738go take a fuckton of lsd or shrooms or somethingwith a tripsitter in a comfy safe environment of course
