I don't even know what to do anymore. I think I love my coworker more than my wife. Today I went to lunch with her. We work in different departments, but talk all the time despite no real reason to. At our holiday party a few weeks ago we spent 3 hours sitting together talking. At other events we always talk too. One time when we went out with a bunch of people we ended up holding hands. It feels impossible to make a move in my situation, but I honestly feel like she would want me if I was single. She is very cute and some other guys blatantly hit on her when drunk and she turns them down, but I have never blatantly said anything over the line to her. At the very least we are good friends. Her girl friends at the company also talk to me a lot too and make some comments that sound suspiciously like they know she's into me like>oh she's trying to get your attention by doing x>she was asking about where you were when you went on vacationOr when a bunch of people were hanging out and she was finishing some work>anon go into the lab to get her to come out hereIt sucks because this is a serious job at a serious company and I can't ruin that. And I also can't really take the chance and blow up my marriage for something that could end up not working anyways. I don't really like my wife anymore, she's become unkind, unsupportive, and manipulative in the years of our marriage. Just thinking about how my coworker may never be mine makes me feel seriously upset and affects my mood at work and home. I try to not think about it, but then I see her and have a chat and feel so good and my day turns around. I also know that some coworkers must see us talking all the time, and the way we look into each other's eyes, how we seem inseparable at events, and notice the comments from her friends. Nobody has confronted me yet, but I feel it's coming. My wife has zero clue though.
>>32562523In my humble opinion, this is all a distraction by your unconscious mind. Fix your marriage or divorce and stop wasting the time of each other. After that this other woman might become a relevant topic.
>>32562523>never blatantly said anything over the line to herYou’ve acted over the line. Actions are more real than words, OP. >Today I went to lunch with her>Holiday party, spent 3 hours sitting together talking>At other events we always talk too>We ended up holding handsYou’re emotionally cheating brotha. The only thing to make it a full affair is dicking her. >At the very least we are good friendsNah, it’s a borderline situationship. Friends don’t feel what you feel for one another. They don’t hold hands and cozy up together like you have so far. >I don’t really like my wife anymoreYeah, that’ll happen when you give another woman your energy and not your wife. A man cannot serve two masters; he’ll hate one but love the other. >she’s become unkind, unsupportiveWho wouldn’t? Would you be kind and supportive to someone who keeps themselves open for other men to woo them? Also consider when someone is emotionally fawning elsewhere to someone else, they withdraw and go emotionally distant. I bet your wife has said this to you too, that you’ve been ‘emotionally distant’. You become distant when you spend your emotions on a woman who isn’t your wife.>manipulativeWith respect to you, you hide an emotional affair from her. You manipulate out of necessity to keep that hidden. >Nobody has confronted me yet, but I feel it’s comingSo confront yourself before that happens. You made a vow. Better or worse, sickness and health, death do us part. Does it mean you grudge through hard shit with wife and let it stay bad? No. What it means is you repair and work on bad shit with the wife, together. And you can’t do that if you’re distracted by another woman. So cease contacting the other woman.Or, go for her and lose the marriage and all you built, break your own vow. And then hope this doesn’t repeat with the new woman (which it will, always does. Novelty wears off).
>>32562523>I don't really like my wife anymore, she's become unkind, unsupportive, and manipulative in the years of our marriage. This is not relationship advice, but most people would have a mistress by now.
>>32564626Nah, not most people. About 18% of people if we go by marital affairs initiated by males.
>>32562523If you have an affair, your wife will find out. It's a matter of when, not if. And when she does, she'll most likely divorce you. Even if not, you'll become a social pariah.
First: Remain faithful to your wife and your vows, distance from the other party.You are not the first to have relationship problems in a marriage throughout history without resorting to divorce or affairs. It’s not uncommon for disgruntled spouses to remain married, even those who are willing to overall “trade-up” despite loss. Marriage, like many institutional human traditions involving relationships, can have wide outcomes with modest correlation to personal or couple performance. God did not promise us we would not experience extended personal suffering in this life. Some may or may not have to go through such trial. The ultimate purpose of marriage is creating and rearing new life and ideally the spouses working to help one another towards sainthood.It may never get better, but you should be willing to work on your relationship, yourself, and hopefully she’s receptive to work on herself. The consequence of most second marriages are lifelong self-deception to rationalize the escape of pain and suffering of the first marriage.OP, do you have children? Also, the image is hilarious. :-)
>>32562523You are not in love with her. You are in love with the fantasy that you could be a different sort of person with her. I don't know how old you are but this is classic midlife crisis thinking
>>32562523>respect wedding vowsWow so hard
>>32562523>And I also can't really take the chance and blow up my marriage for something that could end up not working anywaysCorrect, you can't. Now if, *if* your marriage has broken down beyond the point where it is salvageable, and if that would be true EVEN IF YOU HAD NOT MET THIS WOMAN, then you can think about separating, then getting divorced, and only then consider asking this woman on a date. But can you really, truly say that your marriage is beyond repair? And how sure are you that you're not only attracted to this woman because your marriage is on the rocks and you need an outlet?
>>325625237 years into my marriage, 2 kids and a living wife waiting for me at home, I thought I fell in love with a 23yo intern who was the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. I've fucked her on the side for almost a year, cummed in her ass more times I've ever did in my wife's then realized it was just my cock thinking. Got it out of my system, back to husband of the year. Fuck your coworker if you want, I'll bet my money on you crawling back to your wife as I did.
>>32562523Not read. Just don’t.
>>32562523yeah... you need to embrace whatever the fuck is going on with your marriage asap.
>>32562523Not reading that, Human Trash.
