>>32569134
>What are some tips and methods to become a more confident and interesting person?
This is an incredibly common topic here. Search the 4plebs /adv/ archive for literally thousands of threads of discussion and advice on this topic.

>>32569134
>How can I gain a personality?
You don’t. Personality gains (you). It cannot be intentionally chosen or forced by your own thoughts or feelings. By the time you develop in personality, you’d not have even noticed. It’s a slow process that happens over time and experience. The only way to chisel out more and more personality is by letting the outside world chisel that for you. Hard experience, challenges, obstacles, highs and lows, adventures, all of it does that for you without your knowing or conscious effort.

So effectively, you’re already on the path and already in this process by gaining those experiences you just got, like hanging out with a friend group despite not wanting to. That’s called pushing your comfort zones, letting reality outside of yourself etch experience into your character.

So just keep doing that. Don’t worry about failure or success too much. If you fail and fuck up, feel bad, but do not identify as that failure or the emotion, don’t call yourself a fuckup for fucking up. Just admit you are a person who fucked up, that is all. And you are also a person who can get shit right, that’s all. You’ll be aight.

>>32570689
Not OP, I feel like I don’t have any personality. I caught myself multiple times with parroting other people’s hobbies or views to look more likeable. Without it nobody wants to hang out with me or it’s always one sided and if I’m not initiating anything, the other side doesn’t care. So I always feel like an outsider without personality.

>>32569134
Get a hobby

>>32570742
>Not OP, I feel like I don’t have any personality. I caught myself multiple times with parroting other people’s hobbies or views to look more likeable.

Yeah that’s how humans get a personality. As children we do this by mimicking our parents and internalising what adults say and do, then we submit to peers. That’s how socialisation works and why socialisation is important. It gives people just enough of a sense of self to work with, then by adulthood they can discard or keep what they are and develop themselves further until they no longer require other people to form that personality for them. That’s just basic human development.

If you’re someone who is still lacking, feeling empty, or without a solid sense of self, it means your maturation is working a lot slower than the average person. That isn’t to say you’re immature or dumb, it simply suggests that you’ve had obstacles that slowed it down, or currently slow it down now. What those obstacles are, who knows. Common ones include autism, autism makes life a sensory slog, and senses are required to receive and project social expressions from yourself and others. So this sensory dilemma means autists mature a lot slower, and they have a difficulty knowing who they are for a good while. Other causes could be rough upbringing, or a number of reasons that basically made socialisation either difficult for you, or made you avoidant of it.

Either way, best option is therapy if you wanna speed it up. Otherwise you’ll be fine and you’ll get there so long as you keep getting out there and living the best you can.

>>32571147
I’m an autistic female actually, in my mid 30s. Socialising is too much so I do that occasionally but I still feel like a crap that I’m not normal and can’t hang out with people like others do. It feels like a chore, like a job, not entertainment at all.

>>32571179
So there you go, as I pointed out, autism is a common cause. This perhaps isn’t a reflection of yourself that you enjoy or want, but it’s (you). You will always have autism. But you can gain a solid sense of self, even with autism. It just requires accepting that is who you are, someone with autism. It also requires letting go of the idea of ‘normal’ too. That you never will be normal, ever. But here is the great news:

Normal does not exist. It never did, it’s just a linguistic illusion, something we say to describe something that is common, reoccurring. Just because something is common does not mean it is good. The cold and flu is common. Depending on your society, certain bad inhumane practices can be common, considered ‘normal’. It’s normal to cannibalise and eat human flesh in certain tribes of Papa New Guinea. Normal is a useless standard to live up to. It’s okay to let go of ‘normal’.

Why? Because you can be better than normal. And to do that, you simply focus on being comfortable with who and what you are. If you feel like crap when socialising, that’s okay. It feels bad, but it is okay to feel that given your sensory challenges. The trick is just finding ways to socialise that make it comfortable for (you). If you prefer socialising in groups, do that. If its 1-on-1 do that. If its just once a week, do that. Once a month? Do that. At a quiet environment? Go there. A busy environment? Go there. Pick and choose how you socialise using your comfort as the measuring stick and it’ll be fine, even when you don’t think or feel fine at first.

>>32571208
Actually nobody ever told me that. It’s pretty wise what you said about the concept of normal, anon. You also validated how I feel without judgement which is very unusual to me and nice to hear, honestly. How do you know so much about autism? Feels like you know more than myself lol.

PS. If you have a discord or snap I would love to add you. Are you a guy or a female as well?

>>32571235
I’m glad I could be of help to you.
>You also validated how I feel without judgement which is very unusual to me and nice to hear, honestly.
It’s because it’s the truth lol. It’s also something I understand painfully well, I have adhd. I know what it’s like to be an outsider, though it wasn’t socially where I was crippled, but in my focus and executive functioning (my willpower). I know what it’s like to try to keep up with people around me, only to constantly run out of mental breath and fail to keep up. I also know what it’s like to then be humiliated or even villainised for the crime of failing to keep up, for having invisible obstacles I knew not how to even describe to others. All I’m doing is using my words to illuminate the invisible to help people see lol.

>How do you know so much about autism?
Grew up around it, got family with autism and some friends too. And my way of thinking is I love to observe and seek patterns, I observe people. And so I’ve had a lifetime of watching the autism patterns play out.

I don’t use social media besides 4chan I’m afraid, for my own mental health lol. Adhd means im a dopamine addict, social media is like heroin to me, so I stay away from it where I can.

But if you got more posts im happy to read em

>>32571263
Haha, I get that. If you would change your mind about it let me know lol.

I do have a few more questions and things I struggle with. Dating, for example. I’m pretty open when it comes to sharing my diagnosis. I don’t want people to think I’m someone else so I don’t mind telling them about autism. The thing is that it seems to be very discouraging. I don’t remember when I had a proper date. I think guys think that I’m a freak of nature. Or maybe I am and that’s why it’s so hard to find someone.

>>32571282
>I don’t want people to think I’m someone else so I don’t mind telling them about autism. The thing is that it seems to be very discouraging. I don’t remember when I had a proper date. I think guys think that I’m a freak of nature. Or maybe I am and that’s why it’s so hard to find someone.

It’s because of ignorance & stigma. Ignorance is something we all have. People who do not know or understand something 100% will always feel perplexed by it, like encountering an unknown. You as an autist know that feeling well, right? How a surprise or a sudden change of routine knocks anxiety into you? It’s because of uncertainty. When things become uncertain, anxiety happens. That’s a natural human response to uncertainty.

So a guy on a date, you tell him you have autism. He has heard of it, maybe knows tiny info about what that means, and he feels uncertain. Not because of (you), but because of his own uncertainty. He will become perplexed. Not knowing whether or not he should act or speak differently in his efforts to try and please you, socially.

In a funny twist, you temporary let him feel the autistic experience lol. Because now it’s his turn to try and guess what the socially correct responses are. If you pointed that exact moment of confusion and perplexity out to him and said “Now imagine that feeling, but it’s your entire life”. You would have shown him exactly how part of autism feels.

And you know first hand, other non-autistic people have confused the shit out of you right? Made you feel perplexed. Yet you still enjoy them and value them. Same is true for a guy on a date if he is a kind man, Yes he might look perplexed, but he too can still choose to enjoy your company, same as you do for so-called ‘normies’.

Have you considered looking at it like this?

>>32571305
There must be something wrong about me because 2 guys ghosted me in a texting phase and 1 took me on a date, went to the bathroom and never came back. Had to pay for his meal.

Knowing so much about autism, would you consider dating one? What would you advise them on how to behave in order to gain someone’s sympathy?

>>32571329
Absolutely, I married one after all, my wife and my brother have autism.

>What would you advise them on how to behave in order to gain someone’s sympathy?
Well, I’d aim for their understanding. But I assume you meant that with sympathy. I’d tell an autist to take the mask off, if possible, if they are brave enough. The best way for it isn’t through how to behave, but on telling the truth. That may mean ceasing to pretend to be comfortable and confident, at a date, if you are asked ‘how are you?’ at the start, you respond with ‘Ah, I feel like shit, nervous as hell.’ Yknow, speaking true to your feelings, taking the mask off instead of ‘I’m fine, just tired’

And then if they ask why you feel bad, tell them why. ‘I’m socially anxious, new situations scare me a bit. And yknow, the lights and noise in this restaurant is giving me a headache’

That kinda spirit is needed - honesty. Which is scary to try, especially for autists, since autists commonly got punished by parents or teachers or anyone who did not care to understand the autistic experience. They may fear they will be hurt again. But the best move is trying that again, unmasking with honesty. Because it attracts honest people too. Other people who relate will naturally sympathise and will be attracted to you, they might even unmask and it turns out they have autism too lol Ive seen that happen before.

This way, those who aren’t right for you will leave. Let them go on their way. Those who bleed the same blood as you, those who are kindred spirits, they will stay and be drawn to you.

>>32570689
I appreciate this anon
>>32571120
I plan on going back to shooting every weekend, going out by myself, etc in the following week. Going to take everything slow but hobbies will help me
>>32571179
This also sums up how I am minus the 'tism however I never thought about getting checked up for it so maybe I somewhat am? idk

>>32571368
I’m so sorry for asking to add you, obviously I didn’t know you’re married. And to the autist! How did it happen, you and your wife? How did you successfully went through dating all the way to marriage? And how the marriage looks like, to you, but especially to her? Because it might be very insightful. Does her autism affect your relationship?

>>32571397
>I’m so sorry for asking to add you, obviously I didn’t know you’re married
That's quite alright. Truthfully though, I genuinely do stay away from social media. It hooks me and steals my focus due to my adhd lol. And even when I do add people from here, I am a very bad friend to keep. I forget to reply and then people assume I am ghosting on purpose. That's our curse as adhd's, we're accidental ghosters. Amazing convos with someone and then the other person doesn't hear from us in days, weeks. It's because our attention span is like a goldfish. We get hyper focused on another activity offline and we forget everything else exists. Maybe you met similar people? At any rate that's why I also stay away from social media lol. I make for terrible online company.

>And to the autist! How did it happen, you and your wife?
Random chance meeting off of Omegle, we discussed life and psychological topics, didn't know we were opposite sex since everyone is anonymous on that site (site is dead now). Added each other off of there. Then we just kept talking and eventually she confessed feelings a month or two later, I felt the same. We visited each other very often she didn't move too far away, then moved in together and married.


Married life is a blast, it was nice and peaceful during dating and remained nice and peaceful. Which surprised both of us because autism x ADHD are complete opposites. She requires routine, order, quiet. I require spontaneity, chaos, and energy. She is linear, I am all over the place. Yet we hit this loving balance where we help each other with our weaknesses. I can interpret socialising for her with tremendous accuracy, helping her 'see' invisible social rules and nuances. And she helps me structure myself, to get good at routines, building habits, and overcoming my executive function challenges. Whenever we may offend each other, we find ways to laugh about it and have deep convos of our differences into the night. She's amazing

>>32571397
>>32571482
So yeah, her autism does affect our relationship, it affects it positively. Which is hard to convince her of, she is convinced she is a burden and feels low self esteem very often. Which again, I appreciate about her. I am not pleased that she feels bad during those moments, but that she can unmask and let her inner dark emotions out around me safely and comfortably, it makes me feel trusted, helpful, and is a privilege. She just needs to exist and my day feels better.

>>32571502
What kind of dark thoughts she unmasks? How exactly dark are they? Idk, I have a strange feeling of familiarity, I relate to her a lot.

>>32571547
Catastrophic thoughts and fears 50% of the time. So dwelling on the absolute worst possible scenario on everything she loves. Pondering on time passing, getting older, how her dog will one day die, her loved ones including me. Or medical or physical things, feeling every thing she sees as imperfect in her as a sign of severe ugliness, or if she has a small medical anomaly happen, like muscle aches or a bump under skin, she is terrified it's cancer or something. If she feels on her own social standing, both in the past or present, she is convinced she is a colossal loser or failure, as a wife or daughter or as a woman entirely.

The other 50% would be what I call the void. So the void like unknowing of her personality, or of other people or what the future may or may not bring, she will fixated on uncertainty and the most common words that comes from her lips when she gets in this mindset is "what if..." Followed by "but maybe Im..." (Insert negative possibility)

That sort of thing.

>>32571572
Sounds tough. Is she receiving any help from therapy or medication? It’s not good that all she feels is mental pain and distress and no or very dull happiness. When I felt the same I spent some time in mental institution. I’m very sorry for you as well, it must be difficult for you to experience that on a daily basis.

>>32571602
She's had a bit of both a d she's doing better these days, learned to cope without them both. I'm sorry to hear that you had to go to a mental hospital that must have been a bizarre and difficult time for you.

It can be difficult to experience, yeah. But her experience I imagine is even harder, and I remember that and honor her struggle, which is why I'm glad to support her. She is beginning to believe that she isn't a burden, I constantly remind her I am not turned off or unattracted to her with the mask off lol. Took a while to get her to understand that, but she got there. It's because my heart is in my mind, I lean on cognitive empathy. That means her negativity genuinely doesn't hurt me, I can compartmentalize and use my mind to be of assistance when it's needed.
Her heart is in her chest, and she feels things very intensely, more intense than average people, so I already understand her. I genuinely find her ability to feel so intensely precisely the attractive thing about her, I admire it.

>>32571625
It wasn’t that bad, after all it helped me and since then I’m doing better. Just no luck with love.

Does your wife work or have anything to do? I find being busy a good way of keeping bad thoughts away. Also, if she tells you that she feels this or that, always believe her. Never belittle her feelings because she literally feels at 200 level when usual is 60.

>>32571652
Yeah, she is enjoying being a housewife atm, but she does get bored and sad if things run out for her to do. She is gonna get back into work soon, she had a great job of advertising and management, she is great at management. Managing time, date, schedules, making everything work in a straight line. She got burn out from a bad company that took advantage of her skills, overloaded her with work, making her work other people's shit, exploited her agreeableness until she mentally burnt out. So I convinced her to take a well deserved break lol.

>If she tells you that she feels this or that, always believe her. Never belittle her feelings because she literally feels at 200 level when usual is 60.
Amen. Thanks for the reminder, genuinely. Yes I found this to be true. It took me a long time to realise I don't need to go into problem solving mode, male instinct way of helping. Instead I just listen and comfort her, let her vent and just be a reliable presence.

I hope you find some good love soon anon, it's out there and you'll be surprised when it shows up. It has a way of finding you. What worked for my wife, how she hooked me in, it was her blunt honesty. The thing she masked usually, when she was finally able to let herself be her autist self, that was it, I was totally charmed and I caught feelings for her. If someone shanes you or blames you for being vulnerable, it's a sign they're a shitter and the more you get good at avoiding them, the quicker you will find someone, guaranteed

>>32571683
No, no, just listening is not enough in my experience. She needs comforting that is not only a presence of someone (her husband in your case) but is also physical like cuddling. Offering advice is good too - even if you think she doesn’t listen because she might be in a meltdown, she hears you. She’s just unable to act or reply, and I mean that literally.

>>32571930
Oh yeah absolutely. My strategy during her meltdown is:
- dim the lights
- turn down anything making a shit ton of noise
- lead her to the bedroom, or living room sofa
- let her lay and cling to me and cuddle and quietly comfort her.

I’ll try being more vocal about advice and what not. I just assumed noise out of my mouth would make her feel worse. Since I assume autism is mostly sensory yknow? I noticed her meltdowns occur during high stress sensory overload situations. After sight seeing, taking in busy and bright and chaotic environments like going around the city and travelling too long, especially if we’re socialising with new people. All that sensory weight adds up internally then she needs the meltdown to let out the pressure.

Funny thing about cuddling, she often wants that multiple time a day which I enjoy. I noticed a pattern, its always after meals, after tv shows, after anything where she had to use her senses for focus. So I can predict every time we’re gonna cuddle before she asks lol.

This must be a challenge especially for female autists + dating. Most guys who dont understand will take that as a sign for sex time. And I can only imagine the amount of misunderstanding or even damaging interactions that can occur there, if a female autist is misunderstood by a horny guy. Especially if the guy takes things the wrong way or has anger issues, could be dangerous.

>>32572016
It is a sensory hell, yeah. But after meltdown she’s in a shutdown mode and this is when you can quietly talk to her. She might not reply but she will hear you.

Yeah, this is something I’m personally afraid of in relationships. My last (ex) boyfriend was that kind of a guy and he liked to force sex and explaining he has his needs. I didn’t let him do that with me and it didn’t work out but I know that some female autists can be exploited because of being overly agreeable. I was reading a story of a young woman who was autistic and kinda stuck in a relationship with a narcissist who separated her from family, took her to different city away from them and then took control over finances and other things so she was stuck and unable to escape for a long time. Does your wife have any issues in that field?

>>32572297
It happened to her in her last relationship, financially controlled and cut off from family and friends. I felt bad that she moved from family to be with me. When we married, we share our finances, same bank account in both our names. I always have to remind her that our money means 'our' money. She often feels too afraid to spend our money, thinks it's my money and feels guilty for spending money on the house. So I give her financial teamwork. And I love her family, good people. Thankfully she is receptive and accepts the encouragement to go visit them often. I hope her family visits soon.

Autistic women are often getting into bad relationships, it's 86% of all autistic women will suffer abuse in their lifetime. Shows how fucked up the world is honestly.

>>32572614
I’m sorry to hear that, she already went through hell it seems. Why do you feel bad that she moved to live with you? It’s not like you’re doing the same thing the other guy did. But I’m curious why didn’t you move to her in that case?

>>32573119
I know. But it's still a big sacrifice for her to make, and I felt bad because she made that sacrifice, it isn't easy for her and it can make me feel guilty sometimes. The reason I didn't move to her is because I couldn't leave my own family, father took very ill and my mother recently passed away. So leaving my family would have meant leaving them at a time of need.

>>32573152
That only adds to her already hard life if she was close with her folks. I’m afraid that without some help she might deteriorate fast, mood wise. Do you both have a good communication? Connection? Talking is always a good idea. She’s autistic, so remember she hides how she feels behind the mask. Even if she unmasks with you, there is another mask underneath. There is always a mask.

>>32573152
Also my condolences on losing your mum. Did she have a good relationship with your wife?

>>32573233
She wasn’t close with her folks, but she had just started to gain a good bond with them before leaving. We have great communication and connection yeah, and I know what you mean about the mask under the mask. I’ve seen what the mask under the mask’s mask looks like lol. It’s a void like state, she goes into complete bluntness about hown everything is feeling like nothing, how she has no idea why she chose her current life, goes into deep abyssal doubt, wondering if she truly chose to be who she is for herself, or if it’s all just a performance, and people chose it for her. Bit of an identity crisis ensues at that rock bottom depth of her thinking. Seen it only twice before. She got embarrassed afterwards, told her its fine. I even playfully hinted at our wedding vows. ‘in sickness or in health, better or worse, rich or poor, mask or no mask..’ and that i love her with and without masks, and she instantly felt better and giggled.

>>32573243
She did yeah, though she never got to know her long. My mom had gotten sick by the time they met, she died about a year later afterwards. They didnt know each other long, but my mom was really happy that I found someone like her. My mom said she could just tell she was hiding a deep kindness

>>32573290
Embarrassed? I’m afraid I don’t follow. It’s because of how she behaved? You should tell her it’s ok and her feelings are valid even if there is a darkness in her.

That’s good she was able to get your mum’s acceptance. I bet it meant everything to you.

>>32573318
Yeah it did mean a lot to me.

>embarrassed
it was in the things she said she was embarrassed of, she worried if I’d doubt the memories we have or the things we have together. when she was in that dissociated state, she more or less said that she isn’t even sure if she wanted marriage, a relationship, a dog, her line of work, everything. Cuz yknow, she was feeling like it was all just a performance and not ‘her’, and started to panic over which was more real - the mask of her, or the emptiness, or something else. So she was embarrassed cuz she thought she made herself seem ungrateful or fake or ungenuine in how she worded it.

I did tell her what she felt was okay to feel yeah. Though she demanded an explanation, wanted me to tell her who she is and what she just felt. I told her it’s called ‘Depersonalisation’. It happens due to extreme stress and panic. I pointed out to her it timed up with her great aunt’s death, who she was close to. Then she put 2 and 2 together and she snapped out of it.

>>32573341
That’s a classic female autism right there lol. She’s lucky to have you, you seem to be very well oriented. Do you experience any other problems with her? You know, when her autism is getting in a way.

>>32573361
Thanks, I’m lucky to have her too, I got a crap ton of my own pathological errors and faults too, and she takes good care of me too.

>Do you experience any other problems with her? You know, when her autism is getting in a way.
With autism getting in the way? Yeah all the time but there honestly not problems, they’re more like funny social glitches. Things like not understanding my jokes, and getting all cute and confused at them lol. Or the fact that if life were a voice call, then her microphone is too loud, her emotion microphone i mean lol. She responds to things with x2 emotion. So that means when she laughs, she LAUGHS. When she cries, she cries hard. When I am making her feel impatient and annoyed when I’m being goofy or clumsy, she gets really annoyed at me, all grumpy but also cute. Honestly the bluntness and directness from her makes us both share unintended comedy moments. She’ll say something that’s so socially blunt and raw it comes off as random and out of nowhere because she dropped it in the wrong social context and I end up chuckling. She gets confused when I do because normally she expects people to hate on her or cuss her out for such a mistake, but I end up enjoying it and finding humour in it. Other than that, she can be a bit bossy, stubborn, always wanting to do things a certain way and doesn’t enjoy doing things in new or different ways, but I don’t take it personal, it keeps her anxiety levels down and if she’s happy, I’m happy.

>>32573393
Perks of being an autist: saying things in the most inappropriate moment. I know that way too much lol. Overall she seems to be very high functioning autists, especially if she’s not getting in any trouble. Do you know if she did in her past? To me the worst case was a certain social blindness when it comes to men. Never had the clue if they joke or flirt or try to make me interested in them. I had some bad experiences and because of that my relationship to sex is kinda weird. But I’ve made peace with that and it doesn’t bother me anymore.

>>32573425
Yea she is high functioning. She honestly doesn’t know if it got her into trouble in her past or not, she only got diagnosed recently. When she looks back, she is unable to know which memory had a social mistake or not, since she’s still learning. Sometimes when I tell her the logic of social nuance in a way an autist way of thinking can appreciate, she has a snap realisation and remembers in her past how she got into social problems because with the info I gave her, she then connects it to her past.

She does know that people didn’t like her in school much, because she got the best grades and wasn’t social with the other students, especially other girls.

Her relationship to sex is also strained too. For a long time she was convinced she was an asexual or had no sex drive at all. What we actually discovered together is that sex is just sensory hell for her, and the timing and mood needs to be just perfect, then she’s all for it. Basically, low anxiety, little to no sensory overload accumulated throughout the day, and all of her mental chores completed, then she gives herself time for relaxing and fun.

>>32573482
I imagine it is an issue for you because autism = endless anxiety. Which means she doesn’t want it too often. I know how it feels unfortunately.

>>32573518
We have a decent enough sex life. It used to be dry and not frequent. But the more we got better at communicating and identifying what barriers cause her anxiety flare ups, the more frequent she has less anxious days, means sex went from 1 every 2 months to 3-4 times a month. Which I think is perfect for me, I’m content with that. My adhd means if my brain doesnt get dopamine, it quickly looks for it elsewhere. So if sex isn’t happening, my brain will then get entertainment from doing a hobby instead, playing some videogames, or deep diving into my interests or books. Sex was never really a massive deal breaker for me. I go for love first, intelligence/depth second, sex third in my order of priorities in women.

>>32573543
Hej, the more we talk, the more I regret your taken and I can’t add you lol. I wish you both all the best, you seem to be what they call a power couple!

>>32573552
Thanks, I wish you the best too. Thanks for the fantastic convo and all the good luck and peace to you :)

God damn, I was waiting for you both to finish talking just to tell you that maybe the guy should reconsider the marriage and the chick should go for it

>>32569134
>>afraid to text her because I have nothing normal or interesting to talk about
What about horny?
You got a sex drive?
>What are some tips and methods to become a more confident and interesting person?
Confident: Literally just feel confident.
Instead of having your frame affected by how other people react to you, don't.
If you're doing that cringe ass "need validation from others before I value myself" shit, skip that step and just value yourself.
Interesting: find yourself interesting and disregard those who disagree.
If 99% of people are incompatible with your niche autistic interests, then continue being interesting and share it with the 1% who do.

>>32570689
>Personality gains (you). It cannot be intentionally chosen or forced by your own thoughts or feelings.
Extremely false in my case.
What happens to you when you choose how you think and feel about things in an attempt to have more productive/inspirational responses and thus build a life you value more by being more motivated to act?
Do you not then gain those ways of thinking and feeling innately after some time?
Because in me, what I consciously practice eventually becomes an unconscious habit.

>>32571147
>that’s how humans get a personality. As children we do this by mimicking our parents and internalising what adults say and do, then we submit to peers. That’s how socialisation works and why socialisation is important
No way. Am I not a human?
Sure I leaned some of that stuff, but in my case as a baby I justified my instinctual curiosity and frustration with rationalisations, and built a worldview around satisfying those instinctive feelings in me. Eventually I introjected that worldview upon myself to give me a morality, and thus attached a sense of "I" to the rationalisations and chasing of emotions.

>>32573576
They should e-fuck and screw that autist

>>32573601
>Do you not then gain those ways of thinking and feeling innately after some time?
You do yes. Those ways of thinking and feeling are shaped both externally and internally. So for example, if you read a lot of philosophy, or fiction, or whatever you wish, you will internalise ways of speaking, writing, thinking, eventually feeling. Its very subtle. It can also come from watching or listening to speakers, icons, basically anyone who has the power to influence you.

You won’t feel the influence, but you get inspired, you make your own custom way of life, picking pieces of one inspiration, fusing it with another, making your own psychological outfit and then choosing to practice it until it sticks.

So its one part external influences, other part internal selection and inner habits. The relationship between the external and internal is tied together.

>>32573611
>No way. Am I not a human?
Nah you’re human as human can be. How you experience that humanity may differ from others, that’s all. Everyone is simply life experiencing itself when all is said and done. Some experience it via rich internalisation and having their own small world in their minds, others mostly experience it on the surface, through physicality foremostly.

Both are human ways to live. Thinkers and fighters. I’m a greedy all or nothing kinda guy, I personally aim to be a thinking fighter, I go for both modes of living.

>>32573581
>You got a sex drive?
Not really. I mean I'm horny here and there, but I'd be too scared if I had the chance. I've been jacking off to the most degenerate hentai since I was 15 so I believe that also hinders my perception of having sex.
>>32573576
I kinda enjoyed watching them talk lol