about my lack of ambition and future.I just didn't stop her all day.I listen extremely well.However, my patience has a limit.I didn't know how long it had been since she started talking but I had basically finished dinner when I finally told her she's "tiring me out".I glanced at the clock and was shocked to realize it was 8:00PM and I had literally listened to her for 9 hours uninterrupted.So I abruptly cut her off and she started making fun of me for being tired of listening to her.As soon as I put a boundary up or end the conversation with her, she's always mad at me for it.She comes to my door an hour later and says she's just trying to help.Well how does this help?If I dont have a disciplined routine or a life direction... how is listening to someone for 9 hours (uninterrupted btw, I literally cannot do constant life-changing-discovery thought exercises for 9 hours a day...) going to fix it?The fucking strangest thing is that my mom is in just as bad of a situation than I am, work-life wise. So she's just stolen 9 hours of my life that I can never take back and I have 0 new information that I can use to my advantage.This day has not helped me whatsoever, it's set me completely backwards.I feel like she's way too concerned over me, even if I'm floundering in life, because she is too.She makes me feel like her lifeline and if I ever cut her off from me I feel like I'm supposed to be guilty. But I honestly want to leave her alone and live by myself never to talk with her again.I want to stop this dynamic immediately but I dont even know what it is.Is this enmeshment?
>>32569070forgot to mention...I didn't input hardly anything to the conversation.I didnt respond beyond the most bare minimum to let her know I was listening.All day.This is how our conversations usually go.She tells me all these long, extremely long stories of when she was my age and all the people she used to know and how they all ended up.Then I just sit there and say uhuh and she tries hard to get me to espouse my interests and where I think I want to go in life and I just cant fucking answer man.I dont know what to say when someone talks at me for 4 hours every day.I get to my room and I just embrace literal silence until I go to sleep. I feel like killing myself because my life is just listening to my mom speak and she doesnt know she's making me feel like dogshit every time she's forcing me to listen to her.I stop her one fucking time and I feel like shit because I made her feel bad, as if I didnt listen for 9 hours.I listened to every fucking word.I looked it up. No one's mom does this crazy shit just mine. Why does she talk to me for 4 hours+ every day?Why does no one else have this problem?I'm going fucking psycho listening to this bitch. I just want to be alone.
>>32569070>If I dont have a disciplined routine or a life direction... how is listening to someone for 9 hours (uninterrupted btw, I literally cannot do constant life-changing-discovery thought exercises for 9 hours a day...) going to fix it?It's not supposed to fix it. It's supposed to call you out and make you aware of it. I notice you're not denying the accusations.>The fucking strangest thing is that my mom is in just as bad of a situation than I am, work-life wise.Well here's a radical thought, did it ever occur to you that she might want better for you than what she has herself? That she knows what it's like firsthand and that she doesn't want you to never be better and find out the hard way like she did?You don't seem very bright OP.
>>32569097He is a lost cause, lol. The most basic logic is lost on him.
>>32569097>>32569120No you don't understand.How many times have you been engaged in a conversation for 4+ hours?This is not a regular daily occurrence for most people I'm guessing.She does this to me every day.And if I stop her on hour 2... she tells me straight up that I'm wrong for not listening to her.What the fuck? No. I have limited time in the day to listen to you.Do you guys have wives? What would you do if your wife or gf told you that you have to listen to her speak at you for 4 hours a day about how fucked your life is... while they dont work?Yeah maybe "most basic logic is lost on me"because she's making me go fucking insane with useless fucking information that doesnt help me in any way.
>>32569148She will atop once you start taking her advice and get your shit together. Yes, this is not normal, but not having your shit together is not normal either and as long as you don‘t, she will make sure to not give you a break. She is a good mom, not just letting you be complacent and rot. She will keep pushing you until you are annoyed enough to move out and become an adult. She is doing gods work and it must be fucking exhausting to try and be annoying enough to get an adult toddler to grow up. Like giving birth all over again day after day. She knows that you don‘t have any dignity or strength to make you get your life together, so all she has left is try to make it unbearable for you to not at least move out. She is self sacrificing so hard right now and all that for a hopeless abomination of a creature like you. Only a mother can love like this.
>>32569148>This is not a regular daily occurrence for most people I'm guessingYeah, because most people would have listened after the first time. Way to prove our point, retard.>What would you do if your wife or gf told you that you have to listen to her speak at you for 4 hours a day about how fucked your life isIf she was right, I'd be more concerned about that than with how offended I was that she said it to me.
>>32569178This anon is right. >why does she keep repeating the same shit every day all day Because you are not changing your ways and because she is right OP you fucking retard.
>>32569070You are doing the same thing to me.
>>32569093>>32569070you're probably the biggest loser I've seen on this site in a long time.I don't know where to start with you other than saying it's not your mom's fault you didn't tell her to just shut up and fuck off.
>>32569070>>32569093>>32569148Actually, OP, I think my MIL is very similar to your mother.Personally I think that she has undiagnosed autism/ADHD that has been hand-waved her entire life because she's from the "she's a hot trophy wife, she doesn't need to be smart" 70s era.She isn't independently functional as an adult - They got divorced a few years ago and she's just falling apart because she has zero social awareness or executive function. You can speak to her for an hour and recognize that she has the mental age of a 12/13-year-old.She's EXTREMELY judgemental - You can't hold a conversation with her, because she only talks about perceived failures/wrongs that a person has committed and how they should be living their lives instead. She speaks very quickly and loudly, gasping occasionally in-between sentences, and if you reply at all, she stares at you for a moment before continuing without acknowledging what you've said.I only lived with her for 8 months and I seethe with rage remembering it. I absolutely understand how fucked it was for my husband living with her for ~23 years, and I do believe that he was held back (socially, professionally, academically) because of the intense stress of having to deal with her. She's a source of depression.
>>32569070I know I'm a total asshole but you make me feel better about myself.Your mother who cares for you (which she should be) is talking to you about your ambition and future? Gee wizz I don't fucking know maybe she's actually concerned about you? Maybe she wants you to perform better than she ever did? Maybe she wants you to actually reach for the stars?I know people say all children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children. You completely flipped the script OP. Not all children deserve parents, you should be thankful your mother actually gives a shit about you when she could've very well aborted you like the insult to her you are.
>>32569487I kind of missed the part where I emphasize that she TALKS constantly. We regularly mute the phone and put it down on speakerphone and she'll go on for 30+ minutes without realizing that nobody has replied.She, too, will just continue to talk for 8+ hours but yeah, she gets excited and starts going faster and louder until she can't breathe. Kind of like an excited dog choking itself.
>boo hoo my mother enjoys talking to meRetard.
>>32569070>> be op>> live with parents>> bludge off parents>> burden on parents>> parents see their life force draining away by vampire lleech OP>> mum tries to set up a boundary >> tries to get to leave>> tries to push for a job>> tries to push for independence >> tries to give herself a future that isn't crushed by the weight of parasitic adult child>> OP congratulates self for not interrupting her while not actually listening either>> nothing she says sinks in>> completely wastes her time>> completely disrespects her>> tells her midway through her putting up a boundary that he's tired and to go away >> can't understand why she'd get upset >> thinks he's the one setting a boundary Imagine if the cops were trying to write you a legitimate ticket and you told them to fuck off, then tried to drive away thinking you were "just setting a boundary". Lol. You are straight up retarded. Get a job and get out of your parents house. They don't want you anymore. That's what it took her 9 hours to try to tell you. You're a giant sack of worthless shit that is a massive disappointment to her and you need to stand on your own two feet. You're not the victim, you're just a fuckwit
>>32569070>>32569093>>32569148I do not believe she talked for 8 hours. People need to eat and go to the bathroom. You could not have sat and listened for 8 hours.Start by being truthful to us and yourself and there may be chance to work on your actual issues.
>>32569070>The fucking strangest thing is that my mom is in just as bad of a situation than I am, work-life wise.She's unhappy with her situation and directing her negative feelings at you.
>>32569650If you're inside of the house for 8 straight hours, my MIL will absolutely just keep going. She followed me not only to the toilet (and kept talking through the door) but the shower on multiple occasions. Just stood outside the door talking for the entire ~20 minutes, then pivoted to telling me what I did wrong in not cleaning the shower immediately afterwards, explaining how to use the specific products/tools that she uses, then that would slowly branch into something related to those tools, which would then remind her of something else that someone, somewhere was doing incorrectly.
>>32569737And if SHE had to use the toilet, she would just yell louder through the door.
>listening to literal hours of a woman's bullshit>instead of going out and fixing itvery feminine of yougo out and do something, faggot
>>32569737>>32569746Is there a reason you're accepting this behavior?
>>32569070>Wahmen bad = funny
>>32569070as long as you live with mom rent free she has the right to lecture you however long she wants sory bro. You need to move out orobably or start oaying rent then you can tell her to shut it
>>32569070>Is this enmeshment?No, this is you being an unlovable, uncoachable faggot who is so socially dumb he can't understand that his mother wants him to actually do something with his life and not have the lack of experience equal to a sack of fucking potatoes.
>>32569070You should limit it to 30 minutes a day. This is a very simple solution.
>>32569070Op is a great example of how destructive a mother can be when there is no father. She left you to get addicted to screens and internet, which is why you're such a jaded cunt now, you're literally raised by 4chan and other online shit holes.
>>32570004If he's an adult his Mom should be letting him figure his own stuff out.>>32569487You sound like the judgemental one. Overly harsh
>>32570041If he is an adult than he shouldn't be bitching about his problems like a whiny bitch on the internet. If he is an adult he should've told her to simply stop talking than being complacent for NINE HOURS.I'm so tired of soft faggots like OP who come in here and shittify my board.
>>32570106I'm sorry you grew up an orphan
>>32570750>Anon is le orphan because he is logical?You are retarded.
>>32569070Just as you said leave her and live by yourself, you will feel freedom and no more talks, and remember that humans is not angels, everyone did a lot of sins, so don't listen any advice from anyone, and do what you like, work and money gives you power and you can do whatever cuz you handle yourself, and you have the freedom to do whatever you want, even if people's you know hates you for doing that, or even if you staying outdoor in somewhere enjoying your time and they're was walking and look at you with anger look or look bad at you, then it's not a big problem they just walked away like when a car pass beside you away they will be in another location and you still in the same place enjoying your time and you can change that place to go enjoy somewhere else, cuz the looking doesn't hurt, enjoy your tasty time, and don't hurt people's with words or physically, and don't let people's hurt you with words or physically.
>>32571889And if someone looked at you with doesn't care look, then don't care too, it's easy, cuz your finger isn't under his/her teeth and you don't take free money from them to care about them.
