There is no bad in porn.

You go soft because of performance anxiety

It gets better by communicating the issue to a sexual partner who will be patient, understanding and encouraging of you.

>>32417189
I've already told her and the first thing she said to me was "are you not attracted to me? then "are you sure youre not gay?'

>>32417177
Stop watching porn and stop masturbating.
If you orgasm one a day anyway, why would your penis put up with the extra effort of fucking?

>>32417177
If she's throwing herself at you she wants to trap you and she gives it up easy

>>32417241
I've tried this but i guess i didnt go long enough. I went a whole week without looking at porn or jacking off. We hung out for a weekend and she was grinding on me and yeah it got me hard but i still couldnt cum even though every sign said i should be.

>>32418211
which is why im not fucking her right away. she also wants me to get an STI test before we do it, she already did one that showed she was clean. She's never been on BC her whole life so she only will have sex with me with protection on anyways

bump

>>32418523
try jacking off without porn. it exercises your self-control over your boner and prevents you from getting desensitized to the higher mental stimulation of porn. advanced: stop before you cum. try to do that a few times in the days before seeing her and especially the same day you see her.

>>32422364
>try jacking off without porn
how do you do this? i dont have much real-life experience with women so I cant conjure up an imagine in my head that would get me aroused enough to cum

>>32417177
Stop watching porn, thinking about sex and masturbating (especially edging). Get good with your fingers and your tongue. Hydrate, exercise, meditate. I have problems concentrating. Two days of the above and I am hard as a rock for her.
>>32422364
this is wrong, in my experience. If you have trouble cumming, it's not a matter of self-control, it is a matter of your peepee expecting manual assistance.
>>32417189
This is moronic, there are obviously many things wrong with porn.
>>32417241
This
>>32418523
Did you do anything worthwhile during that week or did you fry your brain on the internet?

>>32424715
My fingers and tongue are good. I can make women orgasm by fingering, biting/licking/sucking on their body. I can make them cum during sex too, its just ME who is never fufulled. I can either keep doing what ive been doing for years, give the woman a good orgasm so she will stick around while i tell her not to worry i cant cum, or i find a way to fix it now so i can ejaculate on/in a woman.

I tried to ween myself off porn, when i get close to cumming i turn off the screen/video and only finish with my mind.
then i tried only looking at text porn (stories) where I had to imagine my own visions. i can get off just as easily to stories as i can with videos. but then once im with a girl im hard during foreplay im hard when i feel her body tighen around mine, or when she starts to breath heavy, but i just feel like my dick is going through the motions, almost robotic. thrusting in and out until she cums then i lose my erection and i dont feel horny anymore even though i didnt cum.

>>32424729
>I tried to ween myself off porn, when i get close to cumming i turn off the screen/video and only finish with my mind.
This is not good my dude, and it doesn't count as weening yourself off porn. You're still watching it. Also, you train your peepee to only cum (or get close to, it's the same thing, really) with your hands. Can you try not thinking about sex at all for a couple of days, while keeping busy with something worthwhile? Also, you can try meeting an actual professional. Get some blood work done, maybe it's hormonal. Otherwise, it could be psychological, speak to a specialist. It's worth it. Sex is nice and you're only gonna have it that many times. Invest into enjoying it my dude.

>>32424745
Ive been seeing a pyschologist for a few months, she thinks its sexual anxiety and mental. based on what i told her she things that because my exposure to sex at a young age was done in secret knowing it was a bad thing had led me to prevent myself from enjoying it with anyone (unlike fapping which is entirely me)

i saw a medical doctor and told him all this and he said it was not ED, and that it was all in my head and to see a therapist, he still gave me a bottle of tadalafil, which does keep me hard during sexual activity even when i normally lose my erection. i have a history of low blood pressure. but ive been going to the gym 2x a week for last 14 months, I can lift I can run.

i dont think about sex unless im at my computer (where the sex is) I dont get addicted to it if im not around it. I was in the hospital last month for 5 days, and i didnt get horny once that entire time, i didnt have the urge to look at porn even though i could easily find it on my phone. honestly im fucked up and i dont know the actual reasons

>>32417177
You watch too much porn.

>>32417206
Yeah because in her head her naked body should be having you ravage her. But your porn and anxiety from the porn gave you ED. Stop watching porn for 3 days and see her naked and you will have the hardest boner you’ve ever had in your life. Serious.

>>32424729
Bro you’re literally still watching porn and just edging. Then you wonder why you can’t get a boner when a naked chick is in front of you. But I bet you get a boner instantly thinking about whatever videos you type in. YOU REWIRED your brain to get used to ejaculating and cumming at the computer instead of when you see a girl naked. It’s not complicated at all.

>>32424772
>i dont think about sex unless im at my computer (where the sex is)
That's not where the sex is. Dude. We're telling you, the trouble is the porn and the masturbation.

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>>32424772
>(where the sex is)
ye

>>32424785
I know im agreeing with you, im just saying what in my head. the "sex" is at my computer so I need to just stay away from it and I wont get any urges to look at porn. I can do it. I'll clear my history so nothing show up when i start typing in sites, i'll make sure there's no naked pictures in my document folders anywhere. I want to make this right.

>>32424776
maybe im just not with a girl i find attractive which is a problem in itself, im not going to find a 10/10 (i am not a 10/10) and i have to train my brain to accept flaws and faults in the girls ive been with. for example one was getting fatter as we dated and it was not a turn on to me at all. another had saggy boobs with peperoni nipples. another one had tattoos on her ribs and thighs. I cannot pull women so If I say "im only going to date women I really find attractive" i will never find one.

>>32424804
I know it's difficult, and I am also struggling myself, but progress is not deleting your browser history or blocking sites. Progress is going a week without it, a month without it, two, four months without it. Just like with most addictions, it's best if you stop immediately and don't go back to it, for any reason. Just remember, there is no reason to look at porn. You don't need it, it won't help in any situation. It's like an alcoholic saying "I need a glass tonight, it's gonna help me be productive": it's bullshit and it's weak. Just stop watching porn and masturbating, do something else, read books, get another job, whatever it takes.

>>32424815
should I admit this to the girl im with? this will likely take months to correct and shes going to wonder whats going on and why im so dysfuctional

>>32424817
Of fucking course you should tell them.

>>32424817
Yeah I mean, it depends, but if you guys are good together sure, I don't see why that would be a problem. If she's not the type to just leave for another dude who supposedly doesn't have ED. I hear that it's pretty common tho, and no girl I've been with has stopped seeing me because I told them I struggle with keeping it hard. They kinda know there's an epidemic.

>>32424894
Shes told me she hasnt had sex in years and has been using a hitachi wand to keep herself satified, but since shes been with me she doesnt even feel like using it anymore, so it seems so far shes happy with me, but shes also very vanilla and i feel a bit embarassed telling her i watch too much porn, especially because its kink stuff and its things I wouldnt want to do with her

>>32425139
My dude, maybe you just need to hear this from another person, but you've been staring at the answers all along. Tell her. You don't have to show her. And in any case, you are gonna stop watching porn anyway, right? Right? I am also into the kinky shit and it's a drag when your partner isn't into it. Life is just like that sometimes. can't win them all. But there's so much more to life than sex, so it shouldn't be a deal breaker.

>>32425197
>life is more than sex
yes *i* know that, sex hasnt been high on my relationship priorities (because of the previously mentioned issues) but women dont feel the same way, they love and they see it as a bond between their lover.
i feel almost lucky in a way because i can look at a relationship and not be clouded by sex as a reason to stay in one when nothing else is going right.

>>32424817
Please tell her anon, it will make the situation better

>>32417177
you ever think you’re just not really that into her? You should be with a woman so can turn you on in many ways

>>32417189
>There is no bad in porn.
You disgusting fucking kike rat
>>32417177
Porn wires your brain to activate sexual arousal in certain conditions. In other words, if you watch and jerk off to porn recorded from 3-rd person perspective than you push your brain into perceiving it as a standard perspective of sexual activities aka unconsciously become a cuckold/voyeur

>>32429296
so pov porn is actually less damaging than traditional porn?

>>32417177
Eat her pussy and when you get hard go in.
Worse case you get her off.

>>32429777
I don’t eat pussy but I can get her off easily

>>32417177
Can't you let her top you instead?

>>32430531
This is the only good post in this whole thread.

>>32430531
Like cowgirl style?

>>32431989
That could work, but you'd be on top, cowboy

>>32417177
>porn is healthy
>porn has destroyed my life
normies don't even make the connection half the time

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>>32417206
>enamored with me
>calls me gay, when I ask for support

>>32432091
She was just busting his balls a little bit

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>>32417206
>are you not attracted to me?
>are you sure youre not gay?
Ah yes, I've forgotten this memory. Delicious.
When you find the answer let me know, it's been over 10 years since I've touched a woman.

>>32433695
What happened anon?

>>32417177
You get more comfortable by doing it in many cases.
Its like driving - a lot of the first times you do it its quite overwhelming, especially if you have no clue what you are doing.

>>32433742
as long as you find a woman willing to be patient and work with you and have a lot of sex until you get good

>>32417177
>ive been holding off on sex
Nice fanfiction you faggot homo woman

>>32436954
>no man has ever turned down sex ever in his life
Once you have sex you’ll understand

>>32417177
I haven’t kissed a woman in 12 years

>>32417177
Allow yourself mistakes through love. oxo

>>32417177
1. Stop making excuses to be uncomfortable with sex.
2. Humans enjoy sex by default so you should just be comfortable with sex at that point.
>ive had bad experiences with it in the past,
Stop having feelings based on those experiences then

>>32441694
I was out at a club tonight with friends and it hit me, I feel the same way about sex as I do about dancing in public, awkward uncomfortable and like im watching myself in 3rd person cringing at how unnatural i feel doing it

>>32417177
Legit just eat meat and animal organs if available. Fucking ditch grains and vegetables. If u start now, in 2 weeks guarantee problem solved.

>>32444631
I have porkchops, chicken and beef in my freezer, is there something specific i should be doing?

>>32444908
dude you can eat the rarest salmon or some nepali vegetable, just stop watching porn and edging.

>>32444993
I havent looked at porn since I made this thread. So far its been 6 days. Idk I havent felt any more turned on or sexual than usual. I wont get to see this girl until next weekend so maybe 14 days will do better for me. The only time this week ive gotten turned on was when a girl at this party came up to me and started flirting with me. I think I like the idea of being desired or someone showing me interest because i went a long time being ignored when i was younger

>>32445318
All good then. You got some good advice on this advice thread. What did you expect, a constant diamond-hard erection all the time? Tough luck, at this point you might just as well blame microplastics

>>32445400
Really i want to accomplish two things

1 keep my erection going past foreplay and into intercourse instead of losing it before or during sex

2 being able to feel comfortable enough to cum with a woman with me instead of only wanting to do it alone in private

>>32445439
I've had it for years, and still happens from time to time.
Stopping porn and taking some Viagra is good, but I still couldn't cum from penetration.

I think it's performance anxiety, and your objectives won't help you.
Your objective should be to be comfortable with her instead. Fool around, make her come with foreplay, but if penetration is too much pressure start easier and communicate that it'll take you some time.
For me the progression was:
- masturbating together
- handjob, with me finishing
- handjob with her finishing. This was easy, because I didn't feel like "tiring her"
- blowjob with me finishing.
- blowjob with her finishing. This was longer for me, because I felt like tiring her after a few mins
By this point, with viagra and no fap, I could stay hard for a good amount of time for some sex, but not coming from penetration.
The position that was easier for me to cum was spooning on the side. Very chill, no distraction from kissing or eye contact. After a couple of times, things got much better and "normal".

I know it sounds lame, people expect to be able to fuck from instincts, but not everybody is the same. Learn to control and condition your body, and you can do it.

>>32445594
Appreciate your progression. The first one is something ive never done with any woman so far, Im 33 and feel like i have the intercourse skills of a teenager.
when you say blowjob/handjob with her finishing do you lean she was giving you those things but you were still trying to make her cum? how did you do that?

Making her cum with foreplay is my specialty at this point. I can effectively get any girl ive been with to cum without intercourse, and occasionally with intercourse and cialis as help.
Bjs and Hjs feel like nothing to me. Years ago a girl gave me head for almost 10 minutes and eventually i told her to stop because nothing was going to happen. probably being circumsized doesnt help as only my head is sensitive but the shaft feel nothing. when my balls get touched it just feels like im being tickled.

>>32445318
takes 3 weeks to really feel the effects of not watching porn i think

>>32445676
how do other guys do it? guys who watch porn regularly and then go fuck women in the same day without having the slightest issue?

>>32445712
quit first, then find out

one last bump, thank you everyone